It's Your Song
by SlackerDee
Summary: Ten years ago Sookie Stackhouse and Alcide were the perfect couple. Then he left for Nashville to become a country music star and things fell apart. With so much history between them, will Sookie and Alcide be able to mend fences when he returns?
1. White Horse

**Author's Notes: So, I was driving home on the Fourth of July and this song by Jason Aldean called Crazy Town came on the radio. Instantly my mind went to, "Gosh, Alcide would make a hot country super star." Got home, mentioned on twitter, LindsayK was all, OMG YES! So I emailed her and we brainstormed and this was born. So many thanks to LindsayK for not only helping me flesh out this idea, but also for beta'ing this story for me. Any mistakes are my own since I fiddled with this after she beta'd. This is a straight up romance story, with a dash of drama and more than enough angst. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SVM or the characters, more's the pity. I do not mention any songs mentioned in the fic. I just own…well I have a 3 year old, that's about it.**

_I was a dreamer before you went and let me down_

_Taylor Swift ~ White Horse_

**SPOV**

It was getting dark and I was usually out of the office by this time, but thanks to an emergency with a cat and a porcupine, I was running behind. Why someone wanted to keep a porcupine as a pet baffled me, but Mr. Porcupine decided that it didn't like the cat of the house and treated it to a dose of quills in the rear. Both cat and porcupine were fine and I sent the owner home with a very strong suggestion of giving the porcupine to a zoo or wildlife preserve. When would people learn that wild animals did not make good domestic pets?

I was cleaning the exam room when my best friend Amelia burst in. She literally radiated excitement so I stopped scrubbing the table with disinfectant and looked at her. I wasn't expecting to see her here since it was her turn to cook dinner. "Just what has you all up in arms?"

Amelia brushed back a lock of chestnut hair that had escaped the ponytail and fallen in her face. "Sookie, I have some really great news, but I'm not sure how you will take it."

I laughed and swiped the table one last time before pitching the towel into the dirty linen bag. "What, Tray finally proposed and you are moving out?" She furrowed her brow and I felt my heart sink. "Oh no, he did propose? Amelia, that is great news! I am so happy-"

I stopped because she held up her hand. She leaned against the counter that held all my supplies and studied her nails, obviously trying to think of a way to tell me whatever news she had. I was getting nervous, but I didn't know why. I knew it wasn't something life threatening because she wouldn't drag it out like this.

Finally she looked up. "Look, I didn't want to tell you, but Tray said I should. I was going to give them away, but, well, I just can't."

"Ames, you aren't making much sense you know," I said as I rearranged the instruments on the counter.

"Yes I know that, it's just, Sookie, I don't want you to be upset or anything," she replied quietly, her eyes on me.

I turned to face her and gave her a quick hug. "Short of telling me that you are moving out tomorrow, you won't upset me, whatever your news is, so spill."

Amelia nodded. "Right, might as well just say it." She drew in a deep breath and said so quickly that I had trouble discerning the words, "IhaveticketsforAlcide'sconcertonSaturday."

"What did you-," I asked but stopped as my brain put the proper spaces in the sentence she just rolled off. "YOU HAVE TICKETS FOR WHO?"

My shouting had Amelia flinching back but I couldn't feel bad for that. My best friend and roommate just told me that she had tickets to see the one man I thought I'd never hear from again. Her words were like a punch to the gut. I didn't know what to feel or what to think.

"I won them, on the radio. I wasn't even really paying attention to who the tickets were for," she babbled. "It was one of those inane trivia things, actually it's quite ironic because the question was 'What is a capon?' and seeing as you are a vet, I knew that it was-"

"A castrated rooster," I finished for her. "Yeah, ironic on so many levels, don't you think?"

I think she missed the sarcasm in my voice because Amelia just went on. "Yeah, exactly, so I got it right. It was only after I was the winner, I realized what I won. Don't hate me."

The last was said very quietly. I hated that Amelia would think that I would hate her for winning a radio contest. If it had been anyone but _him _ I would be so excited for her. But it was _him_ and that changed everything. Amelia knew our history, knew what I had gone through for him, so he could live his dream. She had held me when I cried, soothed me when I didn't think I could make it, and gave me support when I needed it most.

I looked at her, saw pain in her eyes. Pain because it hurt me to even think about _him_. I wanted to just collapse on the floor at the mention of his name. I wanted to wail about the injustice of him returning now. Why couldn't he have just stayed in Nashville?

"Sookie?" Amelia's tentative voice cut through my self pity.

I shook my head. "I don't hate you. It isn't your fault. You like his music, you should go."

"You like his music too," she stated.

I sighed, "Yeah, ain't that just a kick in the head."

"Sookie, it's just a concert." Amelia offered the words up like they didn't mean anything. Which was a lie, they meant a whole lot. A whole lot more than I was willing to risk.

"You know that isn't true," I replied quietly. "It would never be just a concert." I straightened up and glanced around to see if anything else needed tidying. It was getting late and I did have other responsibilities. "So, you and Tray are going?"

This time when Amelia looked away, I knew that something more was up. She had that look in her eye that meant she had an idea and I wasn't going to like it. She looked back and offered me a wavering grin. "Actually, Sookie, I was thinking that you and me could go."

My eyes almost popped out of my head at that suggestion. "Oh please tell me you are joking."

"I'm not!" Amelia shook her head slowly. "We never go out together anymore."

"Don't play that card on me," I said with an eye roll, "You know very well why I don't go out. Even if I did go out, it wouldn't be to that concert. No way, forget it."

"Please Sookie, do it for me."

I gave another shake of my head. "No, I promised myself five years ago that I wouldn't repeat the same mistakes twice. I won't risk him seeing me. It's bad enough that he'll be in Shreveport. He may decide to come visit his old stomping grounds. I'm actually considering take a week long vacation with Justin."

"You would actually take a week off and run away to avoid him?" Amelia asked me as I started towards the door.

I nodded and opened the door leading out to my lobby. "Yes, I would. I don't want to see him. I went down that road before, remember? You know what happened."

Amelia followed me out into the lobby and over to the receptionist desk. "That's just insane, Sookie. You have to stop running."

"No, I don't. I have to do what's best for me, and for Justin." For Alcide, I thought to myself as I fought the urge to cry.

Amelia slammed a hand on the desk, causing me to jump at the noise. "You can't let your past with him keep holding you back, Sook. You've been so wrapped up in finishing school, getting your practice off the ground, and taking care of Justin that you've forgotten that you're allowed for you to live. You don't have to be vet and mom all the time. You don't have to be the dumped childhood sweetheart of Alcide Herveaux that no one knows exists. You have to remember that with all that other stuff, you are still Sookie, still a woman. So come on, throw it back in his face, come with me. Remember what it is like to just be free."

It stung, hearing what everyone has been telling me for the last five years being said again, only this time by the one person who has never pressed the issue with me. Amelia had always been on my side, had always stood by my decisions when Jason and Tara disapproved. Now she was repeating what they had been telling me for years. It more than stung, it hurt. It always made a lot of sense, coming from her.

Maybe she had just worded it different. Jason always demanded I come clean. Tara always made me feel a little guilty for my decision. Amelia had said it all in a way that made me realize that I had been closing myself off to the world. That I had been setting myself up as the focus point for two things, my job and my son. She was making me open my eyes and see that I couldn't just be a mother and a vet, I had to be myself as well.

The only thing that had me agreeing with her completely was the fact that it was Alcide. We had been apart for almost ten years, except that one little slip five years ago. One little slip that neither of us intended to make. A slip that gave me the greatest joy in my life.

Amelia sorta drifted to the background as I bit my lip and thought back to all those years ago when it felt like my life was over.

_ I was waiting for Alcide to come over after his band practice to study for finals. There was only three more weeks of school left and we were coming down to the final hours of cramming. I wanted to do well on my exams because a full ride scholarship to LSU was depending on them. If I didn't get that scholarship, I wouldn't be going to LSU, Gran and I just couldn't afford full tuition, despite the fact we'd been saving for years._

_ I was sitting on the front porch, my advanced chemistry book balanced on my knees as I conferred with my notebook when I heard the truck bounce up our driveway. Garth Brooks' Friends In Low Places was blaring from the speakers and I smiled. Alcide did love Garth Brooks. His truck stopped in front of the house and I put my book aside to go and meet him._

_ He climbed out of the truck, his boots crunching on the gravel. I stopped a few feet away just to look at him. I did love to look at him. He was tall, with shoulders that had yet to fill out completely. He wore a tank top to beat the growing heat. It was a dark hunter green and looked great against his tan. He wore his usual Wranglers and when he turned to shut his door, I took a moment to admire his firm ass. _

_ His long dark hair was almost brushing his shoulders and he'd have to get it cut soon, if he didn't want to start wearing it in a small ponytail. Personally, I hoped he didn't cut it. I loved him with long hair, loved running my fingers through it as we cuddled or pulling on it when we engaged in really hot sex. I threw myself at him and relished in the feeling of his arms closing around me and holding me close._

_ His bright green eyes were dancing with excitement and I wondered what good news he had today. Maybe he finally got his acceptance letter to LSU. He had applied late, and only at my insistence, so we were still waiting to see if he got in. "What is it, Alcide? Did you get your LSU letter?"_

_ Instead of answering me, he planted a steamy kiss on my lips. I forgot all about the LSU letter and our study date as I melted against him. Our tongues brushed against each other as I tried to get even closer to him, though if I had gotten closer, we'd be doing it in my front lawn. Thinking of that, and the fact that Gran was in the house, had me pulling back and panting._

_ "What was that for?" I asked breathlessly._

_ "I just got the best news, Sookie," he replied with a wide grin._

_ "Oh!" I exclaimed, "You did get your acceptance letter! Oh Alcide, I'm so proud of you!"_

_ "What?" He shook his head and put his hands on my shoulders to stop my bouncing. "No I haven't gotten the letter yet. I just found out that I get access to that trust my granddaddy left me when I graduate."_

_ "Huh?"_

_ "I get to start using that money he left me," Alcide explained, "It's enough to support me for at least a couple years."_

_ "Support you?" I was really confused now and I just didn't know where he was going with this. Alcide wouldn't need to use the trust fund money for school since his daddy's construction business did well enough that they could afford tuition without scholarships, grants, or loans. We'd be spending the first year in dorms, so he wouldn't need it for living expenses. So what did he need the money for?_

_ "Nashville," he answered and then he picked me up and spun me around._

_ "I..." I clung to him because I didn't have a choice, I didn't want him dropping me. "I don't understand. What's in Nashville, you applied to LSU?"_

_ "I only did that because Dad was insisting I go to college. Now because the trust is finally available to me, I don't have to go to college. I can go straight to Nashville and start trying to get famous on my music."_

_ "What?" I screeched and pulled away from him. "I thought you wanted to go to college to be with me, Alcide! What is this nonsense about going to Nashville, you never said anything about it before."_

_ "I didn't have a reason to mention it before, Sookie," Alcide snapped, "I didn't think I'd be able to do it, since my father was so against it. And it isn't nonsense, it's what I want to do with my life."_

_ I felt the sting of tears in my eyes and blinked rapidly to keep them from falling. "I thought you wanted to go to college with me. If that is something you wanted to do with your life, don't you think you should have at least mentioned it in passing to me, you know, your girlfriend."_

_ He looked a little ashamed and I was glad. I was mad at him, and hurt, because he never bothered to mention this alternative to going to college before. If he was so set against going to college, then why had he even filled out the application and sent it in? A small voice whispered to me, 'because you made him.'. I didn't like that voice._

_ "Sookie, I just didn't think that it was important, that was all."_

_ "Wrong answer, Alcide! It was important enough that you are all excited about getting money to do it." I had a horrible thought, "Wait, do you mean that you aren't going to go to LSU with me? That you are going to go to Nashville now?"_

_ He nodded slowly. "After graduation."_

_ I felt the world spin and I think I staggered a bit because he had me in his arms and cradling me against him. Normally I'd have been all hot and bothered by his show of strength and from being so close to him, but not now. All I could think was that he was leaving. Leaving me._

_ My voice came out muffled and tiny against his chest. "What about me?"_

_ I felt him shift and he carried me to the porch. He sat on the steps just like I had been before everything started to crumble. His large hands stroked my hair, tucking it behind my ears. "Well, you can come with me."_

_ "I can't! I'm getting a scholarship to LSU. They have a veterinary school." I shook my head and fought back a sniff._

_ "I looked into things before I came over here, Sookie. The University of Tennessee in Knoxville has a vet school too."_

_ I looked up enough to give him a withering look. "Knoxville is almost three hours from Nashville, that isn't going to be with you."_

_ "So, we'll be a day drive apart, we can work things out." Alcide gave a little shrug that I took to mean, there, there don't be silly._

_ I stiffened and wrestled out of his grip and sat beside him. I glared at him. "No, we won't. For one thing, I didn't get a full ride scholarship to the university in Tennessee, I got offered one from LSU. For another, I don't want to leave Louisiana, I like it here. I want to be close to my Gran. And, well, it's just insane to want to go to Nashville. It's a stupid risk."_

_ Alcide stiffened next to me. Good we could be a matched pair. Especially when he started glaring back at me. "It isn't a stupid risk, it's my dream. You know that I love singing and songwriting. I have for years. I want to take this chance to go and try and make a career out of it."_

_ "So come to college, major in music," I said harshly, "You know you don't have to leave me to make it your career."_

_ "Hey now, I wanted you to come with me. You are the one being stubborn and refusing to go. And I don't want a major in music. That won't help me be a country music star. That's what I want. The only way to get that is to go to Nashville and try for a record deal."_

_ "I'm not being stubborn!" I shouted and jumped to my feet. "You are the one being stubborn. I have to go to LSU, it's the only college that gave me a scholarship that meets my needs to be a vet!"_

_ "The University of-"_

_ I cut him off. "I am NOT going to some stupid university in Tennessee just because you want to go to Nashville. I'm not going to go give up what I've worked so hard on just so you can go on and on about some silly dream!"_

_ Alcide jumped to his feet at that and got in my face. "Oh, and being a vet isn't a silly dream?"_

_ That hurt, a lot. I'd been planning on being a vet since I helped my first injured animal, a baby bird that fell out of it's nest. "No it isn't. It's a well respected career and one I've given a lot of thought to. Unlike your stupid career choice."_

_ "I've given this as much thought as you've give yours, Sookie. Don't sit there and belittle my dream just because you are so...so...snobby!"_

_ "SNOBBY? I'm snobby? Well at least I'm not delusional! I thought you loved me, Alcide Herveaux! But it was just a lie since you are oh so willing to just run off and dismiss all we have!" I screamed in his face. Tears of anger and pain were rolling down my face. I couldn't take this. It was too much, all of this at once. I couldn't find my balance._

_ He ignored the tears, his own anger turning his handsome face red. "I do love you, Sookie. But maybe it is you who doesn't love me because you aren't willing to go to an alternative school that offers all LSU does. You are just being a selfish bitch."_

_ I gasped and stumbled back. Alcide blinked as if he just realized what he said and took a step towards me, his face contrite. "Jesus, Sookie, I didn't mean that. I just thought that you'd be happy for me. I already had this fight with Dad and I didn't expect it from you."_

_ "Well maybe,"I said coldly as I stepped back to avoid his touch, "if you had told me before, when we were talking about college and careers and what we wanted to do after graduation, we wouldn't have had this fight. Maybe if you had cared enough about me to share your feelings, like people in love do, I would have been more understanding." My words hurt him but I didn't care. He hurt me and I wanted to hurt him back. "I can't stand to look at you. Get out of here. I don't ever want to see you again."_

_ Alcide looked like I had just stabbed him. I felt a tiny bit of guilt when he struggled to speak. "You don't mean that, I know you don't."_

_ "Do you really mean to go to Nashville after graduation?" I asked in a tiny voice, praying that he'd say he didn't, that it had been one big joke. I wanted it to be a joke. I could be pissed that it was a joke because the pain that was tearing at my chest would be gone. I stopped breathing, I think, as I watched his face for some sign, some clue of what he would say. It was the worst moment of my life, not knowing._

_ Alcide's face tightened up and he nodded. "Yes I do. I won't give this up. I've wanted it for too long."_

_ I straightened up and struggled not to cry. My heart felt like it had just been frozen then pounded with a hammer until all that was left was tiny pieces. "Then I meant it. I'm done with you! I hate you, Alcide, I hate you!"_

_ I turned and slammed into the house before he could say anything. Gran came out of the living room to ask what all the shouting was about but I was already crying too hard to answer. I just slammed the front door and locked it so Alcide couldn't come in. Then I went and threw myself into Gran's arms and sobbed._

"Sookie?" Amelia's soft voice drew me back from the memory. Her fingers were soft on my face as she wiped away tears I hadn't known I was crying. "What was it, Sookie?"

I buried my head in her shoulder. "I was thinking about the first time he left me. I can't do this, Ames, I can't go. I can't see him. It hurts just to think about it."

"Oh, sweetie," she crooned and led me to the soft plush chairs in my waiting room. She sat by me and held me as I sobbed, reliving the past over and over again. Each time I saw Alcide's face as I screamed that I hated him, I felt like a piece of me died. I didn't hate him, I just hated the fact that he loved his music more than he loved me.

"I'm sorry, Ames, I know you want me to be strong and to get past this, but I just can't. I love him too much. I did then and I still do. It would just break me all over again to see him," I whispered.

"No, no it wouldn't." Amelia's voice was firm and I looked up at her. She wiped away the tears. "Sookie, you are the strongest woman I know. You got past your Gran dying, you gave birth to a beautiful little boy and raised him all on your own, you finished school and got your degree and license. You've built this practice and you still have time to make that young man of yours happy. You've done so much that you can't let this get you down. Screw Alcide. Just go to the concert because you want to have fun. Don't go because it's him, go because its a concert, an adult outing, not going to ChuckECheese or the park."

I snorted and laughed at that. I really couldn't remember the last time I went out with just the adults. Not since I passed my vet exam. God, over a year. I was pathetic. I sniffed and wiped my nose. "Maybe, I just don't know."

Amelia rolled her eyes at my hesitation but got to her feet and pulled me up. "Listen, it's Thursday, you have two days to think about it. Really think about it. If you agree to go, I'll get Tray to watch Justin. You won't have to worry about anything but having fun."

I looked at her and arched a brow at the suggestion of her boyfriend babysitting. We both started laughing when we thought of big bad Tray Dawson chasing around a very active four year old. I was clutching my stomach by the time I finished laughing. "Oh that is just to die for. I may agree to go just to get Tray to babysit. We can set up hidden cameras and put clips on YouTube."

Amelia died laughing again, which set me off. I was glad I could laugh. It kept me from thinking about other things. This time when we stopped laughing, Amelia made me promise to think about it, which I did do. Then we locked up the clinic and parted ways, Amelia to go home and start dinner, and me to pick up my son from his sitter's. I had a lot to think about and to consider. Somehow, I just knew that going to the concert wouldn't be it. I knew that if I made the decision to go, I'd be making the decision to let Alcide back into my life, mine and Justin's. I just wasn't sure if I was ready for that.

**Author's Notes: There you have it, my new little story. I've already gotten four chapters written, so there shouldn't be delays in the weekly posting of chapters. LindsayK has been amazing on helping with this, if you aren't reading her stories, then what are you waiting for? Go do it! Leave some review love and let me know what you think, I'll do my best to respond. Thanks for reading.**


	2. Blessed

**Author's Notes: I don't really have much to say about this chapter, other than it's a set up chapter. And you get to meet Justin. Many many thanks to LindsayK for beta'ing and being my sounding board. She's amazing and if you aren't reading her stories, then you really don't know what you are missing. I highly recommend Studybuddies. Nerd!Eric FTW.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the SVM universe or characters. I just invited them over to play, I haven't decided if I'll let Alcide leave though.**

**It's Your Song**

**Chapter Two**

**SPOV**

_To be here with the ones that love me, to love them so much it hurts, I have been blessed._

_~ Blessed by Martina McBride_

I drove home that evening with my little boy bouncing happily in his booster seat. I kept looking at him in the rear view mirror. It never ceased to amaze me that this little bundle energy came from me. I swear, if I could bottle the energy that just oozed from him, I'd be the richest woman in the world. I'm sure I wasn't the only woman to think that too. Every mother must think that at some point in her life.

He was now craning his neck back to see the stars through the back window. His blonde hair, the exact honey gold shade of mine, was tousled and disheveled. He had played hard today. His face was still soft and round with baby fat. I mourned the day when that would smooth away. Right now he had a cherubic face, the face of an angel. At four years old, he was a charmer. When he got older, he'd be a charmer still, but in a completely different context. I could see him at sixteen, with his father's good looks and smooth words.

There were already hints of his father in him, the sharp cheekbones that were covered by his chubby cheeks, the long dark lashes that framed his sky blue eyes, his already stocky build. But he had my ears, my nose, my lips, and my eye shape and color. Really you wouldn't know who his father was just by looking at him. I was eternally grateful for that because it saved me a lot of pain and trouble.

I pulled off Hummingbird Road and drove up the bump driveway to the old farmhouse. I was proud to be living here, raising my son here, just as I was raised here. It meant something to me to have my little boy running in the same yard and rooms as I did. I pulled around to the back of the house, cursing softly under my breath as I hit a particularly deep pothole. In the backseat, Justin mimicked my words to perfection. Oops.

I parked my SUV next to Amelia's little hybrid car. Justin was undoing his seat belt before I even got out of the car. I grabbed my briefcase from the passenger side before I opened his door and helped him out. He held my hand and chattered at me about his day as we walked up the back porch and into the house. The rich smell of lasagna and garlic bread greeted us when we stepped into the kitchen.

I set down my briefcase and smiled as Justin ran to throw himself at Tray, who was sitting with Amelia at the table. "Good evening, Tray. Amelia, it smells wonderful."

Tray hugged Justin and hauled him up on his knee. As Justin told Tray about how he built the biggest and bestest sandcastle in the sandbox at the sitter's, Tray looked at me with concern. I knew from his look that Amelia told him about telling me about Alcide's concert tickets and my breakdown. I smiled at him and patted him on the shoulder to let him know I was okay, for now.

Words could not describe how much I adored and appreciated Tray. He had only just started dating Amelia when I found myself pregnant. Amelia was with me every step of the way, which meant Tray was there as well. Instead of being scared off by the crazy pregnant lady, Tray really pulled through for me. Since then, he's been a pillar of support and one of the best father figures for Justin.

"I thought we could use some Italian tonight," Amelia said as she rose to pour me a glass of red wine.

"Mhm," I murmured as I accepted the glass from her, "I'll just go change into something more comfortable and we can eat."

"Not to mention cleaner." Amelia snorted and pointed out the puppy piddle stain on the bottom of my jeans.

I rolled my eyes and told Justin to go put his bag away and wash his hands before dinner. His little feet hit the floor running as he took off for his bedroom. I followed at a more sedate pace to my own room. I pulled on a pair of black yoga pants and a oversize t-shirt with George Strait on it. When I saw the shirt in the mirror, I wrinkled my nose and almost changed. Alcide had bought me this shirt at the George Strait concert he took me to in Dallas when I was seventeen. It had been our first official date. I hardly ever wore it, except when I needed comfort. I guess I was in the mood of comfort and happier times tonight.

Justin met me outside my door and together we walked back to the kitchen and took our places at the table. I had to help him into the booster seat in his chair. He was too big for his high chair and insisted that he was a big boy and could eat with the adults. I had to admit, he had better table manners than my brother, Jason, who was almost thirty-one.

I served him a small portion of the lasagna, knowing he'd eat more since it was his favorite food, and a slice of Amelia's homemade garlic bread before fixing myself a plate. It was Justin's turn to say grace and like always, he asked God to bless each of his, his daycare, his uncle Jason, all the animals I took care of, and of course, his toy trucks. I was hiding my laughter by the time he finished.

We talked about my porcupine emergency, which might have been a mistake because when I finished the tale, Tray was laughing so hard that he almost snorted wine through his nose. Justin finished first and asked to be excused to go and watch his Blue's Clues video. I got up and washed his face and hands and let him scurry off to the living room. Within moments we heard the TV start and the slightly annoying sounds of the Blue's Clues theme song.

Once we were sure he was completely occupied, things turned to more serious matters. Or at least, serious in the eyes of Amelia. She fixed me with a pointed stare. "So, have you done any thinking, Sookie?"

I groaned into my wine. "Christ, Amelia, no. You just told me about it."

"You're wearing the shirt," she said knowingly.

I rolled my eyes and speared another bite of lasagna. "It was the first thing I grabbed."

"Must have been digging since that usually sits at the bottom of your drawer." There was a gleeful glint in her deep blue eyes that made me shift uncomfortably in my seat. There is something to be said about having a roommate who was your best friend and who knew you as well as you knew yourself, if not better. Some of them weren't good things.

I gave a shrug. "So what? It's comfortable."

"It's also a reminder of _him_," she said smugly.

I glared at her. "I wouldn't have been thinking of him if you hadn't won those tickets."

"True," she acknowledged with a grin, "but that's a good thing."

Tray, who had been very quiet during this whole exchanged, covered Amelia's hand with his own. When she looked at him, he gave a brief shake of his head. "Don't, not now, Amelia."

She huffed impatiently. "I don't see why not. She has to face him eventually, she can't avoid him forever."

I held my hands up and made the time-out sign. "Wait a second here, I'm not avoiding him. I've never avoided him, he's the one who left. Twice."

"Oh please, he would have stayed the second time if you hadn't gone running your mouth. He would have come back if you had told him." Amelia wasn't one to pull her punches.

I almost winced but managed not to. After that last time, I had been so afraid of him leaving me again, that I left him, instead of him leaving me like Amelia said. I told her we had a fight and he was leaving. I had been so stupid and I was still paying for my mistakes. I finished off my wine. "You know my reasons why I didn't tell him and you've never said I was wrong before."

"I don't think you were wrong, but you can't blame it all on him. He shouldn't take the blame for it all."

"So you do think I was wrong. I should have just called him up and told him, 'Hey there, Alcide, remember that one night fling we had after Gran died? Well, guess my pill stopped working because I'm knocked up. I know you just hit the big time, but I'd like you to just drop everything and come back to be my baby daddy. Who gives a fuck about your dreams.' Is that what I should have done, Ames?" I was getting worked up now and my words came out clipped.

"Come on you two, don't fight." Tray looked ready to jump between us if it came to blows. I had to admire a man who was willing to put himself between two angry women. But then, Tray was tall and built like a linebacker so I guess he wasn't too worried about physical damage.

"We aren't fighting," Amelia snapped at him though her eyes were trained on me. "Sookie is just being stubborn, as usual. No, I don't think you were wrong, but I also don't think you were right. You made a decision that was best for you and him at the time. But come on Sookie, it's been almost five years. He hasn't just started to hit the big times, he is the big times. I think that in the course of four years you could have let him know."

"He would have dropped everything and came back here," I stated flatly, "Which is exactly what I don't want."

Amelia let loose a small growl. "Don't you think that is his decision to make, not yours?"

"I don't want him back."

"Liar."

"Oh what do you know?" I snapped and jumped up from the table, "You may be my best friend Amelia, and you may know me better than most, but that does not mean you have an insider's view of my head. So just butt the hell out."

Amelia jumped up right after me. "No, I won't butt out because it isn't just you I'm concerned about, Sookie." Her voice got quieter and she whispered. "I'm also worried about Justin. You think that little boy doesn't deserve to know who his daddy is?"

That was a low bow and I felt it slam into me like a baseball bat to the kidneys. Tears sprang to my eyes and I just stared at her. "Don't you ever, ever do that again, Amelia. Ever."

I turned and left the kitchen without saying another word. I swiped a hand under my eyes to wipe away the tears and peeked into the living room to check on Justin. He was laying on his stomach in the middle of the floor, hands propped up under his chin, legs bent at the knees and kicking as he watched the little blue dog on the television screen. Occasionally he'd bounce and yell, "CLUE!"

I leaned against the door and watched him. Amelia's words had cut deep, even deeper because of the ring of truth to them. I had been lying when I said I didn't want Alcide. I wanted him ten years ago when we parted ways, five years ago when I watched him walk out of my life once more, and every single day since then. It only got harder when I'd look at Justin and see hints of him.

I could remember vividly when I found out I was pregnant. It was two months after Gran died. I had been so wrapped up in my classes at the vet school at LSU that I never noticed missing my period until the morning sickness began. At first I just thought it was a bug, but when it didn't stop, I went to the doctor. I was shocked to find out I was pregnant and I knew who the father was. The only man I ever slept with.

I had wrestled with myself on calling and telling him. But right around the time I found out my big news, he had gotten his own. He had just received his first number one hit and things were just flying for him. He had dreamed of being a country music star and now his dreams were coming true. I understood then better than I had at eighteen how important his dreams were to him, just like my dream of being a vet was to me. I knew that he would have dropped everything to come back to me if he had learned I was pregnant. I wasn't willing to have him give up on that because of me. Not after I screwed things up when we graduated.

The only people who knew that Justin was Alcide's son were Amelia, Tray, and my brother Jason. I had sworn them to secrecy. I wouldn't have even told Jason the truth except that he had figured it out on his own. Everyone in Bon Temps thought that Justin was the result of a fling I had at school. I was content to let them think that, despite what the old traditionalists thought of me. I couldn't count the number of times one of Gran's friends told me that Gran would be disappointed in me for having a child out of wedlock. It was safe to say that not only would Gran not be disappointed because she'd know the truth, but I didn't really see her friends that often.

I had stayed in school right up until I gave birth, then I took a year off. I went back to school and finished. I had graduated the top of my class and passed my licensing exam with flying colors. I used the money I inherited from my parents and Gran to open up a general practice here in Bon Temps. One year later I was the one people brought their pets and livestock to.

While I was studying, getting my career off the ground, and raising my son, Alcide was becoming a superstar. Country news called him the New Garth Brooks. He stuck with the old school style of country music from the 80s and 90s, refusing to conform to today's country music standards. The first song he had written made it to number one and won him numerous awards. Every album went gold or platinum. His first headlining tour was completely sold out.

I was brought out of my thoughts by a tug on my shirt. I looked down and met Justin's smiling face. "Movie is over. Bath now?"

"Yeah, baby, it's time for your bath. Then it's bedtime," I said as I ruffled his hair.

He made a sad face and held my hand as we walked down to the bathroom for his bath. "Aw, no bed!"

"Yes bed. But if you are good and don't make a mess with the water, you can have two stories tonight instead of one."

"YAY!"

I filled the tub with his favorite bubble bath and stripped him. Bath time usually took almost thirty minutes, but I guess the promise of two stories instead of one cut down on Justin's urge to play in the water. I washed him after he decided that he was done playing with his boats and hauled him out to be dried. He wore a pull up at night, just in case of an accident, though he was pretty good with waking up and using the toilet. I had heard horror stories about potty training, but with Tray's help, Justin took to using the toilet like a duck to water. He loved to flush it.

With him smelling like lavender and chamomile from his body wash, and dressed in his Lightning McQueen jammies, we headed to his room. With no prompting from me, Justin climbed into his race car shaped bed and crawled under the CARS sheet and snuggled down for his story. When asked what he wanted to read, he selected Goodnight, Moon. I settled down next to him and began to read. The familiar routine of reading a bedtime story to my little boy soothed me and calmed me down quicker than anything. When I finished Where The Wild Things Are, he was yawning.

"Kiss, Mommy!" he demanded sleepily.

I obliged him and leaned down to brush kisses over his forehead and cheeks. His lips were a little slobbery against my cheek but it was the best kiss ever. I made sure he was tucked in and his night light was on. "Good night, baby boy."

"Night, Mommy. Love you," he whispered as he snuggled down into his pillow.

My heart surged at his innocent admission of love. "I love you too, sweetie. Sweet dreams."

I saw his lips curve in the glow of the night light and smiled. I left the door open a crack so I'd hear him in case he had a bad dream, and headed to the living room to clean up Justin's small mess of toys. I planned on going to the kitchen and grabbing a banana pop along with my briefcase, but the sight of Amelia curled up on the couch stopped me.

She looked at me and gave me a hesitant smile. "Sookie, I'm sorry. I should have kept my mouth shut."

I opened my mouth then closed it. Amelia must have really been regretting what she said because she almost never apologized. It took a crowbar to get an apology out of her in most cases where she wrong. I hadn't had to say anything to her for this one. I sighed and walked over to the couch and took a spot next to her.

I drew my legs up and rested my head on her shoulders. "No, I'm sorry. You are only trying to help, I know that." I sighed a little. "The thing is, you are right. I could have told him a million times but I've been too scared to. I don't want to be hurt again. I keep thinking, what if I tell him but he decides that he likes the fame of being a star more than me? What if he got over me and hates me for dragging him back into my life?"

"That's just insane," scolded Amelia. "I saw the way he looked at you at Gran's funeral. Not to mention, his song that came out right after that? Living with Regrets? Sookie that song is all about you and your relationship with him and you know it."

"No I don't know that. Not for sure." I sniffed a little. "I think that we've got too much of a past, and a lot of that is bad. I don't think that we could overcome that."

"I think you are being to hard on yourself and him. Alcide looked at you that day like Tray looks at me now. Feelings like that are strong and don't just fade away. After all, you still love him." Amelia sounded completely reasonable.

"Yeah, so don't you see why I can't go to this concert?" I asked, trying to be as reasonable as she was being.

Amelia shook her head and patted my knee. "No, I think that it is exactly why you should go. You have to face him sometime and wouldn't it be better if you did it in a setting where you could see him but he can't see you? I mean, what are the odds of him picking you out in a crowd? It's a sold out concert and there is no way he can see you in the stadium."

"I still don't know." I wavered between really wanting to say no and wanting to say yes. Amelia had some really good points and it would be nice to have a little girls night out. I did enjoy his music.

She saw the hesitation on my face and smiled slowly. "We can make a real night out of it. We can go out for dinner before the concert, then out for drinks afterward. It will be fun. Consider it an early birthday present."

When I still didn't say anything, she pouted. "Please? Pretty please? With a cherry on top?"

I giggled and nodded. "Fine, fine, anything to shut you up."

She squealed and hugged me. "Trust me Sookie, you won't regret this. It will be fun."

I hoped she was right because I was already starting to feel a little twinge of regret. In two days time, I'd see the man who gave me the happiest and the saddest moments of my life in all his glory, doing what he loved. I didn't know if I'd survive the experience.

**Author's Notes: Isn't Justin just adorable? And there you have it, Alcide is not aware he has a son. Now, I thought about keeping Justin's father a secret, but do you know how hard that would have been? Very hard, so no secrets. I hope you liked this chapter! Thanks for reading!**


	3. One Boy, One Girl

**Author's Notes: Okay, this is the awaited concert chapter. It is emotionally angsty, fair warning. My beta, the fantastic LindsayK has issued a tissue warning. So, you might need one or two. We FINALLY get to see Alcide. That's all I'm going to say.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SVM or the characters. If I did, Alcide would serenade me to sleep every night. **

**It's Your Song**

**Chapter Three**

_And for a moment the whole world, revolved around one boy, and one girl._

_~One Boy by Collin Raye_

**SPOV**

Somehow I made it through the next two days. Work on Friday was actually pretty mundane compared to Thursday. No porcupine emergencies, just the standard day in a vet's clinic. I neutered two dogs, gave several cats their shots and micro chips, went out for a check up on a pregnant horse, and did a follow up on Terry Bellefluer's prized Catahoula hound. She had been attacked by another dog but because of Terry's quick thinking in calling me first rather than try to care for the wounds himself, I managed to get the wounds stitched up before infection had set in.

After I closed the clinic on Friday, I picked Justin up from daycare and we had a little evening out. I don't know if I was feeling guilty for going out for adult time, but we went to McDonald's, then we drove into Shreveport to see a movie. Since the new Toy Story movie was out, that was what we saw and I'm glad we went. The movie was just adorable and Justin had a bunch of fun. After the movie, we stopped at a Coldstone Creamery and had an ice cream.

Despite having ice cream, Justin fell asleep on the drive back to Bon Temps, and didn't even wake up when I carried him inside to bed. Saturday was spent getting caught up on chores and playing catch and chase outside. I kept Justin as active as possible, the theory being if I wore him out during the day, then he wouldn't give his Uncle Tray any problems that evening.

Around four in the afternoon, Tray arrived and Amelia called me in to start getting ready. We were going to dinner at six, to Ernest's Orleans Restaurant, and the concert started at eight. I had been fighting nerves all day and they just got worse as I showered. When I got out and stepped into the bedroom, towels wrapped firmly around my hair and body, Amelia was waiting for me, shopping bag in hand.

"Since this is a big occasion, you actually go out as a woman and not a mother, I got you a present," she said without preamble.

I eyed the bag then her. "You know, I do have clothing suitable for adults."

Amelia gave an exaggerated roll of her eyes. "Please, Sookie, you either spend all your time with smelly animals or Justin. Your clothes are child friendly and animal friendly, plus most of your jeans are stained in some way or another."

I pouted. "I have some pairs that aren't stained at all."

"Yes, from high school."

"Bite me." I fell back on the standard come back of my youth.

Amelia just laughed and shoved the bag at me. "Go get dressed then we'll do your make up and hair."

"Ames," I whined as I took the bag, "It's just a concert."

"What was you said before, it isn't just a concert? Yeah, go change, sweetie and let me work my magic." She all but pushed me into the bathroom.

I thought about arguing and refusing the new clothes, but it was Amelia and when she got like this, it was just best if you went with it. I dried off and reached into the bag. I pulled out a low cut bra with clear straps, a pair of boy short panties (Thank you Amelia, for thinking I can't pick out my own underwear), a knee length denim skirt, and a turquoise blouse.

I got dressed quickly and pulled on the white ankle socks provided for me. The skirt hit me just above the knee, the pleats sort of swishing around my legs. The top was held up on my shoulders by two skinny spaghetti straps and off the shoulder sleeves. The neckline dipped just low enough to show the swell of my breasts and a hint of cleavage. A design of roses and swirls decorated the top in a mix of black and white on the bottom left portion and the sleeve. Under the top I wore the bra with those clear bra straps that were supposed to be 'invisible'.

I unwrapped the towel from around my hair as I stepped back into the bedroom. Amelia was waiting at my vanity, blow dryer, curler, and make up already spread out like a buffet. Justin was sitting cross legged on my bed, watching with fascination as Amelia arranged things to her liking.

I toweled off the excess water from my hair as I walked over to the bed and tweaked his nose. "I thought you were outside playing with Uncle Tray."

Justin grinned broadly up at me, showing off the gap between his top two front teeth. "Was. Unca Tray went to get pizza!"

"Oh so that's what you boys are doing tonight?" I asked as I moved to sit at the vanity.

Justin bounced and nodded. "Yup, Mommy. He said," and he paused to scrunch up his face to remember exactly what Tray said, "that tonight was a man's night. Pizza and movies."

I exchanged an amused look with Amelia. "A man's night, huh. Guess that means you aren't my little boy anymore?"

His eyes went wide and he shook his head. "No! Still am, just not tonight."

As Amelia turned on the blow dryer, I winked at him. "Good, cause I'd miss my little boy."

He stretched out on the bed on his stomach and watched as Amelia blow dried my hair and arranged it in an intricate French braid. Then she moved to my face and he sat up. "Mommy, where you going tonight?"

I focused on keeping my eyes open for Amelia to apply the mascara and eye liner. "Aunt Ames and I are going to dinner, then to a concert."

"Why can't I go?" he asked, his bottom lip starting to thrust out in a pout.

I signaled Amelia to stop and patted my knee. I had been expecting this kind of question from him. This was the first time since he was an infant that I went out without him in the evening and I only left him with a sitter as an infant when Amelia insisted on dragging me out to dinner for my twenty-sixth birthday. Justin jumped off the bed and crawled onto my lap.

I stroked his hair gently as I thought of how to answer him. "Well, baby, you know how every year on your birthday we go and do something?" He nodded and I went on, "Well, this is my birthday present from Aunt Ames. She's taking me out for the night, just us girls."

"But I wanna go."

My heart broke at that. I nuzzled his cheek. "I know sweetie, I know."

"So take me!"

"Don't you want to have a man's night with Uncle Tray?"

His lower lip started to wobble. "Don't want you to leave me. Might not come back."

Oh Christ, where had that come from? I turned him around so that I staring into eyes so like my own. They were sparkling with tears he tried to hold back. When one slipped down his cheek, I wiped it away tenderly. "I love you baby and I'll always come back. I'm only going to be cong for a couple hours. Like when I have to go to work at night because an animal needs my help, remember? I leave you with Aunt Ames for a while, but I always come back."

He nodded but still didn't look convinced. I glanced at Amelia to see if she had any helpful advice but all she could do was give me a helpless shrug. Justin never had a problem with staying with a sitter at night so I could go tend to an animal at night. Maybe he was upset because this wasn't work related. I got an idea.

"How about this sweetie, I'll call you and check in with you tonight. After we eat and when we get to the concert. Then when I get home, I'll come in your room and give you good night kisses."

"I'll be sleeping," he said solemnly.

I grinned and rubbed my nose against his. "Then I'll just have to wake you up, won't I. Can't miss our bedtime kisses, can we?"

"Read a story too?" he asked with a cagey look in his eye.

I laughed then. "You little con man. Yes, I'll read you a story too."

"Promise?"

"Cross my heart."

That chased the sadness from his face and he smiled and gave me a smacking kiss. "Okay, you can go with Aunt Ames."

"I'm glad I have your permission," I said with a snort and scooted him off my lap so Amelia could finish my make up. He re-assumed his position from the bed. Amelia used a glitter eye shadow instead of color, saying that the mascara and eyeliner was enough to enhance my blue eyes. A faint pink blush was brushed over my cheek and she used a pale peach toned gloss instead of lipstick.

When I looked in the mirror, I almost didn't recognize myself. Normally I just pulled my hair back in a pony tail and I didn't wear make up. After all, cats and dogs aren't concerned with your looks. I actually felt like I was a teenager again, from my outfit, to my make up, to the butterflies in my stomach. A teenager waiting for her first date.

Alcide had always affected me this way. It was a little unfair that I still reacted like this at even the thought of seeing him. If this is how I felt now, all nerves, how would I feel at the concert when I actually saw him on the stage? I didn't know if my nerves could handle it.

Justin and I headed out to the living room while Amelia got ready. She had just walked in when Tray showed up with a box of pepperoni pizza (the only kind Justin would eat) and a stack of rented DVDs. Amelia wore a pair of faded boot cut jeans, a top in dark blood red that left one shoulder bare and just met the waistband of her jeans. When she lifted her arms, she showed flashes of tanned stomach and a silver hoop belly button ring. She completed her ensemble with black pointy toe boots with a four-inch stiletto heel. Her feet would be killing her before we made it home.

Her shoulder length chestnut hair had been styled in loose curls, sort of a just out of bed tousled look, and her make up was just as subtle as mine. In her hands she carried a pair of light brown, tan really, slouch cowboy boots, for me, I presumed. I was correct when she passed them to me and I pulled them on quickly.

When she gestured, I rose from the couch and gave a little twirl for Tray and Justin's benefit. Both our boys clapped and Tray let out a low wolf whistle that caused me to laugh.

Justin bounced on the couch. "Mommy pretty!"

Tray scooped him up. "That's right, bucko, you got the prettiest mommy I ever saw."

"Hey! What about me?" asked Amelia with a mock glare.

Tray passed Justin off to me and went over to Amelia, snagging her around the waist. He twirled her then dipped her before giving her a loud drawn out kiss. "You, my dear, are just simply gorgeous."

"That's what I thought," said Amelia with a giggle, "Now let me go you lout. I need to fix my lip gloss."

"It was tasty," Tray said with an eyebrow wiggle.

Justin made a gagging noise. "Icky."

I snorted and shook my head. "You guys are nuts. Alright Justin, Mommy has to go now. Big hugs and kisses!"

Justin wrapped his arms around my neck and gave me a tight hug, squeezing so hard I almost couldn't breath. I hugged him back just as tightly before giving him a kiss on the cheek. I whispered I love you in his ear and put him down after he gave me a kiss.

Then he ran to Tray and clung to his leg. "Go Mommy, it's man time!"

"Come on Amelia! We are being banished!" I called over my shoulder as I went for my purse.

Amelia came hurrying back in and gave both Tray and Justin a kiss good bye. Then she was whisking me out the door and into her car. Tray and Justin came out on the back porch to wave good-bye and I swallowed hard to get the lump out of my throat.

Amelia looked at me. "They'll be fine, Sook. Tray has our numbers. If something happens he'll call."

"I know, it's just," I gave a little shrug unable to put my feelings into words.

Amelia reached out and patted me on my knee. "I know sweetie, but you need this. So perk up. Tonight is just all about fun."

Fun. Sure. How could I even think about having fun when I was going to a concert starring the man who broke my heart not once, but twice? I had to stop thinking like that. Amelia was right. I needed to do this. I needed to be able to look at him and realize that we each made our own decisions based on our own wants. Who cared if those wants tore us apart?

Amelia kept the conversation into Shreveport light and easy. We discussed our jobs, what we had planned for the Fourth of July, and what we were going to do on Justin's birthday come August. When we pulled into Ernest's, the place was packed and there was a thirty-minute wait to be seated in the lounge. So we gave our names and crowded in around the bar. Amelia had a Cosmo, and I had a gin and tonic.

As the night progressed and it came closer to concert time, I got more antsy. By the time we finished our meals and left, I'd had three gin and tonics and was feeling kinda loose. Loose enough to joke around when we arrived at CenturyTel Center. It turned out that Amelia's prize package included VIP parking, so no long walks to us. I made my promised call to Justin and listened to him for several minutes about how Uncle Tray taught him how to make homemade Play Doh. I could only hope and pray that Tray cleaned up the mess from their little boys experiment.

It wasn't until we were entering the arena, that I realized just what kind of seats Amelia won. Front row, center. We'd be right there next to the stage, as close as one could get without actually getting on stage. The worst part was, she had known and didn't tell me because she knew I'd back out. It pissed me off and I let her know exactly how I felt when we got to our seats.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me, Ames," I hissed into her ear.

She did not look at all sorry. "Well, if I had told you, would you have come?"

"No, absolutely not!" I exclaimed.

"Exactly." Amelia arched a brow at me, daring me to argue. "Stand there and tell me that you don't need this. Like I said, it's going to be packed and he won't be paying attention to whose in the front row. He's an entertainer, he'll be entertaining."

"But he could see me! Jesus, Ames, he isn't stupid. He'll know me and you if he sees us!"

"Who cares? So he sees you. Big freaking deal. It doesn't mean anything."

"The hell it doesn't, Amelia. He'll think I came because it's him," I growled.

"Isn't that exactly why you came?" she asked with a knowing look.

"I came because I didn't think I'd be right up in his face! You said I needed this, to get over everything. You were right, but I do not need him seeing me and taking this as an attempt to mend fences."

Amelia's face transformed into something pitying. "Would that really be so bad, Sookie?"

I hesitated. I wasn't sure how to answer that. I was saved from having to answer her when the opening act took the stage. It was hard to focus on the music with my brain mulling over Amelia's question. I really didn't know the answer to it. I had once thought that if Alcide saw me again, that he'd realize he made a huge mistake in leaving me and would come running back to me. I had been wrong about that because he had seen me again and just like before, he had left.

Why would I risk my heart on the exact same thing happening again? It was like the old saying, 'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.' I didn't want to go three for three.

There was no use bemoaning everything now. I couldn't leave. For one, Amelia drove us and I could not afford a cab back to Bon Temps. For another, I really did want to enjoy this night out. When your whole world is wrapped around your child, you lose touch with yourself. I didn't mind it in the long run, but a night like this was exactly what I needed to remind me that I was more than just a mother. Just like Amelia had pointed out. Damn her for always being right.

The opening act left the stage and I looked at Amelia. She was giving me a worried look as the techs set up the stage for Alcide's band. I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and gave a squeeze. "I'm sorry. I'll try not to be a bitch anymore tonight."

"That's my girl!" she cried.

I laughed and hugged her. The band came out and started their warm ups. Despite myself, I was starting to get excited. I hadn't been to a concert in ages. If I could force myself to ignore the personal connections here, I might actually enjoy the music.

One of the guitarists started to play a quick riff and all attention was on the stage. Lights started to flash as the music grew to deafening levels. Smoke rolled out, drifting across the stage and down to us. As the familiar opening chords to one of Alcide's more popular songs sounded, I found myself grabbing Amelia's hand and clenching it.

The center stage opened up and he rose like an angel from below, arms spread wide as the people around us went wild. A guitar was strapped to his back, and he pulled it around and began to strum. I barely heard the words to the quick paced song, my eyes were glued on him.

Alcide Herveaux. The only man I ever loved. He hadn't changed all that much since the last time I saw him, that clear December day almost five years ago. He'd put on some more muscle from the way his shirt was pulled taut across his shoulders, biceps, and down his chest and stomach. It was just tight enough that I could make out the definition of his washboard abs. He wore Wranglers that were tight on his ass and down his legs.

I could just barely make out his face through the smoke as he worked the stage. Strong chiseled cheeks, deep green eyes framed by thick dark lashes. His chin was hidden by a beard, well, a goatee that was turning into a beard. His bottom lip was just slightly fuller than his top lip and I remember how velvety smooth they felt against my own.

His fingers were magic on the guitar, electric for now but I knew he used an acoustic guitar as well. Half my mind was on the music and the other half was going back down memory lane. I remembered rainy mornings on my porch swing, listening to him strum the beat up guitar he saved for, the smoke filled room of Merlotte's on Friday nights as he entertained the bar.

His voice was like the slow burn of whiskey, husky as he belted the words of the songs that made him famous. The world of country music was right to call him the new Garth Brooks. He was energy personified as he moved across the stage, unable to stay in the same spot for more than a few minutes. He engaged the audience, prompted them to sing along with him.

For over an hour he sang without faltering, changing the mood from the quick pace songs that had you stomping your feet and clapping to slow ballads that made you want to cry. Each song told a story and you found yourself believing in every word.

When he paused to sip from the water bottle sitting next to the drum stand, I turned to see Amelia looking at me strangely. Confused by the soft concern in her eye, I reached up and felt my cheeks, they were wet from tears I hadn't realized I was crying. She leaned close to ask me what was wrong.

I clung to her arm. "This is what he was made for. I never realized how much he enjoyed singing and performing. It's like breathing to him."

Understanding flooded her face and I looked away. I couldn't bear to see the pity in her eyes. It was like a knife stabbing me in the heart, realizing how wrong I had been all those years ago to throw this back in his face.

The lights dimmed and a stool was brought out to the center of the stage, along with a mic and stand. Alcide took the stool and lowered the mic so it was level with his mouth. I shivered when he spoke.

"Now this song is pretty special to me, as it was my first number one hit."

The crowd around us went wild when they realized what song he was talking about. I had a death grip on Amelia's hand and I tried to look anywhere but the stage. He had the acoustic guitar balanced on his knee as he strummed slowly.

I don't know why I didn't look away, but I knew the minute he saw me. His eyes, shaded by the dim lights and the black cowboy hat he wore, went bright then dark. A small gasp escaped my mouth when he didn't look away. The intensity of his stare had me shifting, pulling away from Amelia. Then he spoke again, never once looking away from me.

"I wrote this song after a moment in my life that I never forgot and never stopped regretting. It is more than just a number one hit to me, it is a story of my life."

There was no way of knowing what he was thinking as he began to play the opening to chords to Living with Regrets. Amelia stepped closer to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulders as his husky voice sang a song about love gained and love lost.

He sang of loving someone and the foolish pride that tore them apart. He wove a tale of a man who loved a woman, but not enough to stay with her. His voice conveyed the pain that the man felt when he stepped back and let her go.

The world narrowed until it was just him and me as he sang the chorus. I didn't feel Amelia next to me, or the swaying body on the other side of me. All I saw was him as his voice softened and the music faded.

"Living with regrets, oh it tears you up inside. It's like trying to catch your breath and never seeing the light. It's trying to be whole again, but a huge piece of you is gone. Living with regrets, is living without you."

My breath caught in my throat the emotion I heard in his voice. Tears stung my eyes as I only now began to understand just what he was singing about. The tears fell as he went on to the next chorus.

The song went on to tell of second chances that was passed by. Of the agony of losing a loved one a second time because of fear and shame. The inability to step up and stop hiding behind the mask.

Again when he sang the chorus all of his attention was on me. I don't know how I knew it, because honestly he could have been looking at anyone in my vicinity, but I knew he was looking at me. There was depth of emotion in his eyes that only I would know about.

The last chords died away into the hush that had spread across the arena as he whisper sang the last line of the chorus one last time. "Living with regrets…is living without you."

The silence that followed the end of the song was deafening. I cried silently, the tears spilling down my cheeks as I refused to break eye contact with him. I ached to climb up on the stage and embrace him. The urge was so strong that I almost took the first step into what would have been a colossal mistake. I was saved by the thunderous applause that rose up around us. Just like that the mood between the two of us was broken.

Alcide rose and exchanged the acoustic guitar for electric with a teasing wink at the crowds. "I guess being back in my home state is making me perform better. Wouldn't want to let my people down."

The crowd laughed and cheered. I couldn't look at him as he dove into his cover of Garth Brook's Ain't Going Down Until The Sun Comes Up. There was no way to top the heart-rending rendition of Living with Regrets, so he went for something fast and blood pumping.

I felt like my soul had been set on fire. Words could not describe how I was feeling after that serenade. Because that was exactly what it had been. He might have been on stage for almost fifteen thousand people, but he had only been singing for one. Me.

Ten years of pain and longing had swamped us both and I just didn't know how he could sing after that. He had to have felt what I had. There was no way he could have put that much feeling into a song if he hadn't been experiencing it himself. I knew, after hearing that song, that Alcide had suffered as much as I had during our break up and separation.

Amelia and Tray had been right, all the times they insisted that he had written that song about me. I had just been too damn stubborn to admit it. There was no way I could blame the last five years on Alcide; that was on me. Now I knew just what he meant by living with regrets.

Amelia helped me dry my eyes and I was thankful she had used water proof mascara and eyeliner, otherwise I'd look like a raccoon. We listened to the rest of the concert, which lasted another hour. Alcide never looked at me again, not once. I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

After the concert, Amelia dragged me to the ladies room to repair the damage that had been caused by standing in a crowded arena for almost two hours. I didn't know why she was so insistent on doing something so fussy when all I wanted to do now was go home. I was in no mood to go out for drinks like we planned.

"Amelia, what is going on with you?" I asked as she brushed her hands down my back to rid invisible dirt for umpteenth time.

Amelia paused in her ministrations. "Well, there is something else I forgot to tell you."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "What?"

My stomach dropped to my feet as she said, "We have backstage passes and we are expected to go back now."

No. Fucking. Way.

I just stared at her as my brain tried to understand what it had just heard. Backstage passes. To see Alcide. To actually see him a lot more up close and personal than being in front row seats. To have to look him straight in the eye, knowing the depths of my feelings for him. To have to stand in the same room as him with all the ghosts between us.

My knees buckled under me and Amelia grabbed me to hold me upright. I shook my head frantically. "No, I can't do it. I just…fuck, Ames, not now."

"Yes now." She grabbed my chin and jerked my head up so I was looking at her and not the floor. "Listen to me, Sookie. You are going to go back there and you are going to see him. I know you saw and felt what I did, and I was just a bystander. That man still cares for you and you still obviously have feelings for him. This is a chance to fix what's broken. No more regrets. If you walk out of here tonight, you will never forgive yourself. You owe this to yourself, to Alcide, and to Justin."

I really fucking hated it when she was right. If Gran were still alive, she'd tell me to stiffen the steel in my spine and go see the man. I owed it a lot more to Alcide and Justin than I did to myself. This was one of those times in life, much like giving birth, that you had to endure the pain, because you just knew when it ended, you'd get the most unbelievable sensation of pleasure.

I nodded to her. "Alright, let's go. But Ames…"

She smiled comfortingly at me. "Don't worry, I won't leave you."

I clutched her hand as we walked back out and met security. Amelia showed them our backstage passes and they led us back behind the stage. We passed through a long but narrow hallway until the black clad man stopped in front of a door. There was a strip of poster board taped to the door that simply read 'Alcide Herveaux'.

I gulped hard as the man knocked on the door. There was some shuffling and some laughter as the door was opened a crack. I couldn't see who it was the security man spoke to, or hear what he had to say, but after a minute the door swung wide enough to allow Amelia and I entrance.

I gulped hard and held even tighter to Amelia's hand. To her credit, she didn't wince a single bit. The was a short man with black hair styled in a crew cut and thick black glasses that greeted us. "So these are our lucky winners! I'm Stan, DJ for 97.7, KJFM. Which one of you is Amelia?"

Amelia held up her free hand. "I am. This is my friend…"

"Sookie." It wasn't Amelia that finished the introduction. A door in the back of the room and off to the side had opened without us noticing. Alcide stood framed in the doorway, a towel held loosely in his hand. His voice was raspy from all the singing he had done, but I heard the shock in it as his green eyes latched onto me.

I drew in a shuddering breath and struggled not to look away from him. If he could look me in the face then the least I could do was return the favor. I released the breath slowly and said, "Hello, Alcide, it's been a long time."

**Author's Notes: What did I tell you? Emotionally angsty. The credit to the song lyrics for Living With Regrets goes to LindsayK. I mentioned needing lyrics and she thought up most of them, I just added the last line. It should be said that neither one of us are songwriters, and really, considering some of what I was thinking, its better that her's was used. She is AWESOME! She also encourages angst. Just saying. The restaurant and arena mentioned are real, located in Shreveport. I may have fudged the facts on how much the arena actually holds. Links to concert outfits for the gals will be up on my profile eventually. If you review, I'll respond! I've gotten so much better at it and I love hearing from the readers. Also, Alcide's POV starts next chapter. I will let you know that the next two chapters are in Alcide's POV, then I start alternating them. I'll stop babbling now. **


	4. Chasing Neon Rainbows

**Author's Notes: An Alcide POV! Drool away, I did. This chapter has the break up fight in Alcide's POV. Thanks to LindsayK for beta'ing and being a sounding board. This fic would be nothing without her! Psst, her bday is tomorrow, so you should scurry off and read her stories, if you haven't already, and leave her reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SVM or the characters. I just dress them up and slap them on a stage with a guitar.**

**It's Your Song**

**Chapter Four**

_Chasing that neon rainbow, living that honky-tonk dream._

_~Chasing That Neon Rainbow by Alan Jackson_

**APOV**

I waited backstage for the signal to move under the stage like I'd done countless times over the past five months. My palms were sweaty with nerves, though I should be past that now. However, this concert was different, it meant more to me than any concert in the past has meant. This concert was a local boy coming home to rock the world of the people who doubted him. This was me throwing every 'Oh you'll never make it' and 'You are just wasting your time' back in the faces of those who doubted me. It meant more because maybe, just maybe, _she_ will be here.

Ten years ago I left the small town of Bon Temps, Louisiana for Nashville. Hundreds of people go to Nashville each year with the dream of being a country super star. Some even succeeded. Those who didn't, either kept trucking along, or returned to their hometowns with their tails tucked between their legs. I was determined to be one of those who succeeded.

I'd fallen in love with music when I was ten years old. My granddaddy taught me how to play the guitar and the rest was history. I badgered my parents into getting me professional guitar lessons. I played so much that my father often threatened to take away the beaten up guitar I saved so long for.

I didn't just fall in love with any music, I fell in love with country music. From the deep tones of Johnny Cash to the sweet melody of Reba, I was a goner. My cassettes, and later CDs, were all country music. I worshiped Garth Brooks, George Strait, Alan Jackson, to name a few. My first concert was a Clint Black concert at the State Fair.

The only thing that came close to breaking the hold music had on me, wasn't a thing at all, but a person. When I was sixteen, I fell in love. I fell head over heels for Sookie Stackhouse. I'd known her my whole life, had been friends with her and her brother for years since our parents were good friends. When she was thirteen, I was there holding her hand when her parents died. When she was fifteen and distraught over the rejection of the star football player, Bill Compton, I helped her get revenge by saran wrapping his Ford F-250 during a pep rally and using shaving cream on the hood to write, "OWNER OF SMALL DICK."

It was a cheap shot and petty, but it made Sookie feel better. I never noticed how pretty or popular she was until we turned sixteen and she was allowed to date. I remember exactly how it felt when I saw her all dressed up for the Homecoming Dance and on the arm of Sam Merlotte, a mutual friend of ours.

To this day I remember vividly what she looked like. I had arrived early with some friends and was joking around near the band stand. Something made me look over at the entrance and there was she was. She wore this pink floor length gown with flowers in a darker shade of pink embroidered on it. A sheer pink wrap, the same shade as the flowers, covered her arms, but it did not hide how the top of the dress clung to her breasts or how it dipped just low enough to show a hint of cleavage.

Her hair was pulled up in a cascade of curls. She was smiling, laughing actually at something Sam said. In that moment, Sookie was the most beautiful girl in the room. I couldn't see anyone but her. It was like everything I had been waiting for showed itself in that moment. I saw Sookie not as the child I used to play tag with, but as a woman I desired.

I danced with her that night, just once. She had complimented me on my cowboy tux, black wranglers, black boots, a starched white shirt tucked into my jeans with the top two buttons undone, and a black tuxedo jacket with tails. We danced to Reba's song Forever Love and it changed my life. That song remains to be my favorite Reba song because I got to hold Sookie in my arms.

I didn't ask her out right away, mainly because she was dating Sam. That's what I told myself, but the truth was I was scared. This was Sookie, my friend, and I couldn't find her attractive. It was just wrong. That's how I thought, not how I felt. I was your typical high school guy, agonizing over a girl, too afraid to make that first move. It took a discussion with my mother to realize that I could have more than just friends for Sookie and act on them without ruining the friendship.

So six months after my revelation, just before my seventeenth birthday, I asked her out. She said yes. Turned out that she was just as attracted to me as I was to her. We were together for two years before things went bad.

Sookie had always been very goal oriented. She worked hard in school, staying at the top of our class. In our senior year, it got harder as she struggled to make the grades that would get her a full scholarship to LSU so she could study to become a vet. I wasn't that interested in college, but with her pushing me, I applied. My father wanted me to go to college and get a business degree so I could take over the family business. Sookie wanted me to go so we could be together.

I didn't want to go to college. I knew what I wanted. I wanted to go to Nashville, I wanted to sing. The only problem and the only reason I applied to LSU was the simple fact I couldn't afford it. That is, until I got what I had thought was the best news of my life.

_ Dad called me back to his home office. I was a little irritated by the request since I was supposed to be on my way to my band practice then to Sookie's, but I went anyway. I was surprised to see the family lawyer, Mr. Cataliades waiting with my father. Intrigued, I took the seat my father pointed to. "What's going on?"_

_ "Mr. Cataliades is here with some news for you, Alcide," my father said, his voice tense._

_ What kind of news would there be for me that would upset my father? I had to ask. "What kind of news?"_

_ Mr. Cataliades straightened his tie in a nervous gesture and shot my father an uneasy look. "Well, it concerns the trust fund your grandfather left you."_

_ "What about it?"_

_ "The terms regarding the trust can be confusing, but in layman's terms, Alcide, you will gain control of the trust once you graduate from high school," Mr. Cataliades explained in his droll voice._

_ I blinked, not quite understanding what he meant. "What do you mean, gain control of it?"_

_ "Basically, son," my father said with a grimace, "you'll be able to draw on it. Use the money your grandfather left you."_

_ Mr. Cataliades ruffled some papers he held in his hand. "Of course you will be limited to how much you can draw monthly and yearly in total, but you will be able to access the money."_

_ "How much money?" I asked curiously. _

_ He looked at my father then back to me and sighed. He named a four-figure sum. I gaped at him. "Is that yearly, or monthly?"_

_ "Yearly. The trust has garnered some interest and will continue to do so. That interest is held in a separate account to be used whenever you wish. It is not held in the same restraints as the trust itself." Mr. Cataliades had offered me some papers while he spoke and I took them. _

_ I stared down at the papers that detailed how much interest was gained yearly, how much had been accumulated in the last five years. I was astonished by the amount listed. Just what I would get from the interest was more than what I had saved in my bank account. I blinked and looked at the numbers again, just to be sure. I knew my grandfather had left me money, but I had no idea it was this much._

_ "Wow," was all I could think of to say._

_ "What you need to do, son, is invest what you have. By the time you are my age, you'll have yourself a nice little nest egg," Dad said as he stared down at me._

_ I looked at him. I know what he wanted me to do. He'd like me to save the money and go away to college. I knew what I wanted to do. I now had the money to do it. I made my decision without hesitation. "Mr. Cataliades, who do I need to contact about accessing the trust fund?"_

_ "Well, once you graduate, you'd need to come into the office and sign some papers. Once the papers are signed, I can give you the account information and you'll have immediate access," Mr. Cataliades said, his eyes flicking from Dad to me. _

_ "Good, I'll be there after graduation."_

_ "We look forward to seeing you."_

_ "Mr. Cataliades," Dad rose form his seat and offered his hand, "I thank you for coming in today and explaining these things to Alcide. We'll be in touch."_

_ Mr. Cataliades shook my father's hand, then mine. "No trouble at all. It's always a pleasure working with the Herveaux family."_

_ I waited until he had left to turn on my father. "We'll be in touch? What is this we?"_

_ "Alcide, I think before you make any rash decisions, you should consider all your options." Dad spoke calmly but he had that look in his eye that said 'You will do what I tell you and fall in line like a good little boy.'_

_ Too bad I was going to disappoint him. But before I said anything about the plan that was forming in my head, I wanted to know just what my father meant by all options. "What options?"_

_ Dad started rattling things off. "Investing, feeding money back into the company, let it sit and gather interest so you have a nice stockpile to use after college, those options."_

_ "That all sounds interesting, Dad, but I know what I am going to do," I said cheerfully after he finished._

_ "Oh, what is that?"_

_ "I'm going to use the interest gathered to fund my move to Nashville, then I'll use the trust to supplement my income in Nashville when needed," I explained and waited._

_ A hard look came into my father's dark green eyes. "Nashville?"_

_ "Yes," I said helpfully, "Nashville, Tennessee. I've wanted to move there for a _

_while now, to pursue a career in singing and song writing. Thanks to Granddaddy's trust I can actually afford to do it."_

_ "You are going to move…to Nashville…to be a singer?" Dad repeated._

_ I nodded. "And songwriter."_

_ "No, you aren't."_

_ I had been waiting for this, but that still did not prepare me for him actually saying it. I had actually thought, for one moment, that Dad would just support me for once. I shouldn't have wasted the brainpower. "I beg your pardon?"_

_ Dad placed his hands on the desk and leaned forward, pinning me with a piercing glare. "You are not going to run off to Nashville to pursue something as ridiculous as singing. You will not waste the hard earned money your grandfather left you on something so frivolous." _

_ "I don't think of it as frivolous or ridiculous. Neither did Granddaddy, he always supported my singing." I protested._

_ "Obviously your mother and I made a mistake indulging you in that hobby if you really think that you can make a living singing," Dad said tightly and I felt a twisting in my stomach. He went on before I could say anything about singing being more than a hobby to me. "When your grandfather died, we should have discouraged you from playing and singing, but that is our mistake. We'll do our best to correct that in the future."_

_ "Excuse me?" I asked incredulously, "You'll correct it in the future? I hate to tell you, Dad, but you don't exactly have a say in my future. I'm eighteen, I don't answer to you anymore."_

_ "You are a Herveaux, you'll do exactly what you are told."_

_ "The hell I will. I'm not going to just fall into step behind you just because you think I should. I can think for myself and make my own decisions. I'm going to Nashville." I was almost yelling by that point and my hands were clenched into fists at my side._

_ "You've been accepted into LSU and that is where you will go. You will get a degree in business management and architecture. Then you will come home and learn the family business." His voice had gone hard and he was using the tone that said there would be no arguments. _

_ "Screw that. I'm taking the money that Granddaddy left to me and I'm going to do what he'd want me to do, turn something I love into a career." I met his gaze with one of my own. "I have no desire to go into construction. I never have. That's something you've tried to shove down my throat."_

_ Dad sucked in a breath. "I won't have you speaking to me like that. You will show me respect, boy."_

_ "Respect is earned, Dad," I snarled. "Dictating my life is not earning my respect. For once I'm going to do what I want, and not what you want."_

_ "You are being a fool."_

_ "I'd rather be a fool than a lackey. Which is exactly what you are trying to turn me into." I was having a hard time controlling my anger. My father and I never got along, but this was the last straw. "I'm sorry that you disagree with the choices I am making in my life, but it is my life."_

_ "If you move, you will get no help from your mother or I. When you come crawling back with your tail tucked between your legs, don't think that you can come here."_

_ "I wouldn't dream of it," I said tightly. "If this is all?"_

_ "No, it is not all, but clearly you are beyond being rational at the moment. We will discuss this later."_

_ I said nothing, turned on my heel and marched out of the room. My mother was waiting in the hall, obviously drawn by the yelling. She gave me a disapproving look, muttered something about upsetting my father, and went in to calm him down. I was a little hurt by the fact that she couldn't see my side of things. Mama had always encouraged Janice and I to think for ourselves, but when I finally did, she disapproved. Go figure._

_I couldn't stay in the house for another minute longer, so I grabbed my keys and headed out to my truck. Since I didn't care about finals, I didn't really need to study, but I had to see Sookie. She always managed to make things right in my world and right now I needed that. _

_ I drove to her house with Garth Brooks blaring. I drummed my fingers against the steering wheel and tried to sing along, but I was too furious. My father had always been high handed growing up. He never approved of my attachment to singing and playing the guitar, but I guess he just thought it was a stage I would grow out of. I couldn't believe that he actually had the audacity to try and tell me what I'd do with my life. That was going too far, even for him. Now I was more determined than ever to go to Nashville and succeed, if only to throw it back in his face._

_ Friends In Low Places came on and I cranked up the volume. This had to be one of my favorite songs and it went a long way to calming me down. By the time I pulled into Sookie's driveway, I was singing along. Sookie was on her front porch with one of her textbooks in her lap. I should have known she would be studying._

_ Seeing her made up for all the crap I'd have gone through in the last hour. I wasn't even upset about having to miss band practice. I pulled to a stop as she got up. I got out of the truck and watched her approach me. My excitement about being able to move to Nashville was coming back. Sookie and I would make a great life together._

_ She was dressed in a pair of cutoff shorts that skimmed her thighs and a tank top that left her midriff bare. Her long blonde hair had been twisted up and was held back by some clip. Her face was bare of make up and to me she looked more beautiful than ever. Her blue eyes studied me and from the flush that rose on her cheeks, I knew she liked what she saw._

_ There must have been something on my face that gave me away because the first words out of her mouth were, "__What is it, Alcide? Did you get your LSU letter?__"_

_ I was amused by that question, mainly because she would ask me it every single time she saw me. Instead, I just pulled her against me and pressed my lips against hers. I held her tight as I tasted her, groaning just a little when she kissed me back. She tasted like cherries and sunshine. She squirmed against me. It made me want to toss her in my truck and drive off to our spot for a little fun time._

_ Sookie must have been thinking the same thing because she pulled back, her eyes bright and cheeks flushed. "What was that for?"_

_ I grinned at her. "I got the best news, Sookie."_

_ "__Oh!__"__she yelped and started to bounce up and down__, __"__You did get your acceptance letter! Oh __Alcide, I'm so proud of you!__"_

_ "__What?__"__I__ shook __my__ head, __more to clear the image of her perky breasts bouncing in my face__ and put __my__ hands on __her__ shoulders to stop __her__ bouncing. __"__No I haven't gotten the letter yet. I just found out that I get access to that trust my granddaddy left me when I graduate.__"_

_"__Huh?__"_

_"__I get to start using that money he left me,__"__I__ explained, __unable to keep the excitement out of my voice__, __"It's enough to support me for at least a couple years__.__"_

_ "Support you__?__"__she asked, the confusion clear on her face and in her voice. _

_ I couldn't stop grinning as I explained. I knew that Sookie would be excited for me. She'd always supported my singing and this would be no different. I picked her up and spun her around. "Nashville, baby, Nashville!"_

_ Sookie wrapped her arms around me but she didn't seem excited. Instead she was just confused and tense. "I don't understand. What is in Nashville when you applied to LSU?"_

_ "__I only did that because Dad was insisting I go to college. Now because the trust is finally available to me, I don't have to go to college. I can go straight to Nashville and start trying to get famous on my music,__" I said as I put her down. Just thinking about my dad's reaction had my anger surging back to life. I looked at Sookie, needing to see her excitement and support. Instead, she was staring at me in shock._

_ "__What?__"__She screeched it__. __"__I thought you wanted to go to college to be with me, Alcide! What is this nonsense about going to Nashville, you never said anything about it before.__"_

_ I hadn't said anything before because I didn't think it was possible. What was the point of talking about something that was never going to happen? I felt a sting of hurt when she called it nonsense. It wasn't exactly the reaction I had been hoping for. "__I didn't have a reason to mention it before, Sookie. I didn't think I'd be able to do it, since my father was so against it __the one time I mentioned it to him__. And it isn't nonsense, it's what I want to do with my life.__"_

_ Sookie looked like she was going to cry and that had me panicking. I hated it when Sookie cried, I never knew what to do. "__I thought you wanted to go to college with me. If that is something you wanted to do with your life, don't you think you should have at least mentioned it in passing to me, you know, your girlfriend.__"_

_ That had me wincing and looking away with shame. I had thought once or twice of talking to Sookie about it, but when you think you won't ever get to realize your dreams, it hurt to talk about it. Knowing what Sookie wanted to do with her life, I had even gone as far once, earlier this year, to research different __veterinary __schools around Nashville for her. I'd found out that the University of Tennessee had one. _

_ "__Sookie, I just didn't think that it was important, that was all.__"_

_ "__Wrong answer, Alcide! It was important enough that you are all excited about getting money to do it,__"__she paused, and this sick, horrified expression crossed her face__, __"__Wait, do you mean that you aren't going to go to LSU with me? That you are going to go to Nashville now?__"_

_ What else did she think it meant? It wasn't like LSU and Nashville were next door. Then I realized that she was wanting to know if planned to go right away or after college. I nodded. "After graduation."_

_ Sookie closed her eyes and staggered. Quicker than I thought I could move, I had her scooped up in my arms and cradled against me. She buried her head in my chest and for once, I wasn't aroused by her closeness. I was worried that something was wrong. She spoke, I felt her lips move against my shirt and I tilted my head down to hear her. "What about me?"_

_ I frowned at that and carried her to the porch. I sat down and held her close to me as I stroked her hair. She still hadn't looked up at me and I realized that she really thought I'd leave her. I smiled at her as I tucked a lock of hair back behind her ear. "Silly, you can come with me."_

_ There was a sniff. "No I can't. I'm getting a scholarship to LSU. They have a veterinary school."_

_ "I looked into things before I came over here, Sookie. The University of Tennessee in Knoxville has a vet school too." Okay, technically I had looked into it months ago, but it was before I came over here today. Surely that didn't count as a lie, did it?_

_ She looked up enough to give me a withering 'Don't you know anything?' look. "__Knoxville is almost three hours from Nashville, that isn't going to be with you.__"_

_ I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at her because I knew it would not help the situation. Instead I just shrugged. "__So, we'll be a day drive apart, we can work things out.__"_

_ I really didn't know what she was getting worked up over. One vet school was the same as the other, wasn't it? I would have thought she'd leap at the chance to get out of Louisiana. Each of us had spent our fair share of time bitching about being stuck here._

_ Sookie stiffened in my arms and pulled away from me. I looked at her in surprise and saw hot anger in her eyes. Anger turned her blue eyes darker and it had always been a turn on for me, except now, when the anger was directed at me. _

_ "__No, we won't. For one thing, I didn't get a full ride scholarship to the university in Tennessee, I got offered one from LSU. For another, I don't want to leave Louisiana, I like it here. I want to be close to my Gran. For another, well, it's just insane to want to go to Nashville. It's a stupid risk.__"_

_ Now I was the one who went tense. She had more or less repeated what my father had said to me. I couldn't believe that she was saying that, that she was dismissing something she knew that I loved. It hadn't hurt when my father did it, since he never believed in me. But this was Sookie, and she had never wavered in her support. The pain I felt at her words was like having an arm cut off._

_ "__It isn't a stupid risk, it's my dream. You know that I love singing and songwriting. I have for years. I want to take this chance to go and try and make a career out of it.__" I felt disgusted that I had to explain it to her. After all we'd been together for two years, and I had to explain to Sookie why I wanted to go to Nashville. _

_ "__So come to college, major in music,__"__she __said harshly, __"__You know you don't have to leave me to make it your career.__"_

_ I couldn't help but to think that she was making this all about her. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. We weren't supposed to be fighting. We were supposed to be celebrating. I was even more hurt that Sookie would think that I was leaving her. Besides, she knew I didn't want to go to college for music. It wasn't my kind of thing._

_ "__Hey now, I wanted you to come with me. You are the one being stubborn and refusing to go. And I don't want a major in music. That won't help me be a country music star. That's what I want. The only way to get that is to go to Nashville and try for a record deal.__" I should have just kept my mouth shut because things snowballed from there._

_ "__I'm not being stubborn!__"__Sookie __shouted and jumped to __her__ feet. __"__You are the one being stubborn. I have to go to LSU, it's the only college that gave me a scholarship that meets my needs to be a vet!__"_

_ This was starting to piss me off. She really was making it all about her. I had told her about the school in Tennessee and she could easily apply for a late scholarship or a grant. "__The University of-__"_

_ Of course she didn't let me finish. She was on her feet and screaming at me. "__I am NOT going to some stupid university in Tennessee just because you want to go to Nashville. I'm going to go give up what I've worked so hard on just so you can go on and on about some silly dream!__"_

_ I literally saw red then. The nerve of her labeling my career choice as a silly dream was mind boggling. I had never once belittled her desire to be a vet. I stood by her and encouraged her and did everything I could to support her. I suffered through her nagging about finals every year, her neurotic tendencies to freak out before we got our grades back, her single mindedness this year when it came to colleges. I had applied to a fucking college for her, because it was what she wanted. _

_ I got to my feet slowly in an attempt to control my growing temper. I leaned close to her and said, my voice laced with sarcasm, "Oh, and being a vet isn't a silly dream?"_

_ I had aimed true and she flinched slightly. I was glad and horrified with myself when I saw the hurt in her eyes. I was almost ready to apologize and take my words back, if possible, when she opened her mouth again. "__No it isn't. It's a well respected career and one I've given a lot of thought to. Unlike your stupid career choice.__"_

_ Any thoughts of apologizing were gone in a flash. I took it from my father, because he really couldn't hurt me with his words. I didn't care much for his opinion. But I would not take this from Sookie, not when she meant so much to me. I wouldn't let her try and force me to follow her chosen path and disregard mine. If I wouldn't let Dad do it, I couldn't let Sookie do it._

_ "__I've given this as much thought as you've give yours, Sookie. Don't sit there and belittle my dream just because you are so...so...snobby!__"_

_ "__SNOBBY? I'm snobby? Well at least I'm not delusional! I thought you loved me, Alcide Herveaux! But it was just a lie since you are oh so willing to just run off and dismiss all we have!__"__she __screamed in __my__ face. Tears of anger and pain were rolling __down Sookie's face by now but I was too pissed to care._

_ Hell I wanted to cry too. I had come here looking for love and support and all I had gotten was anger and derision. I was taken aback by her accusation that I didn't love her just because I had a different dream than her. I couldn't believe that she would turn that around on me. It made me doubt her feelings for me. Just the thought of Sookie not loving me was enough to cut me off at the knees. I loved her more than anything and to have her doubt that because of one disagreement was crippling._

_ I focused on my own anger to prevent myself from crying. I wouldn't show that kind of weakness in front of her, not now. "__I do love you, Sookie. But maybe it is you who doesn't love me because you aren't willing to go to an alternative school that offers all LSU does. You are just __being __a selfish bitch.__"_

_ Her gasp and pale face clued me in that maybe I had gone to far. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, FUCK. I stepped towards her, contrite, and held my hands out to her. "__Jesus, Sookie, I didn't mean that. I just thought that you'd be happy for me. I already had this fight with Dad and I didn't expect it from you.__"_

_ "__Well maybe,__" she__ said coldly as __she__ stepped back to avoid __my__ touch, __"__if you had told me before, when we were talking about college and careers and what we wanted to do after graduation, we wouldn't have had this fight. Maybe if you had cared enough about me to share your feelings, like people in love do, I would have been more understanding__."_

_ Each word was salt being poured into an already gaping wound. I couldn't keep the pain I felt off my face and Sookie seemed enjoy that pain, which I really couldn't understand, not completely. If she was looking for a way to get back at me for dropping this bomb on her, she'd succeeded._

_ "__I can't stand to look at you. Get out of here. I don't ever want to see you again,__" she said it flatly._

_ I didn't know what to think. My mind had gone completely blank. Was she really saying what I thought she was? Just because we had one disagreement? Surely she wouldn't let this tear us apart, not when we could work through it, once we calmed down. I had to swallow hard before I could speak. __"__You don't mean that, I know you don't.__"_

_ "__Do you really mean to go to Nashville after graduation?__"__Sookie asked me in such a small voice I wasn't sure it was really hers. She had a look of hope on her face, a wishful gleam in her eye._

_ It would be so easy to say no, to tell her that I wouldn't do it. It would fix everything. She would be happy again. We would be a happy couple. But I would be completely miserable. I would have gone against everything my Granddaddy had taught me. I would be turning my back on my own dreams and desires, just to keep her. I couldn't do it. I couldn't give up everything for Sookie, not when there were other options. It broke my heart to say it, knowing how she would react, but I said, "__Yes I do. I won't give this up. I've wanted it for too long.__"_

_ I saw it in her eyes, the moment she realized that I was telling the truth. Something shattered in her and I could see it all just by staring into the blue eyes I loved so much. Her voice wobbled, as if she __couldn't control it. "__Then I meant it. I'm done with you! I hate you, Alcide, I hate you!__"_

_ She turned and fled inside the house. I took a step up the porch when I heard the lock slide into place. She had really meant it. She was locking me out of her life. Suddenly, going to Nashville didn't seem that grand, not when it cost me the one person I loved in the world. As I walked to my truck, tears stinging my eyes, I wondered if it was worth it._

Looking back, I know I should have shared with her just how much I felt about music, should have told her that I'd been wanting to go to Nashville since I was eleven. I had just been so sure that we'd be able to work things out that I never considered telling her.

When I left Bon Temps, I had to make myself forget about Sookie Stackhouse. I wouldn't, couldn't let my memories of her distract me. Of course it did. Every day that passed I thought of her, thought of what we could have been. The first year was the hardest. Between struggling to write my songs and forget about Sookie, I didn't make much progress.

Four years came and went, and I was beginning to think that maybe I had been wrong and this wasn't the life for me. I can't count the number of times I had been turned down by record labels. I gave myself another year, and then I'd return to Bon Temps to see what kind of life I could make there. I heard in one of the bars I played at that failure can make you delusional.

I got the call five years after leaving Bon Temps. When the number to Sookie's old house showed up on my caller ID, I felt hope bloom in my chest. I answered it, assuming it was Sookie, but it was Jason. Gran had died. I went back to Bon Temps that one time. It was the first time I'd come back, and until now, my last visit.

After that visit, the funeral, and my encounter with Sookie, I came back to Nashville. Everything I had felt in those three days spilled out of me in the form of a song. It had been my ticket to stardom. Living with Regrets topped the country charts and in my first year, it won video of the year.

Five years I'd been riding the wave of success. Song after song dominated the country music charts. I toured with Brad Paisley, Sugarland, and Carrie Underwood. Then came the big one, my own headlining tour. I have yet to get over the sensation of headlining.

Now I was back in Louisiana, the end of my Returning To Roots tour. I was ending my successful tour in the area that started it all. The Shreveport concert sold out hours after tickets went on sale. When my agent was working on the city line up for my tour, I had to insist that Shreveport be last. I wanted to end this tour where it all began. Shreveport was the closest I could get to Bon Temps.

The tour was a blast, but a hardship at the same time. They never tell you when you dream of being famous of how much it can drain you. All the traveling, the constant singing. The fans who were insane, almost rabid in their attempts to get to you. I couldn't count how many pairs of panties and bras had been thrown up on the stage by women. Hell, even some men. It was a blast, and despite my weariness, I loved every minute of it. This is what I had sacrificed my happy ever after with Sookie and some days, it was almost worth it.

I listened intently as my opening act finished up and came off stage. I greeted them with smiles and claps on the back, and the much needed job well done. I had been them once. In fact, they had been me just a few years ago. I could understand how they were feeling now.

One of the stage hands waved towards me and I headed off under the stage, taking my place on the little platform that would rise up in the center of the stage. It was too showy for me, but my manager thought it was very 'now' and well, the crowds did like it when I appeared in a cloud of smoke.

I could hear the band starting and I adjusted my hold on my guitar and waited for the platform to rise. As it did, I could hear the chanting and clapping of the fans and like always, it was a thrill. Country music fans really were the best in the business. Every night was like the first time. You never forgot your first time.

The platform came to a stuttering halt and there they were. This crowd meant more for me than any other crowd, because these were my people. This was what this tour had been about. It was all about coming back to where it started, returning to your roots. To see all those people out there, knowing that I was one of them, knowing that they came out to support one of their own, it meant more than any award could. This is why I did what I did.

I scanned the crowd as I let my fingers dance across the strings of my guitar. I sang automatically as I always did during the first song. I always used one of my faster songs to open up a show, because it got the blood pumping and set the tone for the entire show. As I sang and moved across the stage, I saw a glint of gold down in the front row.

It made my heart stop and I almost forgot the words to the song I was singing. It couldn't be. It just couldn't. I was seeing things because I wanted it so much. I made my way back down the stage so I had a better view. Thanks to the smoke and the lights, it was hard to tell where I was looking, I could have been looking anywhere.

But my eyes were glued to two women in the front row who were dancing to the music. One of them was a brunette that tugged at my memories. But it was her companion that had my full attention. There was no mistaking that shade of blonde, those soft curves that filled out the body. My last memory of Sookie Stackhouse had been a heartsick and broken woman. Now I was seeing her again, a beautiful and mature woman who held herself with grace and beauty. She had come…to see me.

**Author's Notes: So...what did you think? Next chapter picks up where this one left off and details more of Alcide and Sookie coming face to face backstage. I promise, no more backtracking. It's all forward from here on out! Leave a review! Chances are high that I'll respond. Thanks for reading.**


	5. When You Kiss Me

**Author's Notes: What's this? An update when the story just updated yesterday? Certainly looks that way. This is a celebratory update. See, I HAVE A JOB! That's right, after more than a year unemployed I am going back to my old job where I take care of my paraplegic uncle. It's only on weekends, but IT'S A JOB! Um, enough celebrating. Three cheers to LindsayK (psst, it's her birthday today) for being an amazing beta and sounding board. I luffles her! Um, tissue warning is in effect. This is probably a level three tissue warning. It backtracks slightly, but I'm sure once you read it you will understand why it does.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SVM or the characters. If I did, I would so have Alcide drive me to my grandma's. **

**It's Your Song**

**Chapter Five**

_When you kiss me, I know you miss me and when you're with me the world just goes away._

_~When You Kiss Me by Shania Twain_

**APOV**

If it hadn't been for the beat of the music around me, I would have jumped off the stage to confront Sookie. It was the music that reminded me that I had a job to do. Unless I wanted to make the tabloids, I had to keep my ass on stage. I had to pretend I didn't notice her, which was...trying, to say the least. Every love song I sang I had to fight the urge to look at her.

It was almost as if I moved and performed on auto-pilot. The energy was there, but it was like I didn't know what I was doing. It was one of those 'you are there but you really aren't' moments. If you asked me what songs I sang, in what order, I wouldn't be able to tell you.

The only person who noticed my lack of focus was John Quinn, guitarist for the band, and my best man friend. Band members came and went, but Quinn remained. I met him one night eight years ago at a club that did a open mike night. I had gone to sing a song I had written, just to see what kind of response it would get. After I finished, this cowboy swaggered up to me and told me that it fucking sucked but I had potential.

I had been taken back by the brutal honesty of his words and then shocked as hell when he clapped a hand on my back and said he'd buy me a drink and tell me where I went wrong. He was a big guy, a few inches taller than my own six feet. He was dark skinned and his head had been shaved bald and was covered in white cowboy hat. And he was built, like linebacker built.

He introduced himself as John Quinn, guitar player and song writer. That was all they wrote. We started meeting a few days a week, working on songs. I found out very quickly that Quinn was gay and made no qualms about it. He was brutally honest and blunt and had no trouble telling me that I fucked up that shit bad with Sookie, who he learned about a few months after we met. He became one of my closest friends in Nashville and when I wrote my first hit song, his words after listening to it was, "Now that's what I'm talking about, that's putting your heart into your music. Fucking A, we have a winner."

When the studio put together my band, since I was more of a solo artist, I insisted on Quinn being one of the guitarists. Five years and many drummers, bassists, and fiddlers later, Quinn and I were still riding the wave together.

When we paused for the first break, Quinn joined me as I gulped down water. "Alright, jackass, you wanna tell me what the hell has you dancing around that stage like you got ants in your pants?"

I rotated my head and felt several pops in my neck. "Sookie is out there."

"You are fucking with me." Ever the wordsmith, that Quinn. I was glad that we weren't near any mics where his mouth could be picked up.

I shook out my arms and rolled my shoulders to relieve some of the tension. "Nope. Front row, center. With the smoking brunette."

Quinn walked away from me. Since I had no freaking idea what he was doing, I was surprised when he came back and said, "I got a look at her. There's been a change in the play list. You are doing Living With Regrets now."

I almost fumbled my water bottle. "What? Why?"

Quinn smirked. "Trust me. I've got them bringing out a stool for you, right in front of her."

Oh shit. When I glared at him, he just gave a low chuckle and took the bottle from me. "Go sing to your woman."

I glared at him some more. "I can't believe you did that."

"You going to tell me that you didn't write that song for her? That you don't see some kind of justice in being able to sing it to her tonight when you've been off your rocker wondering if she'd show up at this concert? Lie to me all you want, brother, but have the balls not to lie to yourself."

He passed the water back to me and walked off. I finished off the water and grabbed my acoustic guitar. The stool and a mic stand were waiting for me and I took my place on the stool and lowered the mic. I looked out at the crowd and tried not to look at Sookie. I could feel the weight of her eyes on me.

I drew in a deep breath and knew, simply knew without a doubt that this would be my best rendition of this song because she was watching. I would be able to sing it as it was truly meant to be sang. As a tribute to what we had and lost.

I spoke into the mic, "Now this song is pretty special to me, as it was my first number one hit."

I hooked one foot on the bottom rung of the stool and balanced my guitar on my knee. I ran my fingers over the strings, playing the refrain of the song. That's when I looked up and at Sookie. Through the lights and smoke, I saw her blue eyes boring into me. It was a miracle that no one could feel the zing of heat that passed between us. Her lips parted and I saw her chest heave in a quick breath when I didn't look away. Every emotion I felt towards her flashed in my eyes.

"I wrote this song after a moment in my life that I never forgot and never stopped regretting. It is more than just a number one hit to me, it is a story of my life." It was a representation of my feelings for Sookie, but I couldn't say that out loud.

I began to play and to sing. The words spilled out of me in a way they never had before. I never thought it was possible to feed your feelings into a song like that. The crowded arena disappeared and all I could see was Sookie. Her body swayed with the music and her friend had one arm around her shoulder, a silent show of support or actually physically supporting Sookie.

I wrote Living with Regrets with Sookie in mind. The second time I left her, well I hadn't left her, she left me. But after that night of passion that was entangled with grief and despair, I realized that I had been very young and stupid when we broke up. I had been so wrapped up in my own pride that I failed to see that Sookie had been scared of losing me. I walked out of her life then as easily as she walked out of the old farmhouse in Bon Temps five years ago.

I never stopped regretting that I didn't tell her I still cared, that I still loved her. I never got to tell her how sorry I was for the mistakes I had made when I was a teen. I put all that into my song, transforming my experience into something to share with the masses.

My fingers slowed over the strings and I lowered my voice, knowing that the softer sound would have more impact. I looked at Sookie and sang, " Living with regrets, oh it tears you up inside. It's like trying to catch your breath and never seeing the light. It's trying to be whole again, but a huge piece of you is gone. Living with regrets, is living without you."

I saw her eyes begin to sparkle and I knew it was from tears. They made their way slowly down her cheeks as I sang the second verse. It almost broke me when I sang of how I felt when I lost her the second time. She might have walked away from me, but I could have gone after her, I could have called. I hadn't manned up and I lost her a second time. That was what the second verse was all about.

I sang the chorus again, the same haunting melody with my eyes on her. I couldn't prevent what I was feeling from showing in my eyes, so I looked at her, knowing she'd see and understand. My fingers flew over the strings as I built up to the final refrain. I let the sound die away in the end, my voice barely a whisper that carried thanks to the mic, "Living with regrets…is living without you."

I watched her and I waited. The entire arena was silent. I don't think that anyone expected to hear that song performed in such an open and emotional way. Sookie kept looking at me, the tears falling uncontrollably down her face. I couldn't tell what she was thinking exactly, just that she had felt and understood what I was trying to convey. I had to fight the urge to toss down the guitar and jump off the stage and just go to her. Even as I considered it, the applause sounded. She blinked and whatever it was that passed between us was gone, just like that.

I saw her out of the corner of my eye as I turned to switch guitars and she was looking away from me. I kept my head down as I grabbed another guitar, unsure if I could control my face or the desire to go to her. Quinn shot me a concerned look and I just gave the tiniest shake of my head. As I grabbed the steel guitar, I forced my face into something that didn't scream heartache and gave the crowd a wink. "I guess being back in my home state is making me perform better. Wouldn't want to let my people down."

They laughed, which had been the plan, and cheered when I went into the opening of the cover I did of Garth Brooks' song, Ain't Goin' Down Until The Sun Comes Up. It was fast, and demanding, and the complete opposite of what I had just sang. It bumped up the excitement and gave everyone a chance to regroup from the last song.

I made it through the rest of the concert without any screw-ups. I was professional enough that I did not let my personal feelings affect how I performed. I doubt anyone knew how conflicted I was by the way I sang and worked my way up and down the stage. When I finally ended the concert with an unreleased song from my new album, I was exhausted.

Quinn met me backstage and hustled me to my dressing room. All I wanted to do was collapse on a flat surface with a glass of Jim Bean, but I knew my performance for the night wasn't over with. There were the meet and greets to do with some local radio personalities, and of course, meeting the people who had won backstage passes.

I had taken the time to slip into the bathroom between meetings. I contemplated skipping the last meeting with the final two people with backstage passes. I wanted out of here, now. I had too much to think on. Seeing Sookie again, it had opened up my eyes, and heart, to a lot of things. I had buried my feelings for her and they were starting to resurface. I didn't know what I'd do about them, but I wanted time to think on them. I heard the door to the outside room open and the DJ that was waiting introduce himself to the lucky winners. Too late to back out now.

I snagged a towel and rubbed it over my face. Then with the towel in hand—maybe I could sign it and get these people out of here quicker—I opened the door. I froze completely and my brain shut down on me. Standing there, looking nervous as hell and clutching a brunette's hand was Sookie.

Eyes shifted to me as I breathed, "Sookie."

There was no way to keep the shock out of my eyes or off my face. I couldn't look away from her, she was a magnet drawing me in. There was a quick intake of breath and those blue eyes I loved so much were staring at me. "Hello, Alcide, it's been a long time."

Five years. The longest five years of my life. Just like that I was flashing back to each time we had held hands, kissed, made love. The cozy afternoon snuggled under a homemade quilt watching old black and white movies. The smoke filled evenings at the local bar where I played and she watched. Rainy mornings inside my truck before school, making out like we'd never touch again.

When I said nothing, Quinn gave a short laugh. "Excuse him ladies, he's always like this after a concert."

I wasn't but I wouldn't argue. I was too busy trying to get my brain back into the here and now, and out of the past. I tossed the towel onto the sink and stepped fully into the dressing room. Stan the DJ was looking between Sookie and I, his eyes wide with speculation.

"I'm sorry, Alcide, but do you know this charming young woman?"

I flicked my eyes towards him briefly as Sookie gave an uneasy laugh. It was Sookie that answered. "Actually, Alcide and I went to school together, we were in the same class."

Stan's eyes brightened. "What an amazing coincidence!"

I finally found my voice. "Yeah, amazing. Say, didn't you want to get some pictures?"

"If Amelia and Sookie don't mind, we'd love to get some pictures. Then we can get out of your hair and let the two of catch up on what you've been doing over the years, though with you Alcide, that's obvious."

Sookie looked at Amelia with a look of panic and Amelia gave Stan a bright smile. "Actually, can we just skip the pictures? See, I've got this issue with an ex and I'd hate for him to stumble across my picture on your website. It could cause all kinds of trouble."

She was lying. I could tell by the way her eyes cheated over to Sookie when she spoke. But Stan fell for it hook, line, and sinker. He made some sympathetic noises and thanked me again for something I didn't even really hear. Something about the honor of letting his radio station sponsor the concert. Not that I had any clue about that, my manager and studio handled all the promotional stuff. I shook hands with him, Quinn shook hands with him, he congratulated Amelia again on winning, made some suitable remark to Sookie, and then he was gone.

Everyone else had cleared out of the room until it was just Sookie, Amelia, Quinn, and myself. Sookie shifted closer to Amelia as she stared at me and that one little movement broke something in me. I didn't know if she was just nervous or scared to see me.

Amelia glanced at Sookie then to me. "So, Alcide, what is it like being a country mega-star?"

"Well," I said slowly looking at her, "pretty much the same as a regular person, except for the fans."

Amelia laughed. "Somehow I doubt that. You were great out there tonight. I enjoyed the show."

"Me too." Sookie had finally spoke and her voice was the same as I remembered it. Soft and sweet.

"I'm glad you came," I said honestly.

Sookie's face turned pink and Amelia snickered. "I had to drag her."

"Meelz!" Sookie cried as the pink turned into full blown red.

At that point, Quinn chuckled and the women looked to him. "Alcide was a big bundle of nerves, hoping you would come, Sookie." He jerked a finger at me. "He was almost hard to live with."

"Quinn!" I hissed, sounding very much like Sookie.

Amelia shook her head. "What are we going to do with these two?"

Quinn flashed her a cocky grin. "Why don't you and I head out to the tour bus, I'm sure that the boys have broke out the whiskey. We can go have ourselves a drink while the lovebirds talk."

I was going to strangle him with his own guitar strings the first chance I got. Sookie was looking down at the ground but I thought I could see the hint of a smile teasing her lips. Obviously she wasn't offended by the lovebirds remark, which I took as a very good thing.

Amelia slid her arm through Quinn's. "I think that sounds like a wonderful idea. Sookie, text me when you are ready to go home."

Before Sookie or I could protest, the two people we called friends were out the door, Quinn shutting it firmly behind him. Sookie and I were alone and the silence stretched like a cord between us. I had no idea what to say to her, so I just looked at her, memorizing her every feature. If I was never going to see her after this, I wanted to have every inch of her imprinted in my mind.

The last time I had seen her, her face had been flushed with pleasure that masked her grief over Gran. Now it had fleshed out enough, all soft edges and full lips. Impossibly blue eyes that were incapable of hiding her feelings. She had grown her hair out and it was pulled back in a complicated looking braid with wispy tendrils that framed her face. Her body was curvier, more mature, and I wondered if her skin felt different now.

There was about six feet between us, but it felt like sixty. I had never been that close to her and not been holding her or touching her. My fingers itched to touch her and it was only self-control that had me holding back from closing the distance between us.

There was a look of caution and yearning on her face and I knew she felt the same as I did. My voice cracked when I said, "Do you know how hard it is to stand here and not touch you?"

Sookie jumped as if I fired a gun. Then she gave me a helpless look. "Yes."

"Even after all this time, you still have the same affect on me. You look beautiful. I've missed you, Kitten." I used my old name for her and she looked like she wanted to run, and I couldn't let her do that, not yet. "You have no idea how much I've missed you."

Her mouth opened and closed as if she was going to say something but changed her mind. Her hands smoothed down her skirt nervously and I followed them, remembering when it had been my hands caressing down her stomach and thighs. When she made a small noise I looked up to see her staring at me with hunger in her eyes.

She said in a breathless voice, "Oh I do, believe me I do." Her hands clenched at her sides, as if she was trying to stop herself from doing something. "Alcide, that song…"

She paused as she tried to find the right words. I knew what she was trying to ask so I said, "It's about you, me, us."

Sookie sucked in a breath and released it slowly. "I knew that, but I had to ask."

"There isn't one word of that song that isn't true, Sookie. What made that song a success was that it was real. It was real to me, it was the truth." I looked away for a brief second, "If we hadn't spent that night together after Gran's funeral, I never would have wrote it. It's really more your song than mine."

I looked back in time to see something like pain flash through Sookie's eyes, pain and regrets. I figured it had something to do with me mentioning Gran and I swore. "Shit, Sookie, I didn't mean it like that. I didn't mean to bring up Gran-"

She held up her hand to stop me from talking. "It's alright, Alcide, I know what you meant. I understand it all too well. I have my own regrets about that night and all that followed."

I wished desperately for a bottle of Jack. I hadn't expected to have this conversation with her so soon. If Sookie hadn't shown up tonight, I would have stayed in Shreveport and searched her out in Bon Temps. I had made the decision to see her and try to fix things between us long before we arrived in Shreveport. I sincerely hoped that she hadn't married or wasn't dating anyone. I'd hate to make the headlines as 'Country Singer Murders Old Ex's Husband/Boyfriend in a Fit of Uncontrolled Jealously.'

I glanced down at her hand and saw the lack of wedding ring. My inner demon did a little dance. A boyfriend was easier to get rid of than a husband. I took several steps forward and held my hand out to her. She looked at it like it was a snake getting ready to strike. I could have just closed the distance and took her in my arms, but for some reason, I wanted her to meet me halfway. I had to know if what I was seeing in her, the hesitation, the hungry desire and want, was real or just all in my head. Sookie had a high moral standard, no matter what her feelings for me, if she was seeing someone, she wouldn't put herself in the situation that would compromise those standards.

She hesitated so long that I was starting to think that she was seeing someone, then like magic she took a few steps forward and placed her hand in mine. It looked so dainty in my big hand and there was a jolt when her flesh touched mine that went all the way to my toes. Her fingers entwined with mine and we just stared at each other.

I had almost forgotten how easy it was to lose myself in those blue eyes. It was like staring into the ocean, or something equally poetic. For the first time, my skill with words failed me and I could say nothing. Sookie looked at a loss for words as well. The silence hung between us, each of us too afraid to speak and break the moment.

I don't know who moved first. One minute we were gazing at each other and the next she was pressed against me, rising on her tiptoes to meet my lips. We kissed, hands clasped between us, and it was as if the time apart never happened.

Our bodies remembered what it was like to be together. Sookie still tasted of vanilla and cherries, her lips still felt like silk beneath mine. There was a gasp and a moan as her lips parted and my tongue slid over her lips. There was a whimper and one arm went around her waist to hold her closer, the other hand slid into her hair. Her arms were wrapped around my neck and I knew if I wanted I could have her then. I slid the hand on her back up under her shirt and stroked down the line of her back.

I kissed her like it was the last kiss we'd ever share. I breathed her scent in deep. Her hips rocked against mine and there was no hiding my erection. I don't know if it was the sensation of my fingertips dipping below the waistband of her skirt, or the feel of my erection against her, but Sookie pulled back with a cry. I was so startled that she broke free of my hold and stared at me. She was panting, her hands covering her mouth.

When I took a step towards her, she held up her hand and slapped my chest. "No, no! I can't," she shook her head and fought back a sob. "I can't do this. I'm sorry, Alcide, but I can't. Not now. I have to go."

She whirled, and I was left staring at the door as she disappeared through it.

What the hell just happened here? I was still staring at the empty door and breathing hard as I tried to make myself understand how we could have been eating each other alive one minute and the next she was gone when Quinn showed up in the doorway.

He had a bottle of Jack in one hand, and two tumblers in the other. He entered the room and kicked the door shut without saying a word. It was only after he filled the two tumblers with Jack and handed me one, that he asked, "What in the seven hells happened between you two? Sookie showed up at the tour bus like a fucking ghost had taken her over and hauled Amelia off."

I took the tumbler and tossed it back. The whiskey was a fine burn that chased away Sookie's taste. As much as I wanted to keep that with me, the rejection was a slap I wanted to erase. Coming here had been a huge mistake, kissing her again had been a massive blip on the radar. Her reaction could only mean one thing. She was seeing someone. The Jack settled in my stomach with a sick twist. I held the tumbler out for more.

As he filled it, I said, "We talked and then we kissed. Then she just pulled away and ran off. I have no fucking clue what happened."

Quinn whistled and sipped his own whiskey. "Something spooked that filly."

"Gee, you fucking think?" I snarled as I tossed back the second shot of whiskey.

"Settle down, cowboy, I'm just trying to figure out what happened," Quinn said steadily as he filled the tumbler again.

He had the right idea. I wanted to get shit-faced drunk and forget this ever happened. "I can tell you what happened. Sookie is seeing someone."

Quinn fumbled the bottle and I caught it before it could slip through his fingers and hit the ground. His eyes were wide with disbelief and shock. "What the fuck makes you say that."

I shrugged and took a pull directly from the bottle. "Because that's the kind of woman she is. If she's seeing someone, she wouldn't be able to live with herself for kissing me, and the way things were going, it would have been more than kissing. It would tear her up. Fuck."

I raised the bottle again and Quinn snatched it from me. "Hell no, Alcide. You are not going to get drunk here. Come on, we'll get your fancy ass driver to take us to your fancy ass hotel and you can get drunk there and pass out in the fancy ass bathroom."

He capped the bottle and tucked it into the duffel bag in the corner before shouldering it. Since I already had enough whiskey in me to be slightly unsteady on my feet, he swung an arm around my back and helped me to the limo that was waiting. As I stumbled into it, I paused and looked up at him, not bothering to hide the pain in my eyes. "I can't handle it again, Quinn. I can't. Fuck, I can't lose her again."

Quinn nudged me back and slid in next to me. "Just relax, buddy, we'll find out what's the truth. Don't go crying end of the world until you have all the facts."

"Fuck me, I'm a fucking pussy. I should have stopped her," I mumbled under my breath as the limo took off.

"That's right, let's get this part of the pity party over," Quinn said, "Then when are done kicking your own ass, we can plot your next step."

"Fuck you," I snapped and dug the bottle out of the bag. I didn't care what he said about not getting drunk until we hit the room. I wanted the whiskey and I wanted it now. I wanted to drown out the pain and fear I saw in Sookie's eyes just before she took off. Jack and I were fixing to become best buddies.

**Author's Notes: Gosh darnit, why did Sookie have to go and run? Well, I know why but still. And OMG THEY KISSED! Alright, I just want to say that this story has a faster pace, so far, than my other two. It's just the way it flowed when I wrote it. Things will slow down, but there are some things that have to happen before the real fun can begin. I figure things will slow down around chapter ten. Mmk I'm going now. I hope to come home on Sunday to bunches of reviews in my inbox. Thanks for reading!**


	6. When I Close My Eyes

**Author's Notes: To those who can't wait to see what happens when Alcide finds out about Justin, well this chapter is for you! Thanks to LindsayK for beta'ing and being my sounding board. And on with the show.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SVM or the characters. I do however like to torture them emotionally.**

**It's Your Song**

**Chapter Six**

_When I close my eyes you're all I see, in the dark of night you're in my dreams_

_~When I Close My Eyes by Kenny Chesney_

**SPOV**

When I dragged Amelia out of the tour bus, I hadn't realized that she actually had some drinks. Since I was stone cold sober, I took the keys from her and drove us home. Thankfully Amelia realized that something was up and stayed silent. I don't know if I could have handled all her questions. I was too shaken to think clearly, let alone give her a coherent answer as to why I dragged her away from what looked to be a damn good party.

The headlights cut across the inky blackness of the night. My eyes were on the road and I was driving on auto-pilot because my mind was back in that dressing room with Alcide. I shouldn't have run. I don't know why I did, except that I just panicked.

I thought that I had been ready to see him.

I thought that I could control myself.

I had never been so wrong in my life.

Seeing him, being in the same room as him, it was like a rubber band stretched too tight. Each breath was a struggle to pull into my lungs. I felt numb all over as I stared into his deep green eyes. When Alcide questioned the DJ about pictures, I felt a moment of panic. I did not want my picture next to Alcide's.

Too many people in Bon Temps were more than willing to buy anything with Alcide's picture in it since he was a hometown boy. If people saw him next to me, it would be all too easy for them to put the pieces together and figure out who Justin's father was. The last thing I needed was someone figuring it out and telling Alcide. He still had friends in Bon Temps. I would tell Alcide about Justin when the time was right. He needed to hear it from me, not a friend.

The banter between Amelia and John Quinn had been amusing, enough to shake me out of my shock a little bit. I didn't know whether to be upset when Amelia bailed or grateful. Being alone, truly alone, with Alcide had been disastrous in the long run.

At first I had been a little stunned by the turn of events and could only stare helplessly at Alcide. We were both silent and I did not want to be the one to break the silence. So I just looked at him, drinking in the sight of him after so many years. Seeing him on the television or in pictures just wasn't enough.

He was still tall, though I doubt that ever changed. Six feet tall, just five inches taller than me, but for some reason he always seemed taller. He was a big man, with broad shoulders and a wide chest. He'd stayed in shape and I was mesmerized by the ripple of his muscles when he shifted his arms. His face seemed more defined to me, as if he'd finally grown into that rugged handsomeness I'd always seen in him.

The sound of his voice after so much silence startled me and I almost jumped out of my boots. "Do you know how hard it is to stand here and not touch you?"

The raw desire I heard made me ache. Literally ache, in my heart and between my legs. It seemed that not much changed, his voice still held my trigger. Oh, but it was a delicious ache. An ache I hadn't felt in five long years. I understood how he felt because I was dying to touch him, to stroke my fingers down his chest, feel the tautness of his muscles under my skin. I had to swallow hard before I could answer him. Even then my voice was breathy, as if I could barely draw in enough air to speak.

I had to know about the song, had to know if it really was about us, or not. It wasn't that I doubted when everyone said it was, because deep in my heart I knew it was true. I just had to hear him say it. That would make it completely real to me. But his full confession of the song, the reason behind it, and who it was made for had been an arrow to the heart.

I hadn't expected him to bring up Gran's funeral or the fact that we had slept together. An act of passion that led to Justin. I couldn't keep the pain from my face; I didn't have that much control. I could only think of Justin and how I was staring his daddy in the face and Alcide didn't even know. Alcide had missed all those special moments because I did not have the nerve to tell him. I hurt him so deeply and he wasn't even aware of it.

Of course Alcide thought that it was because he brought up Gran. I should have told him then. He had confessed to me, I had the chance to confess to him. Yet something held me back. It just didn't seem fair to tell him about his son in a room backstage after his concert. He had to be riding some sort of high after such a successful show and seeing me was enough for tonight. I just told him that I had my own regrets.

Fuck. My eyes blurred when I thought about what happened next. Why is it that a simple touch always had to lead to more with us? How hard could it be to just hold hands? With us, it was impossible. The moment I touched his hand the rubber band that been stretched snapped back into place.

Amelia finally stirred as I turned off the interstate at the Bon Temps exit. She looked at me under the soft glow of the passing streetlights. "Sookie?"

My hands tightened on the steering wheel. "We kissed."

She let out a soft 'oh' and studied my face. "Just kissed?"

I nodded slowly. "Yes, I couldn't let it be more. Not until he knows the truth."

My lips still burned from his kiss. I felt like his hand and fingerprints had been branded into my back from where he touched me. My lady parts were screaming at me for being so stupid. I had a chance to break a five-year sex drought but did I? No, I let common sense override my lust and I cut and ran. Poor Alcide. What must he be thinking?

I realized that Amelia was looking at me. "I'm sorry, what?"

Amelia said, "What happened after the kiss?"

"Nothing," I whispered as I turned onto Hummingbird Road, "I ran. Hell I didn't just run, I fucking fled."

I heard her groan. "Sookie…"

"I know!" I cried and pounded the steering wheel. "I know, I was stupid and now he probably thinks I hate him or something. I just," I sighed, "panicked, that's what I did. Christ, Amelia, it was like we were never apart."

"Love is like that."

"Love or lust?" I asked rhetorically as I pulled into the driveway. I think my question took Amelia by surprise, even though I didn't expect her to answer. I pulled around back and parked. "Look, I can't just jump into bed with him. That's exactly what would have happened if I had stayed. Its like spontaneous combustion when we are together."

"You say that like it is a bad thing," Amelia giggled.

I snorted. "It usually isn't. But I can't sleep with him until he knows the truth. It wouldn't be fair to him, now would it?"

"No, no it wouldn't," Amelia agreed quietly, "When are you going to tell him?"

That was a question I couldn't answer. Hell, for all I knew, Alcide was on a plane now on his way back to Nashville. I had pretty much thrown everything we talked about in his face when I ran with no explanation. I didn't blame him one bit.

"I honestly don't know. Maybe I'll hunt up his email and get a hold of him that way," I suggested, only half jokingly.

"You could do that," Amelia agreed and then she held up a slim business card, "or you could just call him tomorrow."

She passed me the card and I took it. Flipping on the dome light, I stared at the neat handwriting on the back of the card. Since Alcide had writing like chicken scrawl, I figured it had to be John Quinn's. I arched a brow at Amelia, "You know, Tray will be jealous if he learns that you are picking up men without him."

Amelia snickered. "Tray knows that I love him. No, Quinn and I both agreed that one of ya'll would fuck up this evening so he gave me Alcide's number for you. Since you haven't ever changed the number to the house, Alcide can get a hold of you easily enough."

I flipped the card between my fingers as I stared at the back porch. The porch light was a soft yellow glow. Tray left a light on for us and there was a little spurt of love for him. He was another big brother to me. I tapped the card against my palm. "What would I do without you, Meelz?"

"Suffer in silence would be my bet," was the glib reply. When I glanced at her, she was smiling. "Look, sweetie, I won't tell you what to do, mainly because knowing you, you'd turn around and do the direct opposite."

"I am not that stubborn," I protested.

There was a snort from her general direction. "I'm sure you don't know the definition of denial either. But what I was going to say is that you have a pretty good idea of what to do now. So I suggest you call Alcide, set up a lunch date for Monday. I can come in and man the office if you don't schedule anything too drastic. Take tomorrow to think of how you want to tell him about Justin, then go do it on Monday. Don't wait too long. If you really mean to do this," and she reached over to take my hand while giving me her most serious look, "do it right. Be upfront with him from the start. No more secrets."

I let her words sink in. As usual she gave me sound advice. I couldn't keep Justin a secret from Alcide. Not because I wanted to, but because it would be impossible. All it would take is one person telling him that I had a kid, or one unexpected visit to the house while Justin was there, and Alcide would know everything. I was tired of keeping secrets. It took much effort to keep secrets and it hurt too much. Justin really deserved to know his daddy and his daddy deserved to know his son.

"I'll be inside in a bit. I'll go ahead and call him now, before I lose my nerve." I let out a long breath as I said it.

Amelia leaned over to give me a kiss on the cheek. "I'll check on Justin. You are doing the right thing, Sook."

I nodded and watched as she slid out of the car. Whatever whiskey she had drank earlier had worn off because she was completely steady as she navigated her way up the steps and into the house. I pulled my BlackBerry out of my purse and punched in the number to the cell phone number on the card. Instead of ringing, it was set up to play one of those songs, and I laughed when I heard Friends In Low Places on the other end. Some things never changed.

I was beginning to think that I'd be sent to voicemail when there was a click and a slurred, "Hello?"

"Alcide?"

"Sookie, is that you?" was the answering question.

There was more of a slur and his accent was more pronounced. When he said, "Kitten, what's wrong?" I realized that he was drunk, very drunk if he was calling me that.

I felt my stomach roll with sickness. He had gotten drunk after I left, probably to dull the pain of me fleeing his arms. Great, just fucking great. I must have been silent too long because there was a rustling noise, a bark of laughter, then sudden silence followed by, "Kitten? Sookie, what is wrong."

"Nothing," I whispered into the phone. There was no way I could make plans with him now when might not even remember. I sighed, "Nothing at all."

"How did you get my number?" Alcide asked and maybe it was just me, but his voice seemed clearer.

"Ah," I didn't know if Quinn had told him that he gave Alcide's number to Amelia or not. "Quinn gave it to Amelia, who gave it to me."

"That bastard." Alcide said it with affection, not anger so I didn't worry much on it. "Why are you calling me?"

I was a little hurt by that until I remembered that it had been ages since I just called him up. No wonder he sounded surprised. "I just wanted to apologize for running out on you earlier."

"Oh. That."

His flat tone made me wince even though he couldn't see me. "Alcide, I really am sorry. It wasn't you, honest."

"I'm sure it wasn't me." Now there was a touch of bitterness in his voice that confused me. "Look Sookie, don't think anything of it. I'll just go and you won't ever see me again."

"No!" I yelled into the phone before I could stop myself. "I don't want you to go!"

There was silence. More silence. Then, "You don't?"

"No, I don't." I let out a shuddering breath. The fear almost choked me. He couldn't leave. Not now. Not when he was so close to knowing the truth. I repeated, "I don't want you to leave. Please don't."

I wasn't aware of how broken my voice sounded until he said soothingly, "Alright, Kitten, I won't leave."

"Thank you," I whispered and swiped a hand under my eyes. You would think that I cried enough that night but apparently my tear ducts were putting in overtime. "Alcide, I know now isn't a good time, so I'll just let you go."

"You taste like I remember. Does all of you still taste like I remember?"

His words had me sucking in a breath and my nether regions clenching in response. "Alcide, please, not now."

"I close my eyes and I can see you, feel you. It's been like living in a wonderful hell for ten years, Kitten," he muttered, "Every day gets harder."

Oh it was killing me listening to him. I closed my eyes to hold back the tears. "I know, I really know. Please, don't do this to me right now, Alcide, I can't stand it."

There was a long pause and I heard a scraping sound, like metal on metal. "Don't cry."

"I'm not." Yet. If he kept talking about missing me, the tears could come freely. "Alcide, go get some rest, you are going to feel like shit in the morning."

"Most likely." He said it almost cheerfully and I laughed. "Now there is a sound I could listen to all day and night."

"Stop," I muttered.

"Sorry." He sighed and asked, "Are you seeing anyone?"

It took me by surprise and I blurted, "What? No, I'm not. Why?"

"Because a murder rap would be awful for my career."

"ALCIDE!"

"I would never be able to just stand back and see you with another man. You belong with me."

My breath caught in my throat at the possessive growl and I won't deny the thrill it gave me. My panties were instantly soaked and I managed to say. "You left me."

"You left me too," he pointed out, reminding me of how I walked away from him the day after Gran's funeral. Hell I didn't just walk away, I vanished, leaving only a note. How he could still want me after that, I didn't know. I had been deliberately cruel and I had wanted him to know what it was like to have something, then lose it.

"I'm sorry." My voice cracked and I could feel a tear making its way down my cheek. "So sorry, Alcide."

"Shh, shh Kitten. I'm a grown man. I survived."

A flash of light in the kitchen window caught my eye and I looked up to see Amelia peeking out the window at me. I could barely make out the worry in her eyes. Then Justin came into view and he waved at me. I waved back.

"Sookie?"

Alcide's voice brought me back. I swallowed hard. "Listen, can you call me at the house tomorrow? I need to talk to you and ask you something."

"Ask me now."

"I'd prefer to wait until you were sober so you'll remember," I said and he snorted.

"Good point. Hell Quinn and I must have killed that bottle of Jack in an hour."

"I'm sorry I drove you to drink." I'm sorry I drove you away ten years ago. I'm sorry I kept the biggest fucking secret ever from you. So many 'I'm sorry's' and the words didn't really mean a damn thing.

"Not your fault. I thought you were, well that doesn't matter." He shifted and I heard a groan. "What time should I call tomorrow."

"Umm anytime is good. If I don't hear from you by 3 in the afternoon, I'll just assume you forgot about this conversation and call you, that okay?" I was trying very hard not to concentrate on the groan or the sound of clothes being pulled off.

"Sure, but I can promise you, I won't forget this. I haven't forgotten anything about you, Kitten, and I don't plan on starting now," he said and his voice sounded muffled, as if he was taking off his shirt.

I could picture him in a hotel chair, or bed, all bare-chested. I licked my lips, grateful he couldn't see it. He didn't need to know that I was thinking about how it would feel to run my lips along the dips and curves of his abs and then upwards to circle around his nipples.

"Ah," my throat had gone tight and dry so I swallowed hard. "That's great, really. I'll wait to hear from you then. Bye, Alcide."

"Bye, Kitten." He mumbled something else before I could hang up. I had clicked the end button before I realized that it had sounded suspiciously like, 'I love you'. I sincerely hoped that there were some things that he did not remember when he woke up in the morning. That being one of them. It was just too soon.

I tucked the phone back into my purse and hurried out of the car and up the front steps. Justin flung open the door and launched himself into my arms. I caught him and balanced him on my hip. His head went immediately to my shoulder. "Missed you, Mommy."

"I missed you too, baby, but I thought you were supposed to be in bed?" I asked as I walked into the kitchen and dumped my purse on the table. Amelia looked at me and I shook my head and mouthed, 'Tell you tomorrow.'

She nodded and ruffled Justin's head. "Good night you two."

"Night, Auntie Mellie," Justin mumbled in his sleepy voice.

His head was already heavy with sleep on my shoulder as I carried him back to my bedroom. "I didn't think you were coming home."

"Oh baby, I told you I would. Didn't I call you from the restaurant and before the concert?"

"Yeah, but you sat in the car."

"Mommy had to make a important phone call, that's all." I flipped the switch to the bedroom light as I entered my room. "You wanna cuddle with Mommy?"

I felt his head nod and I sat him on the bed. "Let me go get into my jammies, okay."

"Kay kay." He yawned and snuggled into the dark hunter green pillow on my bed.

I disappeared into the bathroom and made quick work of removing my make up and unbraiding my hair. I brushed it out quickly so it wouldn't be all natty in the morning. Then I changed into my habitual boxer shorts and tank top. Even with the A/C running it got hot in my room.

When I came out of the bathroom, Justin had pulled back the hunter green and burgundy covers and crawled under them. I padded over to the wall and turned off the light before crawling into bed with him. I got myself situated on my side and Justin snuggled in close, tucking his body along mine. I wrapped one arm around his side and his little hand covered mine. His head was tucked under my chin, and I breathed in I smelled the faint scent of watermelon from his bath wash.

I propped myself up on my other arm and watched him. His chest moved up and down in steady, even breaths. Before I even counted to ten, he was back asleep. I carefully removed my hand from under his and used it to stroke that baby fine blonde hair. His nose was slightly wrinkled in sleep, like he was having a bad dream, but he wasn't, that was just how he normally looked when he was sleeping.

I stroked a finger down his chubby cheek, relishing in the soft silky feel of his skin. He was warm, but then he always ran a little hotter than normal. It used to scare me when he was a baby and I always thought that he was running a temperature. His pediatrician said that sometimes small children had a slightly higher than normal body temp and it was nothing to worry about.

I looked down at my sleeping baby and wondered how on God's green earth I had gotten so lucky. I certainly didn't deserve this sweet little angel, but I had him. For four years he had been all mine but it was more than time for me to share. I felt a sharp pain in my heart.

I wanted Alcide to be here, curled up on his other side. I wanted our little boy to be snuggled in the middle of us. I wanted to be able to reach out and hold his hand as we gazed at the miracle we had inadvertently created. I wanted to know that I could look up and see him and know that he felt the same swelling of love that I did when he saw Justin. I wanted so much for us to be a family.

I brushed away a tear and laid my head back down. Justin whimpered when I rolled over onto my back. He moved without waking up, shifting around so that his head was pillowed on my shoulder. I rubbed my hand over his back rhythmically until he was sleeping peacefully again. Then I stared up at my ceiling and waited for sleep to claim me.

The next morning I woke up to the strong smell of coffee by my side and the faint scent of pancakes and strawberries in the air. I groaned and tossed a hand over my eyes when I cracked them and bright light blinded me. There was a laugh from the doorway. I pushed myself up and cracked an eye. Amelia was laughing at me. "Bout time you woke up sleepy head."

"What time is it?" I mumbled as I reached blindly for the coffee. I drew the rich scent of freshly ground coffee and hazelnut in. My coffee for the day was in one of my favorite mugs. It was a rich purple with Tinkerbell in raised relief on the sides. I had bought it during one of our trips to the mall and the Disney Store. Amelia made fun of me, but I liked the sassy little fairy.

I took a deep drink and almost scalded my tongue. "It's after ten. Tray is making pancakes."

"I can smell them," I said over the rim, "Justin?"

"Helping."

I groaned, "Lord help me, that kitchen will be a mess."

"Nah," Amelia said as she tossed me my robe. "Tray's only letting him take the pancakes off the griddle when they are done and put the strawberries on. Mess free, I promise."

"Thank God." I tugged on my short silk robe and belted it around my waist.

"So, tell me what happened over the phone," Amelia prodded me with a finger as I walked past her to the bathroom.

I let her stew as I took care of morning business and examined myself in the mirror. There were bags under my eyes, thanks to the scant four hours of sleep I got. Not only did I have a problem falling asleep, not drifting off until the early morning sky turned a pale blue and birds started singing, Justin decided that it would be one of his restless sleep nights. I'm pretty sure I had a myriad of bruises on my thighs and lower legs from his kicks.

I pulled my hair back in a sloppy top knot and opened the bathroom door. Amelia was waiting for me, arms crossed, eyes narrowed. "Tell me now. Or I'll get Justin that puppy he wants for his birthday."

I couldn't stop the shudder. "We talked. He was drunk. Shit faced drunk."

"Fuck." Amelia always knew the right thing to say.

I nodded. "So we didn't talk about anything important." The light sexual by play wasn't important. Was it? Hell I didn't know how that crap worked anymore. I sipped some more of the coffee and let my morning shot of caffeine go to work. "Anyway, since he was drunk, I didn't ask him about lunch on Monday. I asked him to call me today. If he remembers. He probably won't, so I'll call him sometime after three."

"Well at least it's progress," Amelia said as we started down the hall and into the kitchen.

"It's something," I agreed.

We entered the kitchen to see Justin carefully carrying a pancake filled plate to the table. There were already three plates waiting so it seemed like we had just arrived in time for breakfast to start. There were cups of orange juice waiting beside the plates and two kinds of syrups on the table. I fixed another cup of coffee and took my seat.

Justin clambered into his booster seat by himself and eyed his pancakes with a gleam in his eye, sort of like a wolf that's about to enjoy a real tasty mountain sheep. Justin loved pancakes, it didn't matter who made them. Throw some strawberries into the mix and he would eat a huge stack of them. Then feel sick all morning long. But since pancakes were a special treat at our house, I didn't mind.

We were about to dig in when I heard the sound of a truck pulling up the drive. I looked at Amelia. "Guess Tray's pancakes smelled so good that Jason caught scent of them."

They laughed and Justin cried, "Unca Jay!"

Tray moved to get up but I waved him back down. "Ya'll go on and eat. I'll fix him up a plate real fast."

I got up and walked over to the cupboard. I was taking a plate out when I heard the car door slam. Since the oven was next to the sink, I had to pass by the window. As I did so, I glanced out it. The plate tumbled from my fingers and hit the floor with a dull thud. Luckily it was good stoneware and didn't shatter.

What caused me to drop the plate was the sight of Alcide and John Quinn walking towards my back door. I felt all the blood drain from my face and I turned around quickly. Justin wasn't paying me any attention but Tray and Amelia were. Both of them lunged out of their seats when they saw my face. I had no time to explain before there was a sharp rap at the door.

That got Justin's attention real fast. He slid out of his seat, and even though Tray tried to grab him, the boy was as agile as a gazelle and managed to dodge his arms. Before I could say anything, Justin was throwing open the back door and staring up at the two large men who stood framed in it.

His face twisted into a pout. "You aren't Unca Jay."

Silence. Complete and total silence.

I swear that you could hear my heart pounding in my chest as I walked over and stood behind Justin, my hands resting gently on his shoulders. "Sweetie, what have we talked about?"

"Don't open doors," he responded sullenly.

"That's right, you especially don't open doors without checking to see who is there first," I reminded him with a frown.

He nodded. "I'm sorry, Mommy."

I glanced up in time to see Alcide's face pale to white. Quinn was wide eyed, looking from Justin to me to Alcide. I swallowed hard and tried to smile warmly at them. "Alcide, Quinn, we weren't expecting company this early. We were just settling in for breakfast. Would ya'll like to join us?"

I really didn't want to invite them, but if Gran were alive, she'd would have my rear if I didn't invite them in. Unexpected company or not, I still knew them and southern hospitality dictated that I invited them in to join us for our meal.

Alcide was glaring at me now, his gaze hot and accusing. It was all I could do to stand there and look back at him. Justin tugged on my arm. "Who are these men, Mommy?"

"Well Justin, this is Alcide, a school friend of mine, and this is John Quinn, a friend of Alcide's." I glanced up at Alcide and introduced him to his son, though he didn't know it yet. "Alcide, Quinn, this is Justin, my son."

Justin reached out and took Quinn's hand, tugging him forward. "Come on, Unca Tray makes the best strawberry pancakes in the world."

Quinn, at a loss for words I think, allowed my little boy to tug him into the kitchen. I glanced over my shoulder. "Amelia, would you fix Quinn a plate, please? Justin, get back in your seat and finish eating."

"Where are you going?" Justin asked as Tray helped him back into his seat.

I didn't dare look at Alcide for fear of what I might see. "I'll be back in just a few minutes. I need to talk to Alcide outside."

He nodded, blonde hair bouncing, and dug right into his food. Tray gave me a concerned look and I knew if I asked, he'd come outside with me, just in case. Which was just ridiculous because Alcide would never hurt me. I gave a brief shake of my head. Quinn sat on the other side of Justin and Justin regaled him with tales of his toy trucks. I swear, that kid was the friendliest child I knew. Quinn gave Alcide the same look Tray gave me and Alcide must have shook his head as well because the big man picked up the conversation on trucks with Justin.

I waved Alcide outside and followed him. He was walking stiffly in a jarring gait, as if he was trying to leave a deep footprint with every step. I winced and followed more sedately. I waited until we neared the truck to say, "I am so sorry you had to find out this way."

"This way? This way?" He almost roared the question at me. "What other way is there?"

"Well," I said slowly, "I was going invite you to lunch tomorrow and tell you then. I didn't expect you to just show up here!"

I flung that in his face because it was the only weapon I had. He jabbed a finger at me. "I thought that with what you said last night, about not wanting me to leave, that you'd be okay if I showed up. I never needed an invitation before."

"That was then and this is now. We aren't dating anymore, Alcide!"

"I'm aware of that," Alcide said, raking his eyes down my body in a gesture that had me shifting uncomfortably. "But I did think that we were some kind of friends."

After his blatant appraisal of my body, I became very aware of the fact that he was dressed in stonewashed Wranglers, a vintage t-shirt, black cowboy boots and I was still in my jammies and robe. I felt naked despite the clothes. "I'm sorry, I don't know how many times I can say it."

"You have a son."

"I have a son." I confirmed and thought, _So do you_.

"He looks like you," Alcide said softly.

"I know," I whispered. What else was there to say?

Alcide's brow furrowed and I wondered if he saw the same parts of him in Justin that I always saw. Maybe he did because his next question was, "How old is he?"

I bit my lip and looked away. Alcide was not stupid by any means. When I told him Justin's age, he could put two and two together. I held myself very still, bracing for the storm I knew was coming and said clearly, "Four, almost five."

Alcide stared at me and I watched it all come together in his face. His eyes were narrowed as he did the math then they went a little wide. The color that had come back to his face drained away slowly and he looked back to the house where we could hear Justin's wild laughter.

Alcide took two steps towards me and took me by the shoulders. I braced myself, thinking he might shake me or something, but he asked very quietly in a deadly voice I never heard before. "Sookie, who is his father?"

I trembled but met his gaze. I didn't have to say anything because I knew he was able to read the truth in my eyes. But I said it anyways, "You, Alcide, he's your son."

Alcide released me so quickly that I stumbled back, caught off balance. He had one hand out on the truck to brace himself. He was looking the ground so I couldn't see his face. I took a tentative step forward when his head flew up. The anger in his eyes was unlike anything I'd ever seen before. I took an involuntary step back and whispered, "Alcide?" I waited then as the silence grew for him to answer me.

**Author's Notes: Uh-oh, shit's really about to hit the fan. Thanks for reading! Leave a review, I'll try to respond to as many as I can. And if I can't, let me just say that I am amazed and touched that so many of you are enjoying this story. The response to it has just knocked me back on my feet. Thank you so much. Ya'll are fantastic!**


	7. What Do You Say?

**Author's Notes: First and foremost, many thanks to LindsayK for being my wonderful beta and sounding board for this story. I luffles you! Second, this is the chapter where Alcide loses his shit, so to speak. Very angsty. Also, citrus warning. There is a full blown lemon. Those who asked for Justin's conception, well wait no longer! Oh before I forget, DazedRose made me another completely awesome banner, this time for It's Your Song, it is linked on my profile. Seriously I am so in love with this banner. On with the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SVM or the characters. If I did, well, I wouldn't be writing this now would I?**

**It's Your Song**

**Chapter Seven**

_What do you say in a moment like this, when you can't find the words to tell it like it is?_

_~ What Do You Say? By Reba_

**APOV**

I stared at Sookie in shock and anger. What she was saying wasn't sinking in. I found it hard to believe that the child, her son, was mine. It just wasn't possible. Sookie would have told me. She wouldn't have kept something like that a secret. She couldn't have. My brain was pounding within my skull, a combination of shock and hangover.

I had woken up this morning sprawled haphazardly across the bed. On the floor next to the bed, as if he had fallen, was Quinn. He had one arm tucked under his head and he was snoring loud enough that the floors should have shook. It felt like a desert decided to relocate in my mouth so my first act, once I was able to open my eyes and keep them open, was to find water.

After I half drowned myself in a effort to get rid of the thick sandy feeling in my mouth, I sat at the bar in the hotel room and tried to remember what happened the night before. My phone was on the bar and the battery bars were flashing a warning that it was on the verge of dying. After I hunted up the charger, I sat there and went through it to see what I had done to run the battery down overnight.

In my call log was a strange number. The first time it appeared was as an incoming call. The other fifty fucking million calls had been outgoing. I frowned and opened up my texts. There in a single line were more than two dozens texts to the same number, with messages to Sookie. Seeing her name brought back what happened.

She had called to apologize, that I remembered clearly. I think I might have said something about missing her, how she tasted, how she laughed. She had been upset but I couldn't remember what about. There was a vague recollection of her saying she had something to tell me but not over the phone. I said I'd call her today.

Looks like I got an early start on the calling. Given the amount of calls to her cell phone, I was glad I had been too drunk to remember her home phone number. None of the calls lasted more than thirty seconds so she must not have answered her phone. I was debating the merits of trying to reach her via house phone, when Quinn stumbled out of the bedroom. His eyes were bloodshot and he stumbled over to the bar. "Water…"

Since he croaked it, I shoved my water bottle in his general direction. I picked up my charging phone and punched in the numbers to Sookie's home phone from memory. A gruff male voice picked up and I had to fight the urge to demand who the fuck he was and why he was answering Sookie's phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is, uh, Sookie there?"

"She's not available, can I ask who is calling? Is it an emergency?"

Emergency as in 'if I don't have Sookie beneath me, over me, in front of me I'll die?' Yes, but I didn't think that is what the man was speaking of so I said, "No, this is Alcide Herveaux. She asked me to call her."

"Ah, well she's still in bed. You do realize that it is 8 in the fucking morning, right?" Apparently Sookie's male house guest was a cranky ass.

I looked at the clock and sure enough, it was 8 in the fucking morning. How, after a night of drinking and passing out around 3 A.M, we were up was a mystery but I was wide awake. "Sorry, I hadn't realized the time. I'll give her a call back later."

"I'll let her know you called." There was a click and the man hung up. I was pissed because I never got his name. I wanted to know who the hell this man was. One of the things I did remember about the night before was that Sookie had stated she was single. So whoever this guy was, he wasn't her lover.

I tossed the phone down and Quinn looked at me. "What the hell was that about?"

"Well when you were busy getting the fucking munchies over the Food Network, Sookie called me last night. I said I'd call her this morning, when I was sober."

Quinn gave me an incredulous look. "So you call her at eight in the morning? Either you got it bad or you are just stupid."

"Let's go with door number one," I muttered under my breath. "Breakfast?"

Quinn turned a nasty shade of green at the mention of food and dashed to the bathroom. I chuckled as I snagged the room service menu. Quinn couldn't handle even the mention of food when he had a hangover. I ordered food and waited for it to arrive. Quinn stayed as far away from me as possible as I dug into my bacon, eggs, and biscuits. I was antsy, waiting for Sookie to return my call.

A hour went and she didn't return my call. Maybe her sleeping habits had changed but the Sookie I knew rarely slept past 9. Thirty more minutes and I was shifting in my seat. I figured she'd call me, since that was the polite thing to do, but Quinn threatened to chop my fingers off if I picked up the phone one more time. I had already taken a shower so I was ready to head out.

"Come on, let's go."

"Go where?" Quinn asked and looked up from the movie he was watching.

"Bon Temps."

"She doesn't call you so you go stalking her? Smooth, man, smooth."

"I am not going to stalk her," I explained as I shrugged into my jean jacket. "I'm going to go visit old stomping grounds."

"Which naturally includes her house," Quinn said dryly.

I gave him a disgusted look and headed out. A driver was waiting for me down stairs, but I shook him off and headed to the car rental down the road. Ten minutes and three autographs later, Quinn and I were driving down the highway to Bon Temps in a shiny black Chevy Silverado.

"You realize that this is stalking." Quinn was kind enough to point out.

I gave him a look over the rim of my aviator sunglasses. "It isn't stalking."

"A woman doesn't call you so you go to her house. That's stalking, honey, and you know it."

"Don't call me honey," I ordered.

"Snookums?"

"I'm going to punch you."

"Oh I know, baby cakes! Sweet cheeks!"

"Quinn, just shut the hell up."

"No way, cowboy. You are dragging me into your stalking. I'll call you whatever I want."

"You didn't have to come," I muttered.

"Oh like I'm going to let my man go and do something insanely stupid without me. What the hell, Alcide? Seeing your woman get your brains scrambled?"

There was no response to that, at least not in my mind. He came because he was my friend. You can't really bitch about that. I was thrown back in time when I drove into Bon Temps. I'd carefully avoided coming back here after Gran's funeral. Too many memories. If I thought driving through Bon Temps was a memory shock, driving down Hummingbird Road and pulling into the old driveway was the clincher.

Quinn looked at me as I drove around back and parked next to a SUV. "You going to be okay?"

I shrugged. "Guess we'll see."

"Don't do anything stupid man," he warned.

"Who me?"

He said nothing to that and we got out. I tucked my hands into my pockets as we headed up the back porch. I knocked once and got the shock of my life when the door was flung open to reveal a little boy. His cherubic face was pouting when he said, "You aren't Unca Jay."

My eyes went blank when the meaning of words hit me. Unca Jay could only be Jason Stackhouse, which meant that this little boy was Sookie's. Quinn knew enough about the Stackhouses to know the meaning of those words too and he gave me a worried look.

Sookie appeared then and rested her hands on the little boy's shoulder. I watched in silence as she scolded him. The blood had drained from my face as I studied the two of them. The little boy looked so much like Sookie, from having the same shade of golden blonde hair, to the same blue eyes. It was like looking at pictures of Sookie as a child, only there were slight differences.

Sookie introduced us and I felt a blaze of anger. You would think that she'd mention the fact that she had a son, just once, in the two conversations we had. I thought briefly that maybe this is what she had wanted to tell me. When Sookie asked me to go outside with her, I turned and stomped down the steps and out to my truck.

"I am so sorry you had to find out this way."

"This way? This way?" I whirled to face her, almost vibrating with anger. "What other way is there?"

"Well," she said slowly and nervously, "I was going invite you to lunch tomorrow and tell you then. I didn't expect you to just show up here!"

I almost winced at that, but I stopped myself. I wouldn't let myself feel bad. She's the one who had been keeping secrets. "I thought that with what you said last night, about not wanting me to leave, that you'd be okay if I showed up. I never needed an invitation before."

"That was then and this is now. We aren't dating anymore, Alcide!"

That was just like throwing salt on the wound and I stared at her, mouth open. How could she throw that in my face?

"I'm sorry, I don't know how many times I can say it."

"You have a son," I said it slowly, trying the words out for the first time. I never thought I would say them in regard to Sookie. I always held on to the small chance and dream that if she ever did have children, it would be with me.

"I have a son." Her soft confirmation had more of an effect on me than if she had screamed at me. She had a son, but she wasn't married or dating. Which meant some ass knocked her up then left her to deal with it all on her own. I wanted to throttle the man responsible for doing this to her.

"He looks like you," I said softly.

"I know," Sookie whispered.

I thought back to the little boy I had just met and frowned. Yes, he looked like her, but at the same time, he didn't. He could have been a carbon copy of Sookie, except for a few differences. Differences that only now made sense to me. I felt my world freeze as I asked, "How old is he?

I kept my eyes on Sookie as she bit her lip. She glanced away from me and for a second it looked like she wasn't going to answer me. The she said, "Four, almost five."

I stared and did the math. Four meant that she had gotten pregnant almost five years ago. Five years ago we…

Fucking hell.

That meant…

The bottom dropped out from under me as I realized what she was telling me. I stepped towards her and took her by the shoulders. I asked her in a deadly controlled voice, needing to hear her say it, "Sookie, who is his father?"

She trembled in my grip and I knew. Without her saying it, I knew. "You, Alcide, he's your son."

The confirmation had me releasing her and spinning back to the truck. I felt sick to my stomach. Sookie's son was my son. My son. I had a son and never knew until now. I drew in shallow breaths between clenched teeth as I struggled not to scream at her for never telling me. I closed my eyes and thought about the last time we were together.

_I had been driving for eleven hours straight after I got the phone call from Jason. I arrived mid-afternoon and went to the old farmhouse. I passed several cars and I knew I had been too late for the funeral. Damn Jason for not calling me sooner. I loved Gran as if she was my own grandmother. I could only imagine how Jason and Sookie were coping with this._

_Sookie. Christ, she had to devastated. Gran meant so much to her. I turned off into the worn driveway and drove around back. It never once occurred to me to park in the front, the back had always been for family and friends. Despite what happened between Sookie and I, I still thought of myself as family. _

_ Jason was standing on the back porch when I unfolded myself out of the tiny hatchback I had rented since my beat up truck wasn't up to a long road trip. He lifted a hand in greeting to me and pointed behind me. I turned and looked over at the old cemetery. A lone figure stood over a fresh grave. Sookie._

_ I waved an acknowledgment at Jason and headed that way. I crossed the field and entered the cemetery. I navigated around tombstones until I stopped next to Sookie. She was wearing a slim black dress that washed out her skin. But none of that mattered when she looked up at me and I saw the tears. I did the only thing I could think of and opened my arms. She stepped into them and I held her as she sobbed against my chest._

_ My hands rubbed soothing circles on her back and I whispered nonsense into her ear. It didn't seem to matter that we had gone five years without speaking. The way she looked at me, the way she didn't even hesitate when it came to holding me. She had been waiting for me._

_ We stood there for a very long time just comforting each other. At one point I cried as well when I looked down at the fresh turned dirt that covered the grave. It hurt more than I could stand to look down and realize that beneath all that earth was the body of a woman I had respect and loved. Of all the people I kept in contact with after I left Bon Temps, Gran had been the one I called the most. We had weekly phone conversations and I kept her up to date on my struggles to get a record deal._

_ The only person who didn't judge me for leaving was Gran. She was within her rights to hate me for hurting Sookie, but she understood that I had to go and make my own stand. God, I couldn't believe she was gone. Jason had said that she passed away in her sleep and I was grateful that she hadn't suffered._

_ Sookie sniffed, "Take me back to the house?"_

_ "Of course," I said and wrapped an arm tightly around her shoulders and led her back to the house. Jason was in the kitchen we got there, along with a slender brunette who looked at Sookie with concern._

_ Jason pressed a coffee cup in Sookie's hands. "Alcide, it's good to see you, despite the circumstances."_

_ "Yeah. I'm glad you called."_

_ "You must be exhausted. What did you do, drive straight through?"_

_ I nodded. "Yeah, in that tiny cramped hatchback."_

_ "Damn."_

_ Sookie looked up from where she had been talking to the brunette. "I'm going to go lay down. Alcide, will you come with me?"_

_ I was shocked by her request but nodded anyway. She said nothing as I followed her down the hallway to her bedroom. It looked the same as it had the last time I had been there. The walls were a soft cream color with tiny wildflowers painted on them. Pale blue curtains hung over the windows and the worn oak dresser and bed set was the same. She even kept the same comforter she had when she was eighteen._

_ Sookie paused by the bed and looked at me. She looked so worn, so vulnerable that my heart ached for her. Her voice shook as she asked, "Would you just lay with me? Hold me?"_

_ "You don't even have to ask," I answered honestly. _

_ She nodded and crawled into bed. I toed off my boots and slid down next to her. She turned to me and snuggled up to my side, laying her head on my shoulder. One arm wrapped around my stomach and she pressed closer. I wrapped my arm around her, hand resting on her hip. When she sighed, I brushed a kiss over her forehead. "Rest, Sookie, I won't leave you."_

_ "I know," she whispered, and between that and the next breath she was asleep. _

_ I laid there and listened to her even breathing. I had dreamed of this countless times over the last five years. I had missed holding her, listening to her talk or just watching her sleep. I never realized how much until I was holding her again. I smiled and drifted off to sleep myself, the hours in the car catching up with me._

_ I woke up to warm hands sliding under my shirt. I was disoriented at first until my eyes focused and I saw Sookie staring up at me, blue eyes intent on their study of my voice. My voice was rough and thick with sleep when I said, "Sookie?"_

_ "Make me forget, Alcide. Touch me and remind me that I'm alive." Her voice was soft and urgent and her fingers slid over my stomach and up my chest._

_ I touched her face with my free hand, rubbing my thumb over her jaw. Her words undid me. I slid my hand around, burying my fingers in her hair and tugging her up until her lips touched mine. They were soft against mine, and the kiss was hesitant, as if she wasn't sure she really wanted to do this. _

_ It had been so long since the last time that I was almost afraid to move as her lips moved against mine in a slow, sensual dance. Her body was pressed against my side and I turned so that we were face to face, never breaking the kiss. Her hand slid along my side, fingers digging into my back as she squirmed closer. I groaned as her hips rocked against mine._

_ I stroked my hand down over her back and listened as she whimpered. I wanted to touch her more so I rolled us until I was above her. Her legs spread without me having to say anything and I rested my lower body against hers. I rocked against her and she moaned at the intimate touch. I pulled back and stared down at her._

_Sookie was sprawled under me, her face flushed, eyes heavy with desire. "Alcide…"_

_ "Shh, Kitten, let me take care of you." I lowered my head and brushed a kiss against her jaw. I kissed my way along her jaw and down her neck as her body arched under mine, seeking friction. I nipped at her throat, eliciting another moan from Sookie. _

_ The dress she was wearing had white buttons down the front and I sat back on my knees, slowly undoing one button at a time. With each button I undid, more of her flesh was revealed. Her breasts heaved against the simple white bra she wore. I praised the fact that it had a front clasp and flipped it open quickly. Sookie cried out when my hands covered her breasts._

_ Her nipples pebbled under my touch and I rolled them between my fingers, watching her eyes. Her hands slid up my arms, nails digging into my biceps. Leaning down, I flicked my tongue over one nipple. The reaction she had was to surge upward with a loud groan. _

_ She tasted like vanilla, cherries, and sunshine. I feasted on her breasts, licking and sucking on one before moving to the other. She had buried one of her hands in my hair, holding me close to her, and the other gripped my shirt. _

_ When I pulled back to look at her, her mouth was parted as she panted, "Too many clothes."_

_ She worked my shirt up and over my head. As I finished undoing the rest of her dress buttons, she dragged her nails over my chest. I breathed a curse as her hand shot down to my jeans. Her fingers tugged impatiently at the button and she gave a small cry when I dragged a finger down her body, ghosting over her breasts, her stomach, to rest just above her panties._

_ "Touch me." Sookie begged as she fumbled at my zipper. _

_ I captured her hands in mine and dragged them up and pinned them over her head. I kissed her, sliding my tongue over her lower lip until her mouth parted. Her tongue warred against mine as her hips arched up into me._

_ "Just lay here, Kitten. Let me taste you," I whispered against her lips. Sookie went limp beneath me, as if my words flipped some kind of switch. I kissed, nibbled, and licked my way down her body. My tongue left a wet trail down her stomach and I paused, face just above the juncture at her thighs._

_ Sookie whimpered when I dragged my fingers along the top of her panties. I waited until I had her full attention before I gripped the sides of the simple white cotton boy shorts and dragged them down over her hips and legs. Then I slid my hands up her legs, making her squirm when I stopped at her knees. _

_ In one smooth motion, I parted her legs and stared. She was bare and her slit glistened from her desire. My breath caught in my throat when I caught the heady scent of her sex. One hand slid up her thigh and there was a soft mewling sound when my fingers barely brushed against her. _

_ "Please," she rasped as her hips rocked, seeking friction._

_ I lowered my head to press a kiss against her thigh. I had to fight for control. I wanted nothing more than to just to burying my head between her legs and taste her. But I wanted to drag this out, to bring her tortuously close to the edge. I worked my way up her thigh with kisses as my fingers moved closer and closer to her clit. _

_ She was so wet that my fingers slid easily over her. When I brushed my thumb over her clit, Sookie cried out, "Yes, God, Alcide."_

_ I let out a ragged breath as I continued to toy with her clit. Sookie was shaking and her fingers dug into the sheets beneath her. When I replaced my thumb with my mouth, flicking my tongue over the small, swollen nub, she gasped and came. _

_ I didn't stop, using my mouth and fingers to work her to orgasm again and again. The taste of her was like honey and I couldn't get enough. When I slid a finger inside her, her inner walls clamped around it and I moaned. I clamped my mouth over her clit again, sucking and nipping as I thrust my finger deep in her._

_ My name was on her lips, mingling with cries to God. When she was completely limp, I pulled back. Her breasts heaved with each ragged breath. I almost came in my jeans when she grabbed my hand and sucked her juices from my fingers. I didn't protest or try to stop her when she sat up and pushed me back on the bed. She pulled her dress and bra off and tossed them to the floor before she undid the zipper to my jeans. My cock was rock hard and my jeans were way too tight now for comfort._

_ She stripped my jeans off. Her hand closed around my dick and stroked and it was my turn to moan. Her tongue flicked over the head of my cock and my hips jerked. Sookie chuckled, a low sexy sound that drove me crazy. She stroked my cock a couple more times before she slithered up my body, straddling my hips._

_ "I want you in me," she panted as she rocked her hips over me, her wet center rubbing against my dick._

_ I grabbed her hips to still her motions before she drove me completely crazy. "Condom."_

_ "I'm on the pill. Please, Alcide." Sookie stared down at me and reached between us as she raised up on her knees and positioned my cock at her entrance._

_ My hands slid over her stomach to her breasts as she slid slowly down on me. She was tight and wet and hot as she rolled her hips to take me all in. Our moans mingled together when I was fully sheathed inside her. She froze above me, inner walls clenching around my dick. _

_ "Sookie," I groaned and pinched her nipples between my fingers._

_ She gasped and rocked her hips. Oh Christ, she felt so good around me. She leaned down and braced herself with her hands on my chest as she rode me. Her movements were fast and frantic as she drove us both towards orgasm. I could tell from the way her eyes fluttered shut that she was close. So was I, only I wanted this to last, I wanted to savor it. I gripped her hip with one hand, fingers digging into her skin as I reached between us with my other hand and flicked my fingers over her clit. She cried out sharply and I felt her orgasm tear through her. _

_ I rolled us so that she was on her back. Her legs came up and wrapped around my waist and I began slow, deep thrusts into her. Her nails dug into my shoulders and I leaned down to kiss her, drinking in each moan and whimper that escaped her lips. _

_ "Oh God," she said with a moan as I paused in my thrusts, "Fuck me harder."_

_ "Christ, Sookie," I said as she bucked against me. She gave me a slow smile and did it again. I grabbed her hips to stop her. When she glared at me, I shoved deep inside of her. She nearly came off the bed. Again and again, I thrust inside her as hard as I could. When she came, she screamed my name and I lost it. Her walls clamped around my dick as I came. "Sookie!"_

_ My arms trembled with the effort to hold my body off her so I couldn't crush her. Sookie slid her arms around my neck and pulled me down for a kiss. I kissed her as I slowly slid from her body, twitching when she moaned from the loss. I shifted so that I was cradling her body against me, hands stroking her back. We fell asleep again, pressed together._

_ We woke up several more times during the night and made love again and again. The last time was slow and tender and at the end, I couldn't imagine what made me think I could live without her. I made a decision just before I fell asleep. When I woke up hours later, Sookie was gone and a note rested on the pillow next to me, saying she couldn't do this again._

"Alcide?"

I blinked and looked at Sookie, who was looking at me with concern. That night she got pregnant. We created a child and she never told me. Not once did she ever call, write, or do anything that would tell me I had a son. Four, almost five fucking years have come and gone and I missed all those moments with my son because she didn't tell me.

I loved the woman, always have, but I wanted to strangle her. How dare she keep something like that from me? How dare she make a decision that cost me those precious years of seeing my son grow up? I missed it all.

First smile, first tooth, first time to crawl, first step, first word. All those firsts that could never be repeated. Holidays that have come and gone, birthdays where he didn't have a daddy. All because Sookie kept him a secret.

"How could you?" I asked in a low voice. I didn't bother to hide my anger.

She shook like a leaf and flinched away from me. "I had to, Alcide. I didn't have a choice."

"Don't you give me that bullshit, Sookie," I snapped and slammed my hand down on the hood of the truck. She jumped at the sound and I stabbed a finger in her direction. "You fucking had a choice and that was to keep him from me. What the fuck were you thinking?"

"Alcide," pleaded Sookie, "just let me explain."

"Explain what, Sookie? How you used me to chase away your grief and just walked away without having the nerve to say good bye to my face? How you got pregnant because I loved you enough to be there for you? How you kept the fact that you had MY CHILD a secret from me?" My voice broke and I just stared at her, unable to even fathom what made her think that she had to keep our son a secret from me.

"Why, Sookie? Why? I would have come home if you had told me. I would have been here for you, for him."

"Exactly!" she cried, throwing her hands up in the air. "You would have given it all up to come back here because I thought the pill was enough." She paused and took a shaky breath. "Alcide, when I found out I was pregnant, I was shocked and scared, alright. I had just lost Gran, and I was in school. I thought about calling you, believe me, I did."

"Then why didn't you?" I demanded.

She gave me a helpless look, tears welling up in her eyes. "Because, Alcide, you just had your first hit. Living With Regrets made it to number one when I found out." The tears slid down her cheeks. "You had your dream. All you ever wanted and I didn't want to take that away from you."

I stiffened and when she reached for me, I backed away from her. I couldn't touch her, I didn't want her touching me. Not yet, not now. It was all too much to take in. I had a son, Sookie had lied to me. The fact that she claimed she had my best interest at heart did nothing to soothe away the sting of betrayal I felt.

I jerked open the truck door and stared at the leather interior. I heard Sookie move up behind me and snapped, "Don't fucking touch me, Sookie."

"Alcide, don't hate me. I knew if I told you I was pregnant, you would have dropped it all to come back here. I only wanted you to be happy."

"Well fuck you, Sookie Stackhouse, it wasn't your choice to make. It took both of us to get your pregnant and by God, I should have the option of saying whether I want to be there or not." I turned to look at her, glad in my anger to see that her face was pale with shock and hurt.

"Alcide," Sookie sobbed, "don't be like this. I'm sorry, alright, I'm sorry. That's why I wanted to talk to you tomorrow. I swear I was going to tell you."

"It's too fucking late for that, Sookie."

"Please, Alcide." She was crying harder now and had her arms wrapped around her stomach as if she was in pain.

I roared, "Don't you do that, Sookie. Your tears aren't going to make it better."

The sound of the door slamming had us both jerking and looking in that direction. Barreling down the stairs, his little face furious, came Justin. He flung himself between Sookie and I. His face was red and his eyes, so like Sookie's, glared up at me like hot little blue embers. His little hands were clenched in fists at his side as he screamed.

"Don't yell at my mommy! You are a bad man!" For all that he was three feet tall, he looked ready to hurl himself at me.

It was a verbal slap that had all the fight draining out of me. In my anger towards Sookie, I had forgotten that he was inside and I had been loud enough that he'd been able to hear. I glanced towards the porch and saw that Quinn and Sookie's friends had come out on the porch. Quinn looked between the three of us and put the pieces together, I could tell from the way his face went from confused to astonished, then concerned.

I looked back down at my boy and his anger hadn't lessened. When I said nothing, I couldn't speak, I was too shocked, he yelled again. "Go away! You can't yell at my mommy like that! I don't like you!"

Oh God. My heart simply shattered at those honest words. I looked up at Sookie and her eyes were wide with shock and pain. She reached for him and pulled him back against her legs. He turned and clung to her, little shoulders heaving and I heard. "I won't let him hurt you, Mommy. I'll protect you."

Bile rose in my throat at that. The world went white and I couldn't see beyond the small figure that was holding Sookie tightly. This was not how I wanted my son to think of me, a big angry man who yelled at his mother. I did not want him to hate me. I wanted to reach for him, and I think I made a move towards the two of them because Sookie glanced at me sharply and shook her head before she went back to trying to calm Justin.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "I'm sorry, son, I didn't meant to yell at your mother."

Justin looked over his shoulder at me and said hotly, "Not your son. Don't call me that. Go away. You can't be here, you hurt Mommy's feelings."

The world tumbled and it was like I had been sliced off at the knees. There was no way to keep the shock and pain from my face. Sookie made a little distressed sound and scooped him up. I think I tried to speak, but no words came out. My mind had gone completely blank as I tried to absorb the shock. There was no way he could have known that I was his father, but the quick slice of pain only grew into something worse.

Sookie looked at me, at a loss of what to do as much as I was, I think, and she whispered, "Maybe you should go."

I nodded and Quinn was there at my side, one hand clamped strongly on my shoulder. I heard the rumble of his voice but the static noise that had started blocked out whatever it was he said. He pushed me towards the truck and I stumbled that way. When he held the door open for me, I just slid in, completely numb all over. Sookie said something to him, because her mouth moved and he nodded before getting in and starting up the truck. When we pulled away, I turned to look at Sookie and Justin one last time.

Sookie had turned and Justin was patting her on the back. He looked up and our eyes met. The amount of anger and hate in that one gaze had me choking and I turned away. Quinn said nothing as I looked out the window and cried silently. I had just royally fucked up any chance of getting to know my son. I had yelled at his mother, expressed anger towards his mother, and he would hate me forever for that. Nothing colored a child's opinion more than how they saw a person treating their mother.

We were on the highway back to Shreveport before Quinn said anything. Maybe he waited to give me time to compose myself, or maybe he just had to work up the balls before saying anything. He glanced over at me and said, "What the hell just happened back there? Is he what I think he is?"

I let out a hoarse laugh. "Well, if you are thinking that four years ago, Sookie had my son and never said a damn thing to me, then yeah, he's what you think he is."

Quinn simply said, "Fuuuuuuck."

"I have a son."

"You have a son," Quinn repeated and he sounded amazed. "Who would have thought?"

"Certainly not me. Shit I fucked things up, Quinn, I fucked it all up real bad." I slammed my fist into the dash. "How could I have been so stupid."

"Slow down there, cowboy," Quinn said as he pulled off the highway into a deserted gas station. "First off, you didn't fuck things up, not on your own. The way I see it, there were mistakes on both sides. Sookie dropped a bombshell on you and you were shocked and angry, which is all understandable."

"I yelled at her and now my son thinks of me as a monster."

"No, he doesn't. He was scared for his mother. You didn't see his face when the yelling started, I did."

I glared at Quinn. "Great, so he's scared of me, that's even better."

"Alcide, don't make me smack you," Quinn let out a long sigh, "He was scared for his mother. I don't think he's ever heard anyone yell at her. He's a little boy who loves her, of course he's going to try and protect his mother. He doesn't know or understand why you were mad."

"So he hates me for yelling at her. You heard him, he doesn't like me."

"He doesn't know you." Quinn looked surprisingly patient. "Listen, just, don't beat yourself up over this. It was a clusterfuck to the extreme. Sookie needs to explain things to him, you need to think of how you are going to handle this. Then you and Sookie both need to talk things out. Get on the same damn page."

"I don't think I could handle it if he hated me, Quinn." I hated myself for sounding so weak, but that was how I felt. I'd already missed so much and if Justin hated me, Sookie wouldn't let me see him. She wouldn't force him into anything, I knew her that much.

"If the pity gets any thicker in here I might choke," Quinn drawled.

"Shut the fuck up."

"I will not. I'm not going to let you sit around feeling sorry for yourself. Bad shit happened, but it isn't the end of things. If you go on thinking the way you are, I wouldn't blame the kid for hating you. So get your head screwed back on and instead of thinking of the kid hating you, think of how you can fix it." Quinn looked at me then. "We'll fix this."

"We?" I asked with a slight twitch of my lips.

"Hell yes. You think I'm leaving now? The drama is just getting started. I think instead of heading out to sandy beaches in the Bahamas, I'll just stick around and see how things play out."

Which was his way of saying that he knew I needed a friend at my back and wouldn't just leave me. "Thanks man, I know what a sacrifice it is to give up those sexy men in thongs."

He snorted. "You can owe me." He pulled back out on the highway. "Hell, how about a drink? It's not even my baby daddy drama and I need a good stiff one."

"You can have the drink. I want a clear head."

"Whatever you say, Snookums."

I managed to work up enough energy to give him a halfhearted glare before turning my attention back to the passing scenery. The talk with Quinn helped some. I still couldn't get the picture of Justin screaming at me and the tears on Sookie's face. It would take a lot to fix what happened today, but I would. I would make it up, to both of them. I just had to get over the damn shock. I wasn't sure I'd ever trust Sookie again, and it would be hard as hell to gain trust with Justin, but I would. Somehow. If Sookie thought I'd walk now, she had another thing coming. I wasn't walking away again.

**Author's Notes: Hm, yeah. Intense chapter, don't ya think? Whatever will happen next? Tune in next week to find out! As for Justin, well, little boys love their mothers a lot. I know that my son, who is only three, will scream and try to hit someone who yells at me. He doesn't like it at all and I used that for Justin's reaction to Alcide. I think it's a normal reaction for a small child who sees a stranger yelling at their mother. Thanks for reading, hope you liked it. Leave a review and let me know what you thought, I'll do my best to respond.**


	8. Don't Give Up On Me

**Author's Notes: Early update since I have no idea what my schedule is going to be like for the rest of the week. I'm having car issues and if I get it fixed tomorrow, I may be driving down to my grandma's two days earlier and I won't have internet. So lucky you! Thanks to LindsayK for being my beta and for listening to agonize over this story and giving great feedback. I luffles you so hard.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SVM or the characters. **

**It's Your Song**

**Chapter Eight**

_I don't give you no good reasons, but baby don't give up on me._

_~Don't Give Up On Me by Jason Aldean_

**SPOV**

Justin clung to me as I turned away. I couldn't bear to watch Alcide drive out of my life again. My stomach rolled with nausea as I lowered my head to Justin's small shoulder. His hands patted at my back and I heard his voice in my ear.

"Don't worry, mommy. He won't hurt you." Justin pressed a wet kiss to my cheek. "Love you lots."

His words almost undid me. Here he was, four years old, the child, and he was ready to protect me. It wasn't supposed to be this way. I was the adult, the mother, I'm supposed to protect him. Who flipped the tables on us? I couldn't say anything, couldn't think of the right words.

Instead I just inhaled. I breathed in the subtle sugary scent of maple syrup that clung to him, the hint of watermelon left over from his bath wash, and underneath all that, the simple sweetness that was a small child. I stood there for so long in silence that it was only when I felt his shoulders tremble that I realized he was crying and trying not to let it show.

I rubbed my hand over his back and carried him over to the porch. I sat down on the steps and cradled him. He buried his head in my shoulder. "Oh baby, don't cry. It's going to be alright."

I felt his head move. "Nah-uh. That mean man yelled at you."

I blew out a breath. Shit. There was no way I could tell Justin that the 'mean man' was his father. Not right now. It would just be too terrible for both of them. But I also couldn't have Justin thinking that just because someone yelled at me it made them bad. He accepted that Amelia, Tray, and Jason on occasion yelled at me, mainly because I yelled back. He knew that sometimes adults just had to yell. But he had never witnessed a stranger yell at me.

I glanced up when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Amelia was looking down at us in concern. "Sookie?"

She turned my name into a question and I knew what she was asking. I could accept her help in explaining things to Justin, Lord knows it wouldn't be the first time that she's helped me find the right words. I wanted her help, but this was something I had to do for myself. I should have realized that there would have been yelling when I went out with Alcide and asked Amelia or Tray to occupy Justin so he didn't hear it. I had just been blindsided by his appearance that I didn't at all.

"We'll be fine. I know that you and Tray had plans for today. Don't think you have to stay on my account. I'll be fine." I finally said after some thought.

"Are you sure, because we don't mind staying," she said as she crouched next to me.

I shook my head, "No go on. You and Tray deserve some time together. We'll be just fine. Won't we, champ?"

Justin didn't pull away from me but he did nod. Amelia sighed and patted me on the shoulder. "Fine, but you call if anything, and I mean anything happens." Then she paused. "Sookie, I'm sorry. If I hadn't made you go to the concert-"

I cut her off, "No, you were right. It's time to stop hiding. Don't be sorry, you know that I need to be shoved in the right direction sometimes."

"Still, this isn't how I wanted it to be."

I let out a ragged breath. "I don't think any of us wanted it to be this way. But it will be fine. Alcide and I will work things out." _I hope_, I added silently.

Amelia studied me one last time then went to join Tray back in the house. He had gone back in after Alcide left, knowing that Amelia could handle me. I sat on the porch, cradling Justin and rocking him, until I heard them come out and head to Amelia's car. I didn't look at them, just stared silently out to the cemetery. Justin had drifted off to sleep in my arms. I let him sleep and carried him inside and to my room. I curled up with him, staring at the ceiling as he slept.

I laid there and couldn't stop my thoughts from turning to Alcide. Never had I ever seen him so angry. He had every right to be. But what got me the most, what sliced my heart in two, had been the look of utter loss on his face when Justin said he wasn't Alcide's son. I know that Justin didn't know any better and I'm pretty sure that Alcide knew as well, but it didn't stop the pain. Hell, even I felt shattered by Justin's innocent statement.

I wished that things had gone differently. I wish that Alcide had warned me he was coming over. Maybe I could have prepared him for Justin, or I could have sent Justin off with Amelia and Tray so that he didn't have to witness the blow up. I don't know what convinced me that Alcide would be calm about the fact I had a child, wishful thinking I guess. Even more, how on Earth did I expect him to behave rationally when he found out Justin was his?

I'd had almost five years with Justin and I knew how I would have reacted if I just found out I had a child. I would have done the same thing Alcide did. I had been a complete fool in keeping his child from him. So utterly selfish. My biggest regret was not telling Alcide that I was pregnant. If I could go back and change things, well, I wouldn't. As much as it hurt now, I knew it would get better. I held on to that hope. I could live with my regrets, but I wasn't sure if I could have lived with being the one that held Alcide back.

Justin shifted away from me and curled up in a small ball. I slid off the bed and covered him up with the blanket. He would sleep a while and since I couldn't sit still, I might as well get some of the housework done. I did as much of the quiet work as I could, dusting, sweeping, mopping, scrubbing windows. I gathered up all the laundry and did that. I cleaned the kitchen, even scrubbed the stove until it sparkled.

I worked until I was exhausted. Keeping my hands busy and focusing on the cleaning kept me from thinking about Alcide. By the time I finished with the floors, they were clean enough to eat off of. I was rearranging the entertainment center when I heard a noise behind me. I turned to see Justin rub his eyes sleepily.

"Hey there, baby, did you have a good nap?" I asked as he ran over to me.

He wrapped one arm around my waist and leaned against me. "I like sleeping in your bed. It's big."

I smiled. "Yes it is. You feeling better?"

There was a nod, then he asked, "Is that bad man coming back?"

While he slept, I thought about that particular subject a lot. I placed the Cars movie back on the shelf and led him over the couch. We sat down with him snuggled up against my side. I wrapped a arm around his little shoulders and stroked his hair. "Justin, you can't keep calling him the bad man."

"He yelled at you. That's bad," Justin said firmly.

Oh lord. How was it that children saw things in such black and white terms when adults always had to examine the shades of gray? I sighed. "Yes, he did yell at me, but Justin you know that sometimes adults yell at each other and it isn't bad."

"Like Aunt Mellie and Unca Tray."

"Yes, exactly like that."

"But, Mommy, Aunt Mellie and Unca Tray love each other so it's okay if they yell." He turned his head to look up at me. "Does that man love you?"

"Ah," I said, not really sure how to answer that question. Alcide had loved me once, but whether or not he still did or even could was up in the air. "Well it's like this, sweetie. Alcide and I used to be close. We loved each other very much once when we were young."

"He doesn't love you now?"

"I don't know," I answered honestly, "See, Mommy did something to hurt Alcide. I hurt him a lot. That's why he was yelling at me, because he was mad at me for hurting him."

"You mean like how I yell at you when you take away my toy cars when I don't pick up my room?"

"Pretty close to it. But, Mommy always gives you back your cars when you've been good. I can't give back Alcide what I took from him. So that made him extra mad."

"Did you eat his share of pie? Cause that really makes me mad when Unca Tray eats my pie." Justin blinked up at me and smiled slyly, "But you always make me an extra special pie. Can't you do that for the man?"

I was fighting between being serious and laughing. Justin had just narrowed down my situation with Alcide to having his toys and pie taken away from him. Such a simple analogy that fit so well. I pinched his cheeks and said, "It isn't that simple, honey. I can't just bake away this hurt."

"You should try. Your pie is yummy. Everyone loves your pie."

"Maybe I'll try that. But you understand that he wasn't being bad when he yelled at me? He was just angry."

"Is he sorry? If he's sorry then it's okay." Justin sounded worried.

I tried to smile even though I wanted to cry. "I'm sure he's sorry. Sometimes when adults get mad, they say things they don't mean."

"Unca Jay is always saying things he doesn't mean to Aunt Crystal."

That was a can of worms I did not want to open. I did not want Alcide and mine's relationship compared to the twisted one that my brother had with his wife Crystal. I didn't even want to think about Crystal. Jason had been a real idiot when he married Crystal, but since we came from a family that took vows seriously, he wouldn't divorce her.

"Justin, Jason and Crystal are different, alright?" I left it at that. "Alcide just needs some time to think and I need to talk to him again."

"I don't want you to if he's going to yell at you again. I don't like him yelling at you."

I went quiet and thought about what to tell Justin. I didn't really have any explanation as to why Alcide would yell at me again, though he had every right too. I wanted to tell Justin that Alcide was his father, but that didn't seem fair to me. Justin shouldn't find out like this. He should have a chance to get to know Alcide and learn that Alcide wasn't a bad man. I didn't even know if Alcide was going to stick around to get to know Justin. For all I knew he was heading back to Nashville right about now. It wouldn't be fair to Justin until I knew exactly what Alcide planned.

"Justin, sometimes adults just need to yell. It doesn't make them bad," I finally said. "That doesn't make it right, but it just happens."

Justin screwed up his face in a stubborn look. "I don't like it."

I gave him a stern look. "You don't have to like it. How about this, I promise that the next time you see Alcide, he won't be yelling."

"Do I have to see him again?"

That broke my heart. I swallowed hard to get the lump out of my throat. "I think that it would be a good idea if you see him again, when things are calmer. Alcide wasn't at his best today, I surprised him."

"When will I see him again?"

I answered honestly. "I really don't know. Alcide is very angry with me. He might not want to come around for a while."

"It's okay if he doesn't. I'll love you enough so you don't have to be sad." Justin turned and gave me an angelic smile.

I stroked a finger across his still chubby cheek. "I love you too baby. Just promise me something," I waited for him to nod that he was listening, "Next time you see Alcide, give him a chance. Don't hold what happened here today against him."

Justin screwed up his face into what I called his thinking face. His brow wasere rowed and lips pursed together. I waited patiently, knowing that if I pushed him, he'd be difficult. Finally he nodded. "I'll try."

"That's all I ask. Thank you."

Justin snuggled back against me and laid his head on my breast. I wrapped my arms around him and rubbed his back. We sat there in the quiet and listened to the birds serenade us from outside. I wasn't sure if Justin completely understood everything, but I was almost positive that he would react better to Alcide the next time he saw him. We sat like that for a while, until Justin was unable to sit still any longer. I was surprised he went so long sitting still. He was a very active child and would rather run than walk.

I had promised to take him to the park today, but after the episode with Alcide, I didn't feel like doing anything in public. So I changed into one of my bathing suits and took Justin outside to play in the small wading pool. He loved his pool time, mainly because he got to run around naked. It wasn't much of a pool, one of those small plastic ones you got at Wal-Mart for ten dollars. It was just big enough for him to sit and splash in, which was really what he wanted to do.

I set up my folding chaise lounge close enough to keep an eye on him but far enough away that he couldn't splash me. Justin hopped into the pool, the water warmed by the sun, and began to sing one of his nonsense songs. I slipped my sunglasses on and stretched out on the chaise. I left the radio I normally played when we were outside off. I had no desire to hear one of Alcide's songs.

We had been outside for about an hour when I heard a truck pull up the driveway. I slid my sunglasses down and saw that it was Jason's black truck. Jason climbed down and I saw Crystal pouting in the passenger side. Great, just great. The last thing I wanted to deal with today was my brother and his trashy wife.

Jason strolled over to me, hooking his sunglasses on the collar of his shirt. Justin looked up from his boats and screamed with delight. He shot out of the pool, water flying, and hurled himself at Jason. I didn't agree with Jason on a lot of things and I didn't approve of his hasty marriage to Crystal, but I could never fault him when it came to Justin. Jason was nearly the perfect uncle. When it came to Justin, there wasn't anything that Jason wouldn't do.

Jason crouched and caught Justin, not even caring that he was wet and naked. Justin erupted into giggles when Jason tickled him and flipped him upside down. Even though I knew Jason wouldn't drop Justin, I still felt a little lurch in my stomach as Justin shrieked his delight at being upside down.

"Hello, Jason," I said when he finally flipped Justin right side up, "What brings you out here today?"

Jason tousled Justin's hair. "I ran into Amelia and Tray at Merlotte's."

"Oh," I said with a sigh. I knew that Amelia would tell Jason that Alcide had come by and the episode that followed. I was actually touched that Jason came out. I didn't know if it was to offer me comfort or to scold me, but at least he came out and that was something. I glanced at the truck. Crystal was still sitting in it, with a very cross expression on her face. I rolled my eyes towards the truck. "What crawled up her ass?"

Jason shrugged and set Justin down. "She's just mad because I was going to take her into Shreveport to do something shopping and came here instead."

Well that certainly explained her cross mood. Crystal disliked me as much as I disliked her. Unlike me, Crystal didn't bother hiding her dislike. I glared at Jason. "Great, because I need another reason to make Crystal hate me."

"She doesn't hate you."

"The hell she doesn't," I said, but let it drop. "Jason, you didn't have to come out here."

"Amelia didn't tell me what happened, just that he showed up." Jason went and grabbed one of the lawn chairs and dragged it over so he could sit next to me. "Why don't you tell me?"

"You really want to get into this while your wife is sitting pissed off in the truck?"

Jason glanced over to the truck. "She can get out if she wants. Her arms and legs aren't broken."

"Oh Jason, you really are an idiot." I sighed. "There isn't much to tell. Amelia dragged me to his concert last night. We went backstage because she had passes. We saw each other, talked some."

"You didn't tell him last night?"

"No," I said with a glare. "I was going to call and make plans to have lunch tomorrow and tell him then, but he went and showed up this morning." I blinked rapidly. Apparently I still did not have my emotions under control and I did not want to cry in front of Jason. "It could have gone better."

Jason glanced over at Justin, who was back in his pool and drowning his boats. "How bad was it?"

"Pretty bad, Jase. He was furious. Plus, Justin overheard and came out yelling at him," I sighed and stared down at my hands. "I really screwed up."

"Sookie."

I shook my head. "No, I screwed up. You told me, Amelia told me, Tara told me when she found out. Everyone told me I should tell him, but I didn't. I'm paying for that now."

"What are you going to do?" Jason asked, not bothering to deny or try and tell me I was wrong. I hated that sometimes, how bluntly honest Jason could be.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I have no idea on how to fix it." I stared down at my hands and said softly, "I don't even know if it can be fixed."

"Anything can be fixed," Jason said optimistically.

"Jason, this isn't some water heater that can be fixed with a new part. I kept," and I waved my hand towards Justin, "from Alcide for almost five years. You don't just forgive and forget that."

Jason leaned back in his chair and ran a hand through his hair. "You know, you and Alcide had some rough times. But there's something I do know, that man loves you, he never stopped."

"You can't know that," I protested.

"Don't I?" Jason gave me a long look. "Do you know what the first words out of his mouth were when I called and told him about Gran?" I mutely shook my head and Jason went on, "How is Sookie?"

I looked away. "That doesn't mean anything."

"Then he said, 'Don't tell her, but I'm on my way. I'll be there as soon as I can. She'll need me.' Do you know what that tells me Sookie?"

"That he knew how much Gran meant to me?"

Jason leaned forward then and rested his elbows on his knees. "No, it tells me that even after that awful fight ya'll had, even after five years apart, that he was willing to drop everything to come and be with you because he knew you were hurting. You don't just do something like that unless you love someone."

I looked at Jason as if I was seeing him for the first time. With the exception of scolding me on not telling Alcide about Justin, Jason pretty much stayed out of my love life. Not that I had much of one in any case. But he never said anything about Alcide until now.

"Maybe he did love me then, but he doesn't now," I said quietly.

"How do you know? Have you talked to him again?" Jason asked.

I shook my head. "No, he left and I haven't heard from him. He probably doesn't want to see me again."

"You'll never know unless you call him. I bet he's still in Shreveport. Alcide doesn't strike me as the type of guy to run. Sookie, you need to talk to him and soon." I couldn't believe that my brother was giving me advice. It struck me as funny that he was advising me on what to do with Alcide when he couldn't even fix his own marriage.

"I'll call him tomorrow," I said, "Give him time to calm down."

"Or you can call him now so it doesn't fester. From the way I understand, you were both surprised this morning. Call him now and arrange to have dinner with him," Jason grinned at me, "If anything, you can wheedle a nice dinner out of him."

I rolled my eyes. "Good plan there, Jason, but you are forgetting one thing. Justin? I can't take him with me. He's upset with Alcide for yelling at me and it's just too soon for him to see him again."

Jason gave me a smug grin. "Get him dressed and pack him a bag. I'll keep him tonight."

If I had been holding something, I'd drop it. Jason never kept Justin for more than a few hours. "What would Crystal say about that?"

"Crystal can shove it." Oh yeah, that was typical Jason. Nice to know he hasn't changed too much. I don't think I could handle it.

"Jason, you should talk to her about it. It isn't fair to her that you just offer to take him overnight without talking to her first, she is your wife," I said sternly. Honestly, while I appreciated his gesture, I did not want my son around Crystal that long. She was polite enough around him, but when he wasn't around, she didn't bother to sugarcoat how she thought of me for being a single mother. Bitch.

"If I got her to agree to it, would you do it?" Jason asked.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Why are you doing this Jason? Seriously, why are you pushing this."

"Aw hell Sook," Jason said and he flushed and looked embarrassed. "I don't like seeing you like this. You're my little sister, I want you to be happy. Alcide is the only one that can do that."

I was touched by his words and leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek. "You are a good brother, Jason. Fine, if Crystal agrees, I'll let you take Justin, but not for the night."

"Deal. I'll go talk to her and you fix him up whatever he'll need."

"I think I'll hold off on that until you talk to Crystal," I said dryly.

Jason grinned and winked at me. "She might be mad at me, but she can't resist that Stackhouse charm."

He got up and walked over to the truck. I watched him but turned away when he climbed into talk to Crystal. She would be pissed at him and I didn't want to see the fight they'd have. I stood up and called out to Justin. "Come on sweetie, let's go in and get you dressed."

He hopped out of the pool and came running over to me. He turned on his puppy dog eyes and pleaded while I wrapped a towel around him, "Please can I play some more? I was having fun."

"No, it's time to go inside," I said as I scooped him up and blew a raspberry on his belly, "You, little mister, are turning into a prune."

"Prunes are icky. Nooooo," he giggled when I flipped him over to carry him across my shoulders. "Is Unca Jay leaving?"

"No he had to talk to Aunt Crystal real fast, then he'll come inside," I answered as I carried him up the steps and into the house. I set him down and gave him a pat on the behind. "Go get dried off and dressed."

He took off running to his bedroom and I headed into the kitchen to fix us something to drink. I fixed up Jason a glass of ice tea as well. Justin came running back into the kitchen five minutes later and held his arms out for inspection. He had put on a pair of his denim shirts and his favorite Mickey Mouse shirt. I checked to make sure that he had put his underwear on right since he had a tendency to put it on backwards. All was good in that department so I let him sit at the table and gave him his juice and some dried apple slices to snack on.

I was staring into the freezer, trying to decide what I'd fix for dinner when Jason, and much to my surprise, Crystal came walking into the kitchen. Crystal wore a disgruntled expression but Jason was grinning. He crouched down next to Justin's seat. "Hey buddy, how would you like to go spend the afternoon and evening with me and Aunt Crystal?"

Justin gave me a look. "Can I, really?"

I fought the smile that teased my lips. "Oh, I don't know. Do you promise to be good?"

He nodded quickly. "I'll behave."

"Do you promise to miss me?"

"Oh Mommy, I always miss you," he said as if I was silly for doubting that.

I grinned and winked at him. "Then I suppose that it's fine with me."

"Yay!" Justin screamed and threw his arms around Jason's neck. "Can I bring my new truck? It dances!"

"Does it really?" Jason asked as he carried Justin back to his room to get his backpack of toys that went with Justin whenever he visited Jason. Crystal refused to keep toys in the house, something that annoyed Jason and I both, but it was a win we let her have since Justin could bring toys with him.

I looked at Crystal who was giving me the stink eye. "Thanks for agreeing to take him for the rest of the day. I won't be too late picking him up."

She huffed out a breath, blowing her bangs out of her eyes. As far as looks go, Crystal was pretty enough. She had dark black hair that had just enough curl to it to give it that permanent bedroom hair look. She had dark brown eyes that were framed by thick lashes. Her body was nice enough, though not as curvy as mine. What made Crystal not pretty to me was the way she carried herself and acted. She walked around like she was carrying a chip on her shoulder the size of a oak tree and she was pretty much nasty to anyone who talked to her.

She was a bitch and really, Jason should never have married her, even if she had been pregnant with his child. She had a miscarriage, and while I felt sorry for her, she acted as if it gave her the right to treat everyone like crap and we had to feel sorry for her. My sorries went out the door a year ago. She actually told me I didn't deserve Justin since I couldn't keep a man around. We nearly came to blows. Tray had to pull me away from her before I started throwing punches and Jason kicked her out, but she was back living with him two weeks later.

"Wasn't like he gave me much of a choice," she muttered. Her voice was very husky, one of those phone sex voices.

I chose to ignore that. I didn't want to know what Jason promised or threatened her with to get her to agree to Justin coming over. Hell, I was half hoping that she'd go off to her sister's place over in Hotshot while Justin was there. "Well, I appreciate it all the same. I got some stuff to take care of."

"Why couldn't your little friend and her man keep him?" Crystal asked me sharply. Guess she really was pissed about not going into Shreveport. So much for the Stackhouse charm.

I stared evenly at her. "Amelia and Tray may live with me but they aren't live in babysitters. They had their own plans for today."

"Just seems like if they are going to be living here in this nice house that they could keep your kid instead of Jason." Crystal glared back at me.

I counted to ten. "There is nothing wrong with Jason wanting to keep his nephew for a few hours. If you are so upset about it, you can go off to your sister's. I'm not going to feel sorry for you."

"Well you should. It's your fault we stopped here instead of going into Shreveport," Crystal spat at me.

"I didn't ask Jason to come by. He's just being a good brother. But I don't expect you to understand that at all," I replied tightly while thinking, _'Selfish bitch.'_

Crystal didn't say anything and just settled for glaring hotly at me. I ignored her as I packed up some of Justin's favorite snacks and juice boxes. I tossed in a jar of Gran's strawberry jam since I knew Jason loved it. I preferred her blackberry jam, so I supplied Jason with his strawberry fix. I used Gran's recipe when making the jam and according to Jason, I made it nearly as well as Gran.

Jason and Justin came back into the kitchen carrying two bags of toys. I rolled my eyes when Jason asked, his eyes bright, "Where in the world did you find him a truck that sings and dances to M.C. Hammer's Can't Touch This?"

"There was a Mustang too!" Justin said with a gleam in his eyes, "We got it at Wal-Mart. The Mustang sang Life Is A Highway, like the song from Cars."

I could see his little devious mind working and knew that when he came back home, he'd have the Mustang to add to his impressive toy car collection. I can't say I minded. Those singing and dancing cars were pretty damn cute and fun to watch. Even though I knew it was useless, I warned Jason. "Don't you go buying him any more toys. He's got a birthday coming up and doesn't need anything until then. And go easy on the sugar intake."

"Don't worry, Sis, I'll take good care of him. We are going to go to the park," Jason said with a broad grin. Crystal looked like she was going to protest and he stared her down.

Justin had climbed up on one of the chairs and held out his shoes to me. We were working on learning how to tie them, but he had picked out one of the pairs with Velcro straps. So it was a simple matter of him telling me what foot to put the shoe on and securing the strap. When I was done, he threw his arms around me and gave me a big hug. Then he slid down and grabbed his backpack. "Come on, Unca Jay, let's go!"

"So eager to get away from me?" I asked with a laugh as I stood up.

"Unca Jay is taking me to the paaaaaaaaaaark, Mommy," he said, dragging out the word park like it was Disney World.

I laughed at that and looked at Jason. "You take care of my boy."

"Gotcha. Come on, buddy, let's go. I'll see you later, Sookie."

"Bye, Mommy." Justin raced out the door. Jason followed him and Crystal shot me one last dirty look before she walked out. I listened until I heard the truck start up and leave. Then I just stood in the kitchen. What in the hell was I supposed to do now?

Jason wanted me to see Alcide, but frankly, I wasn't even sure if he would answer if I called. I wasn't sure I wanted him to answer. I was scared. I didn't want to fight with Alcide and I was afraid that if we saw each other so soon that we'd end up fighting. I wasn't sure that there was anything I could say that would prevent fighting.

I put away the dishes that I washed earlier before heading back to my room. I straightened up the bed and stretched out on top of it. My phone sat on the bedside table and I kept looking at it, as if it would give me all the answers to every question I had.

Would Alcide want to see me? Did he hate me as much as I hated myself? Had he just said screw it and flew back to Nashville? Would he ever forgive me?

The phone had no answers and I groaned. Maybe I could just ignore Jason's orders on seeing Alcide and head over to the clinic and get caught up on paperwork. Shit, I couldn't do that. Jason took Justin so I could have the time to talk to Alcide and dammit I should have the balls to at least call the man. Muttering to myself about being a wimp, I reached over and grabbed my phone. I took a deep breath and hit the call back option and called Alcide.

This time I didn't smile when I heard the ring-back tone. I felt a cold ball form in my stomach when the phone continued to ring. I don't know what I had been thinking, of course he wasn't going to answer the phone. He knew my number, he might have even saved it to his contact list. Why would he answer if he knew it was me.

I felt tears sting my eyes when I came to the realization that he wasn't going to answer. I was about to hang up. There was no way I was going to be one of those women who left pathetic voice mails. I wouldn't lower myself to that. Before I could end the call, I heard a beep and a deep voice say, "Hello?"

"Er, hi?" I answered as my mind went completely blank. It was not Alcide on the other end.

"Sookie?" asked the voice.

I swallowed hard. "Yes, this is Sookie."

"You calling to talk to Alcide?"

No, I just dialed the wrong number. I bit back that sarcastic response and replied, "Yes, if it isn't too much trouble."

"I, ah, don't know if he wants to talk to you right now." There was shuffling on the other end, followed by a low hiss. I was thrown back to the one time in college when I made Amelia answer my phone because this guy kept calling me. I had been in the room with her and made similar noises as she talked to him. The memory teased a smile out of me. The man who answered the phone must be Quinn, the guitarist from last night and who came with Alcide to the house.

I shook off that memory, disliking the twisting in my gut it caused. "No, that's fine, I don't expect him to. I don't even know why I called. I apologize for bothering you."

"Wait," he said then I heard a low growl and the slamming of a door, "why exactly did you call?"

I hesitated a second before saying, "I'm not really sure if that is any of your business."

"Listen lady," Quinn said sharply, "that is my friend you shattered today and I'm the one left to hold together the pieces. I don't know you, except what Alcide has told you about me, so frankly I don't give a flying shit about your feelings. What I do care about is the fact that you dropped a fucking bomb on him today, shattered his reality, made him doubt himself, and now you call to what? Drive the stake in deeper? I don't think so."

Each word made me feel worse about myself. Someone I didn't even know was tearing into me for what I had done and he had every right to. It is the same thing I'd expect Amelia to do if someone hurt me. That just made it worse.

"You're right," I said, struggling to keep my voice even, "but I didn't call to drive the stake in deeper. I called because you have no idea how much it hurts me to know that Alcide is hurting. Yes, I screwed up and I deserve every ounce of anger he has for me. But his son doesn't and that is what I wanted to talk to him about. I have something for him."

"What?"

"Now that is personal and really isn't your business," I snapped, "But it isn't something that will hurt him, at least I don't think so. It's something that just might make things a little bit better. I'm sure you think I'm a bitch, and maybe I am, but I'm not heartless. So will you please pass that message along and see if he'll talk to me?"

Quinn was silent for several moments and I feared he was going to hang up on me. Then he said, "Fine, hold on. I'll have him call you back if he wants to talk to you."

"Thank you." I hung up before he could hang up on me. With my phone in hand, I walked into the living room and got on the computer. I pulled a small box of memory cards out of the drawer and started on my project. Most of it was done, but I had gotten lax over the last year, so I had some additions to make. Painstakingly, I went through each card until I found the files I wanted. Then I copied all of them and burned them to a DVD. That finished, I took out several more DVD cases and added the new one to the pile and labeled them all. Those went into a small box with the name ALCIDE stenciled on the top.

The entire time I worked, I waited for Alcide to call back. I had already decided that if he didn't call back, then I would have the package sent to the hotel. The trouble was finding out what hotel Alcide was staying at. Surely it could be that hard.

Just when I had decided that Alcide wasn't going to be calling me back, my phone rang. I stared at the display when his number flashed. It took every ounce of courage I possessed to answer the phone. "Hello, Alcide, thanks for calling me back."

"Don't thank me, thank Quinn. He seems to think that you are sincere. What do you have for me?" Alcide snapped each word off like he was reading from a cue card.

I closed my eyes. "I can't really explain it over the phone. Will you meet me somewhere?"

"Give me one reason why I should?" He asked coldly.

I exhaled slowly. "Because I know that you want to know more about Justin. That's what I'm offering. It's nothing to do with us, Alcide, and all to do about him."

"That's low, Sookie."

Was it wrong that I was moved to the point of tears because he didn't call me Kitten? Probably. I didn't deserve any kind of affection from him. "It's the truth. Alcide, I can't say anything to make you forgive me or to make things better. But I can tell you about your son and attempt to give back what you've lost. That's all."

"Why even bother? He doesn't like me."

I heard the pain in his voice and winced. "That's not true. He was confused and I talked to him about it."

"Did you tell him that I was his father?"

I should have expected this question. In all honesty, I don't know why it caught me by surprise, but it did. I could have lied, Lord knows I've had practice, but the time for lies was over. "Not yet."

"I see."  
"Don't say it like that. I didn't tell him because the time isn't right. Would you rather he find out that your his father the day he saw you screaming at me or when he has a chance to get to know you?"

There was a long pause. "We can meet in the hotel lounge. Ten minutes, Sookie, that's all you get."

"I won't even need that. Thank you." I grabbed a pen and paper and wrote down the name of his hotel and tried not to whistle. It was a sign of how far he had come. Even before Alcide had found out about Justin I had hoped that maybe we could work things out between him. But now I wasn't so sure. Alcide had certainly moved on from Bon Temps. I swallowed a sigh and said, "I'll be there in an hour, if that's alright."

"Fine." He hung up without saying good bye. I lowered my phone and stared at the blinking numbers noting how long the call had lasted. Less than ten minutes. It served to drive home the differences between Alcide now and the Alcide I had fallen in love with.

I pushed away all those thoughts and headed to the bedroom to change. I didn't bother dressing up for him, it wouldn't impress him so why bother? I pulled on a pair of jean shorts and a cami top and pulled a short sleeved button down shirt over top of that. I slid my feet into a pair of flip flops and brushed out my hair.

I gathered up the box, a couple photo albums, and my keys before I lost my nerve. If I thought about it too long, I'd back out. Now that I knew what hotel he was staying at it would be all to easy to go to the post office tomorrow and overnight the package to him. It was really tempting and I actually stood on the porch for five minutes to debate with myself over it. In the end I told myself to grow a pair and got into my SUV. I'd go and drop off the package and come back. Maybe I'd pick up a pizza or two and go to Jason's for dinner. Anything to soothe the hurt to come.

**Author's Notes: While writing this chapter I realized something, it is very difficult to write Jason as an asshole. Crystal however, well that wasn't hard at all. And I just love writing Justin. Whatever could Sookie have for Alcide? Tune in next week to see. Mwahaha. Thanks for reading and leave me some reviews!**


	9. Stolen Moments

**Author's Notes: We return with another chapter! Time to find out what Sookie is going to give Alcide though many of you had really good guesses. I don't feel as sneaky now. Thanks to LindsayK for being an awesome beta and sounding board. Um minor tissue warning this chapter? I can't really say if you'll need them or not, depends on how easily you cry. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own SVM or the characters.**

**It's Your Song**

**Chapter Nine**

_Stolen moments are all we have to get us through this lifetime_

~Stolen Moments by Jim Witter 

**APOV**

Quinn turned to me with the phone in hand. "She wants to see you."

"I don't want to see her."

"She said it was about Justin."

That made me pause and stare at him. "I don't believe her."

"I do," he said with a shrug. "I don't know her that well, but she's too upset to lie."

"Tell me you aren't on her side."

"I'm not, but I do think you should at least talk to her. She said she had something for you. Something about Justin."

I gave him a hard look. "You really think I should call her?"

"I think that after since she's the one who you've been pining after for five years, you should allow her a chance to explain."

"How can she explain? What excuse could she possibly have to explain what she did?" I demanded with a hot glare.

Quinn gave a shrug and offered me the phone. "Why don't you ask her? She's the only one that can answer."

I growled and rose from the bar to pace the length of the room. He had a point and whatever it was that she wanted, it must be important if she was wanting to talk to me now. I gnawed on my lower lip and finally took the phone from Quinn. He shot me a cocky grin and went to rummage through the snacks that hotels charged ten bucks a pop for. He munched while I spoke to Sookie. It was hard talking to her. I had to throttle back the urge to scream into the phone. The only thing she said that made me feel even slightly better was when she explained that she talked to Justin and that the next time we saw each other, it should go over smoother. It was the hope of seeing him again that made me agree to meet her in the hotel lounge.

We hung up and I looked at Quinn. "She's on her way over. We are going to meet in the lounge."

"You don't want to do that there."

"Why the hell not?"

"It's too public. Do you really want that particular conversation overheard and reported to the tabloids? Just imagine the field day that will be."

I winced and groaned. I never even considered that. It would be a feeding frenzy if word ever got out that I had a son and didn't know about him. The press loved that kind of scandal. I didn't want to risk things becoming public until Sookie and I knew what we were going to do. I would not put Justin through that kind of shit. I flipped open the phone and sent Sookie a quick text with the my room number and told her to come here instead of the lounge. Her only response was an okay. As much as I didn't want her in my room, it was the lesser of two evils.

Quinn stretched and clapped me on the shoulder. "I'll be back later."

"Whoa, where are you going?" I asked as I stared at him.

He just stared at me for a moment then said, "Well, I thought that I would give the two of you some privacy."

"I wouldn't mind if you stayed. Might keep me from throttling her," I said, only half joking.

He chucked lowly. "You wouldn't do that, at least not yet. I'll go call Bobby and let him know that we'll drive in tonight."

"Hell, I forgot about that."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of things. I already spoke with the driver and he knows we aren't leaving just yet. I have to tell you, the boys are rather happy about staying a bit longer. They like blowing their money at the casinos."

"Thanks, Quinn, I owe you." I gave him a weak smile, my attention already shifting to Sookie's visit. He left then and I was alone. I flipped on the TV and channel surfed for awhile but that didn't hold my attention long. Instead, I thought about having to go back to Nashville and how long it would take me to finish up business there so I could come back. Make no mistake about it, I was coming back. I wouldn't even leave if I didn't have appearances to make.

Thirty minutes after Quinn left there was a knock on the door. I glared at it, my anger coming back to me and walked over to open it. Sookie stared up at me nervously, a box and some kind of photo albums cradled in her arms. "Thanks for seeing me."

"You get ten minutes," I said gruffly and held the door open, "Come on in."

Sookie nodded and walked in. "Still, I'm grateful for the time you'll give me. Alcide-"

She sounded like she was going to apologize and I cut her off. "I don't want to hear you're sorry, because that just isn't good enough. Why on Earth would you keep something like that from me?"

I had spoken harshly and she winced as if I had struck her. "I told you already."

"That's bullshit. Plenty of performers have families and make it just fine."

"You were just starting," she said softly. "I didn't want to be a distraction to you."

"What kind of insane logic is that?"

"You once said that it was your dream to become a singer. In fact, you wanted it enough that you walked away from us. How was I supposed to know you wouldn't make the same choice again?" she asked bitterly, her blue eyes boring holes into me.

I simply stared at her. "Out of everyone that knows me, Sookie, you should have been the one to know that I would never walk away from my child."

"You are right, you wouldn't. But you would have walked away from your dreams and I couldn't let you do that."

"I wouldn't have had to give up anything," I said firmly.

"Really? Are you so sure of that?" she asked as she walked out onto the terrace and stared down at the hotel pool.

"Yes," I said without hesitation as I sat at the table.

"If you say so." She sat across from me, hands folded over the box and albums she had set on the table. "We need to talk about what happens next."

"I don't think now is a good time for that. You only have ten minutes," I said quickly. I was in no mood to get involved with the kind of talk she meant. I needed more time to come to terms with the fact I was a father.

Fire flashed in her eyes and she looked more like the old Sookie I knew. Her voice was tight when she spoke, "I think that it would be best if we talked about everything now, so it doesn't have time to fester."

"Maybe I want it to fester."

"It isn't about what you want, or what I want, Alcide," she said quietly, "It's about us reaching some sort of understanding for Justin. Despite what you might think of me, I do want you to know him and I'm sorry, but until we deal with our issues, that won't be possible."

I leaned forward and fought the surge of anger. "You will not keep me from my son."

She gazed back at me calmly. "I never said I would, however, I will not let him be dragged into the middle of this. He is completely innocent and I won't have him become part of some tug-of-war between the two of us." She drew in a breath, "So either we sit here and talk about what happened and the changes we'll both end up having to make, or I just leave and you won't get to spend nearly enough time with Justin."

"You can't keep me from him," I repeated again. I was starting to sound like a broken clock.

She glanced away and minutes passed before she finally looked back at me. "Alcide, I won't let your anger at me scare my son. I won't. If you can't accept that, then, maybe you've changed more than I thought you could." She rose and nudged the box and albums towards me. "Since you don't want to talk, here. Watch what's in the box, look in the albums. Maybe I was a bitch for keeping Justin from you, but I had my reasons. You might not care for them, but that," and she pointed at the box, "is proof I'm not the heartless bitch you think I am. I may not be able to give back the time missed, but I can give you the memories you missed."

I stared at the box and didn't look over as she crossed the room and let herself out. Before the door closed though, I heard a quiet sob. Despite my anger, my first instinct was to jump and go to her and hold her. In the past, all Sookie had to do was cry and I would come undone. I can stand any other woman's tears, but not Sookie's. I pushed that urge down. I wouldn't go to her, I wouldn't let her tears erase what I was feeling.

I was still so angry at her. How could she have kept this from me? I didn't care what her excuses were, she was right about that, she had taken something that was us and twisted it. She had taken the reins of control and made a decision that altered how I would see her forever. I could never look at her and see the innocent girl I had fallen in love with. Now all I would see was her betrayal. The one pure thing I had held onto for all these years was tainted now.

I stared at the box and albums for a long time. Long enough that Quinn came back from whatever his errand was. He came out onto the terrace and just stared at me, arms crossed over his chest. The silence grew and finally I looked at him. "What?"

"Well, how did it go?"

I nudged the box with one finger. "She brought this, told me to look at them."

"Have you?" Quinn let out a long, suffering sigh when I shook my head no. "What are you waiting on?"

"To wake up and find that all of this is one horrible nightmare," I answered honestly.

Quinn reached over and punched me in the arm, hard. When I yelped and glared at him, he said, "There, it isn't a nightmare."

"Feels like one."

"Oh for fuck's sake, Alcide, stop being a woman," Quinn said sharply, "What the fuck man? I didn't think you were the emo type, it doesn't look good on you. Man up, look at what she gave you. Did it ever once cross your mind that maybe, just maybe, she realizes how much she's hurt you and she's trying to make it better? Or are you too wrapped up in your anger and self pity that you lost what brains you have?"

I came out of my chair so fast that it went flying. I grabbed Quinn by the front of his shirt and glared at him. "Don't you fucking talk to me like that. You have no idea what I'm feeling."

"You're right, I don't. But I do know that if you just sit there and brood you'll do something stupid. Hasn't there been enough stupid mistakes made in this situation?"

"She said she wouldn't let me see Justin if we don't work things out."

"Can you really blame her? Look at you, you're a fucking bundle of rage. You can't even control it. Would you want someone like that around your child?"

I let go of him slowly and backed away. I couldn't believe how close I came to hitting him. In a way, Quinn replaced Sookie in my life. He became a confidant, a valued friend, and I trusted him as much as I had trusted Sookie before we broke up. Quinn always told it like it was and never pulled his punches, which is one thing I valued about our friendship. Here he was, doing what he's always done, and I was ready to attack him. He was right, I was a bundle of rage.

"Sorry," I muttered.

"Chill, there isn't anything to apologize for. I get the anger, I really do Alcide, but you got to control it better. You have to talk to Sookie and reach some sort of understanding so that you can see your son. You may have lost these last five years, but she is willing to let you in his life, and by association, her life. You can't fuck this up." He spoke as he poured two glasses of whiskey and carried one over to me.

"Why does it have to be me that doesn't fuck it up?" I asked as I stared into the whiskey.

"Because she's already taken the first step," he said and gestured towards the box. "It's up to you to take the next one."

"Shit," I mumbled, knowing he was right. I glanced at the albums sitting on top of the box and noticed a piece of paper sticking out of the first one. I reached over and nabbed it. I read it quickly and put it down. "She said to watch the DVDs in the box first."

"So, go watch them."

I lifted the whiskey to my lips and took a quick swallow. The burn gong down my throat made it easier to ask, "I can't watch this alone, so will you stay?"

I glanced up to see him shift from foot to foot uncomfortably. Then he sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Sure, I'll stay, as long as you need me to."

"Thanks," I said and meant it. I had no idea what was on those DVDs, but from the note, it sounded like it was going to be something I either hated or liked. If it was something I hated, I knew that Quinn would be the only one to talk me down. He didn't like intruding, because that was how he would see it, but he would stay.

I carried the box into the hotel room and set up the DVD player. He carried the bottle of whiskey with him as he sat on the bed. When I looked at him, he gave me a tight smile. "Not for you. You aren't getting drunk."

I glared at him before putting the disc marked 1 into the player. I hated him for that, as much as I appreciated him looking out for me. I turned on the TV and carried the remote to the bed with me. I sat next to him, leaning forward to brace my arms on my knees and hit the play button.

The first thing I saw was a hospital room. The video bobbed as whoever it was recording it walked across the room. Then it panned down and there was Sookie, looking exhausted and happy all at the same time. She held a small blue wrapped bundle in her arms and a weary smile teased her lips as she stared into the camera. Her voice, ragged, filled the room.

"Alcide, meet your son, Justin. I hope you don't mind, but I named him after your granddaddy. I figured it was only right."

She moved her arms and the camera zoomed in on the bundle. The blue blankets were wrapped securely around the tiny body, with only his face peeking out. His eyes were squeezed shut and his face was red. His plump lips were pursed, as if he was thinking about screaming. Then he yawned and made a whimpering noise. Sookie made a soothing sound and his eyes opened and I was staring into big blue eyes just like Sookie's. Justin stared into the camera and then kind of wiggled around until he had one arm free, which he then waved in the air before smacking himself in the face.

Sookie laughed even as she tucked his arm back into the blanket. "There, he waved at his daddy."

The camera stayed on Justin as Sookie listed all the details of his birth: how long she had been in labor, what time he had been born, the date, how much he weighed, how long he was. I barely heard any of it as I stared at the tiny little being she held against her chest. Justin made a lot of whimpering noises and nuzzled her breasts until finally I heard her say softly, "He's hungry."

I felt tears roll down my face as she shifted him and fed him. The picture bobbled and shifted to another scene. Sookie was sitting in a wheelchair next to a truck, Justin cradled once more in her arms. It went on for almost two hours. Some of it was short little clips, others were lengthy. I saw it all. It wasn't all firsts, but there were plenty of those. First time rolling over, first time sitting up on his own, first tooth, first word (Mama). I saw him crawl, learn how to stand on his own, playing with toys, making a mess with the baby food. Then, his first steps filled the screen and he was laughing as he walked towards Sookie who was grinning wildly. I choked and paused the DVD to bury my head in my hands and I let the tears come freely.

When I finally stopped crying, I looked up to see that Quinn had disappeared. I had been so involved with watching my son on screen that I hadn't even noticed he left. I glanced back at the TV and saw that I paused it just as Justin had reached Sookie and she was hugging them, both their grinning faces turned to the camera.

I stared at them for a long time before I pushed play again. It picked up and started playing holidays. First Thanksgiving, with Justin sitting in a bouncy chair next to Sookie and cradled in one of those pouches at her back as she cooked. His first Christmas and playing with the wrapping paper and boxes rather than the large pile of toys off to the side. Easter showed him with a chocolate smeared face as he crawled around after plastic eggs. Then it was his birthday, held outside the farmhouse. He was splashing in a new pool and chasing after Jason Stackhouse. Then it showed him eating, well smearing birthday cake all over his face. Finally there was a clip of him sleeping, a stuffed Tigger doll tucked into the crook of his arm.

Sookie's voice was a whisper. "Our little boy is a year old now. He's had a wonderful day. I only wish I had the courage to call you and tell you about him so that you could have been here too."

That DVD ended and I put in another. For the next few hours, I watched Justin's life up until he was four. That one stopped at a visit to Sookie's clinic where he was helping her with a cat that needed it's claws trimmed. It ended with him giggling as a small puppy chased him around the waiting room. Sookie's voice came again. "And here we are, he's almost five. His birthday is in a few weeks. If I don't see you before then, I'll have that party recorded as well."

I started the first DVD over again as I flipped through the photo albums. The pictures started with a pregnant Sookie, each one showing the pregnancy as it progressed. Then there were pictures of Justin as a newborn and all the way up until he looked as he did now.

I closed the final album and stared at the TV screen. Justin was laughing and crawling across the flood as Jason encouraged him. Sookie had given me Justin's life, in movies and pictures. Everything I thought I had missed, she had given back to me in the only way she could. I swallowed hard as I thought.

I was still mad at her, that was a given. But I realized something as I looked through the pictures. This was Sookie, the woman I had loved for the last ten years. Whatever her reasons for keeping Justin from me, it had never been her intention to be cruel about it. The gift she had given me today proved that. The fact that she expressed several times over each DVD that she wished I was there proved it.

The DVDs and pictures didn't fix what she had done, but they did make it slightly easier to understand. Just slightly. I would be angry with her for a very long time. But, being able to see Justin mere hours after he was born and all those other precious moments made it easier for me to go and see Sookie again.

I sent a text to Quinn to tell him what I was doing and that we would leave when I got back. It was close to six o'clock when I drove into Bon Temps and headed straight to Sookie's. Her vehicle was the only one parked in the back and I parked next to it. She was outside, weeding the flowerbeds around the back porch. She rose to her feet slowly as I got out of the truck, her eyes watching me warily as I approached her.

She placed her hands on her hips. "What are you doing here?"

There was a flash of wariness in her eyes and she glanced towards the house. I understood immediately that Justin was home and shrugged. "I'm ready to talk."

"Now isn't a good time, Alcide."

"He'll have to get used to me being around."

"You should have called."

"Sookie, don't do this."

"No, I told you. You won't be around him until we come to an understanding. I'm not going to have him getting upset or scared." She tossed down the trowel she was using and walked towards me, lowering her voice. "I am more than willing to talk to you, but not if you can't control your temper."

"I can. Please, just," I paused and ran a hand through my hair, "let's just talk, alright. I watched the DVDs." I watched her carefully and saw her lips twitch slightly. "Thank you."

Sookie blinked rapidly and shook her head. "Don't thank me, I'm just sorry I couldn't give you more."

"You gave me plenty. It was," I swallowed hard as I thought about all those precious moments I got to witness, "unbelievably kind of you to do something like that."

Sookie tilted her head and stared at me. "I was never fully happy with my decision, you know. I've regretted it since I made it, but I wouldn't do it different, I hope you know that."

"I just don't understand why you did it in the first place. If you had just told me, I would have been here."

"I've wanted you here for years, but Alcide," she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "when I found out I was pregnant, you just had your first hit. Do you remember that fight we had, back before we graduated?"

I nodded cautiously, I had no idea where this was leading. "Yes, I remember."

"I said it was a stupid risk and you said it was your dream. I didn't understand it then, I was too wrapped up with my own dreams and desires and couldn't look past that. I understand it now. It took you five years to get that record deal. Five years." Sookie stopped and looked away. "What kind of person would I have been to ask you to give up something that you worked so hard for?"

"Did it ever occur to you that I wouldn't have had to give up anything? Plenty of singers have families," I said after a moment.

"Alcide, it wasn't just the question of would you or I have to give up something," Sookie replied with a tired sigh, "it was the question of if you were coming back because I was pregnant or because you still loved me? I mean, I know you, I know what kind of man you were, you could have come back. Maybe you wouldn't have had to give up signing, or me give up my studies, but would you have come back for the right reasons?"

"I loved you," I said after a moment's hesitation.

Sookie gave me a long look and I know she noticed the hesitation. "Maybe you did. But would you have continued to love me after? I don't think you would have. I think you would have come back because it was your duty. You would have given up your dream or part of it and you would have come to resent me for it, and I would have resented you because I would have never known if you came back because you loved me and wanted to be with me, to have a family, or if you were just doing your duty."

"That isn't true."

"Alcide, what was the first couple of years like for you, after you signed your record deal?"

I paused to think about it. I never really thought about those first two years anymore. When I did, I realized how crazy things had been. Moving from tour to tour as opening acts for the big guns, working my ass off to put together songs for a record, doing the talk show rounds, the award shows, the fans. I worked non stop for two years until I reached the point that I was at now. Now I only worked for about half a year and that was on tour. The other half of the year was spent writing songs and then recording.

"Hectic," I admitted slowly.

"Is that any kind of environment for a newborn? Or a relationship of any kind? Sure you could have managed, but how much of all that would you have had to give up to be with us? Or how much of us would you have had to given up to do what you did? I know it was a mistake and it's one thing I will never stop regretting. But, I was able to record all those special moments and give them back to you."

"I don't see the point you are trying to make."

"I've noticed that the one thing a lot of singers admit to enjoying are those first moments of stardom. The realization that this was it, they had made it. All their hard work and dreams have paid off because they made it. Is that something you really would have wanted to miss? This was your dream, this is what you walked away from me for. Do you really think I would have taken that from you? What you experienced wasn't something that could be recorded with a camcorder or a camera, it wasn't something that could have been saved and handed to you in a box five years later." She was crying now, silently, the tears just rolling down her face.

I just stared at her. In a way, she was right. Almost nothing could replace how it had felt to have a hit song. When I got the news that a song I wrote, the song I poured my heart into, hit number one, I had been ecstatic. It was the moment of my life that I had dreamed of since the first time I learned to play the guitar. Maybe it made me selfish, maybe it made me a horrible person, but I wouldn't have wanted to miss it.

If I had known about Justin, I would have left it all behind to be with Sookie. A lot of what I had experienced had made me grow, as a singer and as a person. It made me what I was now. Going through all that flash and dazzle made me realize that I wasn't cut out for what country was today, borderline pop music. I had fallen back on old school country, following the examples of Alan Jackson and George Strait. I earned the moniker 'The New Garth Brooks.' I was not mainstream country and I had been surprised when other newcomers followed my example. Could I have traded all that to be here? Yes, but, even though it made me sick to admit it, I would have regretted it.

"Instead you took away my son," I said in a low tone, "Sookie, I could have given it all up. I would have regretted it, but not nearly as much as I regret losing the last five years. That is on your shoulders."

"You think I don't know that," she hissed, "You think I haven't laid awake a hundred nights and wished I had done things differently? You may have missed the last five years, Alcide, but I've had to live with myself and what I've done."

"So what are we going to do?" I asked, mainly to change the subject. I didn't want to hear how she regretted it or how she had to live with it. I didn't want to hear the pain in her voice when I was dealing with my own. I didn't want to feel sorry for her, and a small part of me did. I couldn't imagine how hard it had been for her, especially once she returned to Bon Temps.

Sookie sighed and brushed a stray lock of hair behind her head. "I'm not sure. I suppose the first thing is to reintroduce you to Justin and let him get acquainted with you."

"When are we going to tell him the truth?" I questioned. I wanted to know what she thought of it. I wanted to tell him right away, but somehow I didn't think Sookie would see it my way.

"He isn't ready, Alcide," she said gently, her eyes kind. "He needs to get used to you. This isn't something we should rush into."

"Okay, when can I see him? Where is he?"

"In his room," she said with a faint smile, "Jason bought him a new truck and he's introducing it to the rest of his trucks."

"May I see him?"

She hesitated, "I don't know, after this morning..."

"Sookie, please." There was a pleading tone in my voice that I hated, but I had to see him. "I just want to say hi and apologize for my behavior this morning. I have to leave tonight."

"Leave? You're leaving?" Sookie's voice went high and had a hysterical note to it.

I fixed her with a steady look and nodded. "Yes, we are going back to Nashville. I have business to take care of and some appearances to make before I am officially 'off' for the next couple of months."

"I see," Sookie said slowly, "Will you be coming back?"

She had to ask? I crossed my arms. "I will."

"When?" She bit her lip and looked away.

"In a week or two, depends on how much I have scheduled."

She nodded but didn't look my way. I looked at her, really looked at her. Her face was strained, eyes red rimmed from the tears. She was holding herself stiffly. There was something about the way she looked that tugged at me. I didn't like it.

Then she started to speak though she didn't look at me. "Justin's birthday is next weekend. We are having a party at Merlotte's for him."

"You are having a birthday party for a five year old at a bar?" I asked with a raised brow.

"Merlotte's isn't just a bar, Alcide, you know that." Sookie said with a roll of her eyes, "Besides, I made arrangements with Sam, he's closing down the bar for two hours for the party. I'd love for you to be there."

"I'll try," I said. I don't care what I had to cancel, I would be there. There was no way I was going to miss another one of my son's birthdays. Thinking of birthdays made me think of presents, and I didn't have a fucking clue what you would give a five year old. "I don't know what to buy him."

Sookie looked at me then, with a faint smile on her lips. "If you don't mind the suggestion, get him a puppy."

I raised a brow. "A puppy?"

Sookie nodded. "Yes. I planned on getting him one this year. A golden retriever. He's old enough and responsible enough to take care of a puppy and he's been asking for one."

"I could do that. Any preference towards gender?"

"Male. I can neuter him when he's old enough." She said it with a smirk and I winced.

"That's mean."

"No, it's responsible pet care. You should always have your pets spayed or neutered."

"You sound like a vet."

"Well, I am a vet."

"Then I suppose I'll get a discount for shots?"

"I suppose."

I glanced at my watch. "I need to be getting back to Shreveport soon. May I see Justin?"

The wariness came back into her eyes but she nodded. "Sure, come on in. I'll get him."

I followed her into the house and when she disappeared down the hall, I went to wait in the living room. It hadn't changed much from the last time I was here. There was a small box of toys set in one corner, a new entertainment center with a flat screen TV, a DVD player and rows of DVDs filled the shelves. Pictures in neat frames hung on the walls and lined the decorative buffet table set up towards the back of the room.

Unable to stop myself, I walked along the walls and studied the pictures. Most of them were formal portraits, the kind taken at Christmas. Four of them were Justin alone, from a small newborn to a cute little three year old. There were more with Sookie in them and the last one, which must have been taken last year, was of Sookie, Justin, her two friends, and Jason. They were all smiling happily. The pictures on the buffet were candid ones, taken at various points in Justin's life. I found one photo that made me stop and stare.

It had been halfway tucked behind a large picture of Gran. I picked it up so I could get a closer look. It was of Sookie and myself, taken at our Senior Prom. Sookie wore a beautiful pale blue dress that draped over her body, enhancing her curves. I looked at my younger self, dressed up in a tuxedo with a black cowboy hat on my head. Sookie stood in front of me, my arms wrapped around her waist. She was leaning back against me, her head resting on my shoulder, half turned and tilted so she was smiling up at my face. I was smiling back at her. This had been the last picture taken of us before we broke up and I remember how happy we had been. Later that night we had been crowned the Queen and King of Prom and slow danced to our song, Forever Love by Reba.

I heard footsteps coming down the hall and quickly replaced the picture. I had no idea why it was out there. Maybe Gran had put it there before she died and Sookie just never moved it. Or maybe, a small voice inside my head said, Sookie knew it was there and left it because she missed you. I dismissed that thought and moved to stand in front of the window, my eyes trained on the doorway.

Sookie entered first, one arm behind her. I found out why when Justin stepped in a few seconds later, one hand holding onto Sookie's hand tightly. His blue eyes were hot with anger as he stared at me and said, "You are the mean man."

A small piece of my heart broke even as Sookie scolded him. I held up a hand to stop her and she glared at me. I walked over and knelt so I was on Justin's level. "I am. I'm not really mean though. I'm sorry about that. I was upset."

"People yell when they are mad."

"Yes, they do, but I never should have yelled at your mother. It wasn't nice of me."

"No it wasn't," Justin agreed then tilted his head to study me. "You are the man on TV."

I stared at him and gave Sookie an inquiring look. She flushed a little and explained, "We have that one concert you did for charity on DVD."

"We like to watch it," Justin supplied.

Sookie met my astonished look and shrugged. "I've always liked your singing."

"Do you like it?" I asked Justin.

He gave a small shrug. "It's alright, I guess. What's it like, singing like that?"

"It's fun," I answered with a small smile.

"Can you really play a guitar?" Justin asked.

I laughed. "Yes. My granddaddy taught me how to play it when I was ten years old."

Justin gave his mother a sly look. "I want drums for my birthday."

Sookie laughed. "Justin, we've talked about this, no drums until you are older."

He lowered his voice to a whisper and leaned towards me. "She's only saying that because she doesn't like the noise."

"Women," I said in a conspiratorial tone.

Justin finally let go of Sookie's hand and stepped closer to me. "Why did you yell at Mommy?"

"Ah," I said as I glanced at Sookie. She gave me an even look but didn't give me any clue on how to handle it. "I was mad about something she did, something she kept from me. I didn't like it."

"That's what she said," Justin said with a sigh.

I could hardly believe that I was kneeling here having a conversation with my son. I couldn't take my eyes off him. I could see pieces of me in him now. He had my cheekbones, the same thick eyelashes that my sister envied, my build. I think that if his hair was longer, it would have the same curl as mine. I looked at him and wanted to pull him in my arms. I ached to hold him.

"She was right. I have to tell you, Justin, I'm awfully sorry I yelled at her."

"Do you mean it? It doesn't count if you don't mean it." He said it like it was something that had been said to him, and often.

I chuckled and resisted the urge to tousle his hair. "Yeah, I mean it."

Justin stared at me and I found myself at the end of a Stackhouse glare. It was so odd to be getting a look from a four year old that Sookie had perfected by the time she was thirteen. Finally he nodded. "Alright then. Mommy, can I go play now?"

I was disappointed by his lack of interest in me but I suppose nothing else could be done about it. Sookie nodded and he darted out of the room, completely ignoring her command to stop running. I grinned at her and she arched a brow at me. "He's more like you than me at times."

"I'll take you word on that."

"Well, I guess that didn't go badly."

"Guess not. I should go now. I told Quinn I would be back." I straightened up and looked at the door.

Sookie sighed and nodded. "It was good of you to come by."

"I had to," I said with a lift of my shoulders, "after watching those movies."

"I understand," she said softly as she walked me to the door.

"I'll try to get back in time for his birthday. Thanks for inviting me." I stood in the open door.

Sookie leaned against the door. "Don't thank me. You have every right to be there."

"Sookie," I asked, "who all knows about him?"

"Just Amelia, Tray, Tara, and Jason."

"Why no one else?"

"I thought it best to keep it a secret."

"To protect who, you or me?"

"To protect him."

"Oh."

She gave me a grim look. "I realized when I moved back to Bon Temps that there would be questions. I didn't want to get him dragged into something nasty. He looks so much like me that everyone around here is convinced I went and got myself knocked up in college by some stranger. It was best. I didn't want anyone going to reporters and you finding out like that."

"When were you going to tell me?"

Sadness filled her voice. "I honestly don't know. I always knew you would come back, I just didn't know when. Amelia talked me into going to the concert. I just thought we would go and listen to you sing. But coming backstage, seeing you face to face," Sookie hesitated, "acting like I did, it changed things. That's why I called. I really was going to invite you to lunch and tell you."

"That's why you ran out," I realized out loud. She hadn't run because she was seeing someone else, but because of Justin.

"I knew it was wrong. You had to know the truth," she said simply.

"Yeah," I agreed.

"Alcide," Sookie paused and stared at her feet, "I'm sure you know that I still have feelings for you. That never changed. I also know that finding out the truth, finding out that I've kept this all from you might have changed how you feel about me, but really, I did think it was best, no matter how wrong it was."

"I'm sure you do," I said, voice hard, "and it does change how I feel. I'm just not sure how much."

It was as close as I could come to saying that I did care for her still. Maybe that was what pissed me off the most. She had done something that was close to unforgivable, hidden the truth from me, and I still wanted her. I still wanted to touch her, to kiss her, to hold her. I shouldn't have, but I did. The heart wants what the heart wants, I suppose.

"Alcide," she swallowed hard and looked up at me, tears shimmering in her eyes, "is there even a chance of you forgiving me?" One tear spilled over and slowly made it's way down her cheek as she went on, "I'd like you to be a part of Justin's life," her voice lowered to a whisper and I had to strain to hear her next words, "and mine."

My hand rose on it's own violation and gently wiped away the tear. Sookie leaned into my touch and instead of pulling away, I stayed there, soaking in the way her skin felt like silk against my fingertips. She was waiting for an answer and I'm not sure the one I had for her was what she wanted.

I pulled my hand away and stared at her, the conflict within me naked in my eyes. "I don't know Sookie, I really don't. Maybe, once I've had a chance to work through things, maybe then, but forgiveness won't come easy and it won't come fast."

She sucked in a breath to say something and I stopped her with a shake of my head. "No, don't say anything, I don't want to hear it. You've made your case, that's it. This is something I have to work through myself, not something you can fix with words." I stepped down from the porch and paused at the bottom of the steps. "Tell Justin I said good bye. I'll try and make the party."

I walked quickly to the truck and refused to look back. I would never mention how much I wanted to pull her into my arms and hold her. Or that it was breaking my heart to walk away. I knew I had to, if I stayed, things would just be more clouded. I needed to get away from it so I could think clearly. As long as I was close to Justin and Sookie, all I would see is them, and I had to have the time and space so I could make the right decision. I might be able to forgive Sookie, eventually, but before I could, I had to forgive myself.

She might have kept our son from me, but perhaps I was just as at fault as she was. Never once did I call her after that night. I could have called to see how she was doing, how she was coping with Gran's death, but I didn't. I figured if she walked away from me, then she never wanted to see or hear from me. I could have called and she might have told me the truth then, or she might not have. But at least I would have made an effort to stay in contact with her. Maybe, if I had been on speaking terms with her, it would make this betrayal more real, more like a lie than just an omission.

The one thing I knew for sure was that I would be back in a week for that birthday and hopefully by then I would have my feelings for Sookie sorted out so we could take steps forward. Because if I didn't work out my own feelings, I just didn't see how we could move forward.

**Author's Notes: NO ONE PANIC! Alcide will be back! He needs space! Sookie needs space! Justin needs...drums. Heh. Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Leave a review. I love them.**


	10. A Little Bit Stronger

**Author's Notes: Woo another chapter! Thanks to LindsayK for being an awesome beta! Check out the bottom A/N for a little announcment. On with the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SVM or the characters.**

**It's Your Song**

**Chapter Ten**

**SPOV**

_But I'm telling myself, I'll be okay, on my weakest day. I get a little bit stronger _

_~A Little Bit Stronger by Sara Evans_

I don't know how I got through the rest of the evening, but I did. Alcide's words about not knowing if he could forgive me kept playing on repeat. Did I really expect him to? Why was hearing that he wasn't sure he could upset me so much? I would never forget the look of anger and despair on his face before he walked away from me. Just thinking about it nod my stomach twisting into knots.

I went through the motions of giving Justin his nighttime bath and tucking him into bed. He didn't seem to be affected by Alcide's visit and I didn't know what to make of that. Was he angry and just not saying anything because he knew I wouldn't approve, or did he just not care now? A young child's mind was odd at times. Some things stayed with them forever, and other things just disappeared five minutes after experiencing them. How else could they get hurt so often and go back to doing the same thing over and over again? I can't count how many times Justin has gotten bumps or bruises for climbing and jumping off of things, yet he still does it. I really think that children have selective memories.

After reading him two bedtime stories, I went and took a long hot shower. The warm water pounding between my shoulder blades did little to ease the tension I was carrying. I knew it would be hard, admitting the truth to Alcide, and I knew it would hurt. But I had never considered it would hurt this much. The guilt was almost too much to bear.

Alcide had found out that he was a father. We had confronted each other. I had gave him the movies and albums, we had talked some more, and I had invited him to Justin's birthday party. He had accepted, sorta. Justin hadn't run from the room screaming when he saw Alcide. That was a big plus. It was hard to believe that all of this took place in the course of one day, it honestly felt like it had gone on for days.

I could do this. Even if Alcide never wanted to see me again, I could do this. I could balance things so that Justin had time with his father, time to get to know him and love him. I could do all that for Justin, it was just that a small part of me didn't know if I could be involved with Alcide on that level knowing I still loved him.

I got out of the shower and toweled off, pulling on a pair of comfortable shorts and my George Strait t-shirt. I thought about going to bed, but my mind was still active, and if I laid down now I would just stare at the ceiling and beat myself up all night. Ice cream. I'd go and fix a bowl of ice cream.

Wandering out of my bedroom, I heard soft voices in the living room and followed them. Tray and Amelia were sitting side by side on the couch, talking in soft undertones. They looked up at the sound of my footsteps and Amelia greeted me with a warm smile. There was something in her eyes, something she tried to hide. Sympathy.

I froze and wondered how she knew. She did know, I could tell from the way she was looking at me. Her and Tray both. Jason. It had to have been Jason. He either called her, or she had seen him at some point during the day. He never said a word to me about seeing Amelia and Tray when I picked up Justin, but it did explain why they were just now getting in.

"Sookie," Amelia called to me, her voice gentle.

There was a wealth of unspoken questions in that one word. I just stared at them, unable to articulate what had gone on while they had been gone. Tears stung my eyes and I held them back. I did not want to cry, not over this, not again. I shook my head and continued on to the kitchen. I heard footsteps behind me and ignored them. I went straight to the freezer and pulled out the carton of Ben and Jerry's Phish Food. Chocolate ice cream heals all wounds.

"Sookie," Amelia said again.

I placed the carton of ice cream on the counter and went hunting for a spoon. As I did I asked, "Why should I expect Alcide to forgive me?"

"Because you've never stopped loving him and you hope that he still loves you. When you love someone, you forgive them," she answered softly.

"Do you really, or is that something we just let ourselves believe?" I asked.

"Sookie, don't do this." Amelia moved towards me, but I backed away.

"No, I don't want your sympathy or pity, Amelia. You've been telling me all along that putting it off would just make it worse. But I was so sure that I was doing the right thing. So sure that it was the best thing for us all. I was so blind." I found the spoon I was looking for and stared down into it blindly.

"You were just protecting yourself and Justin," Amelai said quickly but with almost no conviction behind her voice. She didn't even believe what she was saying.

"Protecting us from what? Alcide wouldn't have hurt us," I asked with a sigh. "I was just stupid and selfish. Maybe a part of me wanted to hurt Alcide like this, maybe I was just being cruel and petty."

Amelia frowned at me. "Don't say that, it isn't true."

I jabbed the spoon at her before scooping out some ice cream. "Isn't it? What valid reason did I have for keeping Justin a secret? It's been five years. Alcide is no longer the newcomer. He's had time to settle into his career."

"I can't answer that, Sookie, I'm not you. But I do know you. You've been slowly killing yourself with guilt for keeping Justin a secret. Does that sound like someone who is cruel and petty?"

"Maybe. How many times over the last five years could I have called or written Alcide to tell him? How often did you or Tray, or even Jason tell me I needed to tell him?"

"Sookie Stackhouse, stop it right now," Amelia snapped and jerked the ice cream out of my hands.

I gaped up at her. "What the hell?"

"You are not going to sit here and have a pity party for yourself. Yes, you fucked up. You admit that, you realize that. But sitting here and beating yourself up over it isn't going to fix things. It won't make it all better. You can't just magically wish it all away." Amelia glared at me and slammed the carton of ice cream down on the counter. "I won't sit here and listen to this bullshit."

I bit my lip and stared down at the empty spoon. Then, suddenly furious, I threw it into the sink where it clanged against a bowl. "Fine, don't sit here and listen to it. I didn't ask you to stick your damn nose in my business!"

I turned and shoved past Tray who had come to the door at my outburst. He made an attempt to grab my arm but I twisted to avoid it. I stomped through the living room and into the hallway before throwing open the front door and stomping outside. I shut the door behind me and just leaned against it as tears filled my eyes.

I was so tired. Exhausted. The last twenty four hours had completely drained me emotionally. My brain was so full of fuzz that I had no idea what I was doing anymore. Everything was collapsing around me. It was all just so out of control and I didn't know how I could hang on any longer.

Why had I yelled at Amelia? She was only trying to help. It wasn't as if anything she said wasn't true. She put into words what I was feeling, what I was thinking. She was right. I couldn't just sit around and mope over my decisions and the results of those decisions. I couldn't wish it away. I wouldn't want to.

I wouldn't trade one moment in my life in the last five years. They had been some of the best moments of my life. I got to feel my child grow within me, hold him and cherish him. I've watched him grow from a drooling infant into a handsome little man. He was the light of my life.

Yes things would have been different and possibly better if Alcide had been involved. But I couldn't be sure of that. I couldn't be sure that it would have been me to coddle Justin when he was suffering from teething pains or been me to chase away the monsters under the bed. Yes things would have happened the same, but I wouldn't have had the same experiences.

I walked over and sat down on the porch swing, pushing with my feet to start it swinging. My fingers ran along the grain of the aged wood and I closed my eyes. I couldn't regret what I'd done any longer. Regretting would get me nothing. I had to stop thinking about the mistakes I made and focus on not making any more mistakes.

Alcide wouldn't just step back into my life. He wouldn't welcome me back into his with open arms. We were no longer the people we once were. I still loved him, but I had no idea if I loved the man he was or the man he had becomeis. Wd both changed. I realized that there was no way we could completely start over, but there was also no way of just going back and picking up where we left off.

The front door creaked and Tray stepped outside. Ashamed of how I had yelled at Amelia, I looked away and wiped away the tears. Tray said nothing as he walked over and sat next to me. One arm went around my shoulders and he tugged me gently. I went with it and laid my head on his shoulder. We rocked in silence, listening to the chirps of crickets and the croaks of frogs.

Tray wouldn't say anything until I did. Finally I sniffed, "I shouldn't have yelled at Amelia."

"She understands."

"Doesn't matter. I shouldn't have pissed off the one person who has always been there for me."

"What am I? Chopped liver?" Tray asked with a snort.

I rolled my eyes. "You know what I mean."

"She's worried and she blames herself."

I jerked away from him. "What?"

Tray tilted his head back and sighed. "I really shouldn't tell you this, but yes, she blames herself for dragging you to the concert. She feels like she pushed you into seeing Alcide and if she hadn't, things wouldn't be this bad."

"Idiot. Of course she pushed me into seeing him, but she wasn't the one who made me keep a secret. She wasn't the one who was stupid enough to think that he would just forgive me automatically," I said harshly.

"No, but like you said, she pushed you into seeing him. Her thought is if she just let you do things on your terms, he never would have showed up here and you could have told him about Justin in your own way instead of him just finding out like he did."

"Selfish of her, to try and take all the blame. I didn't have to go to the concert. I didn't have to go backstage. I could have told him last night."

"Well, you know how she is. I can't help but to feel like part of the blame is mine as well, as I urged her to take you to the concert."

"Oh Lord, we are quite the lot aren't we? Each of us trying to shoulder the blame for a mistake that I'm responsible for," I said with a bitter laugh.

"We've lived together for too long," Tray said with a grin.

I nodded slowly and looked at him. "Tray, why did you tell Amelia to take me? I know you never talk about it, but you really like Alcide's music. I know you wanted to go to the concert. Instead you suggested that she take me and kept Justin."

"Hey, Justin and I like our man time, thank you very much," Tray protested.

"Not saying you don't. I just want to know why," I asked with a shrug. "I mean, I know you never approved of what I did, but you never really vocal about it."

Tray heaved out a sigh and shoved off the swing, making it sway back and forth. He paced the length of the porch then ended up leaning against the railing and looking at me. I could barely make out his face in the shadows as he spoke.

"You're right, I didn't approve. I couldn't imagine having that done to me. But I've been here since the beginning, watched you struggle. You are a good woman, Sookie, and a fine mother. I look at you and I see a woman who knew what she wanted and got it despite the bumps life gave her. You took something that was a complete accident, something that broke your heart, and you thrived. In a way, you remind me of my own mother.

"Underneath all that though, is pain. It isn't visible to most people, but I see it, and so does Amelia. Jason probably does too. You've been carrying so much pain and guilt. What you did, it didn't just hurt Alcide, it hurt you too. I see you watching Justin sometimes and I know you're thinking of Alcide. You know that one day, when Justin learns the truth, he'll hurt and he'll blame you and you carry that pain too.

"It's not just the pain. It's the loneliness. You don't date, ever. You've given yourself completely to Justin, and to your job. That's all there is in your life. I worry that you'll break. I love you like a sister and I don't like to see you hurting. I don't want you to be alone. All the stories I've heard of you and Alcide, well it makes me think of Amelia and myself. I wanted you to have a chance to have what we have, what you once had. I don't know if it was right or wrong of me, but I was just tired and sad thinking about you just being stuck in this rut. You needed the push out of it."

"If you hadn't made that suggestion, Amelia wouldn't have pushed. If Amelia hadn't pushed, I wouldn't have gone to the concert and I wouldn't be in this situation," I said slowly without taking my eyes off him.

"True. But you are and you know what?" he asked, and went on before I could answer, "Good or bad, don't you feel better about having it all out there?"

"Better in the sense that I'm not having to hide it from Alcide any more. Sick and disgusted with myself for causing so much pain."

"That, despite what you might think, is a good thing. The fact that you are suffering for it means that you care enough. You never stopped loving him."

I shook my head and felt tears again. "No, I never stopped and never will. He's it for me, whether we make it or break it this time."

Tray came back over and sat back down, his hand patting my knee. "It's the same for him. It's going to take time but I think you two will work out in the end."

"Tray, honey, you've been watching too many Disney movies with Justin," I said with a giggle, "You sound like a girl."

"Bite me, Sookie," he growled. "You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, I think so," I said with a sigh.

"Get some sleep."

Tray stood up and I grabbed his arm. When he looked down at me, I said softly, "Thank you, for being here and sticking with me. Thank you for being a friend."

"Hey, you and Amelia were a package deal. I wouldn't dream of trying to break up the dream team," he replied with a smile. I squeezed his hand and he said, "Get some sleep. I'm going to go haul Ames up to bed and watch Die Hard, to prove I'm not a girl."

I laughed as he tugged his hand free and walked inside the house. I listened as he and Amelia exchanged soft words and headed up the stairs. I sat outside for a while longer, staring up at the stars, just letting my mind drift.

The next few weeks would be hard, but I would survive. I had made my choices, made my mistakes. I may lose Alcide, but I still had Justin. A small piece of me would die if Alcide decided he wanted nothing more than a platonic relationship with me, but I would survive. I would always ache and burn for him, but I could live without him. He might not love me again, but I couldn't stop loving him. The only thing I could do was try to avoid any other mistakes. I couldn't deny Justin his father any longer, and I couldn't deny Alcide his son. My life was going to change, one way or another, and I just had to accept it.

Three days later I was trying to convince a German Shepard that getting her shots wouldn't be so bad. The dog was not convinced and filled my exam room with howls and whines that set off all the other canines in the waiting room. Little Lola's owner, Holly Clearly, gave me an apologetic look and held Lola's head as I deftly filled the syringe with the pale liquid. I ran my hand lightly down Lola's neck, gripped a bit of skin, lifted it, and slid the needle in. Lola let out one loud pitiful moan as I depressed the plunger and lowered her head when I pulled back, giving me the doggy version of a death glare.

"There, there," I said soothingly and patted the dog's head, "all done. Hop down."

I didn't need to tell Lola twice. Within moments she was down off the table and sitting next to Holly, her head tucked behind Holly's legs, a clear sign that Lola was mad at me. I rolled my eyes at her doggy dramatics.

"Thanks, Sook. I know Lola is a pain when it comes to having her check ups, but you really are the best vet I've had in ages." Holly leaned down and snapped the leash onto Lola's collar.

I laughed. "No dog likes the vet. I'm used to the scorn."

Holly chuckled. "Well, we'll get out of your hair now. See on Saturday?"

I nodded. Holly's son Cody was a year older than Justin but the boys were good friends from daycare. "Yeah, 2 o'clock."

"Bet Justin is excited," Holly said as I walked out with her.

"Bouncing off the walls excited," I replied with an exaggerated sigh. "He seems convinced that he's getting a puppy or a power wheel Hummer."

"Oh, Cody got one of those for Christmas last year."

"I know," I gave her a evil glare, which made her laugh, "It's why Justin wants one."

Holly laughed. "I'd apologize, but Justin's little dancing car is the new hit at daycare. Cody keeps begging for one."

"Boys and their toys."

"So, you getting him one?" Holly asked as we entered the waiting room.

I just smiled. "Getting one what?"

"Sookie!"

"What, I don't want to ruin the surprise."

"That would be a better excuse if I was your son," she said dryly, then she gave me a smug smile. "So, rumor is that Alcide Herveaux is coming back to Bon Temps."

My heart dropped to my feet at her little announcement and I'm sure I went pale. "Rumor?"

Holly's eyes light up in delight at sharing new gossip. "Oh yeah. I heard it from Kevin Pryor. Supposedly there had been some calls about the Herveaux place and how much it would take to get it habitable again. Alcide Herveaux's name was dropped."

"Oh, how interesting," I muttered under my breath.

Holly got a speculative look in her eyes. "Didn't you two used to have a thing?"

It wasn't like I could deny it since a lot of people would remember that we used to date in high school, so I nodded. "Yeah, in high school. We went our separate ways before graduation."

"How exciting it must be for you then, to have your high school sweetheart come back for a visit."

Was it just for a visit, or was Alcide going to make this move permanent? That was the sixty-four thousand dollar question. "Yeah, interesting. Well, I've got to go take a look at a cat. See you later Holly."

I turned and called back my next patient, a grumpy Persian cat. The rest of my day went by quietly for the most part. Several people couldn't wait to talk about Alcide coming back to town. By the time I closed the clinic for the night my mouth hurt from so much smiling. Everyone wanted to hear about Alcide and how we used to date. Many wondered if I would try and snare him again, or so they asked with a nudge and a wink.

When I finished with my last appointment, I had some time to spare before I had to go pick up Justin. I don't know what possessed me, but I climbed into my vehicle and took a little drive. I blasted the stereo, choosing to listen to my Creedence Clearwater Revival CD rather than the radio. I sang along with Susie-Q, and just drove. Somehow, and I refuse to admit that I did it on purpose, I ended up outside the house Alcide grew up in.

It was a three story farmhouse, much like mine, only in better repair. The Herveauxs had money and even though they moved away seven years ago, they still kept the place in pristine condition, at least on the outside. There had been improvements made, probably to up the property value, and now instead of just a front porch, it had a full wrap around porch.

No one was around so I pulled in and parked. Telling myself I shouldn't, I got up and walked over to the porch. Two rocking chairs sat in one corner and I stared at them as memories came flooding back to me.

Alcide and I spent a lot of time in those rocking chairs during the fall, spring, and summer. During school, when the weather was nice, we'd sit out on the porch and do our homework. I remember sitting across from him studying chemistry while he strummed on his old guitar, learning new songs and writing. I remember the time we dragged the chairs out in the front yard and killed the outside lights so we could rock and stare at the stars, holding hands.

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I trailed a hand over the curved back of one chair. If the rumor mill was true, and I didn't have any reason to doubt it, Alcide would be coming back here. He had been serious about sticking around to get to know Justin. I think a small part of me, over the last few days, truly believed that he wouldn't return. I don't know what I would do if he hadn't returned.

I didn't know what I was going to do with him returning. How would we handle this? Once people started seeing us together, seeing Alcide with Justin, they would realize the truth. We had been too close in school and it would be stupid to think that anyone would not consider Justin's parentage after seeing Alcide with him.

Shit, just thinking about all the possibilities was giving me a headache. With one last lingering look at the house, I returned to my SUV and left. I picked up Justin and went home. Amelia and Tray took one look at me and said that they were going to take Justin out to McDonalds for an early birthday present. Justin was ecstatic and I didn't have the heart to deny him.

After they left, I ran a hot bubble bath and just soaked. I was thinking about how good it had been with Alcide and how perfect we had been together. I couldn't stop myself from remembering all the little moments and all the fun we had as carefree teenagers so lost in that first taste of love. I never should have walked away from him after that one night five years ago. I shouldn't have been so petty and vindictive. It had killed me to leave him but I had wanted so much to make him feel the pain I had felt when he left me for Nashville.

My phone vibrated on the toilet where I left it and I swiped away the tears that had somehow filled my eyes as I reached for it. "Hello?"

"Sookie?"

My heart thudded in my chest when I heard Alcide's voice. "Alcide?"

"I hope I'm not bothering you."

"No, I'm just," I stopped before I could say that I was in the tub. I swallowed, "I'm just relaxing. Ames and Tray took Justin out for an early birthday dinner."

"Oh." He sounded disappointed, as if he had called to talk to Justin. I couldn't fault him but it would be too confusing for Justin.

"Yeah, I needed a few hours to myself," I admitted slowly. I pushed myself up in the tub and flicked the release on the drain with my toe. There was no way I could sit in the tub and have a conversation with Alcide. Just hearing his voice made me throb with need and I had no right to feel this way. I prayed that he wouldn't hear the whoosh of water as the tub drained.

"Right, that was nice of them." His voice sounded strained, and I knew he heard the water and I silently cursed myself.

Wrapping a towel around myself, I padded into my bedroom. "How are things in Nashville?"

Had to make small talk. Had to distract us both. It worked because he said, "Fine, kind of hectic getting some things wrapped up, but it should be done by Friday."

"That's good," I said warmly, "So will we see you on Saturday?"

"Yeah, if all works out I'm flying out Friday afternoon."

"If you fly in early enough, you should come to dinner," I invited before I even thought about it. The silence was almost audible. Why had I done that? Why had I invited him to dinner on Friday night? We always had a small family dinner for Justin's birthday. Since the party promised to be an all day affair, we had planned on doing the dinner on Friday. I had just invited Alcide to something that was family only.

Yes he was Justin's father, but Justin didn't know that. How was it going to look to him if Alcide showed up when it was just people Justin knew as family there? Amelia, Tray, Jason, Crystal, maybe Tara, and myself. I needed to learn to think before I spoke.

When Alcide remained quiet, I said softly, "I mean, you don't have to. It's just going to be a small family thing, for Justin's birthday."

If I was trying to convince Alcide into not coming, those were the wrong choice of words. He finally said, "I'd love to come over. Is it alright if Quinn comes with me? He's flying in with me and staying with me at the old place until he gets bored."

"Yeah, sure, the more the merrier." I didn't really mean that, but I couldn't exactly go and tell him that, no, it wasn't okay and I was taking back his invitation. Not only would it upset him, I was raised better. It's bad manners to invite someone then take the invitation back in the same breath. I couldn't disrespect Gran and all her teachings like that.

"Thank you, Sookie," Alcide said with a burst of warmth. "I really appreciate it. I'd like to see Justin again, in a quieter setting."

"I know. So, I guess that the rumors I heard about you moving back are true then?" I had to change the subject away from Justin. I just couldn't handle it right now, I couldn't.

Alcide sounded surprised by my question. "Uh yeah, actually, they are. I guess I forgot how fast the rumor mill is in small towns."

"Yeah," I said with a smirk, "I heard about it before lunch when I was giving a German Shepard her shots. It's all I heard about in the clinic today."

"Sorry about that."

"No, it's fine," I reassured him, "Everyone just wanted to know if I knew anything about it. I could honestly say I didn't."

"Well, I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to convince my dad to let me stay there so I didn't want to say anything."

"Huh, he still being an ass?" I asked without thinking. If I had been horrible to Alcide about leaving for Nashville, Jackson Herveaux had been a goddamn bastard about it. I found out that he threatened to have Alcide written out of his will at one point. Of course he didn't do that because Alcide was his only son and heir. Just thinking about the dickery that was Jackson Herveaux made me roll my eyes.

"Yes," Alcide said tightly, and I realized I had stepped on his toes. Jackson was his father and Alcide was no longer involved with me so I couldn't say things like that. It was just too easy to fall into old patterns. I'd have to school myself on that.

"Sorry," I said quickly, "I didn't mean anything by it, I was just remembering."

"It's no problem. Listen, I have to go, I have an early interview tomorrow. I'll call you Friday, if I can't make it and stuff."

"Sure thing. I hope you can make it, it will be good for Justin." I meant it, really I did, and yet, at the same time I didn't. It was going to be harder than I thought to share my baby boy, even though Alcide had every right to see and spend time with him.

"See you on Friday," Alcide said, and hung up.

I tossed the phone on the bed and just stood there, wrapped in a towel in the middle of my bedroom, thinking about what I had done. I had just invited Alcide and his friend to my son's family birthday dinner when the birthday boy had no idea the connection he shared with Alcide. I was going to have to explain it to Justin, somehow. He knew enough to know how odd it would be to have someone who wasn't family at a family thing. All I could do is try to come up with a reasonable excuse that wasn't a lie and just wait and see how the pieces landed. Fucking A, I did not know how to do things the easy way.

**Author's Notes: Now, for the announcement. As some of you might know, stories are being targeted and removed for various reasons based on the actions of one group. I don't agree with this and since most of my stories containt contents that could be grounds for removal, I'm taking steps to back up my stories. At the moment I am in the process of getting my SVM stories posted on LiveJournal and a WordPress blog. I'll have links to each of those in my profile within the next few days. At the moment, all of IYS is posted on LJ. If one of my stories gets pulled, I'm leaving Ffnet. So just a warning. Thanks for reading and leave a review!**


	11. Crazy Town

**Author's Notes: Here's the next chapter, barely got it done this week. Given how depressing the last chapters have been, I did my best to make this one a little more light heartened while keeping with the seriousness of the story. I hope I didn't fail. Thanks to scribeninja, formally known as LindsayK, for being an awesome beta and helping me decide on a few things. Enjoy the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SVM, though I dream that I do all the time. Talk about being disappointed when I wake up.**

**It's Your Song**

**Chapter Eleven**

**APOV**

_It's a crazy town, full of neon dreams, everybody plays, everybody sings, Hollywood with a touch of twang, to be a star you gotta bang, bang, bang._

_~Crazy Town by Jason Aldean_

As much as I wanted to be in Bon Temps, I was happy to be back in Nashville, even if it was only for a week. The flood back in May had changed the town I had come to consider my home in the last ten years. I was as heartbroken as everyone else who lived here, though I had been one of the lucky ones and my home did not suffer, like Kenny Chensey's or Dierks Bentley's.

Almost two months had passed since the floods and things were starting to look better. People were rebuilding and recovering. Life goes on, no matter how much damage is done. Once the floodwater had receded, people proved their mettle by cleaning up and starting over. The destruction caused by the flood might not have been as bad as what happened to New Orleans after Katrina, but it was still bad. I still couldn't look at pictures of the city when it was flooded without tearing up.

I would end my week in Nashville with a performance at a charity concert to raise money for flood victims. Before that I had a week of interviews and appearances lined up, including a taping session on CMTs Top Twenty Countdown to recap the end of my first headlining tour and for CMT Insider. That was the one interview I couldn't wait for, Katie Cook was a hoot to be around. The last time she interviewed me, I was in stitches by the time it was over.

But for now I was just glad to be back at my house. It was actually a sprawling ranch house located on the outskirts of Nashville. I had bought it after my first record went gold. It was my big splurge to celebrate my success. I loved it. It came with five acres of land and had a small five horse stable, which was occupied by two Quarter Horses and one Thoroughbred. Pleasure horses, though the Thoroughbred was a retired show horse that I had rescued, so to speak, after an injury took him out of the show circuit.

Quinn followed me home, not wanting to return to his small apartment. I didn't mind, hell, the man had his own room. But when he started to follow me all over the place, I had a problem. We had just returned from feeding the horses late Monday afternoon and I was looking forward to a bit of time to myself in the small recording studio I had built in the basement. Quinn looked like he was going to follow me.

I stopped at the door to the basement and glared at him. "What the hell are you doing, Quinn?"

He fixed an innocent look on his face. "What are you going on about?"

"You've been following me like a damn lost puppy ever since we woke up this morning, so what gives?"

His lips parted in a cheeky grin. "What can I say, I love you man."

"If I wanted a dog, I would go buy one. Scram."

"But you are going to the studio," he said as if that explained everything.

I held up a hand and flicked my fingers in the direction of the game room. "Yes _I_ am going to the studio. _You_ can go play games or whatever. Do you see my point here?"

Quinn cocked his head to the side. "If you go down there alone, you are going to brood."

My eyes flashed. "Then I'll brood. But I'd like to have a bit of privacy. This is my house, you know."

"Alcide," Quinn sighed and shook his head, "you're just about the best friend I got."

"And?" I asked warily.

"All this shit happening to you, hell if I don't watch your back, you are going to turn into fucking Angel," he answered.

I wanted to ask when he started watching vampire shows, but that would lead to how I knew who Angel was. What I did in my own time was none of his business, but I will swear up and down I only watch it for Cordelia. She's saucy, I like that. Forcing myself away from that train of thought, I stifled a groan. "What if I promise not to brood?"

"Nope. Not your style. You brood. You get angry and you brood, then you go and do something stupid. We've gotten past the anger, so brooding is next."

I narrowed my eyes. "So what, you are going to attempt to break the pattern?"

His eyes lit up cheerfully. "I knew you'd see things my way, Snookums."

"Except, I don't." I opened the door and stepped onto the staircase that led to the basement. Before he could take a step, I shut the door and flipped the locks. The only way to get the door open was if it was unlocked from my side. I heard Quinn start to swear as I flipped the two switches that turned on the lights and turned the red bulb on outside the door that signaled someone was recording. That was unnecessary because I had locked the door, but I just wanted to get Quinn's goat a little.

I walked down the steps and pushed open the door at the bottom. It closed behind me and Quinn's curses just stopped. Thank God for soundproofing. Now that I was alone, I could really think. It was hard to think through everything that happened and consider all my options when trapped on a tour bus with Quinn. It never occurred to me to lock myself in the small sleeping room at the back to escape him.

I walked over to the small sofa pushed up against the wall and sat down, reaching for the guitar that was sitting on a stand next to it. It was old, worn, and fit in my hands. This was the guitar my grandfather had given me, the one that started it all. I held it across my lap, positioning my fingers along the neck and strummed. The clear sound filled the room and I began to play just for the sake of playing.

I played the old tune that had been the first I learned, sinking into the old memories. Everything could be solved with music, or at least, that's how it worked for me. Whatever problems I had, I played my way through them. Most of my songs were written when I was in such moods. Including Living with Regrets.

The irony was not lost on me. The last time I had felt despair like this was when I had awoken to find Sookie gone. I returned to Nashville and shut myself away for almost two weeks and when I reappeared, I had written my first hit.

My fingers itched as I played and I felt the first stirrings of a song in my mind. I set the guitar aside and went to fetch some clean paper. I sat back down and began to work on what would be the opening verse of a new song, unaware of how much time was passing.

This was a year that seemed to be wrapped up in tragedy and surprises. First the floods which devastated the city I had come to love. Then finding out I had a child. The two wove themselves together as I wrote until I couldn't tell where one pain began and the other ended. My fingers ached by the time I put the pencil down and read over the lyrics I had just created. Satisfied, I tossed the paper down and leaned back on the sofa, guitar in hand, just playing absently as I thought.

Sookie had looked so disappointed and upset when I had told her I was coming back here. I believe, I had to believe it, that she did not want me to leave. Could I really believe her when she claimed to regret not telling me about Justin? Was she really so afraid that I would have only come back because she was pregnant? Did she really doubt that I loved her that much?

It was confusing to think about because to be honest, I wasn't sure if I would have gone back simply because I loved her or because of the child. I had been raised to do the right thing and my family was old fashioned enough that if you got someone pregnant, you got married. It was how my sister Janice ended up married and my parents for that matter.

My parents didn't love each other at first, it had just been a fling that resulted in me. Janice had been the child born of love. And Janice and her husband? Well since I didn't talk to my sister, I couldn't say if she married her husband because she loved him as well as being pregnant. Hell, I only knew I had a nephew and what he looked like because Momma sent me pictures every year at Christmas. Janice fucking hated me for leaving and turning from the family business.

But I loved Sookie, that was the point. I had loved her enough back then that I had been willing to go back to her before I got famous and before she found out she was pregnant, so didn't that mean something? I would have gone back because I loved her. It was because of love, not just because the child.

Now...now I was going back because I could. I wanted to get to know my son and I wanted him to know me. Sookie played no part in my decision. Or so I kept telling myself. I tried to hate her and it lasted only a few minutes. No matter how much she hurt me and betrayed me, I couldn't out right hate her. I could be angry at her, that was no problem, but hate was not part of it. I wasn't sure if I still loved her because of how much we had both changed.

It was very clear that Sookie was no longer the woman I had fallen in love with. I was no longer the man she loved. Our time apart, having our own separate lives, developing our careers, it had changed us. Sookie had changed the most and I understood why. She had raised a child in the last five years. Motherhood had changed it.

Softened her and hardened her all the same. I had never seen such determination in her eyes as I had when she told me she wouldn't allow Justin to be harmed. It reminded me of a mother bear protecting her cub. I knew then that Sookie would do absolutely anything to keep Justin safe, even if it meant preventing me from seeing him.

I couldn't blame her. You see it all the time in the tabloids how in the spot light celebrity children are. Granted it wasn't such a problem with children of country music stars, though you had some, usually when it was a music/Hollywood combination like Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman and their daughter.

I was in the spotlight enough that when it came out that I had a son, and I had no doubt it eventually would, Justin would be targeted by eager photographers and our names would be smeared in tabloids. It would make a fetching headliner, "Country's Hottest Star's Lovechild Discovered In Small Town, USA". Fuck. I had to keep Justin a secret for as long as I could. The press was relentless.

Justin. Hell, that was one adorable and smart child. I could hardly believe with the way he acted that he was only turning five. He was so intelligent, you could see it in his eyes. So like his mother. I wondered if there was even a hint of me in him.

But then, there was. Maybe Sookie had missed it, but I had seen the way his eyes lit up when he asked me about my music and performing. I knew what that was, having experienced it myself. He was drawn to music like a moth to the flame.

Thinking about that gave me an idea. So I gathered up the lyrics I had written and headed back up the stairs. I had no idea what I was going to do with Sookie or how my feelings for her were going to change or stay the same, but I did know how I was going to connect with Justin and for now that was the only thing that mattered.

Quinn was waiting for me in the kitchen, a big bowl of chili in front of him. It was way too hot for chili, but he had insisted on starting up a big pot when we arrived. How he could eat something so hot and spicy when the temperature was spiking into the 100s was beyond me. It made me a little sick just looking at him.

"Well, have you finished brooding?" he asked as he dipped a cracker into the bowl.

I scowled at him and tossed the papers on the table for him to look at. "I wasn't brooding, I was writing."

"Alcide," he drawled and pushed his bowl away, "for you it's the same damn thing. You always write when you are brooding. What magic did you create this time?"

I said nothing and went to fix a sandwich while he read the newest song, humming under his breath. I leaned against the counter, phone book in front of me and ate as I flipped through it. Being Nashville there were several music stores that sold instruments but I was looking for something in particular and I didn't have a lot of time to order it since Justin's birthday was on Saturday.

I was digging out a pen to circle several numbers when Quinn finally spoke. "Damn."

"What? I thought it was good."

"It is good. That's the problem."

I turned to give my friend a baffled look. "You realize that what you just said makes no sense. How can it be a problem if it's good?"

Quinn rolled his eyes and tapped a finger against the paper. "Because, you always write your best shit when you are upset and brooding. I hate you upset and brooding because it's a mood killer, but how can I be against it when you write another number one hit? You see my problem?"

I stared at him and started to laugh. Big belly laughs that kept coming until I was doubled over. I can't say why it struck me as so funny only it wasn't his words or logic so much as the belligerent look on his face. It was simply priceless, the conflict that he was suffering from.

I sucked in a breath and pointed a finger at him. "I'm so sorry for causing so much conflict in your life."

Quinn glared at me. "Fuck you, man, fuck you."

"Succinct," I said blandly, "Now we know why I'm the writer and you just play the guitar."

"Hey, I'm the best damn guitarist you got."

"You mean besides myself, right?"

"Hell no, I'm better than you."

I arched a brow. "Willing to prove that?"

Quinn smirked and leaned back in his chair. "Any time, any place."

"I'll remember that," I said vaguely, and looked at the clock. As much as I wanted to go to the music stores tonight, it was getting too late. I scribbled the name of the stores and the phone numbers on a pad of paper so I wouldn't have to go hunting through the phone book tomorrow. Quinn watched as I tore the paper from the pad and pocketed it.

"What's that?"

"Numbers to some music stores."

"Why do you need numbers for music stores? You don't need a new guitar...do you?"

I shook my head. "No, it's for something else. A present."

Understanding lit his eyes. "Justin?"

I nodded and opened the fridge to grab two beers. I passed him one and sat down and explained the idea I had. By the time I finished, Quinn was grinning. "You're a good man, Charlie Brown."

"Oh bite me. Sookie might kill me before it's over."

"Eh, fuck her. You got five years to make up for."

I tipped the beer back and took a long swallow. "Isn't that how I got in this situation in the first place?"

Quinn snorted and set his beer down quickly. "Point. But tell me, Alcide, would you change it if you could? Not the not knowing Justin because that was out of your hands. But Sookie in general?"

I paused before taking another sip of my beer. That was one question I hadn't allowed myself to think about. Now I tried to picture a life where I never knew Sookie, or never gotten involved with her, or hell, never slept with her that night of Gran's funeral. I just couldn't see it. We had been friends since we were children. Sookie had always been a part of my life, one way or another both in my past and now. A day had not gone by that I never thought of her in one fashion or another.

I finally shook my head. "No, I wouldn't change anything about Sookie and our relationship."

"Why not?"

"Because I loved her. How can you consider changing that? Doesn't compute."

"God you are such a woman."

I smirked at him. "Says the man who has his legs waxed."

"You son of a bitch, you said you'd never mention that again. It was just that one time!" Quinn glared at me over his beer. "You know I didn't do it on my own free will."

"Yeah, so says you. Funny thing is," and I laughed as his cheeks darkened, "you did do it the second time on your own free will."

"How the hell did you find out about that?" Quinn asked, too startled to deny it.

"Quinn, you babble a lot when you are drunk. And we were quite drunk during the party to celebrate my ACM win last year. I also had a look at your appointment book when I was waiting for you one day, you have regular salon appointments."

Quinn looked completely defeated them came back with, "I don't always have my legs waxed."

I held up a hand quickly to stop him from going on. "Stop right there. I don't want to know what goes on during those salon treatments. You do your thing, I'll do mine."

Now Quinn was smirking. "Yeah, who is it that gets manicures?"

I was laughing now. "Screw you. They feel good."

Quinn sighed and finished off his beer. "You know, it's a good thing we are both very secured in our masculinity."

"Says the gay man," I joked.

"Hey, someone has to be the guy in my relationships," he retorted.

"What relationships?" In all the time I've known Quinn, he's had absolutely one relationship with a man named Russell Edgington. They had started dating the year before I wrote Living with Regrets. Then it all when south when Russell couldn't handle Quinn signing on with my band and being gone on tours with me. Which made absolutely no sense to me since Russell was very involved with the music industry. Quinn ended things when Russell issued the ultimatum, him or me. I was a little surprised and touched then Quinn chose to stay with the band since he and Russell had a good thing going for them.

Quinn's pale eyes darkened and I knew he was thinking about Russell. Fuck. I had meant it as a joke and instead it had been a joke fail and now Quinn was wallowing in his own bad memories. Sure Quinn had ended the relationship, but it had still hurt him. I spent more than one night nursing a beer while he tossed back the whiskey and bitched about Russell. And those were the good nights.

"Sorry, didn't mean to bring up memories," I muttered and went to fetch two more beers.

Quinn shook his head and accepted the beer I offered him. "Nah, it's fine. Guess I can see where you are coming from. Maybe. I don't know. I'm glad I like dick. I don't think I could handle something like this."

I tried to picture Quinn with a woman and having a child and it just wasn't happening. That isn't to say Quinn wouldn't make a great father, because he would. I just couldn't see him with a woman, in a sexual relationship. Charming as he is, and he's right up there in women offering him their numbers and one night stands when we go out, but he was a man's man all the way. His sexuality was something he'ds ben secure in since he was fifteen, and I couldn't picture him any other way.

"I don't think I could handle you fathering a child with a woman five years ago," I joked, "Just picturing you with a woman is disturbing enough."

Quinn got an evil glint in his eyes. "So if I told you I actually slept with a woman once years ago..."

He trailed off as I just stared at him in shock. "You what?

"Don't look so shocked, Alcide. I may be gay, but I did try and see if I could do the straight thing. It didn't work out, but I have had sex with a woman."

I felt like my head was going to explode. Hearing that Quinn had actually had a sexual relationship with a woman was like the icing on the cake of bombshells I had gone through the last few days. Seriously, I had never seen him go anywhere beyond friendly flirting with a woman in a distant, yet charming manner.

While I was processing this little tidbit that Quinn decided to drop into my lap, he was finishing off his beer with a grin. Then I snorted and started to laugh. Quinn arched a brow. "What's so funny?"

I stood and clapped him on the shoulder and said, "I hope to hell you used protection, otherwise you might find yourself in the same predicament as I am."

Quinn gave me a horrified look, which made me laugh some more. I was still laughing after listening to his very frantic and firm claims that he used protection and told him goodnight. After I showered and got into bed, I started to think that maybe Quinn was fucking with me to cheer me up. Regardless of whether he was telling the truth, I did fall asleep with a more cheerful attitude than I had expected. My life might be getting more complicated than I liked, but I figured it was about time threw me a curve ball. I'd either swing and hit or miss, but I'd manage.

Thursday came quicker than I thought it would. Tuesday came and went in a blink of an eye it seemed and Wednesday was pretty much the same. I spent some time on the phone with a local animal shelters in the Shreveport area trying to locate a puppy for Justin. I got lucky at the shelter in Monroe and made arrangements to pick the pup up Friday. Wednesday I had given in to the urge to call and talk to Justin, I was surprised when Sookie invited me to a family only dinner when I called and Justin was out with her friends. It gave me something to look forward to.

Thursday I spent the mornings doing interviews for a few magazines and I had my interview with Katie Cook. Like my previous interview, the spunky blonde had me laughing the whole time and I promised to come back soon. The early afternoon hours were spent with my manager and agent, going over my schedule for the upcoming fall season and my contracts with the record company, which were due for renewal after the first of the year. Yeah it was early but Bobby, my agent, was convinced he could get me a better record deal than the one I already had. Since he had been with me from the start five years ago, I trusted him.

After the meeting with them, I headed home to get ready for the charity concert. It was being held at Bridgestone Arena, one of the lucky places that did not sustain massive water damage. This was just one of many benefit concerts that had been held in order to raise money for flood victims and I was proud that I had been asked to participate. As bad as it sounded, originally I was going to do it. I felt that I would be too exhausted to give a good performance after just getting off a long tour, but a quick call to my manager after finding out about Justin secured me a spot. I just needed to do something that wasn't for me, something that would benefit those who had worse times than I was having.

Since I had been scheduled so late, my performance was squeezed in between that of Martina McBride and Jason Aldean. Martina was a tough act to follow, but I knew that if I performed the right songs, I could warm up the crowd for Aldean. However, that wasn't my plan.

The past two days had been spent with Quinn in every spare moment possible to learn the new song I had wrote. I would open my three number set with Living with Regrets and end the set with what I was calling Never Breaking, this one with Quinn as my only accompaniment. The first half of the concert went off without a hitch, then came Martina McBride. Shit, the minute I heard the opening chords to her song Anyway, I knew she'd be a tough act to follow, though this wasn't a concert about being the best, it was still in my competitive nature to want to be the best.

She came off stage breathless and with an easy grin for me. I laughed and told her that she just stole everyone's hearts with that performance. Then it was my turn to take the stage. I can't really say what was going through my mind for those first two songs. They were the two songs I was familiar with the most and it was like singing on automatic.

I had never debuted a song like this. I was reminded of Alan Jackson's performance at the CMAs in 2001 and how he debuted a song about the destruction of the Twin Towers in New York and how it affected people. He said it was a song that just struck him and it had touched millions of lives. Since he was a man I looked up to and admired, I could only hope that my song had even a fraction of effect that his had.

I was nervous when I took my spot in front of the microphone as Quinn came to stand next to me, fingers poised over the strings of his guitar. Before I started to sing, I looked out at the crowd gathered, fans who came to show their support for a cause near and dear to each of their hearts. They were here because they believed in what this concert supported and because they wanted to help. Even if this song turned out to be a flop, it was worth it because I was looking at people who came together in support of one another and to help others who needed it.

"I wrote this song a couple days ago, literally. This is the first time I've performed it for an audience and I'm glad to be performing it for this one. It's about picking up the pieces of what's left behind and rebuilding, because that's what we do. We don't break."

As the crowd grew silent, I nodded at Quinn. He started us off and I joined in with the haunting melody that had practically begged to be written. With Quinn playing and singing back up, I sang about how no matter how much you get beaten down, you never break. How life can test you, but you never break under the pressure. You might have your world collapsing around you, but you picked up the pieces and you went on, never breaking. You bend in the wind that tempts, but you never broke.

It was a song that was about rebuilding after the floods as much as it was a song about what I was going through. I was feeling pretty beaten down, betrayed, and hurt, but I wouldn't break under that pressure. I wouldn't give into the rage that simmered there, just below the surface, no matter how tempting it was. The love I had for Sookie would always be there, that was something I couldn't change, but I wasn't sure I liked her enough to be in love with her, not after what she did. I could, I hope, be friends with her and at the moment it was the best I could do. I wasn't ready to reopen my heart to her. I already loved Justin and that was one thing I knew wouldn't change.

When I let the last note die away, I waited for a response. It was immediate and it was thunderous. The crowd just erupted and I stared out at them, amazed by the way they were reacting, I saw the fierce determination that lit up more than one pair of eyes, and the tears that said I had managed to create another song that touched someone's life. As a singer, I couldn't ask for more than that.

I declined going to the celebratory party with others to cut loose over the amount of money raised in ticket sales and donations. I had a couple more interviews scheduled tomorrow and one last meeting with Bobby before my vacation officially started. I wanted to be well rested because this time tomorrow evening, I would be celebrating something else entirely and I wanted to be as prepared for it. For the first time in five years, I'd be going to my son's birthday party.

**Author's Notes: Like I said before, my totally awesome beta, scribeninja, formally known as LindsayK, helped me make a decision with this chapter. Given the condition of Nashville after the floods in May and the fact that this story takes place around the end of June, I was having a hard time deciding if I should include the aftermath of the floods or ignore them. As you can see, I chose to include them because it was a pretty tragic thing and I wanted to bring some awareness to that. The pictures of Nashville after the floods made me cry. The concert mentioned in this chapter is based off of the concert that Tim McGraw and Faith Hill spearheaded to raise money for flood relief. I didn't get to to go the concert, so it's basically based on what I read in articles about it. Martina McBride did perform and she did sing her song Anyway. Other than that, I made it all up. I'm going to stop babbling, but I'm going to include links in my profile to the McBride song mentioned and to the Alan Jackson song Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning because to me, they are just amazing songs and really mean something. Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Review and let me know what you think! I love all my amazing readers.**


	12. Somebody's Hero

**Author's Notes: So I got some news but I'll say it in the A/N at the end of the chapter. Thanks to scribeninja for the wonderful beta'ing and the brainstorming. Ya'll this fic is going to rock in later chapters. We did some hardcore brainstorming for this fic.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SVM or the characters. **

**It's Your Song**

**Chapter Twelve**

_And that smile lets her know she's somebody's hero _

_~Somebody's Hero by Jamie O'Neal_

**SPOV**

I woke up Friday morning to a small body climbing into bed and cuddling up next to me. A smile teased my lips and I felt hands poke at my cheeks. I lazily opened my eyes and looked into Justin's big excited ones. I tried to keep from laughing as I asked, "What's the big idea, buddy?"

"Guess what, Mommy?" He bounced to his knees and leaned over me, a big grin on his face.

"I don't know, what?" I asked, pretending to not know why he was so excited.

"Mommy!" he cried and poked my arm. "You know what!"

"Nah-uh," I said as I grabbed him and flipped him over. I curled my fingers in front of his face. "I only know that someone woke me up before the alarm. You know what that means."

I started to tickle him, making him shriek with laughter. "TICKLE MONSTER!"

"No, Mommy! Not the tickle monster!" Justin shouted through his giggles. I found his ticklish spot and dug in, tickling him until he was panting and squirming away from me. It was only when he almost rolled off the bed that I stopped.

I wrapped my arm around him and pulled him against me. "Why did you wake me up, Justin?"

His lips turned down in a pout. "Do you really not remember?"

"Remember what?" I teased. When his pout grew, I gave in. "If you are talking about a little boy who turns five today, well how could I forget? Happy birthday baby!"

As his eyes lit up, I smothered his face in kisses, making him laugh more. He shoved at me and tried to cover his face. When we were both breathless, I stopped and kissed the top of his head. "What does the birthday boy want for breakfast?"

"Chocolate chip pancakes!" he shouted excitedly.

"I dunno, chocolate for breakfast?"

"Puh-leaze?" Justin asked, dragging out the word.

I laid back and pretended to consider it. When he started to make whimpering noises, I finally said, "Oh I suppose we can have chocolate chip pancakes for your birthday breakfast. But first," I held up a hand before he could lunge off the bed, "you have to go and get dressed and let me get showered and dressed. It may be your birthday, but I still have to work today."

"Fiiiiiiine," he whined and jumped off the bed. "Can I go wake up Aunt Mellie and Unca Tray?"

I thought about my two friends who would be snuggled under their blankets still asleep if Justin's cries hadn't already woke them up. I couldn't be that mean, could I? Staring into the twinkling eyes of my son, I knew I could. "Go get them!"

Justin let out a wild yell as he raced out of my room. I sat up and listened to the sounds of his feet thundering up the stairs. I started snickering when I heard a door slam against a wall and Amelia's startled cry as Justin yelled at the top of his lungs. A thump soon followed the cry. Yeah, if they weren't up before, they were now.

Still snickering, I slipped out of bed and headed to the shower. The hot water went a long way to waking me up and I was in the middle of shampooing my hair when suddenly the water turned ice cold. My shriek was loud enough to break glass and I stumbled back, knocking down my body wash and conditioner to get out of the icy spray. I heard laughter outside the bathroom door and Amelia yelled, "Fix it, Tray!"

I shivered as I waited for the water to warm up. Once it ran hot again, I hurried through washing my hair and got out before they could turn off the hot water again. I wrapped a towel around my body and hair and stepped out into my bedroom.

Amelia lounged on my bed with a shit eating grin on her face. "Nice shower?"

I shook my finger in her face. "I'm going to hurt you."

"Back at ya," Amelia snickered. "Letting Justin wake us up was a mean trick. The boy don't know how to do anything quietly."

"At least he didn't poke you awake," I pointed out as I disappeared into my closet.

Amelia laughed. "No, he just screamed and jumped on the bed, making me fall out."

I was laughing when I came out of the walk-in closet, a pair of jeans and a LSU tank top in hand. "Maybe Tray should tie you in bed."

Amelia got up off my bed and gave me a saucy wink. "Whose to say he doesn't?"

I shuddered and held up my hand. "Please, that is an image I don't need."

"Oh he doesn't do it here, but at the apartment over the garage? Well..." She trailed off and laughed at the pained look on my face. Amelia never learned the term over share. I didn't need a sex life. I had hers.

"Oh gee, Ames, my delicate ears."

"Delicate ears my rear. Get dressed. Justin was begging Tray to start the pancakes. I'm going to go and make sure that they aren't just eating the chocolate."

I arched a brow. "You mean you are going to go help them eat the chocolate."

"Well, yes. See you when you come out."

I shook my head and went back into the bathroom to finish getting ready for the day. I had planned on taking the day off and spending it with Justin, but he had begged me to let him go to daycare today. They were going to have a small party for him and he just had to go. Since I wasn't one to deny my son those simple pleasures, I had agreed. Still, I didn't have anything major to do at work. Just some annual shots, one neutering, and the rest of the day would be spent getting caught up on my paperwork and cleaning the clinic.

I walked into the kitchen and saw organized chaos. Amelia was chasing Justin around the table. Justin was being chased because he had snatched the bag of chocolate chips. Tray was watching them with an amused expression as he stirred up the pancake batter. I headed straight to the coffee pot. Caffeine was definitely needed to survive the morning.

"Can't you control them?" I asked Tray as I stirred hazelnut creamer in my coffee.

Tray grinned at me. "And deny Amelia her morning work out?"

I watched with a grin as Justin crawled under the table and sat in the middle. Amelia was bending over and grabbing at him and he just laughed as he tried to open the bag of chocolate chips.

"From the way I hear it," I drawled with a smirk, "you give her quite the work out already."

Tray blushed and turned away quickly, muttering something about Amelia and needing to keep her mouth shut. I giggled and set down my coffee and went to rescue the chocolate chips. Justin beamed at me as I leaned down to look at him. I held my hand out. "If the birthday boy wants chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast, he best be handing over the most important ingredient."

Justin sighed. "Nuts. Almost had it open."

He handed over the chips and I straightened up and Amelia did the same. She looked at me and rolled her eyes. "How come he doesn't listen to me?"

I gave Tray the chocolate and gave her a smile. "Because I scare him more. You are just the old softy aunt who lets him get away with everything."

"I do not," Amelia protested.

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. "Oh yeah, who took him out two days ago and who came home with not one but two singing and dancing cars?"

Jason had resisted Justin's pleas Sunday, so Justin turned the charm on Wednesday night when Amelia and Tray took him out for an early birthday dinner. When they came home, he was carrying a Wal-Mart sack that held the singing and dancing Mustang and PT Cruiser.

Amelia tried to look contrite and failed miserably because her lips kept twitching into a smile. "Early birthday presents."

"My ass," I muttered and finished off my coffee. By the time I poured a second cup, Justin was sitting in his seat watching Tray flip pancakes with an eagle eye. The kitchen smelled of buttermilk pancakes and melted chocolate. Even my mouth was watering by the time Tray finished and set the platter in the middle of the table.

I put two on a plate for Justin and at his request, poured strawberry syrup on them. I chose a rich maple syrup for my own stack of pancakes. We ate and teased Justin about what he was getting for his birthday. Each question on what he was getting was answered with a switch or bucket of coal. The last time Tray said that, Justin smartly informed him that it wasn't Christmas so coal couldn't be a present. Added to that, he had been a good boy this year, which made us all dissolve into laughter.

After breakfast, I sent Justin off to get cleaned up while I checked my messages on my phone. There was a brief text from Alcide saying that he'd be arriving in Shreveport around four this afternoon. I had been doing so well about not thinking about him at all today and it all came back as I read the text.

Amelia noticed the frown on my face and asked, "What's going on?"

I looked at her and bit my lip. I hadn't told her or Tray that Alcide would be joining us this evening. She was going to kill me for holding something like this back. "Ah, Alcide and his friend Quinn are coming for dinner tonight."

"Why is that man coming, Mommy?" Justin asked from the doorway.

Oh shit. I hadn't noticed him standing there. I looked over at him and saw his face scrunched up in confusion. Amelia shot me a 'You are on your own' look and dragged Tray into the living room. Justin came over and tugged on my shirt.

"Why, Mommy? I thought it was just gonna be us and Unca Jay and Aunt Crystal." he asked again.

Happy birthday, baby, this year you get a daddy as your present!

Yeah, no, I couldn't tell him like that. I leaned down and opened my arms. Justin stepped into them and I lifted him up, settling him on my hip. Oomph, he was getting heavy. I wouldn't be able to pick him up and hold him like this much longer. Justin wrapped his arms around my neck and looked at me expectantly.

I finally said, "Well baby, I invited Alcide because he sounded really interested in getting to know you."

"But it's family night," Justin protested.

Another minefield to navigate. "Alcide is a good friend, like Aunt Tara. That makes him family."

"But, he's never been around before so how can he be family?"

Good point. I shifted Justin to my other hip and said, "That's because he's been really busy. Singers have very busy lives and he's wanted to be here before, but never could make it. Just like how sometimes Aunt Tara can't come because of business."

"I dunno Mommy," Justin said warily, "I don't know him."

I fixed a bright smile on my face and said persuasively, "That's why he's coming tonight, so you can get to know him."

Justin crossed his arms and looked thoughtful. His voice was sugary sweet when he asked, "Will he bring me presents?"

My son, the mercenary. I sighed and tousled his hair as I sat him down. He really was too heavy to hold for too long and my arms felt like noodles after holding him for five minutes. Time to go back to the gym. I ran my fingers through Justin's hair again and said, "He might. But if he doesn't, you won't say a thing about it. You'll thank him for coming to your party."

He scuffed a toe on the floor and rolled his eyes up to look at me. I crossed my arms under my chest and stared down at him, one brow arched. Several minutes passed before he finally nodded. "Alright. I guess it's okay if he comes, if you want him to."

I knelt and pulled him into my arms for a hug. "I do sweetie. Just give him a chance, I'm sure you will like him."

"If I don't?"

I frowned at him. "Why don't you just focus on maybe liking him instead of not liking him. You have to give him a fair chance."

"He yelled at you."

"Justin, we went over that. He didn't mean it and Alcide apologized to you and to me. Don't be stubborn."

"Unca Jay says I'm stubborn as a mule," Justin said with a grin.

I rolled my eyes. "Your Uncle Jason would know all about that."

"He said you were too, but not to say he said that because you kick like one too," Justin added.

I laughed. I couldn't help myself. When would Jason learn that you couldn't tell a child not to say anything about something because they will turn right around and say it? Justin wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me tight. "I love you, Mommy, and I don't think you are like a mule at all. You are too pretty."

"Well thank you sweetie. Why don't you go get your bag, it's time to leave." I watched him run out of the room and a few minutes later Amelia and Tray came back in. I glared at them. "Traitors."

"Eh," Amelia said with a wave of her hand. "Sounds like you handled it just fine, Sookie."

I sighed and poured the cold remains of my coffee cup down the sink. "You think?"

"Best you could," Tray said reassuringly. "So, we grilling tonight?"

I nodded. "Yeah, Jason is handling the food this year, well part of it. He picked up hamburger meat, hot dogs, and buns. He said he'd make up patties before he came over so all we have to worry about is the cake and the rest of the food. I figured on some potato salad, macaroni, and some grilled veggie kabobs. That's all easily made up and I can do it when I get in from the clinic."

"You staying all day?"

"Yeah, I need to get caught up on paperwork. I have files to update and bills to get ready to mail out. That will take most of the afternoon." I gathered up my purse, which was really more of a large tote, and shouldered it as Justin walked in, backpack on his back. "I don't know why I let that stuff pile up."

Amelia's eyes twinkled as she winked at Justin. "Because you like chaos in the office. It's how you function."

I grabbed my keys and blew them a kiss goodbye as I ushered Justin out the door. "Probably because of the chaos at home. Office feels weird without it. I'll see you all later! Ames, don't forget to pick up the cake."

She yelled something about not being the one to forget stuff and I heard Tray protesting that he only forgot their anniversary once. I was laughing as I buckled Justin into his booster seat and got in and pulled out. Dropping Justin off didn't take long. He didn't even wait to tell me goodbye before he was rushing off to join his little friends and I heard excited yells over cupcakes. At least someone was going to have fun today.

My assistant slash receptionist was already at the clinic when I arrived. Jessica was talking on the phone and winked at me as I strolled past to my office. From the end of the conversation I heard, she was getting a new client set up with their first appointment. I repressed a sigh and thanked God that the appointment wasn't until next week. When I opened the clinic almost a year ago, I hadn't really expected to have a lot of business. Bon Temps was small, little over 3,000 people living here, and most took their pets and stock to vets in Monroe or Shreveport. Even though my clinic was convenient, I hadn't expected them to leave clinics where they have gone for years to come to me. I had underestimated the desire to have a local vet.

As much as I enjoyed my job, and I really did, I was starting to consider a vacation. Maybe I'd take a couple weeks off towards the end of summer, take Justin somewhere nice. Disney World maybe. I could probably swing that. Invite Ames, Tray, and Jason along. Make it a family vacation. I supposed if I invited Jason, Crystal would come along. Damn.

I put all thoughts of a family vacation out of my head and started focusing on my work. I managed to get all my appointments for the day scheduled in the morning so I went through the appointment book Jessica left on my desk. I had a dog coming in for shots and I headed into my exam room to prep it.

The morning passed quickly and around noon I sent Jessica off to Merlotte's to pick us up some lunch. There had been a small complication to the neutering I had scheduled and as a result, I had a big Lab in one of the dog cages in the back. He had a bad reaction to the anesthesia and I wanted to observe him for a few hours to make sure he would be okay.

When Jessica got back with our lunches, we sat around my desk and ate while we gossiped. Jessica fiddled with her fork, plunging the plastic tines into a leaf of lettuce several times before she said, "I heard that Alcide Herveaux was coming back to town."

I dabbed my fry into the ketchup and studied her. Jessica was just a couple years younger than me and had been a sophomore to my senior in high school so she knew all about Alcide and mine's relationship. When the IT COUPLE broke up, everyone knew about it. She had graduated and gone off to school and had studied to be a vet technician. She was a damn good one, and I had gotten lucky when we both moved back to Bon Temps at the same time. I couldn't ask for a better assistant who didn't have a problem doubling as a receptionist.

All that being said, we weren't close. We worked together and talked when we saw each other outside of work. Her niece went to the same daycare as Justin and since she was close to her niece, we had that in common. In fact, Jessica was bringing Deborah to Justin's big party tomorrow.

When I looked at her I didn't see the gossip hungry expression I had come to expect when Alcide was mention. I just saw open curiosity. It was innocent enough so I said, "Yeah, he's going to be staying out at the Herveaux place."

"You don't sound so excited about that, Sookie," Jessica pointed out as she popped a cherry tomato in her mouth.

I shrugged and munched on a fry. "I am and I'm not. I think too many people expect the two of us to pick up where it ended and that is not going to happen."

Jessica reached for her bottled water. "I don't blame you."

I glanced up at her sharply, thinking that maybe she somehow knew about Justin. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well Sookie," she waved her fork to gesture, "the two of you were 18 when you broke up. It's been what, ten years? People just don't get back together after ten years like that. I imagine both of you have changed an awful lot. Who knows if you are even compatible anymore?"

I thought back to that kiss shared in his dressing room. The heat that burned between us was something that definitely occurred if two people were compatible. Hell, I couldn't even look at him or hear his voice without wanting to jump him. It's been like that forever. Of course, that could just be lust. All the same, I think the fact that I still wanted to be with him after everything that has happened says something. It couldn't just be lust.

"Yeah, who knows," I said softly when I realized Jessica was looking at me expectantly. Hell I did not want to have a heart to heart like this with Jessica. She was a good friend, but we were not close enough for this kind of thing.

"You still like him," she said suddenly. At my surprised look, she grinned. "You zoned out for five minutes and got stars in your eyes. I think it's great you still like him. Maybe the two of you will get back together after all. It will be just like a fairy tale."

"Heh, maybe," I replied slowly. "Well lunch break is over. Let's get back to work. You get started on getting everything cleaned up and I'll get started on the paperwork."

"You got it boss," Jessica threw her Styrofoam tray in the trash and looked at me, "Sookie, I don't want to step over the line, but I think that whatever happens with Alcide, you'll be just fine. You got a great career, a great son, and a fantastic family and friends. Who needs a man when you got all that?"

I said nothing as she walked out the door. With all I had, was having a man in my life, even Alcide, so important? Of course not. I'd gone five years without a man, so I knew I didn't need one. But, I did need Alcide. I wasn't sure I'd ever have him, but I did need him, want him. Gran always told me that everyone has one person they were meant to be with. Sometimes they find that person and other times they don't. If you found that person, then you should hang onto them because you won't find another like them. Alcide was that person for me, I just knew it, and I would have to live the rest of my life knowing that I might not get him back.

It was times like this I wished Gran was alive. I missed her so much. What I missed the most was how she somehow always managed to make sense of things. Some of the best advice I got was from her. It was too bad I never listened to her when she told me to go after Alcide. Things would be so different if I had back then.

I shrugged and forced myself to focus on the task at hand. There was no use crying over spilled milk. What was done was done. You couldn't turn back the clock. There was no magical way to fix the mess I made. I'd just have to muddle through and hope for the best. How many times was I going to tell myself that? I was starting to sound like a broken clock in my head.

I nudged the mouse next to my hand and got to work. Updating files really didn't take that long, it was just that I hated doing it and I had a tendency to let everything pile up. Same with billing. Now that was a pain in the ass. I really needed to hire someone with a talent for numbers to come in once a week and do this shit, but I wasn't at a point where I could afford another employee.

Around three o'clock I was just about finished with addressing the envelopes for the bills, when Jessica came in, a smile on her face. "Sookie, we have a medical emergency."

When I looked up, startled, she winked at me and I relaxed a little. I stood up, Jessica said, "The medical emergency is a sick hamster. It's Holly and her boy."

"Oh," I replied with a laugh. "Well, let's go see what's wrong with the hamster."

I walked into the waiting room with Jessica to find Holly and her son standing by the desk out there. Cody was holding a travel cage and I bent down to look at the fat hamster inside. "Well, Mr. Cleary, shall we go back and see what's wrong?"

"Doctor Sookie, can you fix him? Franklin isn't feeling so well," Cody asked as I took him and Holly back into the newly cleaned exam room.

I patted the table in front of me and Cody put the cage down. I flicked the top open and reached in, sliding my hand gently under the hamster. With Cody watching me, I pulled the hamster out and made a show of examining the poor thing. Cody told me that Franklin was one of the two hamsters kept that the daycare and it was his week to take Franklin home. Holly said that they'd noticed had not been eating and was restless.

I nodded and stroked a finger down the swollen sides of the hamster. I felt something squirm and smiled. I put Franklin back in the cage and turned to Cody. "Well, Cody, Franklin isn't sick."

"He's not?"

"Sookie?" Holly asked.

I grinned at her. "You might want to let the daycare know that Franklin isn't a boy."

"He's not?" Cody asked with confusion.

Holly was looking at me with amusement as she got the picture. I turned to Cody and winked. "No, sir. Franklin is a girl and she's going to have babies."

"Really?" Cody's eyes lit up and turned to stare in awe at the hamster in the cage. While he crooned and talked about changing the name, I pulled Holly off to the side.

"I don't think she'll have the babies for another couple of days, but you should be prepared, just in case. If there are any problems, call me."

"Do you realize the can of worms this is going to open?" Holly asked as she watched her son reach into the cage and pet Franklin, who was going to need a new name.

I laughed. "Oh yeah. You have fun with that."

"That's just mean, Sookie," Holly said with a laugh. "Just wait until it is your turn."

"I dread the day."

"What do I owe you?"

I shook my head. "Don't worry about it."

Holly opened her mouth to protest when Jessica ran in without warning. I glanced over at my assistant and was startled to see her blue eyes wide and worry on her face. She held the portable phone in her hand. Something had happened, something big. Immediately my thoughts went to Justin.

"Jessica, what is it?" I asked as I stepped past Holly, ready to run out if she even mentioned Justin's name.

Jessica gave Holly a look and Holly quickly gathered up Cody and Franklin the hamster and left without a word. Jessica waited until they were out of ear shot and said quickly, "I just got a call from my friend who works at the animal shelter in Monroe. There was a fire."

Oh thank God it wasn't Justin, was my first thought.

"Oh hell," I said. "How?"

"They don't know but a lot of animals were injured. My friend knew I worked for you and called to see if you could come down and help out. They've only got one vet in Monroe and are calling around to ask for others. Sookie, it's bad. The firefighters still haven't gotten the fire under control and they are still bringing out animals."

"When did it happen?"

"About twenty minutes ago. As soon as they realized that there was going to be more injured animals than the vet could handle, they started calling for help."

"Shit," I muttered under my breath. I had to go, but Justin's party. I didn't want to miss it. I'd never missed his birthday party before. I certainly didn't want to miss this one since Alcide was going to be there. Who knew how long I'd be in Monroe taking care of injured animals. But, when I thought about all the animals that would be suffering, I knew I couldn't just go to the party and forget about them. I'd hate myself for it.

Jessica bit her lip. "I know that you had the family dinner thing for Justin's birthday."

I shook my head. "No, it's fine. He'll understand. Get supplies gathered up and loaded into the SUV. I'm going to call Amelia and let her know what's going on. We'll make a quick stop at the daycare so I can tell Justin and we'll head out." I glanced at the clock and did some quick mental calculations on how long it would take to get Monroe. "Call your friend and let him know we are on the way and will be there in thirty minutes."

I went back to my office and called Amelia, who was at home getting the house decorated for the party and wrapping gifts. I kept telling her that she didn't have to decorate for a small family affair, but she never listened. When she finally answered, she was slightly out of breath.

"Sookie?"

"Ames, listen, I need you to go and pick up Justin from daycare."

"What's going on?"

I grabbed my purse and held the phone to my ear as I started to help Jessica carry boxes of supplies out to the SUV. "There was a fire at the animal shelter in Monroe. They need help with the animals so Jessica and I are heading that way."

"Hell Sookie, that's tragic. Don't worry about Justin, we'll take care of him." Amelia's voice faded and I heard her telling Tray what happened.

"I'm going to stop at the daycare and explain to him what happened so he doesn't worry. But I have no idea when I'll be home."

"Don't worry about it. Go and do your animal hero thing. We'll save food for you."

I slid into the SUV and waited for Jessica to load the last box. "Ames, Alcide's plane lands around four."

"I've got his number. I'll give him a call around four thirty. Do you want me to tell him not to come?"

I bit my lip and finally shook my head. Realizing that she couldn't see it, I said, "No, if he wants to come, that's fine. You two and Jason will be there and I trust him."

"Oh yeah because he's so going to run off with your kid." Even over the phone I knew she was rolling her eyes at me.

"Look, gotta go. I'll call you when I'm on my way home."

"Be careful, Sookie," Amelia said and I told her I would before I hung up.

Jessica got in and buckled up. I drove to the daycare and went inside to talk to Justin while she called to get an update on the situation in Monroe. Justin saw me and came running over, party hat on his head.

"Mommy! My party was so much fun! I got presents!"

I adjusted the hat on his head and knelt so I was at his level. "I'm glad you had fun."

"I'll go get my stuff so we can go home. I can't wait for tonight. More presents!" He was bouncing up and down.

I smiled at him and shook my head. "No, sweetie. Amelia is going to be by to pick you up a bit."

"Why? Why can't I leave with you?"

One of the daycare assistants drifted over to ask what was wrong. I picked up Justin and told them both, "There was a fire at the animal shelter in Monroe. They called and asked for my help taking care of the injured animals."

Justin's lip jutted out in a pout. "But my dinner tonight!"

"I know sweetie, I know. I'm really sorry, but I have to go and help."

He pushed away from me and that action alone broke my heart. I bit my lip to keep from crying when he said, "But we always have a family dinner for birthdays!"

"Justin, honey, don't do this. You know that I would be there if I could. But there are hurt animals that need my help."

"Because you are an animal hero." He said it with a small smile that tugged at my heart.

"That's right," I said with a smile at the term Jason had taught Justin when he was three. It had taken him two months to learn how to say animal correctly. "I promise I will be home as soon as I can. We aren't eating until six, so I might still make it. But if I don't, we'll do something on Sunday, I promise."

"Is Unca Jay and Aunt Crystal still coming?"

"Yes, everyone is still coming," I answered and set him back down. "I have to go sweetheart. Hug and kiss?"

His arms wrapped around my waist and squeezed. I leaned down and gave him a kiss on the cheek, which he returned. I glanced up at the assistant, who reached over and touched his shoulder. Justin went to stand next to her as I walked away. It broke my heart to walk away, knowing that I was probably going to miss dinner. I suppose I should consider myself lucky that as a vet I don't have nearly as many emergencies that take me away from my family like people doctors do.

Jessica updated me on the fire situation as I sped towards Monroe. When we got there, the firefighters were still trying to suppress the fire. When a police officer asked who we were, I told them I was a vet and was here to help with the animals. He directed me to a furniture store down the street that had offered to serve as a triage center.

Five hours after arriving, Jessica and I were driving home, completely exhausted. It had been horrific, the state most of the animals were in. I don't think a single animal escaped being burned or having smoke inhalation problems. Two of the worst cases I had worked on were in the back of the SUV. Both dogs, a small pug mix and a lab mix, suffered from massive burns and probably wouldn't make it through the night. Jessica volunteered to stay at the clinic to keep an eye on them. I had done the best I could for them, but sometimes all you can do is pray and hope.

After getting Jessica and the dogs set up, I left, promising to call later to check in. It was ten o'clock when I got home. A strange black pick up was parked at the back of the house and I assumed it was Alcide's. I guessed he decided to come over after all. Tired, aching, smelling of smoke, and with soot smeared all over me, I walked up the back porch and into the kitchen. Amelia, Tray, and Alcide's friend Quinn were sitting around the kitchen table playing poker.

Amelia looked up at me and frowned. "Bad?"

"Awful," I admitted and put my purse on the counter. "Not that many animals were hurt bad, but there were some severe cases of burns. A lot died. I need a shower and a stiff drink."

"Well, I can't help with the shower, but I can fix you a drink," Amelia said as she rose from the table and headed to the cabinet where we kept the alcohol. We didn't keep much in the house, because of Justin, and what we did keep, we made sure was stored high enough he couldn't get it.

Amelia handed me the gin and tonic she mixed up and I glanced around. I didn't see Alcide, but hell, he could have been in the bathroom. At that moment I didn't really care. I just wanted a shower and I wanted to go and give Justin a goodnight kiss.

"Quinn, it's nice seeing you again, ignore how I look."

"Don't worry. Justin couldn't stop talking about how his mommy was an animal hero," Quinn replied with a grin.

My lips curved into a smile. "I hope he wasn't too much trouble."

"No, he was just sad that you weren't here," Tray reassured me.

"Don't remind me," I said bitterly. "I'm going to go take a shower and pop in and give him a kiss. I'll see you all tomorrow. Quinn, when Alcide comes back in, tell him I'm sorry I missed him."

The three of them exchanged a look but didn't say anything. I didn't say anything about it, though it was curious that they looked as thick as thieves. Guess they did some real bonding that evening. I took one last sip of my drink and set it aside. Tugging my hair out of the ponytail I headed to my bedroom.

I walked by the living room and saw something out the corner of my eye that made me stop and turn to get a better look. Alcide was stretched out on the couch and Justin was curled up on his chest. His little blonde head was tucked under Alcide's chin and Alcide's arms were wrapped around him. One of Justin's hands dangled over the side and was clutching the neck of a small child sized guitar. Both were sound asleep.

Justin looked so small laying on Alcide's larger form. There was something about the way Alcide was holding him, the way they looked laying there together. My heart did a slow flip flop in my chest and I felt tears gather in my eyes. So peaceful, that's what it was. They looked so peaceful and right laying there.

I must have made a small noise because Alcide did a slow blink and then his eyes shot open and zeroed in on me. I didn't move, didn't say anything. We just stared at each other in silence. I had no idea what to think or to say. What are you supposed to say when you walk in on the love of your life and the father of your child sleeping with said child who has no idea how deep the connection was?

Tears stung my eyes and I looked away, saying nothing. I walked down the hallway to my room and into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I leaned back against it, closed my eyes, and let the tears fall. All those dreams and fantasies I had about finally telling Alcide about Justin and having those tender family moments had been brought to life after seeing Justin and Alcide together. That little scene was one I had thought of more times than I could count. It was almost bittersweet to see it now.

A knock at the door had me jumping and turning around. "What?"

"Sookie," Alcide called through the door.

Oh hell no. I couldn't talk to him right now. I didn't want to see him until I had control of my emotions. It would be too easy to lean on him and he was such a good guy that he'd probably let me. I couldn't handle that. I swiped a hand under my eye and flipped the lock on the door. "I'll be out in a bit. I need a shower."

"We need to talk."

"After my shower, Alcide," I snapped. "I'm covered in soot and I smell like smoke. Let me get cleaned up."

Maybe the shower would clear my brain. Alcide was quiet and finally I heard him mutter, "Alright."

I sighed with relief and flipped on the hot water, balancing it out with some cold. Maybe if I stayed in the shower long enough, he'd leave and we wouldn't have to talk tonight. Avoidance at it's best. I stayed in the shower for almost thirty minutes and would have dragged it out longer if the hot water hadn't run out. Stupid water heater. After wrapping my body and hair into a towel, I opened the bathroom door to find Alcide stretched out on my bed and flipping through a magazine. His eyes shifted to me and I bit back a groan. Looks like we were going to have that talk after all.

**Author's Notes: Okay, my news. Now some of you read my other Sookie/Alcide story, STK. That story is very close to ending and I feel like all my attention is locked in on that story and IYS isn't getting the full attention it deserves. I am afraid that with all my attention focused on STK, I'm going to end up dropping the ball on IYS. So until I finish writing STK, I won't be writing or updating IYS. I am not abandoning this story or anything like that, I'm just putting on hold until I finish writing STK, which shouldn't take more than a week or two if I can stop procrastinating. As soon as I finish STK, I will start working on IYS. I promise. So, I'm going to stop rambling and I hope everyone understands why I'm putting IYS on hold and doesn't hate me. I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! Leave a review and I'll respond the best I can! **


	13. Watching You

**Author's Notes: Yeah, yeah, I know I asid that I wouldn't be writing and posting anymore on this fic until I finished my other. I'm a liar. Sue me. Actually this chapter got written because I needed something rather light and fluffy to write after finishing the latest chapter of STK. It is beta'd by the wonderful scribeninja who had me rolling on the floor laughing from her comments on the chapter. It was hilarious. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own SVM or the characters. **

**It's Your Song**

**Chapter Thirteen**

_I want to do everything you do, so I've been watching you._

_~Watching You by Rodney Atkins._

**APOV**

The plane touched down in Shreveport at 4:15 thanks to some delays. The first thing I did after Quinn and I walked into the airport was turn my phone on. My text and voice mail alerts went off, one right after the other. I read my texts first, nothing too important. One big one from my agent about the song I had performed at the charity concert. He wanted it recorded and released as a single. Sure, eventually. I ignored the rest of the texts to check my voice mail. There was one from Amelia asking me to call her at the old farmhouse.

Confused, I sent Quinn on ahead to rent a vehicle while I called Amelia. She answered on the first ring. "This is Alcide, you wanted me to call?"

"Yes, thank you for calling back. Your plane must have just landed," she said, and she sounded a little out of breath.

"A few minutes ago. Quinn and I were going to rent a truck and get our stuff and head out that way," I said as I started towards baggage claim.

Amelia sighed. "Well you might want to rethink that. Something has come up."

"Justin?" The slam of panic was unfamiliar and caught me off guard. I ducked into a alcove next to a restroom and waited anxiously for her response.

"No, geez, sorry. I should have said that right away," Amelia responded quickly. "It's Sookie. There was a fire at the animal shelter in Monroe and she went in to help with the injured animals."

The wave of relief left me dizzy. "Fire?"

"Yes. So she doesn't know when she'll be back. She asked me to call you and let you know what was going on."

"Did she not want me to come out or something?" I asked. I could understand why Sookie wouldn't want me around if she wasn't there, sorta. But I still wanted to be there.

Amelia paused and finally said, "No, she said if you still wanted to come on out, then it's fine with her. We aren't calling off the party or anything. Sookie just wanted you to have the option of not coming since she won't be there."

"Hmm," I said as I stood beside the baggage carousel and watched the luggage go by. I adjusted the two guitar cases I had slung over my shoulders and finally said, "If you don't mind, I'd still like to come. I have something for Justin."

"Sure," Amelia agreed easily. "Everyone's here. Jason and Tray are firing up the grill. We'll probably eat in an hour and a half or so."

"Sounds good to me. We'll stop at the house and get cleaned up then be right over."

"Looking forward to seeing you. Have a safe drive."

I hung up after saying good bye. I reached over and grabbed my suitcase and was waiting for Quinn's when the full implication of what Amelia had said hit me. A fire at the animal shelter in Monroe. Where I had a puppy waiting for me. Son of a bitch.

Quinn found me as I was loading our suitcases on a cart. "We set?"

"Yeah," I answered vaguely.

Knowing me as he did, he knew something was up just from looking at me. I was muttering under my breath as we made our way out of the airport and to the rental car lot. Quinn had the sense to wait until we were next to the Chevy Silverado he rented to ask, "What's up, Alc?"

I ran a hand through my hair and placed the black cowboy hat I had been holding on my head before saying, "There was a fire at the animal shelter in Monroe. Sookie went to help out with the injured animals."

"Damn," he swore softly. "Isn't that the place where you found the puppy for Justin?"

I nodded and tossed my suitcase in the bed of the truck before getting in it on the passenger side. "Yeah. I guess I'll call or go by tomorrow morning before the deal at Merlotte's to see what's going on. Nothing can be done today."

"The party tonight still on since Sookie is out?" Quinn got in the truck and started it up.

"Technically it's a dinner," I pointed out as he pulled out of the lot. "And yes it is. Head on into Bon Temps. I told Amelia that we'd be by after we unloaded at the house and got cleaned up some."

"What are you going to do if you can't get the pup?" Quinn asked as he braked at a red light.

I stared out the window and shrugged. "Look at another shelter. It isn't as if I don't already have a gift for him."

"Yeah but you said that Sookie said that he wanted a puppy," Quinn said with a lift of his brow.

"Then I'll find him a damn puppy," I growled and cranked up the radio. Alan Jackson and the Zac Brown Band came pouring out.

Quinn ignored that obvious request to stop talking and turned down the music. "Someone's cranky."

"I am not cranky. I'm just tired. I had those meetings this morning, had to go pick up Justin's gift and then the plane ride, where I got to listen to a squalling kid the entire time."

Quinn turned on the interstate. "So catch a nap. I'll wake you when we get into Bon Temps."

"I'll do that," I grumbled and tilted my hat low over my eyes to block the sun. He turned the music up and started to sing along with Kenny Chensey. I tuned him out and retreated into my own thoughts.

I wasn't half as tired as I led on. In fact, I felt pretty damn good. I was just, I don't know, depressed that I wouldn't be seeing Sookie tonight. Which of course made me angry that I wanted to see her so much. I wanted myself to not want to see her. I wanted to be able to just push her aside and move on with my life. Like my granddaddy always said, 'want in one hand and shit in the other and see which got fullest the first'. The shit hand was getting pretty damn full.

It didn't matter how much I wanted to be able to just put Sookie in the box marked friend/enemy, I wasn't going to be able to do it. We were too connected, even when you took Justin out of the equation. Sookie had dominated my thoughts for close to ten years and I might as well face it, I couldn't just turn off my feelings for her, angry or not.

Just last night I had a dream about us. We were out on a boat, doing some day sailing. She had been wearing a skimpy bikini, like the ones she used to wear during the summer when we were still kids. I hadn't been able to keep my hands off her and things got so heated in the dream that I woke up with a raging hard on.

Since I had many dreams about Sookie and me in that fashion over the years, I should have been able to shrug it off. But the difference between last night's dream and the dreams of the past was that it wasn't the Sookie I remembered, but Sookie as she is now that I was with in my dreams. For some reason, it was easier to shrug off wet dreams about Sookie when it was the young girl I fell in love with or the one I had been with five years ago, good memories of her. Not the Sookie that betrayed me. My brain was running circles on me and confusing the hell out of me. Fucking subconscious.

Quinn reached over and jostled me, knocking me out of my inner angst fest. I pushed my hat back and looked around. We were cruising into Bon Temps, which explained why he bothered me. I gave him directions out to the old homestead. As he drove, I took the time to actually look at Bon Temps as it passed by. Not much had changed really. A couple new stores and a new diner. The drive to the house took us past Merlotte's which was starting to hop. After 5 on Friday, time to get to drinking.

We took a different turn off rather than going straight, which would have taken us straight to Sookie's. When we were in town last weekend, I made it a point not to go to my old home. Too many memories. Now I stared at the house as Quinn parked in front of it. It was in good shape, no doubt because my father insisted on general maintenance and upkeep, despite the fact that no one lived here. If I stared long enough, I could shadows of myself and my sister Janice as children, running wild in the front yard. Oh, happy times.

It took about thirty minutes to get the truck unloaded and to get showered and changed. Short flight or not, neither Quinn or myself were easy fliers and we sweated enough that we needed the showers. Since it was supposed to be a casual dinner, we both dressed in jeans and t-shirts. I grabbed the small guitar case I left next to the front door and we were off. Maybe it was because I knew Sookie wasn't going to be there, but I felt very relaxed as I drove down Hummingbird Lane towards the Stackhouse house. Or maybe it was the fact that I was going to see Jason again. We had been pretty good friends but when I left and cut all contact with Sookie, I cut all contact with him too.

I didn't see any cars in the front of the house, so I drove around back and parked next to a black truck with pink and aqua swirls. I saw Quinn glancing at it out the corner of his eye and laughed. "Jason Stackhouse's truck. No he's not gay."

Quinn gave me the stink eye. "I wasn't going to ask that."

"Sure you weren't," I teased cheerfully as I got out.

Quinn opened his mouth to say something but the backdoor opened. Jason walked out and hooked his fingers through his belt loops as he studied me. I studied him in return. The only difference between him and Sookie was that he was taller and stockier. They had the same blue eyes and blonde hair. He was more tanned, which told me that he was still working on the Renard Parish Road Crew and spent a lot of time in the sun.

Jason finally grinned. "Well hell, it's about time you return to old stomping grounds, Mr. I'm A Megastar And Can't Be Bothered To Return Home Once In Awhile."

"Nice to see you too, asshole," I greeted easily as Jason came down the steps and caught me in a man hung, one arm over the shoulders. "Jason, this is John Quinn, a member of my band. Quinn, this is Jason."

"Member of your band? Hell, Alcide, I am the band," Quinn stated with a smirk as he and Jason shook hands.

"You just like to think you are," I shot back as Jason started to laugh.

"I'm glad you decided to come on out, despite Sookie not being here," Jason said, his blue eyes on mine, waiting to see how I reacted to Sookie's name.

I just shrugged. "Well, I had to do something tonight."

"You know," Jason started in a low voice, "I know you are pissed at her, but go easy, will ya? It's tearing her up."

So Jason knew that Justin was mine. I felt a quick flare of anger. "You could have called and told me."

"Oh hell no. I threatened once, and only once," Jason said quickly as his face paled a little.

Quinn noticed and asked what I was thinking, "Why didn't you?"

"Because when I threatened to call and let you know, Sookie told me that she'd show me how she castrated animals, up close and personal," Jason said with a wince. Quinn and I winced along with him and Quinn even covered his balls with his hand. Then he added, "I've been badgering her since she told me the truth to tell you, I swear it. But you know how she gets."

"Yeah, I know," I muttered. I couldn't be mad at him. Yeah he could have told me, but it hadn't been his place to. It had been Sookie's, and she's the one who dropped the ball on that. Since Jason was looking at me like he was waiting for me to explode, I said, "Don't worry about it, Jase. Not your fault. So, I hear you are married?"

Jason's face went from friendly and welcoming to lock down. "Yes."

That was all he said. I let it go. I had enough issues of my own without taking on any of his. Besides, in a small town like Bon Temps I'd hear about Jason and his marriage eventually. It was all a matter of knowing who to talk to.

"So," Quinn drawled in the silence that followed, "what's for dinner?"

Jason gave him an easy grin. "Burgers and the fixings."

"Sounds great."

I looked around and noticed a big stainless steel grill had been set up a few feet from the porch and it was already smoking. The backdoor opened and slammed shut. Justin came running out and hurled himself at Jason. "Unca Jay! You promised to play catch!"

Jason caught him easily and lifted him up, settling the five year old on his hip like it was the most natural thing in the world. It occurred to me that Tray and Jason were the closest to a father that Justin knew. Knowing that did not help the surge of jealously I felt watching Jason and Justin converse easily. Quinn somehow knew I was in the process of depressing myself because he nudged me in the side and arched a brow.

I glared at him quickly then turned my attention to Jason and Justin. It was easy to tell that they were family. Justin was like a scaled down version of Jason. I swear, the Stackhouses were like clones. Did it upset me that my son looked more like his uncle than me? A little, but it's not like I could argue with genetics.

I gave Justin a warm smile. "Happy birthday, Justin."

"Thank you," he said quietly and then hid his head in Jason's shoulder.

Jason gave me an apologetic look and set Justin down with a pat on his rear. "Why don't you go get the football."

Quinn gave me a disgusted look and knelt so he was eye level with Justin. "You know, if you don't mind, I'd love to play catch with you."

"Really?" Justin's tone was of disbelief, as if he couldn't believe that anyone who wasn't related to him would want to play with him.

Quinn winked. "Oh yeah. We spend so much time on the road, singing and writing songs that I don't get enough exercise."

"What, are you in a band?" Justin asked.

Quinn nodded and jerked a finger towards me. "Yeah, his band."

"Really?" Justin's eyes went wide and he looked from Quinn to me.

I nodded. "Yeah, Quinn's been with me since my first record deal. I keep him in line."

"Funny," Quinn said dryly, "I thought I kept you in line."

Justin laughed as I punched Quinn in the arm. Then he said, "Let me go get my ball and we can all play catch."

Justin ran off and Quinn looked at me. "You are welcome."

"Bite me," I muttered. I could have done what Quinn did, asked to play with Justin, but I just froze. What the hell do I know about children and what they like? Let alone my child. I had no idea how to interact with Justin. Not yet.

Jason clapped me on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Alcide, you'll get the hang of it. Just be his friend."

"Easier said than done," I grumbled as Justin came running back out with a football tucked under his arm.

Jason ruffled the boy's hair when he skidded to a stop in front of us. "Justin, you play nice with these two and don't beat them too much. I'm going to go get the burgers and get them on the grill."

"You'll watch, right?" Justin asked carefully.

Jason laughed. "Yes, I'll watch."

"Okay. Let's go!" Justin ran to the open area past the vehicles and waited for Quinn and me to catch up. We played for about thirty minutes while Jason and Tray manned the grill. It was fun, the most fun I'd had in a while. Justin was very exuberant when it came to throwing and catching. Quinn got on his good side real quick by doing all these funny wind ups and dances before he threw the ball.

Justin and I were still feeling each other out. It's almost as if he knew there was something different, something more about me, from the way he'd watch me. I will admit that those long steady looks of his made me nervous. No five year old should be able to pull off something so adult. It just wasn't right.

But he finally relaxed and started to enjoy my company when I talked him into climbing up on my shoulders and chasing Quinn around the backyard with a water gun that we came across. Or rather, a monster SuperSoaker that Jason provided. It was one of Justin's birthday presents. One, Jason informed me, that would be kept at his house because Sookie did not approve. Apparently Justin had a habit of filling it up and waking everyone in the house by shooting water at them. I loved the kid even more after hearing that.

We ate outside at the picnic table. Dinner was fun, full of a lot teasing and jokes. Justin liked to throw out those jokes you find on Laffy Taffy wrappers, you know the ones that make you smack your head and groan if you are an adult. I got to know Amelia and Tray better and discovered that Tray started dating Amelia, who had been Sookie's best friend since their freshman year in college, when Sookie discovered she was pregnant. Knowing how close the two women were, he packed up and sold the garage he owned and moved to Bon Temps with them. It was easy to tell that Amelia and Tray were very much in love from the way they acted together.

It made me a little sad because seeing them together reminded me of how it had been with Sookie when we first started dating. What they had is what Sookie and I could have had if I hadn't run off to Nashville. And seeing the way Justin would turn to Tray to ask a question or to make some wise ass remark made me wish that it was me instead of Tray he was turning to.

Justin was adamant that we not have cake until Sookie got back. When Amelia told him that might not be until much later, Justin tartly informed her that they could have cake for breakfast then. So instead of dessert, we went back outside and caught fireflies in old mason jars. Well, Justin and I caught fireflies while Amelia, Tray, and Quinn sat on the porch with cups of coffee.

Once he had enough fireflies, Justin ran up to the porch and started tugging on Amelia's hand. "Can we open presents now please?"

"Oh I don't know," teased Amelia, "Maybe those should wait until Sookie gets here too, like the cake."

Justin crawled into her lap and framed her face with his hands. "Aunt Ames! Puh-LEAZE may I open my presents from you, Unca Tray, Unca Jay, and Aunt Crystal?"

I could tell from the way Amelia's eyes were twinkling that he was going to get to open his presents, at least those from his aunts and uncles and figured it wouldn't hurt to add my two cents worth. "I actually have a present for you too."

Justin twisted his head to look at me, delighted glee and disbelief on his face. "You do?"

I nodded gravely. "What, you didn't think I'd come to a birthday party and not bring presents, did you?"

"That's just bad manners," Quinn added. "I even brought one."

That was news to me. I looked over at my friend and he was giving me a smug look. "I didn't realize you knew how to shop for a kid."

"Well, if you yanked your head out of your rear, you'd realize that I do almost all the shopping between the two of us. Who bought new curtains for the tour bus? Who found a new pair of jeans for you that night you got wasted at the after party for the CMT awards and ripped yours trying to show the 'ladies' how it was done on the dance floor?"

He opened his mouth to say more, and I cut him off, "Yeah, I forget how good of a 1950s wife you make, Quinn, have I thanked you for that lately?"

"No."

I grinned at him. "Remind me to pick you out some nice pearl earrings next time I go shopping."

Amelia, Tray, and Jason started to laugh. Crystal looked a little disgusted by our behavior. And Justin, well...Justin was just confused. As he should be. He was just five.

Quinn smirked at me. "I'll be sure to write that down on the shopping list."

"You do that." I turned to Justin and Amelia. "So, presents?"

"YAY!" Justin cried and jumped off Amelia's lap. He tugged on her arm and almost dragged her into the house when she didn't move fast enough. Quinn and I walked around back to the truck to get our presents. I don't even remember seeing him put his wrapped gift in the truck, but he pulled one out all the same. I just stared at it. "Seriously man, when did you get that?"

"This morning when you were at your meetings. I ran out and picked up something I figured a five year old boy would like."

"Does it make a lot of noise?"

"Hell yeah."

"Sookie will kill you."

"You first," he shot back and I had to agree. Then again, maybe not. My gift didn't make nearly as much noise as a drum set would.

I pulled the guitar case out and the two of us walked into the house. Since I didn't wrap my gift and it was fairly obvious what it was, I left it outside the living room as we walked in. Quinn went over to Justin with much pomp and circumstance and handed the kid his gift.

Justin gave Amelia a quick look and when she nodded that it was okay he ripped into it. He let out a war whoop when he revealed the box. It was a nifty looking remote control truck. Monster truck that according to the box, made lots of realistic monster truck sounds. From the way Justin was carrying on, it was the perfect gift.

He got a children digital camera from Amelia and Tray. Jason and Crystal, though I suspect it was more Jason than Crystal, gave him a new bike. It wasn't just a bike, it was a bike that looked like it was a motorcycle. Much cooler than the old bike I had growing up. Children get all the neatest toys in this day and age.

When Justin was done ooing and awing over the bike, he turned to me and noticed the lack of gift in my hands. Before disappointment could settle in his face, I said, "My gift isn't exactly something I could wrap."

I heard Quinn mutter to Jason, "Rather he didn't want to wrap it. Alc is all thumbs when it comes to wrapping presents. I do it for him."

Jason laughed. "So you really are his wife."

I snorted and hid my own laugh by turning and picking up the guitar case. Justin looked at it in confusion when I offered it to him. A little worried that he wouldn't like it, I said quickly, "You seemed interested in music the last time I was here so I thought that it would be a nice gift."

He reached out and took the case and said, "I don't know how to play."

I settled on the floor next to him as he opened the lid to reveal a small child size acoustic guitar. He ran his fingers over the smooth wood of the body, a look of wonder on his face. Just seeing the look on his face as he dragged a finger over the strings made every penny that I spent worth it.

"I figured that. I could teach you," I offered, ignoring the small gasp from Amelia.

Justin looked at me. "Like your granddaddy taught you?"

He remembered. "Yeah, exactly like that."

"I'd like that. Thank you, Alcide. It's a great gift." Justin carefully took the guitar out of the case. "Can you show me some now?"

"Sure. Uh-" I looked around and avoided meeting anyone's eyes. I could feel tears stinging my eyes and I made a show of going over to the couch to give myself some time to recover. Words could not describe how I felt at this moment. Not only did Justin like my gift, he wanted me to teach him how to play. I had been half afraid that he would hate it and refuse to keep it. That was not the case and never would be from the way he acted.

I patted the spot on the couch next to me. "Hop up and I'll show you some basic chords."

Justin sat on the couch next to me and the next hour was spent showing him where to place his fingers and what strings to strum. He was a fast learner and seemed to absorb everything I told him. By the time the hour was up, he was playing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star fairly well.

When the lesson was finished, Justin was grinning. "I wanna learn more."

"Not today, buddy," Amelia said before I could agree to teach him another song. "It's bedtime."

Instantly the smile on his face was transformed into a pout. "But I wanna stay up for Mommy."

"Honey, it's already 9 o'clock and past your bedtime. She might not be home for another couple hours," Amelia said gently.

"I don't care, I wanna stay up and wait for her to come home," Justin said stubbornly. The tilt of his head and the gleam of his eye spoke of Stackhouse Stubbornness. I could only imagine how stubborn Sookie and my child could be, giving both of our stubborn natures. To diffuse any fights, I said, "I could play some."

Amelia looked doubtful until Quinn leaned over and whispered something. Bless than man. He knew that I wouldn't play anything fast, just slow soothing songs. Songs that were guaranteed to put Justin to sleep. Amelia exchanged a look with Tray and sighed. "Alright, I guess."

Jason stood up and yawned. "Well you guys might stay up, but Crystal and I are going to head out."

"Finally," Crystal muttered and was up and out of the room like she was shot out of a cannon.

Jason winced and gave us all apologetic looks before leaning down to give Justin a hug. Justin barely noticed because he was wrapped up in his new guitar. Jason shook Quinn's hand and gave me another man hug. Tray got the same hug and Amelia got a full on hug. "Tell Sookie that I'm sorry I missed her and we'll see her at tomorrow's party."

Justin looked around the room and back at me. "What are you going to play? I don't see a guitar for you."

I scratched my chin and pretended to think. "Well, if it's alright with you, I can play on yours."

Justin giggled. "But it's small and you have big hands."

Quinn did his best to smother a snort but I still heard it. I jerked at a finger towards him and told Justin, "He doesn't think I can do it. But I bet I can."

Justin seemed doubtful but he still handed me the guitar. Christ, it felt so tiny in my hands. I hoped I could play it because I had no desire to look stupid. I adjusted it on my lap and settled my fingers across the strings. Everyone stared at me as I played a quick riff, just to get a feel for it. I'd need to be creative with some of the fingerings, but I could manage it. Thank God.

Justin settled in next to me, his small body a comforting warmth as I started to play some of my favorite slow songs. I stuck to country music and played some Tim McGraw, Brad Paisley, and Garth Brooks. It was around the time that I played The Dance I felt Justin lean heavily against me. Never stopping, I looked down to see that his eyes had drifted shut and he was breathing evenly.

Amelia moved to pick him up and I just shook my head at her and kept playing. After a while, Tray, Amelia, and Quinn got up and went into the kitchen. I only noticed because Amelia dimmed the lights on her way out. I don't know how long I sat there, playing whatever came to mind, but I didn't want to stop.

When my fingers got tired, I slowly shifted around so that Justin was laid out across my body. I leaned my head back against the chair and just listened to his steady breathing. At one point he made a whimpering noise and reached for the guitar. The minute his small fingers wrapped around the neck, he settled back down into a peaceful sleep.

It was such a precious moment. I know I should have gone and put Justin to bed, but I didn't want to give this up. I had missed five years of his life, five years of holding him and singing him to sleep that I wanted to just freeze time so we were forever stuck in this moment. I know he didn't know I was his father, but _I_ knew. When he slept, I could pretend that I had the picture perfect world.

My eyes grew heavier and I closed them, drifting off to sleep. I wasn't even aware of falling asleep so it was a shock when I heard a small gasp. I blinked once to clear my head, and when I opened my eyes, Sookie was staring at us. Her face and clothes were streaked with soot and I could smell the faint scent of smoke, and still she was the most beautiful woman in the world in my eyes.

I couldn't read the expression on her face, but her eyes were wide and starting to glitter with what looked like tears. I never once thought of how it would affect her to walk in and see the two of us like this. I just stared at her, mentally willing her to say something that would break the silence. Instead she just turned away and walked off without saying anything.

Cursing softly, I shifted and picked up Justin. Amelia appeared and just pointed to his room. I carried him and the guitar to his room and laid him gently on the bed. I didn't bother to take his clothes off though I did remove his shoes. Since it was so hot, I didn't cover him up. I flicked on the nightlight in the corner and went to Sookie's room.

She was nowhere to be found, and the bathroom door was closed. I walked over to it and rested on hand on it, as if I could touch her through the wood. I could hear the soft sounds of stifled crying and felt like an evil bastard. Yes, she hurt me and I was the one who felt like the dick. Fuck.

I had to talk to her, had to explain. I knocked on the door and she said hoarsely, "What?"

"Sookie," I said, and sighed. "We need to talk."

Her voice came back harsh. "After my shower. I'm covered in soot and I smell like smoke. Let me get cleaned up."

She was going to try and avoid me. I just knew it. The Sookie I knew never tried to avoid things before. She had preferred to meet stuff head on, so this new Sookie confused me. I needed a few moments before we talked anyway, so I agreed, "Alright."

I stood next to the bathroom door until I heard the water being turned on. Then I looked around for a place to sit. There was a wicker chair in the corner next to the window and the bed. My only two options. I hated sitting on wicker so I chose the bed, deliberately stretching out so I filled the whole thing. As I listened to the water running, I grabbed a magazine about animals off the side table and flipped through it.

When the water shut off, I spared one glance towards the door and went back to reading an article about horses. Thirty minutes to shower. Man she really must have been hoping that I'd give up. Wasn't she in for a surprise?

Turns out, I was the one surprised when the bathroom door opened to reveal Sookie standing there in only a bath towel. Her hair was wrapped in one too but I didn't really pay attention to that. Instead my attention was caught by the small droplets of water that clung to her bare shoulders before rolling down over her chest and into her cleavage. She looked dewy and fresh standing there, despite the annoyed look on her face. I didn't stop myself from raking my eyes over her body, taking in how the towel barely skimmed her thighs, leaving her legs bare.

My mouth was dry when I finally looked back up at her and met her cool stare. There was something about the way she looked that made me want to say screw everything and bring her to bed. The urge to touch her was so strong that I had to curl my hands into fists and order myself not to move. I had to fight this. We had to settle our issues and problems before we moved on to whatever. But I did know one thing. Sookie was looking at me, annoyed, but also aroused. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were bright with lust. It was going to be an interesting talk.

**Author's Notes: Thus concludes the dinner party. I love writing Justin and Quinn so damn much. Easiest characters to write, EVER! Next chapter will be the TALK! Then things will get interesting as Alcide and Quinn settle into life in small town Bon Temps. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!**


	14. Choices

**Author's Notes: So I got this job that is basically an at home job, only during working hours I can't be on the internet. So I broke out my notebook and wrote this chapter. I got it typed up and mailed it to scribeninja who did some uber fast beta'ing on it. And now I'm posting it. Consider this my apology for even thinking that I could take a break from this fic. I love it too much. I will try to post at least once a week, but I'm not promising anything. STK gets prioty. But enough of that, I present THE TALK chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SVM or the characters. I just like to torture them.**

**It's Your Song**

**Chapter Fourteen**

_Living and dying with the choices I made._

_~Choices by George Jones_

**SPOV**

With my hands on my hips, I glared at the man sprawled on my bed. At least, I tried to glare. It was hard to maintain the angry look when Alcide looked completely at home on top of my blankets. He looked so sexy and relaxed that my libido went into overdrive. My body screamed at me to drop the towel and jump into bed with him. I started mentally reciting the skeletal system of a cat to keep myself in control.

"Funny," I said from the bathroom doorway with my head cocked to the side, "I don't remember inviting you to my bed."

Alcide actually had the nerve to grin at me. "I figured it was the only way I could get you to talk to me."

"We never talked much in bed so that logic is wasted," I replied as dryly as I could.

"No, we preferred to do other things with our mouths as I remember now."

Memories of what he could do with that mouth flared in my mind and heat raced through me. Carefully avoiding his gaze, I turned towards the closet. "Don't go there."

"Sorry," he said quickly, and he sounded like he really meant it.

I stared blankly into the closet, clutching my towel close. I was feeling very vulnerable at the moment. "I'm not going to play games with you, Alcide."

"I'm not here to play games, Sookie. Honest. I'm sorry."

Why was I even looking in the closet? My pajamas weren't in there. I moved to my dresser and pulled out a pair of underwear and my summer sleepwear, shorts and a tank top. Then I finally turned and stared at Alcide. "Fine. You're sorry. I'm sorry. We done here? I'd like to get dressed and get some food."

"No, we aren't done, but feel free to get dressed. We can talk while you eat."

I narrowed my eyes. "Thank you so much for your permission to get dressed... in _my_ room. Get out."

His eyes met mine. "I don't think so."

I'm pretty sure if it was possible, I'd have been shooting daggers out my eyes at him. "You might want to rethink that thought."

"I'm not leaving your side until we talk."

I cocked my head to the side and tapped my foot impatiently. "I don't remember you being this intrusive and pushy."

"I don't remember you ever being scared to talk to someone," he shot back as he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. "The Sookie I knew never ran."

"Wanting some privacy in my own bedroom isn't running."

"When you are going to use it as an excuse not to talk to me it is running."

I glared at him. Alcide glared back. I could have gone into the bathroom to get dressed, bBt this was my room and I'd be damned if I let him run me out of it. Not looking away from his face, I let my towel drop to the floor. Alcide's eyes went wide as he took in my naked body, and there were glimmers of arousal in his eyes as he watched me pull on my panties, tank, and shorts. I could feel his eyes raking over my body, and I saw the approval there. Good, so he liked my body, that was just great.

Only when I was dressed did I go back into the bathroom to brush out my wet hair. He didn't follow. Thank God. From where he was sitting, he couldn't see the way my hand shook as I dragged the brush through my hair. The way those green eyes had gone hot with lust had almost made me pant with my own . I may have looked calm and indifferent, but I had been battling my own lust, especially when I saw the way his erection had strained against the denim he wore.

Well that was a train of thought I didn't need to follow. If we were going to have this talk, I shouldn't be thinking about his dick. I was distracted enough. Hell, I didn't even know why we had to talk. I thought we had covered it all the last time he had been here. He was mad and upset, and wasn't sure he would forgive me. I was sorry, and regretted what I did. We agreed that he could see Justin, and once the time was right we'd both tell Justin the truth about his parentage. What more needed to be discussed? The only way to find out would be to go back out there.

So I did, and Alcide was still on the bed, waiting for me. Guess he was serious about not leaving my side. I sighed and gestured to the door. "We'll talk in the kitchen."

He followed me out without a word. Seeing me naked must have robbed his ability to speak. I stopped outside of Justin's room. "I just want to check on him real quick."

Alcide leaned against the door frame as I went in. In the time that Alcide had left him in bed, Justin had moved around so that he was sprawled across the entire mattress, blankets tangled around him. With a mother's skill, I untangled him and pulled his jeans off. Smiling, I pulled the light sheet up over his legs and then moved the guitar to the foot of the bed. I gave him a soft kiss on the forehead before turning to leave. Alcide was watching me with an unreadable expression. His eyes flicked to Justin, making me think of how sweet the two of them had looked sleeping together on the couch and I had to swallow hard because of the lump that formed in my throat.

"You make it look so easy," he commented quietly as I walked past.

I shrugged as I walked down the hallway. "Practice."

The kitchen was empty as we walked into it. Alcide picked up a note that had been laying on the table with a set of keys. To his truck, I assumed. He read it and looked at me. "Amelia and Tray took Quinn back to our place."

So he was already calling the old house his place. That said a lot, most importantly that he planned on staying for an extended amount of time.

It was just going to be us and Justin in the house. The perfect family moment, if we were a family. Knowing Ames, she'd talk Tray into going and staying at the apartment at the garage to give us all the privacy we needed. While I wished for their support, I supposed it was best that they were gone. I couldn't use them as crutches forever.

Alcide put the note down as I opened the fridge to get out the leftovers. When I saw the cake that took up most of the bottom shelf, I leaned back in surprise. "What's with the cake? It hasn't been touched."

"Justin decided that he didn't want to have cake without you," Alcide answered from behind me. Startled by how close he was, I turned and rammed right into his chest. I squeaked as his arms came up to steady me. The skin on skin contact where his fingers touched my arm was like a brand. I felt it all the way down to my toes.

Oh boy. This was too much contact. Being this close to Alcide was sending every reasonable thought I had out the window. From the half pleased, half pained look on his face, Alcide was feeling the same as me. Oh boy.

We jumped away from each other. Alcide rammed his side into the counter in his attempt to put distance between us and I banged back into open fridge door. We yelped and cursed at the same time.

"Shit!"

"Damn!"

There was a pause and then we both started to laugh. It was just so awkward that it was hilarious. I motioned for him to keep it down so we wouldn't wake up Justin with our laughter. By the time I stopped laughing, I was clinging to the fridge to stay upright. My sides ached and I sucked in a breath and said, "This is just stupid. What are we going to do? We can't make this work if we are going to be so jumpy around each other."

"I know," Alcide replied as he sat down at the table.

"So," I began as I made myself a burger, "what do you want to talk about."

Alcide stared at me like I was a buffle brained idiot. "What do you think we need to talk about?"

I shrugged and rolled my eyes. "The greenhouse affect? Your chances of being Entertainer of the Year? I don't know. I thought we took care of everything before you left."

"You know we haven't."

I pointed at him with the knife I used to spread the mustard on my burger. "Yes we have. You know the truth about Justin. You want to, and will, spend time with him. You'll have parental rights. The end."

"And us?" he asked with an arched brow.

I squashed down the hope that he had forgiven me. It was foolish to think that he had so soon. I laid down the knife and said evenly, "You made it quite clear that there wasn't an 'us' anymore, Alcide."

"Is that what you want, Sookie?"

"What I want is for my son, our son, to be happy. That's the only thing that matters to me." I picked up the burger and put it back down without taking a bite. "It won't do us or Justin any good to bring all this up again. You can't forgive me and I can't forgive myself for what I did." I wasn't hungry anymore and now I was feeling more tired than before. "Let's just agree to be friends and be done with it."

Alcide had remained quiet the entire time I spoke. Even when I put the untouched burger in the fridge he didn't say anything. I guess he couldn't disagree with anything I said and agreeing would just be redundant since I knew he agreed. I grabbed a bottle of water and picked at the label as I waited for him to say something, anything.

"It isn't that I can't forgive you, Sookie," Alcide said as he stared at the table. "I don't know if I should."

"You shouldn't," I replied softly. "I took something precious from you, something that can't be given back no matter what I do. I thought about it a lot over the week and I don't deserve forgiveness."

That caught him off guard, and he looked at me in confusion. "Shouldn't you be trying to convince me that you should be forgiven?"

I sighed, and felt a lot older than my twenty-eight years. "I can't make you do anything. You are an adult and capable of making your own decisions. Whatever you decide, you have to do it on your own."

Alcide leaned back in his chair. "This isn't exactly what I expected to happen here."

He sounded disappointed and surprised. I rolled my eyes. "Did you expect me to throw myself at your feet, confess that I still love you, that you should forgive me instantly because of that, and beg you to take me back?"

From the look on his face, it was exactly what he had been expecting. Lucky for him he didn't say yes or nod to confirm it, but his face still said it all. I laughed, I couldn't help it, and it wasn't a friendly laugh. "You were the one who wanted to talk. Shouldn't you be the one to beg for forgiveness?"

He crossed his arms over his chest and demanded, "For what? I didn't do anything wrong."

"Oh really?" I drawled tightly. "Did it ever occur to you once, just once, that you could call and see how I was doing? To see how I was coping without Gran?" I paused and looked down at the water bottle in my hand. "Obviously you felt something towards me when Gran died since you came back to be with me that night. Given that, I don't understand why you never called."

"You left without saying goodbye. You left a note saying that you couldn't do this again," Alcide snapped.

I raised my head to look at him. "I was emotionally distraught. My grandmother had just died and you came waltzing back into my life after five years. I still loved you back then and I couldn't bear to watch you walk out of my life again, Alcide. So yes, I walked first to protect myself."

Tears stung my eyes as I vented. Alcide was looking at me with a mixture of regret, sorrow, and distress. I couldn't stand seeing him look at me like that so I turned away. He spoke softly after several long moments and the words were like a knife through my heart. "I wasn't going to walk again, Sookie."

I looked up slowly, not trusting what I had just heard. "What?"

He cleared his throat and whispered, "I wasn't going to walk. That night, when you slept in my arms, I decided that I was going to stay. I was going to tell you in the morning, but when I woke up you were gone."

I couldn't breathe by the time he finished. My chest felt like it was made out of stone. I struggled to pull air into my lungs as I stared at him. His admission hung between us like a big elephant. I couldn't believe what he had told me and he looked like he couldn't believe he admitted it. Neither one of us said anything, we just looked at each other.

Alcide wouldn't have walked out of my life back then. He had wanted to stay with me. I had walked away from him because I assumed he would go back to Nashville. I had been so afraid of being hurt again when I already felt like my world was shattering. If I had stayed, everything would have played out so differently.

"You-," I shook my head to clear my thoughts, "You were going to stay?"

He nodded slowly. "Yes. I loved you, and the thought of leaving you again killed me."

I leaned back against the counter and fought back tears. "You never called or came after me."

"You made your choice. I thought that you didn't want me, and that's why you left. I was an idiot. I should have gone after you. I regretted that I didn't from the moment I got back to Nashville. Why do you think I wrote that song, Sookie?"

That admission was all it took to lose the fight against the tears. They rolled down my cheeks hot and fast. My shoulders shook as I buried my head in my hands. I heard the scratch of the chair leg against the floor and then Alcide was wrapping his arms around me. He pulled me against his firm body as I shook my head. I cried into his chest, weeping for the pain and loss we caused each other.

His voice was a deep rumble in my ear. "Don't cry Sookie, we both made mistakes."

My eyes hurt and my throat burned when I pulled back. Alcide was watching me carefully, unsure of what I would do next in my emotional breakdown. His arms and hands were a comforting warmth around me. His head was tilted down towards me, his lips so close to mine. All I had to do was lean up and we'd be kissing. It would be so easy to kiss him and pull him back to my room and go from there. He wanted me, I could see it in his eyes and feel it in his touch. I knew without a doubt if I made that move he wouldn't protest or stop me.

Because I wanted it so much that I could almost feel his hands skimming down my naked body I pulled away and said, "We've made enough mistakes. Let's not add another to that list."

"How do you know it would be a mistake?" he asked in a husky tone.

I met his eyes and saw my own lust reflected in his eyes. "Because I know you haven't forgiven me and I won't have you blaming me in the morning."

"Sookie-," he started.

I shook my head and cut him off. "No. Neither one of us is ready. Right now, all that is open to us is a friendship."

Alcide sighed and I knew I had won. He took a step back and then another, putting more distance between us. With each step away from me, the tension in the air eased. When he was back by the table, I let out a sigh of relief. If he hadn't backed off when he did, I would have thrown myself into his arms and the hell with the consequences. Now I could think clearly and easily since we weren't pressed together.

My voice was shaky but I managed to talk. "Let's just end the night now. You go on home, and I'm going to go to bed. I'm tired."

What I really wanted to do was curl up on my bed so I could cry, not sleep. I wish he had never told me that he wanted to stay. Knowing that just made everything worse.

Alcide studied my face for a long moment, and I was careful to keep expression blank. Finally he said, "Friends... for now."

He stood up as I stared at him in confusion, trying to figure out what he had meant. He grabbed the keys to his truck and went to the back door. He stopped in the doorway and looked over his shoulder at me. "Sookie." When I looked at him, he gave me a slow smile full of promises and heat. "I've already decided that when the time is right, I can forgive you. Then all bets are off on this _friendship_."

He left, closing the door behind him quietly. I was still looking at the door in shock over his words before I realized he was gone. I heard a truck rev up and then drive off, and.I was still staring at the door like an idiot. Did he mean what I thought he meant? I thoughtino. It still did nothing to ease the emotional pain I felt, but it did make me feel a little bit better.

I checked on Justin one last time before going into my room and getting into bed. I stared up at the ceiling, crying quietly, until exhaustion finally dragged me under. I still didn't know what I was going to do about Alcide.

**Author's Notes: This chapter is the shortest chapter so far in IYS. I'm amazed I wrote something that wasn't 5k+ words. Anyway, there you go. It's all out on the table. The next few chapters are going to be interesting as hell. Thanks for reading.**


	15. My Wish

**Author's Note: I'll keep this short. Yes I'm back. Brand new chapter. Thanks to scribeninja for all the poking and prodding and the beta work. She is my brainmate for reals.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SVM or it's characters. Man I've missed typing that.**

**It's Your Song**

**Chapter Fifteen**

_My wish for you is that this life comes with all you wanted it too. _

~My Wish by Rascal Flatts

**APOV**

The drive from the Stackhouse farmhouse to my old family home wasn't long, but I drove slow so I could think about what had happened in the kitchen with Sookie. I had completely stunned her with a confession I had never intended on making. I had no intention of letting her know that I had planned on staying five years ago. Yet, for some unfathomable reason, the words had spilled out my mouth. It was like I couldn't control them.

Instead of making things better, and why I thought it would make it better, I had made things worse. I had seen the guilt and pain on her face. Nothing would take that away. Had I done it make her feel worse? Was I really capable of being that petty? I thought about it some. No, it had not been said to make her hurt.

I pulled into the drive and drove up to the back. What I assumed was Tray's truck was still parked there and lights were on in the kitchen. I saw a curtain twitch and knew it was Quinn checking on me. I parked next to the truck and turned off the lights and just sat there. I had a lot to think about.

I don't think I'd ever be able to erase the look on Sookie's face when I told her the truth from my mind. Even though I hadn't wanted to hurt her, I still did. I also realized that she was right. I had made some mistakes too, though not as big as hers. I could have and should have called.

I didn't call because I didn't want to know how happy she was without me. I had been telling the truth when I said I didn't think she wanted me. I didn't want know anything about her because I couldn't bear knowing she moved on when I didn't. Only, now I knew that she never really moved on and never could. Justin prevented that. I guess that made me a lucky man because I did want her back. It just wasn't the time for all that. I had to come to terms with what she had done and learn to trust her again. Only after that could I pursue her.

With a groan, I climbed out of the truck, slammed the door and headed up the back steps. When I stepped into the mudroom, I heard the muted voices of Tray, Amelia, and Quinn. The sounds grew quieter as I made noise taking off my boots. I figured they were talking about me and I wanted to give them plenty of time to stop. Nothing more embarrassing than walking in on people who were talking about you. When I entered the kitchen, they all looked at me with curious expressions. No doubt they wanted to know what happened between me and Sookie. I wasn't sure I wanted to tell them.

I had made her cry, something I'm sure Amelia and Tray, being close friends, wouldn't like. Quinn, well he'd either understand or call me an idiot. You never could tell what Quinn would or wouldn't do.

I walked to the fridge, ignoring their looks, and took out a beer. The silence was broken by the sound of the beer top being twisted open. No one said anything as I tipped back the bottle and took a long pull. With the crappy mood I was in, the beer tasted more bitter than good on my tongue. I swallowed anyway.

It was Quinn that broke the silence. "So how did it go?"

I shrugged. "It went."

"That's not helpful at all," muttered Amelia.

"I know," I said a bit smugly.

Quinn glared at me. "Don't be an ass. It doesn't suit you."

"That's not what you said a month ago," I reminded him, referring to the time I suggested that he ask out the drummer in the band. The drummer, who may or may not be gay, was attractive, I guess, and I had caught Quinn making goo-goo eyes at him. Quinn gave me his best Death Glare, which wasn't very frightening at all. Still, I said, "We talked, settled some things. Learned a few truths."

I took another swig of my beer as Amelia studied me with narrowed eyes. I don't know what she saw, because I thought I was pulling off the blank face rather well. But she saw something that made her frown. She looked at the guys then back to me.

"Tray, Quinn, could you give me some time alone with Alcide?" She phrased it as a question, but her tone said it was a demand, and one not to be ignored.

I almost said no, that I was going to go to bed. I had learned a few things about Amelia. She was a fan of my music, but she didn't just see my fame when she looked at me. In fact, she was capable of ignoring how famous I was in the country music world. Which was no easy feat, not even my parents are able to do that. Amelia is also very loyal to Sookie. And tenacious.

I doubt she wanted to get me alone to talk about the weather or my chances of winning at the next big award ceremony. No, she wanted to get me alone so she could find out what happened with Sookie. I could have made my escape and avoided it all. I didn't have to talk to Amelia, but for some reason I couldn't explain, I said nothing. I just stared at her as Quinn and Tray grabbed their beers and went into the living room.

"I told her something that hurt her, made her cry," I said as soon as the kitchen door shut.

Amelia looked startled, like she had been ready to pry all the details out of me with a pair of pliers. Obviously I had caught her by surprise and it took her a moment to adjust to the change of pace. Then she crossed her arms under her chest and glared at me. Unlike Quinn's glare, Amelia's was pretty darn scary. With one look I felt like I was back in the third grade and just got caught putting gum in a girl's hair. "Just what did you tell her?"

I took another sip of my beer and said, "That five years ago, I wasn't going to leave her again."

Amelia stared at me. Her mouth was hanging open...in shock? In disbelief? Or maybe it was anger, but her mouth was opened wide enough to catch flies. Her eyes darkened and I braced my self when I saw her mouth close and her lips firm into a line. Then, almost casually, she reached over and smacked me upside the head.

I jerked away from her. "What the hell?"

"What the FUCK do you think you were doing? How dare you do that to her? Hasn't she been through enough? Did you just have to compound her guilt?" Amelia didn't shout. Now she spoke slowly, calmly, dangerously.

I gaped. What the fuck? How did this get to be about what I did to Sookie? What about what she did to me? Didn't that matter? No, of course it didn't to Amelia. I forgot, she was Sookie's friend. Of course she was going to take Sookie's side.

"Excuse me? She's the one who lied and kept secrets from me. I wasn't the one who went off and had a child and neglected to inform the other parent that I was having said child," I said harshly. "As far as I'm concerned, her guilt doesn't matter."

"Do you really think that? Really?"

I refused to answer because I didn't really believe it. I could, almost, understand why Sookie did what she did. I could almost begin to comprehend the amount of guilt she'd been carrying around for five years. Almost. See, logically I could understand it. But logic didn't matter.

"Let me tell you something. Sookie has been an empty shell of herself since that night you two spent together. She was already missing something before that. She never got over you, never. Sure she dated, but she couldn't commit. Didn't want to," Amelia said as she continued to glare at me. "When she found out she was pregnant, it was as if she came back to life. Nothing else mattered to her but that baby. She made the hardest decision in her life when she decided not to tell you and she's suffered for that. I can't think of a single week that goes by when I don't hear her crying because she wants you so much."

I wish Amelia would shut up. I didn't need to hear how Sookie cried. It always destroyed me when Sookie cried. I didn't have to witness it to be shattered by it. I could see it in my mind and that was enough. "Stop."

"No. Because you know what, you have a second chance. Sookie has a second chance. And you both have a chance to create a life and family with Justin. And I'll be damned if you fuck it up because you want to be some vindictive bastard towards her. Yes, she fucked up. And she's paid for that. She's paid for it every single day since she walked away from you. Do yourself a favor, don't make it worse. Don't make it so bad that she'll never be able to forgive herself."

"I am not being vindictive."

"Oh really?" Amelia's voice chilled by a thousand degrees. "It wasn't the slightest bit vindictive to tell her you were going to stay? To make her realize that if she hadn't walked away, she wouldn't have spent the last five years hiding the truth from Justin, from you, from everyone? Maybe it isn't in Nashville, but from where I come from that's pretty damn vindictive."

I could have told her that I hadn't meant to say it. That I hadn't said it to make Sookie feel bad. But it would have been a lie. I had tried to convince myself on the way home that I hadn't been petty, but I was lying to myself then. Confronted now, by Amelia, I was forced to see the truth. Sookie had hurt me so I had tried to hurt her back. And maybe I had ended up hurting her more than she had hurt me. It wasn't the same kind of hurt, but it was hurt and some cuts strike deeper than others.

I sighed and got up for another beer. I twisted the cap off and drained half it before I felt like I could speak. "Fine, you are right. I fucked up. I meant to hurt her, just like she hurt me."

Now Amelia's face softened and she got up and wrapped her arms around me. I was surprise by the gentleness of her gesture and didn't know what to do. "I know, Alcide, you were only being human. It's instinct. Get hurt, so try and hurt back. It's a way of protecting yourself. But that isn't going to work here. You are both going to have to adjust and learn to forgive and forget."

"I can forgive, but I'm not sure I can forget."

"If you can't forget, then you and Sookie won't go anywhere. As long as you blame her and think of her the way you do now, she'll think that way of herself and you'll just have a stalemate. I'm not saying you have to just forget right away, I know that is impossible. But you will have to."

"I don't know how." It was hard admitting it, but it was the truth. At the moment I felt like I was just floating in the middle of the sea during a hurricane with no life jacket and no rescue in sight.

She smiled sadly. "I can't tell you how, no more than I can tell Sookie how to fix everything. All I can say is to go slow, don't push. Use this time to get to know your son. Use it to get to know Sookie again. Maybe you both need that."

She pulled away and patted me on the cheek. "Just know this, there are two people in this world capable of destroying Sookie. Justin is one of them. You are the other. You can hurt her, destroy her so completely that she won't ever trust a man, that she won't ever try and be happy again. If you do that to her, I'll hunt you down and do experiments on you using Sookie's castrating tools."

I paled and she laughed. "But don't worry, I have faith in you both."

"Thanks...I think." I inched away from her, not caring if it made me look like a coward.

"Tray!" Amelia shouted. Within seconds Tray and Quinn showed up. Quinn was wearing a smirk that told me he heard everything. Not. Good. Amelia linked her arm through Tray's. "We'll see you two tomorrow at Merlotte's."

"Night," Quinn said.

I nodded and watched as they walked out the back door. I heard the engine start up and the sound of a vehicle backing out. I turned to the kitchen door and Quinn was waiting for me. I held up a hand. "Don't. Not one word. We'll talk about this later. Much later. I have a headache, my balls have retreated so far up my body I think I can taste them, and I just want sleep."

"Cranky ass. Go get your beauty sleep."

"Kiss my ass."

"Maybe after you find your balls again," was Quinn's parting shot as I disappeared down the hallway and up the stairs.

I fell into bed without taking off my clothes. But instead of falling to sleep, I thought about what Amelia said. I didn't want to believe that it was possible that after all these years Sookie still cared for me. Cared for me enough that I could break her heart. Weren't we past that? How could I break her heart when she already broke mine?

When we were younger, we talked about getting married. Not right away, of course. But eventually. There had never been any doubt that we would marry each other. She was the only woman I could see myself spending the rest of my life with. Along with talk of marriage, we talked about kids. Sookie had wanted a big family. I didn't want a big family, but I did want a family. Two or three children. That was my ideal family. I had wanted children even when I was seventeen.

I knew I'd be a good father, unlike my dad who only really cared about his business. I wanted a son so I could teach him how to ride a bike, throw a ball, and all the other things fathers did with their sons. I wanted a daughter, a little girl who would have been a mirror image of Sookie. I wanted all that.

I guess now I had it, but it wasn't the same. I missed too much. Justin already knew how to ride a bike and to throw a ball. Those little things I wanted, I missed out on, and I couldn't get them back. No matter how hard Sookie had tried with her DVDs and photo albums, she couldn't give me that visceral knowledge that I had helped shape and define my son. That's what broke my heart, knowing that even if I was involved in Justin's life, I missed those all too important moments that made a person.

I rolled over and buried my face in the pillow. I couldn't keep thinking like this. I couldn't. You can't change the past. You just can't. No matter what I thought, what I felt, nothing would change what already happened. In fact, if I kept dwelling on this, kept making it all about the mistakes that were made, I wouldn't get anywhere. It would wreck everything now.

Yeah, I could forgive Sookie. I think part of me already had. I just wasn't ready to admit it. I had to see, had to know that she was suffering. Maybe it was trite and petty, maybe it was vindictive, but it was the truth. I wouldn't be human if I didn't want her to suffer just a little. Did that make me a horrible person? Truthfully, I didn't want an answer to that question.

Morning came and I rose to the sounds of Quinn singing as he made breakfast. He was singing old Hank Williams songs as he scrambled eggs and flipped sausage. I glared at him as I made my way to the coffee pot. "You woke up too cheerful."

"Beautiful day," he replied with a grin.

I grunted and poured my coffee. I drank it back, ignoring the sting as the hot liquid scalded my tongue. Quinn dished up the eggs, sausage, and biscuits as I sat at the table. I ate silently, thinking about what I had to do that day. Call the shelter and find out if the puppy survived. Go pick it up. Go to Merlotte's. Hell that thought made me grin. I love Merlotte's, always had, and it would be nice to visit one of my old stomping grounds.

I ate quickly and went to shower. After my shower I called the shelter and got an answering service that directed me to a temporary shelter that had been set up to deal with the animals until the shelter could be repaired. I called them and found out that the puppy I had picked out was one of the lucky ones. Since the little fellow had been due for pick up, he had been moved into a temporary kennel that escaped the fire. The worse the pup suffered was some smoke inhalation, but nothing too serious. I told the lady I talked to that I would be there within an hour to pick up the pup.

"Quinn, I'm heading to Monroe, you coming?" I called as I went in search of the truck keys.

Quinn looked up from his laptop. "The puppy survive?"

"Yeah," I answered.

Quinn smiled. "That's good. I was worried. Sure, I'll go."

"Hey," I said suddenly as I realized something. "I never found out when the party at Merlotte's was. Did you?"

"Did I? What, am I your secretary?" Quinn asked with a sneer.

I just looked at him and raised a brow. "No, but aren't wives supposed to keep up on that sort of thing."

"Hell, you never proposed," Quinn shot back quickly. "You just use me," he added dramatically, "never giving me what I want most."

My lips quirked. "I'd propose but think of all the men who would be disappointed if you went off the market."

"Haha right because they are just beating down my door," Quinn said with just a touch of bitterness. "Anyway, the party is at two. We've got time."

"Alright," I said as I did some mental calculation. "We'll go pick up puppy supplies and the dog, bring him back here and get ready. I'll call Sookie and give her the heads up on the gift and call Sam Merlotte to make sure it's alright to bring the pup to the bar, otherwise we'll have to leave him here. Meet you at the truck in ten minutes."

I went outside as Quinn disappeared up the stairs to his room to get changed. The first call I made was to Sookie. Even though she hinted that Justin wanted a puppy, I wanted to make sure she'd be okay with a dog before I actually got it for Justin. If it turned out she didn't want it, I'd keep the dog for myself. I liked dogs and I've been wanting on for a few years now, but my busy schedule never allowed for me to have one. I'd probably be able to manage one now.

Sookie answered after the second ring. "Hello?"

She sounded breathless and that made me smile. "Hey, it's me."

"Alcide," she said. There was wariness in her voice now. "What do you want?"

"Well that's a nice greeting," I replied.

"Sorry, things are kind of crazy around here," she paused and then raised her voice, "Justin if you run through this house one more time, I'll tan your hide!" In a more quiet voice she said, "Sorry, he's wired today."

"Big day."

"Yeah and if he keeps it up, there won't be a party." Again she pitched her voice a little louder, so I'm sure her words were for Justin.

"Well, I won't keep you long, I just wanted to check something with you,"

"Shoot."

"You mentioned Justin wanted a puppy."

There was silence and then she said in an uneven voice, "And you got him one?"

Unsure of how to take the silence and her tone, I said carefully, "I made arrangements to pick up one, but if you think it's a bad idea, I won't."

Again there was more silence and I couldn't be sure, but I thought I heard a sniffle. I had no idea what was going on, and a part of me didn't want to know what was going on. Finally Sookie said, after she took a deep breath, "Sure, it's fine. He'll love it."

"Great. I'll see you all this afternoon."

"Good bye, Alcide, and thank you," Sookie said and hung up.

I stared at my phone, puzzled. Why would she thank me? I was just getting him a gift, something he wanted. It wasn't complicated at all. Still bewildered, I called Merlotte's and got the okay from Sam to bring the dog. He even volunteered to let the pup stay in his trailer until it was time for presents. Pretty brave of him since I had no idea if the dog was house broken or not. I really hoped it was, otherwise Sookie might change her mind about having a dog.

Quinn came out when I was finishing up my call to Sam and when I told him about Sookie's reaction, he just shook his head and sighed. "Alcide, man, you have a lot to learn."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I demanded as I climbed in the truck.

"It means that Sookie was surprised and touched that you remembered what she said and went and did it. You gotta remember, she doesn't know what to expect from you anymore. It's one thing for you to say you want to be involved with Justin and a completely different thing to actually act on that desire."

"So...she's happy?" I asked to clarify.

"Yes," Quinn said with a roll of her eyes. "You scored major points."

"I'm not looking to score points," I said as I pulled out on the highway. "I just, I don't know. When I figure out what I want, I'll let you know."

"Yeah, just make sure it doesn't take fifty years to decide." Quinn said as he reclined his seat and closed his eyes.

He went to sleep, something I couldn't believe. I didn't notice it before, but the roads out here were horrible and bumpy. How he could sleep with the truck jostling was beyond me. But I was glad he was asleep because it gave me time to think on somethings.

So, basically, Sookie hadn't expected me to stick by what I said. She should have known better or maybe she just thought that all my time in Nashville and being a success had changed me. Whatever she thought, I was going to prove her wrong. I had meant every word about being involved with Justin from here on out. She'd just have to adjust. I'd have to adjust. I wanted to be a good father, but I had no idea how to do it. Guess I'd just have to learn as I went.

I didn't want to bribe Justin into liking me, and maybe he'd think the puppy was a bribe. I definitely didn't want him thinking that I was buying him gifts to make up for lost years when he found out I was his father. I just wanted to make sure he had everything he needed, and wanted to an extent. I want him to be to him what my father never was to me. A steady role model, someone he could go to with questions and concerns. A person he could trust and turn to when he needed it. A father. That's all.

**Author's Notes: I promise that Alcide will get his head out of his ass eventually. He really isn't that dense, it's just a phase he's going through. He's still all confused about the situation he's in and it makes him slow. But he'll catch up, sooner or later. **

**In other news, thank you everyone for being so patient with me. I kinda took the whole month of November off from writing. It was a nice break and I needed it. Not to mention, I moved. WOO! I got my own place and I'm so happy with it. I don't know if I can promise weekly updates like before, but I'll do my best not to wait forever before posting again. I do have a couple other projects I'm working on.**

**And one of those projects is a new contest! I'm proud to say that I am co-hosting a fantastic contest with mah brainmates MakesMyHeadSpin and Scribeninja. We are hosting a contest named Happily (N)ever After. That's right, a contest all about not getting a HEA ending! It's an angst whore's best friend I tell ya! So, if interested, please go to the contest page and check it out or follow HNA_Contest on twitter for more details. Let ze angst boner hang free!**

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~happilyneveraftercontest**


	16. Life's A Dance

**Author's Notes: Happy Holidays everyone! With much encouragement and threatening from LindsayK I finished another chapter of IYS and it is my present to you this holiday season. Thanks to Linds for being my beta and sounding board. Um, I probably won't have another chapter until after the new year. This week is going to be nuts and we are taking a trip out of town next week. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own SVM or it's characters.**

**It's Your Song**

**Chapter Sixteen**

_Life's a dance, you learn as you go. Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow._

~Life's A Dance by John Michael Montgomery

**SPOV**

I woke up feeling stiff and drained. Even though I had passed out shortly after Alcide left, I got almost no rest. I had a restless night, tossing and turning, haunted by nightmares. I've had nightmares before, mostly when Justin was an infant and off and on since then. You can't be a parent and not have nightmares. Sometimes I think it comes with the territory.

But these nightmares had nothing to do with Justin and everything to do with Alcide. I kept dreaming that he had stayed, that he had been there when I was pregnant and when Justin was born. Then, out of nowhere, he'd just disappear with no explanation or reason. One moment he was there, and the next he was gone.

I laid in bed for a long time, just staring at the ceiling and thinking. I heard soft sounds from the second floor and knew that Amelia and Tray were up. Still, I stayed in bed. I didn't want to get up. Didn't want to face the day. But I had to. I just didn't know how I'd do it. I had almost no energy.

Still, when I heard Amelia moving around in the kitchen, I forced myself to climb out of bed. I wrapped a terry cloth robe around me, ignoring the already climbing temperature that was slowly warming the house. I shuffled into the hallway and peeked into Justin's room. He had kicked off the sheet sometime during the night and was sprawled on the bed, one arm tucked under his head as he slept. Usually he was up early and full of energy, but I guess he was just plum tuckered out after last night.

I made my way to the kitchen, grunting a good morning to Amelia as I walked straight to the coffee pot. I poured myself a cupful in the Best Mother mug Justin had got me for my last birthday and laced it with some creamer and sugar. Inhaling, I sipped slowly, ignoring the heat on my tongue. I drained the cup, finally feeling awake enough to talk.

"So, how was everything last night?" I asked Amelia.

Amelia's hand hovered over the skillet she was frying eggs in and then she sighed. "Fine, just fine. Justin had a lot of fun."

I bit my lip nervously. "And Alcide?"

"Very nice and polite."

I glared at her. She knew what I wanted to know. I wanted to know how Justin interacted with Alcide and vice versa. "Ames, how did Justin get along with Alcide?"

"Like a duck to water. Oh, he took a while to warm up to him, but he didn't run screaming. I actually think he might like Quinn a little more than Alcide at the moment. Poor guy."

"Who, Alcide or Quinn?" I asked with a slight smile. I was relieved that Justin got along with Alcide. So much better than their first meeting. But, at the same time, I couldn't ignore the little pang I felt. It was irrational and illogical, but I had had Justin to myself for so long that I wasn't one hundred percent sure I could share him. He was my baby.

Amelia giggled and transferred the eggs to a plate and flipped the bacon that was frying in another skillet. "Alcide, though Quinn handled himself just fine. He was great with Justin."

"So why poor guy Alcide?" I moved to place the biscuits on a cookie sheet to be put in the oven. Even though the biscuits took longer to make, I knew that Amelia would use the bacon grease to make homemade gravy and that that by the time the biscuits came out, everything would be ready and still warm.

"I don't know, it just seemed at first he had no idea what to do or how to talk to Justin. It was like he had run into a lion on the savannah and didn't know if he should just stay still and hope the lion would ignore him or run," Amelia responded. "He didn't stay that way for long, but it was a little bit weird the first hour."

"I can't blame him," I whispered. "I just dumped everything on him. I'm surprised he didn't just go and run in the other direction as fast as his feet could carry him."

Amelia turned to face me with her hands on her hips, eyes flashing. "Is that what you think? Is that what you expect? For him to just leave?"

I gave a little shrug. "He's done it before."

"That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth, Sookie Stackhouse. You don't give the man enough credit."

"He did leave," I said tightly and turned to the fridge.

"When he was younger. You can't hold what happened in the past against him now. No more than he can hold what you've done in the past against you. I swear," Amelia huffed and removed the bacon from the skillet. "The two of you are just idiots."

I gaped at her, twisting around to look at her. "I'm not an idiot."

"Yes you are. You are going to be stupid and hold everything in. You are going to lose the one man you've ever loved by being stupid and clinging to stuff that is dead and gone," Amelia snapped at me as she added flour to the grease for gravy.

"Well what the hell am I supposed to think? He's walked out on me before. He could do it again."

"Just as you walked out on him?" Amelia asked smugly.

I winced. "That was different."

"Was it really? He left because he wanted something more. You could have, from what you told me, gone with him, but chose not to. You left him because you were afraid of being hurt again. He could have gone after you. You both made the same mistakes, just at different times."

I gnawed on my lip. She was right. There were different circumstances, but we had both essentially reacted the same way. "He was going to stay."

Amelia set aside the whisk and turned off the stove. She walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me. "I know, sweetie, he told me last night. I'm sorry."

I leaned into her comforting embrace. "I was so stupid and immature. I never gave him a chance."

"You can't go back and change the past. There's not anything you can do about it now but live with the knowledge."

"It hurts," I admitted softly. "Knowing that things could have been different, it hurts so much."

"Oh Sookie," Amelia said and held me tighter.

I squeezed my eyes together, refusing to cry again. "I don't know what to do anymore."

"I'll give you the same advice I gave Alcide last night. Let go of the past and look to the future. Get to know who he is now, not who he was then. It's impossible to completely start over, but do your best. Sookie, you love him."

"I don't," I lied. "Not anymore."

Amelia pulled back and gave me a look, raising one brow. "You are a horrible liar."

But she let it go. She didn't press, and I didn't say anything else. We went back to finishing breakfast and were laying things out on the table when Justin came in, rubbing his eyes sleepily and yawning.

He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, leaning against my legs. I stroked the hair out of his eyes. "Did you sleep well, sweetie?"

"Uh huh," he said quietly as he stared up at me. Then his eyes shifted from being sleepy to being excited. "My party is today!"

I laughed and set my coffee down. Then I scooped him up in my arms and covered his face with kisses, causing him to giggle. He fought me off, playfully of course. It warmed my heart that he was still willing to let me indulge in my mommy love. Unlike other boys, Justin had no problem letting me hug and kiss him as much as I wanted. It was understood that I wouldn't give any slobbery kisses or long hugs in public, but little ones were okay. I treasured it because I knew that some day, Justin wouldn't be so willing for even the smallest of hugs in public. One day my little boy would grow up and I wanted to hold on to these years for as long as I could.  
When he was breathless with laughter, I set him down and ruffled his bed hair. "So, you need to go wash up so we can have breakfast."  
A pout settled on his lips. "Can't we go to Mr. Merlotte's and set up for the party?"  
While Amelia laughed, I just smiled. "Sweetie, your party isn't for hours. And Sam probably isn't even up yet."  
"So?"  
I arched a brow at his petulant tone. "So, go wash up for breakfast." He glared at me and I just waited, crossing my arms under my chest. He glared some more so I said lightly, "If a certain five year old doesn't do as he's told, there won't be a party."

The glare turned into a pout. "Nah-uh."

"Try me," I said in a steely voice.

Justin gave a big sigh and turned, sulking, and shuffled out of the room. I caught Amelia's eye, saw her grin, and had to stop myself from laughing. Together we plated the breakfast food and poured out juice or coffee. By the time Justin came back in, tugging on Tray's hand, breakfast was ready. We ate and the entire time, Justin would ask when it was time for his party. You know when you take trips and someone is always asking, "Are we there yet?", well that was Justin this morning.

Even after breakfast, every time I turned around, he was there, begging to go to Merlotte's. I finally got tired of it and sent him into the playroom to watch a movie. Maybe that would keep him out of my hair. I still had a cake to bake.

I was in the middle of letting the two layers cool down before frosting it when the phone rang. It was Alcide, asking about giving Justin a puppy. Words could not describe how I felt when I got off the phone. I had no objections to a puppy, after all, I was the one who suggested it as a gift. But, it hit me hard.

Justin had been asking for a puppy for the last year and a half. I could have gotten him one at any time, except I wasn't sure he was ready for that responsibility. I figured now he was. He proved it, keeping his room clean and what not. I had actually been planning on getting him a puppy for his birthday. In fact, I had my eye on one at the shelter. So why did I suggest to Alcide that he give him one?

I knew, I just didn't like the answer. I was unsure of how much I wanted to be involved with Alcide, but I did want his son to love him. Giving Justin a puppy wouldn't automatically make Justin love him, but it would win points. Was I trying to tip things in Alcide's favor? Maybe I was, a little, but I couldn't find any reason not to. Yes, a puppy would make Justin like Alcide more, but it wouldn't make him love Alcide, it would simply smooth things over.

Perhaps, if I was petty, I would make things difficult for Alcide. I just couldn't see myself doing that. One of the things I've wanted the most since Justin was born was for his father to be involved in his life. Now I had that chance and I just couldn't bring myself to ruin it for Alcide and Justin, no matter how much I wanted to cling to my son. He deserved to know his father.

Still, it brought tears to my eyes, knowing that Alcide took my suggestion at heart. I knew how much Justin wanted a puppy and I knew how he would react to getting one. I couldn't deny that I'd enjoy the rush of affection that would come with the gift. What parent didn't want to make their child happy? I just seemed only fair to me after having Justin for five years, that Alcide gets a chance to know the no holds barred love of a child, of his child.

Turning, I saw Tray watching me, concern in his eyes. I shook my head and went back to the cake. I mixed dyes with the frosting for color and began the tedious process of decorating the Cars cake Justin wanted. I wasn't some fancy chef, but I managed to make a cake that looked like the Cars star, Lightning McQueen. The hardest part, honestly, was decorating the car. Justin couldabe picky, and it had to be just right.

I finished frosting the cake and slid it into the carrier and covered it. Justin knew what kind of cake he was getting, but I still wanted it to be a surprise. As I was putting the dirty bowls in the dishwasher, Amelia came in, rubbing her face.  
"That boy..." She trailed off and looked at me. "Finished?"  
I nodded. "Yeah, what's he doing now?"  
"Nothing now, Tray is playing Wii baseball with him."  
"That will keep him busy for awhile. I'm going to go shower, then I'll let you two off the hook."  
Amelia smiled. "I don't remember him being this excited about his party last year."  
"That's because we drowned the horror of ten 4 year olds with good old Jose after he went to sleep," I reminded her.  
Her eyes twinkled. "That explains. You go shower and I'll run herd on the boys."  
I stepped over and gave her a big hug. When I pulled back she was staring at me. "What was that for?"  
I shrugged. "For being a good friend."  
"Well give me another tonight with Jose," she joked.  
I snorted. "We'll need it."  
I left Amelia in the kitchen, laughing, and headed to my room. I could hear Justin arguing with Tray over some play as I stepped into my room. Closing the door, I leaned against it to catch my breath. The day was only going to get more hectic for me so I needed the moment of peace. The moment passed and I went to the closet. I pulled out a pair of worn blue jeans and a tank top. It was a kids party, no need to get all dressed up. Carrying the clothes with me, I went to take my shower.  
Twenty minutes later, I was dressing. After I blow dried my hair, I went to reclaim my son. He grumbled about giving up play time on the Wii, but when I reminded him that he had to get ready for the party, he shut up. He actually didn't complain about bath time in the middle of the day. Justin got dressed while I called and checked with Sam about coming over and setting up.  
Yelling a good bye to Amelia and Tray, Justin and I headed out to my SUV and headed to Merlotte's. Justin couldn't stop bouncing up and down in his seat from excitement. He yakked my ear off on the short drive to Merlotte's. I listened with one ear and cataloged everything I had to do. Decorate, see if Lafayette needed help cooking up the burgers and fries that was to be lunch, hide the presents so that Justin and his gang of friends weren't snooping, deal with Alcide being there. Oh lord.

We pulled into the lot and parked close to the door. Justin was unbuckled and out the door before I could say anything. Sam, who must have been watching for us, opened the door. Justin stopped just long enough to give him a hug around the legs before he darted inside. I rolled my eyes and got out of the SUV as Sam walked over.

Sam Merlotte was just a few years older than me, with a stocky body and strawberry blonde hair that curled a little at his neck. He'd been in Jason's class in school and went away for college for a couple years before coming back and settling in the family business. He took over for his parents, who retired to Florida a couple years ago. I worked at Merlotte's during the summer when I was on school breaks. I wasn't close to Sam, not like Jason was, but he was still a good friend. And unlike others in Bon Temps, he never judged me or looked at me like I was a scandal for having a child without being married. We dated, briefly, a couple years ago but we suited each other better as friends than as a couple.

His blue eyes were dancing as he opened the back and began to grab bags of decorations. "Wired, isn't he?"

"Oh just a little," I commented dryly as I grabbed the cake.

Sam and I walked side by side to the door and I held it open for him. He placed the sacks on the bar and I carried the cake into the back. The kitchen door was held open for me and when I walked through, there was a low wolf whistle. "Girl, you look delicious."

I snorted and gave the owner of the whistle a wry smile. "I look comfortable, which is the point."

"Chocolate chip cookies are comfortable and delicious," teased Lafayette. He waited for me to put down the cake before he gave me a hug. Lafayette was another close friend. Lafayette, like Amelia, followed me to Bon Temps when I moved back after college. He was one of my first friends during my college years. He was also an excellent chef and I felt his talents were wasted here, though he kept telling me that he was content working the grill at Merlotte's.

He was also very out of place in Bon Temps. Lafayette was a without a doubt, out of the closet, screaming gay, and he made no moves to hide it. He set the biddies on their heels when he arrived in Bon Temps and made no attempts to conceal his sexuality. I loved that about him.

Today he wore a pair of baggy jeans with an emerald t-shirt dress, and a glittered belt around his waist. He accessorized with a big diamond 'L' necklace, a pair of dangling earrings that sparkled as much as the necklace, and a black bandana. He added some eyeliner and emerald eyeshadow to complete his outfit.

"If anyone looks delicious," I said with a laugh, "it's you."

"Go on," Lafayette said with a grin and batted his eyes. "So where is this delicious cake you baked for our favorite boy?"

I pulled the cover off and showed off my masterpiece. When Lafayette whistled in appreciation, I felt a little thrill of achievement. If he thought it looked good, I couldn't have screwed up too much with it, despite my dubious cake decorating skills. "I'm glad you like. You gonna need help with the burgers?"

This time Lafayette rolled his eyes. "Please, as if I ever needed help in the kitchen. You go on and let me cook. You got a bar to decorate. Whoever heard of a kids birthday party in a bar?"

I pinched his ass on my way out and said, "We southerners, who have no class."

"You got plenty of class, baby, you just don't ever use it."

When I walked back out in the main room, Justin was standing on a milk crate and playing pool with Hoyt, another one of Jason's friend. When I moved to get him, Hoyt waved me off. Hoyt was another one of Justin's adoptive uncles. Hoyt and Jason had been friends since kindergarten and he might as well have been a Stackhouse. His daddy ran off when he was five, though Maxine Fortenberry, Hoyt's mama, would have us all think that he died. Maxine wasn't the best mother in the world and all throughout high school, Hoyt stayed with us more than he did at his own house. Gran just adopted him, so to speak, and being around Hoyt was like being around Jason. I knew that he wouldn't be bothered by Justin so I got to work decorating.

I was hanging streamers up behind the bar when Sam came over. He rested his arm on the bottom rung of the ladder I was using and stared up at me, his eyes unreadable. I grew uncomfortable under his silent observation and cracked. "Okay, what is it?"

His lips twitched. "You never could stand the silent treatment."

"That wasn't a silent treatment, Sam. It was you being unusually creepy," I said with a sigh.

"I stand corrected. So, Alcide Herveaux."

I blinked, caught off guard, and stared down at him. It didn't surprise me that Sam knew Alcide was back in town. Everyone knew by now. The joy of living in a small town. But what did surprise me was the tone of his voice. Knowing, speculative, with just a hint of jealously.

I forced myself to be calm. "What about him?"

"He called me earlier. Asked if it was okay to leave a present for Justin in my trailer around back," Sam said in that same tone.

I nodded. "I thought he might. It isn't a problem, is it?"

"No, Dean will be grateful for the company. What does strike me as, well, odd, is that he got Justin a present you were going to get him."

This time I didn't react. I knew what he was on about. Sure it was going to look strange that Alcide was giving Justin a puppy, since those kinds of gifts usually come from family or friends close enough to be family. There would be speculation since it was common knowledge Alcide and I had no contact with each other for the last five years. Someone smart, or just looking for gossip, would speculate on whether Alcide was Justin's father. I knew that and accepted it. From the way Sam was looking at me, he was guessing it as well.

I smiled tightly. "He didn't know what else to get him."

"I'm just surprised that you even invited him, given your history."

"Well Sam, it's just as you said, history. Alcide and I are grown up enough to put the past behind us. We were close once, and he is a family friend and I saw no reason not to invite him."

Sam arched a brow. "If you say so."

"You say that like you don't believe it," I commented as I taped some more streamers in place.

Sam gave a shrug and passed up more streamers. "Let's just say that I'm not sure what to believe. Alcide's never came back for an extended visit like this before. And here you are, inviting him to your son's party."

I set down the tape. "Sam, please, just don't go there."

I secured the last set of streamers and climbed down the ladder, Sam's hand on the small of back just in case I slipped. I heard Justin give a happy cry and watched as he rushed to the door. Alcide and Quinn came in and Justin latched onto Alcide's legs. My heart gave a thump in my chest, and I tightened my hold on the ladder as Alcide lifted Justin in his arms. Justin wrapped one arm around Alcide's neck and chattered a mile a minute.

I looked away, blinking tears out of my eyes. When I looked back down, Sam was watching me, his eyes full of surprise and understanding. I continued down the ladder and he pulled me in his arms. I leaned into his hold, trying to get my emotions under control.

"Why didn't you tell me Sookie?" he asked when I pulled back.

I gave him a sharp look. "There is nothing to tell, do you understand me, nothing, Sam."

"Okay, but I don't know why you are hiding it."

"Think about it for a few minutes, Sam, and you'll understand why. Alcide only just found out, so please, don't say anything."

Neither one of us said what we were thinking, that Alcide was Justin's father. Sam's eyes narrowed, and finally he nodded. "Fine, I won't say anything, but I hope one day you'll tell me everything."

"One day, maybe. Thanks Sam." I leaned up and brushed my lips over his cheek in a light kiss. When I turned, I caught Alcide staring at me, his eyes burning intensely. It was hot and accusing and I felt a little part of me wilt like a flower under the summer heat. What the hell was his problem?

Steeling myself, I walked over, noticing that Justin was back on the ground, but clinging to Alcide's hand. As I got closer, I heard Justin say, "Mom wouldn't let me bring my guitar, but maybe you could come to the house and teach me to play more."

"I'd love to," answered Alcide, his eyes on me. "That is, if it's alright with your mom."

Justin finally saw me and hurled himself against me, looking up with pleading eyes. "Oh please please can he come teach me to play my guitar?"

It would take a colder woman than me to turn down that plea. I smiled. "Sure, I don't have a problem with that. Honey, why don't you go see if Sam needs any help blowing up the balloons."

Justin nodded and went in search of Sam. Quinn looked between Alcide and me and grinned. "I'll just go see what I can help with. Don't kill each other."

He sauntered off, leaving Alcide staring at me with just the hint of disgust. I glared at him. "What's your problem?"

"Oh, I just can't see why you would want to hurt a good man like Sam," he said tightly.

My eyes widened. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

"I just mean, if you are going to throw yourself at someone, then you should do it when you aren't dating someone else."

My tempered flared at the accusation. He thought I was dating Sam? I thought back to what he had seen when he walked in. Sam touching me, holding me, me kissing him. Yeah, okay, I can see why that would be an easily misunderstood situation, but there were better ways to ask about it than accusing me of cheating.

I jabbed him in the chest and lowered my voice to a soft hiss. "First off, you couldn't be more mistaken if you tried. Second off, it is none of your business to judge me for whatever I do."

He reached up and grabbed my wrist. "It's my business when you cheat on your boyfriend with me."

I twisted my hand to try and free it, but Alcide refused to let go. "Sam is not my boyfriend. I'm not dating anyone at the moment, thank you very much."

Confusion blurred his eyes. "But I saw-"

"What you saw," I said tightly in a whisper, "was a friend helping me down a ladder and comforting me when seeing you with your son touched me. Now if we are through?"

Alcide let go of my hand and rubbed his eyes. "Sookie, I'm sorry. I thought-"

I cut him off with a withering look. "I know exactly what you thought and I'm disappointed in you. I thought you knew me better than that."

"I thought I knew you too, but I am finding out that I don't know you at all," Alcide countered with a subtle nod towards Justin, a reminder of just how much I've kept from him.

My cheeks burned but I said calmly, "One does not have to do with the other. I'll see you later, I got work to finish."

"I'll help," Alcide offered.

"Then go see what Sam needs done. I don't want to see you right now." I turned on my heel and stalked off towards the kitchen. I was still pissed. I couldn't believe that Alcide would think that I'd cheat on someone I was with. Cheating just wasn't in my make up. I saw no reason for it. Either you were happy with the person you were with or you weren't. And if you weren't, then you should just end the relationship and move on. Cheating just ended up hurting everyone involved when it could be avoided.

Of course, it wasn't like I had given him any reason not to doubt me. We might move on from this, but I seriously doubted that Alcide would ever completely trust me again. That itself was just another damaging blow. I thought that I was protecting my son. I never once over the years considered how much it would hurt me. Live and learn.

I forced myself to push it all out of my mind. Amelia and Tray showed up and I got down to business decorating. Justin's party was going to be a success or my name wasn't Sookie Stackhouse. I wasn't going to let Alcide and my confused feelings over him ruin my boy's special day.

**A/N: So what did you think? Leave me a review! I'll try to be better at responding. I've gotten lazy so no promises.**


	17. Feels Like Today

**Author's Notes: Another chapter! First chapter of the New Year! Celebrate with me! I won't make any promises, but I will try my best to get back to a regular posting schedule. My resolution is to write more and not procrastinate over it. We'll see how it goes. As ever, thanks to LindsayK for being my awesome beta. She's got an awesome story out, Head Full of Doubt: Road Full of Promise. If you aren't reading it, GO do so now!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of SVM.**

**It's Your Song**

**Chapter Seventeen**

_I woke up this morning with this feeling inside me that I can't explain _

~Feels Like Today by Rascal Flatts

**APOV**

The pup I got for Justin was well behaved, and when I put it in the trailer that was set back behind Merlotte's an aged collie greeted it. Quinn and I watched for a few minutes, to make sure the older dog wouldn't hurt the young one. We left them in doggie heaven, the pup slobbering over the collie, who took it in stride, and even seemed a little excited to have himself a playmate. Maybe he thought he was a puppy again. Who knows what goes on in an animal's mind?

With Quinn at my back, we headed back around the building and inside. There weren't many vehicles parked in the lot. I saw a couple of cars and Sookie's SUV. She must have been inside getting things set up. We could help with that. I pulled at the door, finding it unlocked and opened it. Two things caught my attention.

The first was Justin's happy cry when he saw me. The second was Sookie standing on a ladder behind the bar, hanging up streamers. It wasn't Sookie herself that caught my attention, but the man who was standing beside the ladder. With his hand on her lower back. Rage like I've never felt before rushed through me. I don't know what I would have done if Justin hadn't hurled himself against my legs. Maybe kick the man's ass. Which was still sounding good in my mind.

Logically, I knew I had no right to feel angry or even jealous. Sookie and I weren't together, she wasn't mine. I had no right to be angry. None. So we had a child together, but that was all. Emotionally it was a whole other story. I was pissed that some guy thought that he could touch my woman. I paused and thought about that...Yeah, we might not be together, but she was still mine. I still wanted her. I'd probably go to my grave wanting her. She'd always be mine. Again it was irrational, but since when did logic and emotions go hand in hand?

The man turned to look at me, and I recongized him as Sam Merlotte. She was with him? She never mentioned it, never mentioned dating anyone. Obviously, she had changed more than I thought she had. And the way she kissed me after the concert...the rage built again.

I had to force my attention away from Sookie and the man because Justin was tugging on my shirt. "Alcide! You came!"

"Well you invited me didn't you?" I asked, bending down to lift him up in my arms. Justin hooked an arm around my neck and grinned.

"I didn't think you would."

"Why wouldn't I?"

Justin lowered his voice to a whisper. "Because you are famous!"

Quinn snorted, and I glared at him. I smiled at Justin. "I'm not that famous. I wouldn't miss this party for anything in the world. It looks like it will be fun."

"Mommy made me a Lightning McQueen cake!"

"Yummy," I commented. "So," I asked looking around, being careful not to look at Sookie and Sam. "What's going on here?"

Justin wrinkled his nose. "Decorating for the party. I wish it could just start."

Quinn laughed. "A man after my own heart."

Justin grinned at him. "Hi Quinn! Did you get me a present?"

Quinn reached out and tweaked Justin's nose. "Didn't I get you one last night? You think you are so special you need two?"

Justin giggled and puffed out his chest. "Of course, I'm the birthday boy."

"Well sorry to disappoint, but I didn't bring another present."

Justin stuck out his lower lip in a pout. "Nuts."

I chuckled and lowered him back to the ground. I was pleased when Justin held on to my hand. "I think that you'll get a nice load of presents today. All your friends are coming right?"

As I spoke, I looked over at Sookie and Sam. She was giving him a kiss on the cheek. The anger roared in my ears and I couldn't keep the anger or accusation out of my eyes when she glanced over.

"Yup! Everyone in my daycare!" Justin grinned up at me, and I looked down. "Mom wouldn't let me bring my guitar."

I noticed Sookie walking over as Justin went on to say, "Maybe you can come to the house and teach me to play my guitar?"

I turned so I met Sookie's eyes. "I'd love to. That is, if it is alright with your mom."

Justin turned pleading eyes to Sookie. I watched her face, watched indecision then reluctance play across it before she finally agreed. Then she sent Justin off to find Sam. Convenient, I suppose. Justin left with an eagerness that left me a little jealous.

Quinn spoke up. I was surprised he kept silent for this long. "I'll just go see what I can do to help." With a warning not to kill each other, he left.

Now that Justin was gone and Quinn was too, I was able to give Sookie a look full of disgust. I couldn't stop myself. She was seeing someone, and toying with me. Though a small part of me knew she wasn't exactly toying with me, she had turned me down. But before that she had kissed me. Remembering that made me able to be mad at her.

Imagine my surprise when she denied dating Sam and admitted that she wasn't dating anyone. Confusion and regret replaced anger. How was I to repair the damage between us when I acted like an ass and just assumed she was with anyone just by how she acted. This was Sookie. I knew better. She might have changed over the years, but she wouldn't have changed that much. I needed to sort my shit out or I was going to screw up everything entirely.

I tried to apologize, but Sookie wasn't having it. She had a point. But it was going to be hard, with Justin hanging over us. Learning about him, that she'd kept him a secret on purpose, well, it wasn't going to be easy. It would take a long while, no matter what my feelings towards Sookie were, for me to trust her completely again. I wanted to, lord knows I did, but I just couldn't. It was a deep wound and those took time in healing.

She sent me after Sam to see what I could help with. Instead of objecting, I let her walk away. She needed time to calm down, and so did I. I wasn't about to charge after her and fuck up more. I did know how to learn from my mistakes, contrary to what Quinn might think. So I went to where Sam was in a corner blowing up balloons. Justin had long abandoned him to play pool with Quinn and some other guy I vaguely recongized.

"Hey there, Alcide. Welcome home," Sam greeted me with a smile.

Now that I knew he wasn't involved with Sookie, it was easy to smile back at him. "Thanks. Looks like you've done good with this place. How are you parents?"

"Relaxing in Florida. Thank God," he added with a roll of his eyes. "So, what is it like coming full circle?"

I blinked in confusion, then laughed. I had gotten my start playing here in Merlotte's and now I was back. "It feels great. I don't know if I would have gone off to Nashville if your parents hadn't let me play here when I was a kid."

"They were awful proud of you when you released your first album," Sam confessed.

I picked up a bright blue balloon and toyed with it. "I sent them a copy of it. As a thank you for everything they did."

Sam jerked his head towards the bar. "They had it framed. Said it wasn't every day that someone famous came from Bon Temps, and it needed a place of honor."

I looked towards the bar and saw the framed CD in the center of the wall, framed on either side by shelves of alcohol. I can't say why it hit me, but it did. I coughed to get rid of the lump in my throat, moved beyond belief by that simple framed CD. Sure I had plenty from when albums went platinum, but this one was just more special because I had discovered my love of singing and playing here.

Sam noticed the emotion on my face, and thankfully changed the subject. "So, you've probably been asked this a lot, but how long you staying?"

I blinked and reorganized my thoughts. "Oh I don't know. I got a while before I have to be back in the studio for recording. Maybe a couple months."

Sam nodded and gathered up an armful of balloons. "Maybe you could come play once and a while. So you don't get rusty."

The thought of coming back and playing at Merlotte's after selling out arenas across the country amused me. It also made me feel more at home. "I'd like that. So where do these balloons get hung up at?"

I made my way around the bar with Sam, hanging up balloons. I saw Amelia and Tray come in and Sookie came out, setting out trays of food and the cake. I helped where I could and stayed out of Sookie's way. From the little glares she kept sending my way, she still hadn't forgiven me for my screw up. Quinn noticed it and pulled me away to a corner.

"Just what the hell did you do?" he demanded in a low whisper.

I shook my head and scrubbed a hand through my hair. "Nothing. Well not nothing, but it was a misunderstanding. I'm an idiot, okay."

"Well," Quinn said dryly, "I could have told you that."

"Shut up," I muttered. "I'll fix it. I hope."

"You better get your head out your ass if you ever want her back."

"Who said I did?" I asked, wondering just how was it Quinn was always able to accurately judge what I was thinking. Sometimes I think we spend too much time together.

"Unlike you, I'm not stupid," Quinn said snidely. "Which is a shame, cause if you were smarter, you and Sookie would make a cute couple."

"What, trying to get rid of me?" I asked with a teasing voice. I wanted to change the subject. I did not want to get started on the topic of Sookie and I. I wasn't ready for it.

Quinn winked. "I'll never get rid of you."

"Oh the pity," I said.

Quinn patted me on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Alcide. You'll get her back. When you aren't looking, she's looking at you, without the glare. She's thinking of you."

Quinn noticed everything. His assessment of Sookie made the load on my shoulders just a little bit lighter. Maybe there was hope. I just grinned at him, knowing I didn't have to say anything. No matter what happened, Quinn would always have my back. It was nice to have a friend like that.

By the time we all finished the decorating, people started to arrive. It wasn't just the children who went to daycare with Justin, but friends of Sookie. Jason was there, with his wife. I had met her briefly, the day before at Justin's birthday party. I didn't like her. I also didn't like the way she kept looking at me with this hungry look in her eyes. It made me uncomfortable. Luckily Crystal had left shortly after we arrived, so I didn't have to put up with her. Given how Jason didn't seem to care about her leaving, I was surprised to see her here today. Though I guess she couldn't not come to her nephew's birthday party.

I lost count of how many people came up to me to welcome me home and ask me questions about Nashville and my career. Everyone was curious. I even got requests to sing. I brushed those off. I wasn't about to steal Justin's thunder. This was his party. Quinn abandoned me by the fifth time someone asked me if I knew Garth Brooks. Left laughing at that. He ended up helping serve food. Jerk.

Looking to make an escape, I headed over to the bar. Sookie was sitting there, overseeing Justin and his friends sitting at a booth eating. Amelia was with her and they were chatting with another women I didn't know. I tried to make myself look inconspicuous, but there was only so much someone my size could do. It was Amelia who called me over.

"Alcide, come on over here and say hi."

Seeing no way out and avoiding Sookie's gaze, I walked over to the women. Amelia slipped her arm through mine. "Holly, this is Alcide. Alcide, this is Sookie's receptionist and right hand woman at the clinic."

I held my hand out to Holly, resigning myself to giggles and blushes. Holly surprised me by giving me a firm handshake. "Nice to meet you. I like your music. It's good stuff."

"Thanks. It had better be good, or I wouldn't have a job."

Holly laughed. "I don't think you have anything to worry about. So you grew up here?"

"Born and raised," I confirmed.

Holly got a wicked gleam in her eyes. "So you knew Sookie as a child? What was she like? Was she always work obsessed and efficient?"

Sookie glared at Holly. "I am not obsessed with work."

"Ha! If it wasn't for Justin, you'd spend all your time in the clinic, whether you need to or not," Holly shot back.

"Some things never change," I commented lightly. "She was a little obsessive with school, making good grades."

Sookie stiffened and gave me a cold look. "Well not all of us had Granddaddy's money to fall back on. Some of us had to work to get what we have today."

It was a dig and a well placed one at that. I could feel the sting of it, and Holly looked like she wished she never brought it up. What irked me, a lot, is that Sookie seemed to think that I just coasted through my life in the early part of my career. Sure I had money to help support me, but money didn't buy me my record deal. Remembering the five long years it took for me to get that record deal, I could honestly say that I worked as hard as Sookie did.

But before I could say anything, Sookie stood up and went over to Justin. Holly gave me a regretful look and mouth 'sorry' before she walked off to the children's table too. Amelia scooted over so that she was sitting next to me.

"Well wasn't that pleasant?" she asked dryly.

I shrugged. "Peachy."

"Guess she's a little touchy." Amelia gave me an arched look.

"Little doesn't begin to describe it. Is she going to hold every little thing against me?" I figure if anyone knew, Amelia would.

Amelia looked thoughtful. "I would say no, because Sookie really can't hold a grudge. But then again, you are a special case. I'm surprised no one has started asking about the two of you and you-know-who."

I thought about Justin and how that everyone in this room, with a few exceptions, knew about my past with Sookie. Yeah, maybe coming here was a mistake. "Give it a few days. I'm sure there are some curious busy bodies who are wondering why I'm here when I haven't been around for five years. The rumor mill in Bon Temps will pick up."

"You'll handle it, and so will Sookie. She's put up with a lot since she came back because of Justin."

With that cryptic remark, Amelia wondered off. Just what had she meant by that? What had been said about Sookie? I looked over the crowd, seeing some of Adele's friends. Oh yeah. Fuck. I could only imagine what kind of things were said about Sookie being a single parent. We might be living in 2010, but a lot of people of Bon Temps thought it was the early nineties. Raising a child by yourself with no husband just wasn't done. Damn them.

I pushed it out of my mind, vowing to get the whole story out of someone soon. I wanted to know what was said, what people thought, but not now. The kids had finished their lunch and were gathering around the table with the cake on it. I had to admit, it was a nice cake. Sookie did a real good job with it. She lit the candles and we all gathered around to sing to Justin. I made sure to keep my voice low, not wanting to bring attention to myself.

Justin grinned, and happily blew out all five candles at once. Sookie and Amelia cut the cake and a tall black man I learned to be Lafayette, Merlotte's cook, handed out slices to everyone. I took mine and hid in a corner to watch. I wasn't needed until it was time to open presents. Which came all too soon as the children devoured their cake.

Justin sat on the small stage and Sookie handed him presents. Maybe it was just me, but I don't remember getting so many presents on my birthday at that age. The boy hit the present jackpot, just like I predicted. He mostly got cars and trucks. Holly and her son had gotten him this nifty remote control car and race track and Justin almost didn't want to open the rest of his presents in favor of playing with it. Sookie talked him out of it and he opened the rest of his presents. Finally he had opened the rest of them, and Sookie looked for me.

I walked forward as she said. "There's one more present for you, Justin."

Justin looked around and I signaled Quinn. He gave a nod and slipped out the back to fetch the puppy. I walked over and it didn't slip my notice that certain people looked from me to Sookie and gave each other knowing smiles. I put it out of my mind and crouched down by Justin.

His eyes went a little wide. "You got me something else?"

"Well I couldn't come and not bring a present, could I?" I asked. "Your mother gave me the idea, so you should thank her."

Justin looked at his mother and Sookie smiled. "I know how much you wanted one, and when Alcide asked what he could get you, I suggested it."

Just then Quinn walked in, his arms full of squirming puppy. If it was possible, Justin's eyes got even wider and he looked between Sookie and me, his mouth parted. "Oh really? For me?"

I nodded, and reached for the puppy. Quinn passed him over and then it was my turn to deal with the squirming puppy. There was a chorus of aws and how cutes as I passed the puppy over to Justin. "Yes, for you. I've got his adoption papers and your mother can handle his shots, seeing as she's a vet."

I grinned up at Sookie and to my surprise, she grinned back at me. There was a glimmer of tears in her eyes. I wanted to reach up and wipe them away, but I couldn't without causing more gossip. Instead I looked away, swallowing hard.

It was a moment. Giving my little boy something he wanted so much. I'll never forget the pure undiluaed joy on his face. He was giggling as the puppy wiggled around to lick his face, his butt and tail wagging with his own excitement.

"Oh thank you, Alcide! Thank you!" Justin shifted the puppy under one arm and threw the other around my neck in a hard hug.

I hugged him back, struggling to keep my face even. If I broke down, then I definitely give the gossips something to talk about. It was the single most treasured moment in my life to date. Not even winning an award could compare to getting a hug from my child for the first time. I would never forget it. Ever.

"What's his name?" Justin asked, turning his attention back to the puppy.

I stood up and stepped back so his friends could crowd around to pet the puppy. "He hasn't got one. That's your job."

Justin giggled and stroked a hand down the puppy's head. "I'll call him...Cash. After Johnny Cash because he's the bestest singer...next to you of course."

I laughed along with everyone else. I tousled Justin's hair. "While I appreciate the vote of confidence, I'd have to say that Johnny Cash is a much better singer than I am. I think Cash is a great name."

"Cash it is! Mommy do you see? I got a puppy!" Justin turned his attention back to Sookie.

Sookie wiped her eyes. "I see baby. Why don't you guys take Cash out back."

Sam spoke up from behind Sookie. "You can let Dean out of the house and play with them both."

"Oh wow! Thanks Sam!"

It was like a herd of horses being unleashed as the children stampeded outside. I expected Sookie to follow but instead she was standing at my side. When I looked over, Jason and Tray were following the children out. Ignoring the stares of everyone else, Sookie grabbed my arm and pulled me to the kitchen. I followed, unsure of what she wanted.

When we were alone, she released my arm. "Alcide, I'm sorry about snapping at you earlier."

Oh. Well, this was unexpected. What made her change her mind? I asked just that. "Not that I'm unhappy you are apologizing, but why? You have every right to be upset with me. I was assuming something and acting like an ass."

Sookie laughed. "Well that's a first, you admitting you were wrong."

"It's something I've learned over the years," I admitted easily.

"As to why, well, it wouldn't be fair to you to stay mad when you don't know any better. Plus," she sighed. "I can't be mad at you after that. Justin, well you've made him very happy, both with the puppy and with the guitar. I can't hate someone who makes him that happy."

Unable to stop myself, I reached out and touched her cheek. Her skin was soft under mind. "Could you really hate me?"

Sookie froze under my touch, her eyes bright. Then she pulled back. "Maybe, maybe not. Could you hate me?"

I let my hand fall to my side. "Under the circumstances, I should say yes. But," it was my turn to sigh. "No, I couldn't. I could never be mad at you."

"Then that's something." Sookie stared down at her hands. "Whenever you want to come out to the house, just call and let me know. Or Amelia. One of us is always there, or Tray. I want you to have time with Justin. I won't keep you from him. Plus," and she smiled. "He's expecting you to teach him how to play that guitar."

I smiled at the thought of teaching my son how to play my favorite instrument. "I look forward to it. I don't know when I can come over, but I'll see. Most likely Quinn will tag along."

"That's fine. I like him, and so does Justin. You two are always welcome at the house, just give us some warning."

Why would she need warning? No, I wouldn't ask that. I wasn't going to start another fight. For the first time since the concert, Sookie and I were on some kind of even ground and I wasn't about to screw that up right now. I liked not having her upset with me and I liked not being upset with her. For a moment, just a brief one, with her smiling up at me, blue eyes light and joyful, I could pretend that we were back in high school and sneaking around for kisses. I knew it wasn't that, but it was a nice feeling.

"I should get back out there. I just wanted to thank you for getting that puppy for Justin. I could swear I've seen it before..."

This time it was my turn to grin widely. "You probably have. I picked it up from the Monroe shelter, or rather, the temporary one they got set up."

"Oh! That explains it." Then she completely surprised me and gave me a quick hug. "You are a good man, Alcide. I'm glad that hasn't changed."

Before I could do anything but appreciate the feel of her soft curves pressed against my body, Sookie was pulling away and she was gone. Staring after her, I wondered what that was about. I had thought it would take forever to get her to touch me or hug me like that. Then I remembered that Sookie had a soft spot for shelter animals. It seemed that by adopting the puppy for Justin I won not only points with Justin, but points with Sookie. It was a good day.

I headed back out for the rest of the party and spent my time conversing with the guests. In a better mood, I was more agreeable to coming and playing one night in Merlotte's, even though I already promised Sam. I didn't say what night, but whatever night I chose, it would be packed. Free concerts, even one so small like this would be, always brought out the crowds. Two hours later I left with Quinn, whistling and planning my first visit for Justin. For my first birthday party, I'd say it went pretty damn well.

**Author's Notes: See they are making progress! I think. Alcide is screwy. Thanks as always for reading and I hope you leave a review.**

**Pimp hat time. LindsayK, MakesMyHeadSpin, and I are hosting a contest called Happily (N)ever After. It's all about your favorite characters NOT getting a happily ever after. Dare to be different and write up an entry. Submissions are open and will be open until Feb. 14Th, Valentine's Day. More information can be found here:**

**http : / www(dot)fanfiction9dot)net/ u/ 2606362/ Happily_Never_After_Contest**

**Just remove the dots and spaces, or look under my favorite authors. Hope to see you enter!**


	18. She's Every Woman

**Author's Notes: Betcha didn't expect to see this update? Yeah I didn't think you'd did. I'm horrible. But, I'm also easily distracted and other projects keep distracting me. I'm trying to do better, honest. I'm even in a program. Thanks to scribeninja for her awesome beta'ing skills and amusing .gif comments. Mountain Dew should never come back up ones nose. Just saying.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SVM or any of the characters.**

**It's Your Song**

**Chapter Eighteen**

_It needs no explanation cause it all makes perfect sense. For when it comes to temptation, she's on both sides of the fence._

~She's Every Woman by Garth Brooks

**SPOV**

It took some time, but we adjusted to having a new pet in the house. If I let Justin, he'd have Cash sleeping with him every night, but I had to draw the line somewhere. As it was, the two of them spent every waking moment together. Which was good because it was building a bond. I fixed up a nice doggy bed in the living room, but somehow that first night, Cash ended up in my bed. I could not resist those pitiful brown eyes that just begged me not to leave him alone.

We settled into a routine for the next three weeks. Cash woke me up and I let him out to do his morning business, then he'd wake Justin up with kisses. While breakfast was being fixed, Justin and Cash would have some playtime. Then Justin would either go to daycare or stay at home with Tray and Cash while I worked. Sometimes I brought both boy and puppy with me if it was a light day at work.

Life with Cash wasn't the problem. The problem was life with Alcide around. Every time I turned around, he was there. Okay, maybe not every single time, but it seemed like it. He made a habit of dropping by the clinic during my lunch hour, to set up play dates, so to speak, for him and Justin. He was at the grocery store when I stopped to pick up milk or juice. He was at the gas station when I stopped to fill up. At least three or four times a week he was at the house, joining us for dinner before giving Justin lessons on his guitar.

If it wasn't for the fact that I knew that it was just coincidence that we ran into each other in town, I'd say that he was stalking me. But Bon Temps was a small town and you couldn't not bump into someone. That was just small town life. But it still grated my nerves every time I saw him outside his visits.

Worse, I was so sick of the whispers, and the way everyone stopped talking when I walked into a room. Just the other day I stopped at the post office to mail some bills I forgot to put in the mailbox. Maxine Fortenberry was there with two of her cronies and they were chatting with the postmistress. As soon as I walked in, they shut up, leading me to assume they were talking about me and Alcide. I wasn't just being paranoid.

It was in their eyes, the way they looked me over and asked oh so casually how I was getting along with Alcide now that he was back in town. There wasn't any hard feelings between us, were there? I wanted to slap the old gossips but I just smiled and told them things were fine and that we were too old to hold grudges. It wouldn't surprise me if people were assuming Justin was Alcide's. There were probably rumors abound and I just hade't heard them yet.

I thought I'd be okay with having Alcide around. I convinced myself that I'd be okay. To everyone else, I was okay. I made sure of that. But inside I was a mess. Seeing him tore me up inside. It wasn't possible to look at him and see a man. No, looking at him made me see everything we had been. I swear my stomach tied itself up in knots whenever he came over. It felt like I was walking a razor's edge.

Of course, no matter how much he got on my nerves, I was able to push it aside because of how he made Justin smile. I can't remember when I've ever seen Justin take to a man the way he took to Alcide. I don't know if it was some instinctive connection between the two or if Alcide was really that likeable to children, but they were best buddies inside a week. Alcide was great with Justin, enduring long hours of the most mindless games Justin could think of, and having a wealth of patience when it came to teaching a five year old to play the guitar.

It was enjoyable to watch them together. I could spend hours watching them. Justin would perch on Alcide's knee, completely dwarfed by Alcide's large frame. The small guitar was balanced on his knee. Alcide's hand, completely engulfing Justin's, would show Justin which chords to strum. They'd work on one song for a while, then when Justin had it down, Alcide would bring out his guitar and they would play it together.

I don't know why I never noticed it before, but Justin was as musically inclined as his father. It took only one of these lessons for me to realize that. He just inhaled them like they were his favorite candy. When he wasn't outside playing or watching one of his favorite shows, he was in his bedroom, practicing. Alcide never said anything, but I could see the pride and wonder in his eyes when Justin showed off how well he learned a song. Hell, I was proud, but it didn't reach the same level as Alcide. In fact, I think that Justin's skills with the guitar went a long way towards healing the rift between us on Alcide's side. He certainly was easier to be around, and didn't glare at me quite so much.

Maybe that was why he had taken to showing up wherever I was. After three weeks of it, I was going insane from frustration and my own desire. It was physically impossible to be that close to him all the time and not want him. I caught myself countless times after Justin went to bed wanting to ask him to stay. Only the thought of him refusing kept me from asking. I knew he wouldn't say yes. He wasn't ready for it. Truthfully, as much as I wanted him, I wasn't sure I was ready for it. Or even worse, he'd say yes and I wouldn't be able to say no.

I had a memorable conversation with Quinn a couple days ago. He came over with Alcide for Justin's guitar lesson and the two of us ended out on the front porch with glasses of sweet tea while the boys played. I could see why Alcide was friends with Quinn. He was funny and easy to talk to. A bit blunt at times, but it worked with him. It was all part of his personality. He had told me, in one of our many conversations, that he and Alcide had been friends pretty much since Alcide arrived in Nashville. They had that whole bromance thing going on.

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen Alcide this happy," Quinn had commented as we sat on the porch in our rocking chairs.

I arched a brow at that. "Not even when he won that, what was it, ACM?"

Quinn laughed and shook his head. "Different kind of happy. No, he seems more centered since we've been here. He's been writing more."

I nodded and leaned back in my chair. "There's no place like home."

"You said it, Dorothy. Though I think it has more to do with you and Justin than being back in Bon Temps."

I snorted into my glass. "Justin maybe, but not me."

Quinn turned his head to me and gave me a dry look. "You think so? Girl, you don't see what I see when he looks at you."

"Disinterest? Disgust?" I shot back.

"Passion, pure unrestrained passion. He wants you."

I refused to believe that. "He can't stand me. We may have this truce thing going on, but he doesn't want me."

Quinn shifted and took a sip of his tea. "Maybe you think that because you want him, too."

I laughed at that. "Oh sure I want him, like a dog wants a flea bath. Sorry to shatter your illusions Quinn, but whatever there was between Alcide and I went away a long time ago." As lies went, I thought it was a pretty good one. I just didn't want Quinn to know how he nailed it. The man had some kind of radar or something. I drained my glass and stood up. "I've got paperwork to do."

I moved past him, and Quinn grabbed my arm. I glanced down at him and he said, "Sookie, I know I don't know you that well, and I didn't make a good first impression, snapping your head off when you called Alcide, but I refuse to believe that you and Alcide are nothing to each other. You mean something to him, otherwise he never would have written that song. He means something to you, otherwise you wouldn't be letting him around Justin now."

Pulling my arm out of his hold, I said slowly, "I let him around Justin because it's the right thing to do. I know I screwed up, but I do know what is right and what is wrong. Keeping him from Justin now that he knows the truth is wrong. I'm not a complete bitch."

"I believe that. He isn't a complete bastard either. I think once the two of you get your heads screwed on straight you'll both realize how much you care for each other."

I didn't have anything to say to that, so I said nothing. It scared me that he might be right. I went inside and could hear the strains of soft music from the living room. A part of me wanted to go and listen, but I made myself go back to my home office. I hadn't been lying when I told Quinn I had paperwork. You'd be surprised just how much work went into running a clinic. It always seemed that I had bills to pay or medicines to order.

Of course, thanks to Quinn I didn't get much paperwork done. He had given me a lot to think about. Did Alcide still care? Should I try and be more than a friend? What if I tried to get something going with Alcide again and he shot me down? I still loved him and finding out that he didn't love me, well that would just kill me. I wouldn't be able to handle that sort of heartbreak. Better to just keep things the way they were. I could deal with not knowing, it's the knowing that was a killer.

That was two days ago and here I was, parked outside Alcide's house, Justin in the backseat bouncing eagerly in his booster seat. Alcide had called me yesterday, asking if I'd be alright with Justin coming over for some lessons and to see his horses. They had arrived that morning and Alcide had told Justin stories about them. Plus, Alcide wanted me to check them out and make sure they handled the trip alright. It felt odd being here again, in an official capacity.

"Mom, can we get out now?" Justin asked, eagerness pitching his voice high.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and nodded. "Yeah, baby, let's get out."

I had shut my door and was going around to let Justin out when the front door opened and Alcide stepped out onto the porch. I felt a little hitch in my heart when I saw him standing there, one hand tucked into the pocket of his Wranglers. The top two buttons of his red and white plaid were undone, giving me a glimpse of his chest, and he had left it untucked. His hair was tousled, and there were creases on his face, like he had just woken up from a nap. His beard was gone, which surprised me.

Justin jumped out of the car when I opened the door and raced up the porch. He threw himself at Alcide with the careless ease of a child around someone he liked. The hitch in my heart got just a little stronger as I watched Alcide scoop him up and balance him on his hip. Justin had one arm wrapped around Alcide's neck. They looked so perfect together that I had to go get my bag of equipment to distract myself.

Hefting the bag, I strolled to the porch. "Horses in the barn?"

Alcide shifted Justin to his other hip. "Yeah. There's three of them, two Quarter Horses and a Thoroughbred."

I arched a brow. "Nice. Anything I need to know about them?"

"The Thoroughbred has some problems, old injuries, but they may have been aggravated by the trip. I didn't feel any heat in his legs last night, but-"

I offered him a smile. "But you never know. I'll come on in when I finish, if you like?"

Justin tugged on his sleeve. "I wanna see the horses and watch Mommy work."

I looked away. I didn't mind Justin being around when I worked, but just the thought of Alcide watching made me feel uneasy. Of course I couldn't tell him no, they were his animals, but dammit, it felt like if he watched I had to prove something. Prove that going away, getting my degree, and everything had been worth losing him. Idiotic thinking, I know, but it was how I felt.

I did not feel better when Alcide said, "Then let's just head on down to the barn. Sookie, you don't mind, do you?"

I shook my head, and said tersely, "Your animals."

I led the way, carefully not looking at Alcide. The ground was soft under my feet, the grass a rich lush green that seemed more vibrant than usual. Justin's light chatter about what Cash had done to my shoes earlier filled the air as I led the way to the backyard and the barn there. The doors was open and I could hear the soft neighs as I walked in. Three heads appeared over the stall doors.

I went to the first and stroked my hand down the glossy bay cheek. Out of all the animals I worked with, I had to say that horses were my favorite. There was just something about their eyes, warm and trusting. So I lost myself in the business and pleasure of examining Alcide's horses one by one while Alcide watched over Justin. Justin was thrilled and was already begging to go for rides.

I finished my examination, and stepped out of the stall to find Alcide and Justin watching me. I offered them a smile as I set my bag aside. "The horses are fine. A bit of heat in the Thoroughbred's shins, but nothing too serious. If you rub some liniment on it and ice it down, he should be fine by morning. You can call me if it gets worse."

"Thanks, Sookie," Alcide replied as he lifted Justin up so that Justin was face to face with the gelding.

"He's soft," Justin commented with a giggle as he stroked the gelding's cheek. The horse snorted and lowered his head to sniff at Alcide's pockets.

Alcide laughed easily and reached into his pocket to reveal a carrot and offered it to the horse. "This old fellow knows me well."

"Can I feed one of the horses?" Justin asked, twisting around to meet Alcide's eyes.

Alcide set Justin down and handed him another carrot. Justin scampered off to the next stall, where the other Quarter Horse gelding lowered his head to take the carrot. Alcide stepped back to join me. I shifted away when he brushed against my arm. Alcide looked down at me, a glint in his eyes. It made me uneasy, not to mention the heat I saw there made things flip flop in my stomach.

"You've got some great horses," I said, groping at something to talk about.

"I like them." Alcide reached over and ran his fingers through the stray locks of hair that had come free from my pony tail. I jerked back like I had been burned. Alcide quirked his eyebrow and held up some straw. "This was in your hair."

"Oh," I murmured, embarrassed. What had I expected him to do? Grab me and kiss me senseless? I cleared my throat. "So, how are you settling in?"

"Fine. I forgotten how slow the small town life is."

I wrinkled my nose, a little offended. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

Alcide winced and shook his head. "No, it isn't. I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that I'm too used to living in the city and the fast pace." He gave a shrug. "Well that, and the monotonous travel of being on tour."

"You make it sound like you don't like touring," I commented.

"No, I love it," Alcide said with a grin. "Don't get me wrong, touring can be tiring and slightly repetitive. But it's really worth it. There's nothing like coming into a new city and seeing the crowds and meeting the fans."

I leaned back against the wall, one eye on Justin, the other on Alcide as he spoke of his latest tour. There was a glint in his eye, a shine of pure enjoyment. It made me think of how much he enjoyed singing when we were younger. Listening to Alcide made me realize that I was right, in a small way, in not telling him about Justin. He never would have experienced all he did if I had told him. He wouldn't have been as open to everything if he had Justin and me to rush back home to.

Alcide trailed off. "Sookie."

I blinked, coming out of my thoughts. "Yeah?"

"Are you doing anything tonight?"

Startled, I looked at him, narrowing my eyes. That glint was back in his eyes. Just what was he up to? "Why do you ask?"

Alcide gave Justin a wary look and said, "I was thinking that maybe you and I could do something."

I looked down at Justin, who wasn't paying attention to us. "Actually, I do have plans tonight."

"Oh really?" Alcide's voice had a cool note to it.

I raised my eyebrows at his tone, not really liking it or appreciating the insinuating tone. "Yes. Justin is staying over at Holly's tonight. Since it's just going to be us tonight, Amelia thought it would be fun to invite some friends over."

"Oh." At least he had the decency to look a little ashamed. Served him right for assuming things like I knew he was.

"You and Quinn can come over it you want," I offered. "It's a small thing. Just us, Jason, maybe Crystal, Tara and her husband."

Alcide rocked back on his heels, a smile on his face. "Sookie, are you inviting me over tonight?"

I crossed my arms over my stomach and tried not to sulk. He made it sound like I was inviting him over for a date. "I'm inviting you over to spend an evening with friends. Nothing more to it."

"I'll talk it over with Quinn." Alcide patted Justin on the shoulder. "Justin, why don't you get your guitar so we can play some."

Justin turned away from the horse and grinned. "Okie dokie!"

He ran off, and I watched him go with a smile on my lips. I felt Alcide's hand on my shoulder and turned my head to see him looking at me with a softness in his eyes. Unsure, I stared back, licking my lips nervously. Those green eyes followed my tongue and the heat curled in my belly.

I swallowed hard. "Alcide..."

"You can stop me if you want," Alcide murmured as he lowered his lips to mine.

"Do-" His lips covered mine before I could tell him not to. The warmth of his lips stole my breath, and all ability to think clearly. I flattened my hand against his shoulder, then dug my fingers into his shirt, pulling him closer. His mouth was hot and hungry against mine, and I twined my arms around his neck to pull him closer. His hands slid down my back to grip my ass, lifting me up.

Alcide turned us and pressed me against the wall, his body pressed solidly against mine. The heat that had pooled in my belly spread through out my body and I moaned at the sensation of his body against mine. One of his hands slid up my neck, pulling my hair loose and tangling in the locks. This was what I wanted, what I craved. Only Alcide had the power to make me feel like this.

His teeth nipped at my lower lip and I felt everything in me weaken. I tightened my hold on him, pressed tighter against him. My hips arched, rubbing up against his erection. Alcide growled against my mouth and pulled back towards an empty stall. A part of me wanted to go with him. I knew exactly what he could do to me, and I wanted it.

But, that small part of me that remained distant shouted at me. Justin was just inside the house. He could come back out at any moment. As much as I wanted to sleep with Alcide, I couldn't allow my lust to override my common sense. A tumble in the hay would be a mistake.

I smoothed my hands over his chest as he stopped to fumble with the latch to the stall door. His lips left mine as he cursed, and I took that moment to push away from him. My lips were swollen from the fevered kisses and I'm sure my hair was a mess. My breath came out in short pants as I tried to regain my sense of balance.

"Alcide, stop," I whispered when he reached for me again.

He hesitated, his hand hovering there between us. Confusion replaced the lust in his eyes. "Sookie, you want this too."

"I might," I agreed, smoothing my hair down. "But not like this. Not now."

"Then when?" Alcide demanded.

"I don't know when but it won't be a fuck in a stall with our son just feet away inside your house. What if he had come out and saw us?" I buried my head in my hands. "God, that was so stupid."

"Like he hasn't seen you kiss someone before. I doubt it will scar him. Or is it just me you don't want to be seen kissing?" Alcide asked in a hot tone.

I glared at him, a scathing comment on my lips. But I hesitated. Alcide had no idea whether or not I went around dating men. He had no clue as to what my life was really like. I couldn't hold his temper against him. I wouldn't.

Instead of snapping his head off, I bundled my hair back up in a pony tail and picked up my bag. "That really isn't the point, Alcide. I said I wasn't going to do this and I won't. I'm leaving. I'll be back later to pick up Justin. If you and Quinn decide to come tonight, just come on by. We'll be there. Bye."

I hurried out of the barn, not giving him time to respond. As I made my way back to my vehicle, tears stung my eyes. I couldn't believe that Alcide would think that I'd be so easy with my affections. Not when I had a child. He should know that since I have a small impressionable child I wouldn't go around making out with men at random. It made me wonder just what he had been doing in the past five years. Had he been as celibate as I had? I really didn't want to know the answer.

Justin came out on the porch as I climbed into the SUV. I waved and blew him a kiss as Alcide joined him. My last image as I pulled out of the drive way was Justin standing on the porch, small guitar in one hand, and Alcide's hand on his shoulder. I decided then and there that Justin staying over at Holly's was a good thing. I was so confused about everything that I just needed a night to relax. Of course, inviting Alcide over wasn't a solution to relaxing, but that is why tequila was invented.

**Author's Notes: Anyone else get a feeling of dread when tequila is mentioned? Or is that just me? Next chapter will be a fun one! Hope you enjoyed this one and I am sorry it took me so long to write. Leave a review and let me know what you think.**


	19. Friends In Low Places

**Author's Notes: I am a horrible person and deserve to be flogged. That is all. Also, thanks to scribeninja for beta skills. She is WIN! On with the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SVM or the characters. **

**It's Your Song**

**Chapter Nineteen**

_Cause I've got friends in low places, where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away._

~Friends In Low Places by Garth Brooks

**APOV**

I shot a glare towards Quinn when I heard what suspiciously sounded like a snicker come from his direction. I should have known better than to let him know about Sookie's invite for tonight. He hadn't stopped bugging me about going. Were we going? Why weren't we? Where were my balls? What was I wearing? When were we leaving? It was like having a child around, only Justin wasn't so annoying.

I paced the length of the living room again, trying to decide if I was going to take Sookie up on her invitation. She had meant it, but I wondered if I would be welcomed there. I could go, but I would be an outsider. Of all those who Sookie said would be there, I only knew Sookie, Jason, and Tara. The others would be virtual strangers to me and Quinn. Normally that wouldn't bother me, but I kept remembering that moment in the barn with Sookie.

The heat had burned in her eyes, and I knew then that she still wanted me. It was in the way she had kissed me and held me close. Whatever had happened between us, the heat was still there. The kiss in the stadium at my concert had suggested it and the kiss in the barn confirmed it. No matter how many hurts and lies there were between us, the heat would never go away. Now I just didn't know if I could go to her house and pretend that I didn't know how much she wanted me, and ignore how much I wanted her.

And if Quinn would just stop his heckling I could I figure out just what in the hell I was going to do. I was tempted to go and get a guitar and use it to beat him into silence. When he snickered again, I turned and glared at him. "You know, this would be a lot easier if you would shut your mouth and let me think."

"What is there to think about, Alcide? We are going."

"I haven't decided that yet."

"Bullshit," he said with a snort. "All this posturing is just for show. We both know that we'll get in the truck and head over to Sookie's. Wild horses wouldn't keep you away, not when she invited you."

"Screw you," I muttered. I couldn't say anything because I knew it was true. We would go. I was just nervous and that pissed me off. I hated being nervous. I could get up on stage in front of thousands of fans and put on a show and never feel nervous. I could stand on a stage during a awards ceremony and sing and not feel nervous. The only time I was nervous was when I was up for an award. But the though of going to Sookie's house, of spending the evening with her and her friends made me more nervous than I had been at my first concert.

I stomped out of the room with the echo of Quinn's laughter chasing after me like a dog after a bone. I stormed up to my room and changed into a pair of jeans and a tank top. I snagged a red and black plaid shirt out of the closet and pulled it on. On my way down the stairs, I rolled up the sleeves and buttoned up the shirt. I ran a hand carelessly through my hair as I grabbed my boots and sat at the bottom of the stairs to put them on.

When I looked up, Quinn was standing there with the truck keys dangling innocently in his hand. "What took you so long?"

"I'd say bite me, but you might get drunk later and actually think I wanted you to bite me," I said as I snagged the keys.

Quinn chuckled as he followed me out of the house and locked the door behind him. We got in the truck and headed out. I stopped at the local liquor store and let Quinn run in and pick up a couple twelve packs. I had no idea what what kind of alcohol was going to be there and it was only polite to bring some. And who didn't like beer?

When Quinn got back we headed for Sookie's. It was just starting to get dark and the sky was fading from the pale blue to the darker blues at night. You could just see the glimmer of stars if you looked hard enough. We were about halfway to Sookie's when Quinn looked over at me. I could feel the weight of his stare and I didn't like it. It was like he was trying to read my mind or figure out the best way to get in my pants. Since Quinn and I came to an understanding about the latter, I knew it was the former.

"What?" I asked when I could stand it no more.

Quinn shrugged. "I was just wondering what got you all in a tizzy before."

I braked when a dog strolled out in the middle of the road. The stupid thing just sat there for several minutes. In that time I looked at Quinn. "In a tizzy? Who says shit like that anymore?"

"Apparently I do. So you gonna tell me?" He eyed the dog. "What a weird dog. Doesn't it know we are in a truck that could eat it for breakfast and have room for more?"

"Obviously not," I replied, and laid on the horn. It was almost amusing to see the way the dog jumped and scampered into the ditch. "And no, I'm not."

"Something happened today, didn't it?" Quinn asked, using that weird ability of his to tell when something had gotten me upset or worked up. "Between you and Sookie when she brought Justin over." He continued to stare at me and I could almost see his mind working. "She also looked at the horses and Justin came back to the house before you did."

"And?" I asked, taking the turn to Sookie's road.

"And I'm curious what happened between you and Sookie in that child free time."

"A little voyeuristic aren't you? I didn't think that you got off on hetero stuff."

"So something did happen."

Shit when was I going to learn to keep my mouth shut around King of Noticing Every Word That Came Out My Mouth? I thought only women had friendships like this, where one person could read the others mind. I shook my head and pulled into Sookie's driveway, driving up to park behind what I knew was Jason's truck. I could see smoke in the backyard and country music was blaring from a stereo. The party was already started.

I parked and twisted in my seat to look at Quinn. He matched my stare, giving me a knowing look. I shook my head. Nothing I could say would dissuade him from pressing the issue but I could get him to stop talking about it tonight.

"Fine, we had a moment. A kiss to be exact. I don't want any comments from the peanut gallery. I have no idea what it meant, only that it happened. I don't know what I'll do about it, or what Sookie thinks about it. Hell, for all I know it could drive her away. I'm not going to press the issue yet. We still have a lot of problems to work through so I would appreciate it if you'd just stop with the third degree tonight. When I know something, you'll know something." I paused for a breath.

Quinn gave me a dry look. "All you had to say was that it was private. You didn't need to go off on a rant."

I laughed, I couldn't help myself. "Yes I did because you never know when to quit. It's an endearing quality, one I actually like most of the time. But right now, no. Just...let's get out, go around back, have a few beers and hang out."

"I brought the guitars," Quinn said with a grin and opened his door. I glanced back in the back seat and sure enough, both our guitar cases were sitting there.

I got out of the truck and got mine out. "Great, we'll play some music. It will be like old times, only you'll be the only gay guy here. Hope you don't feel left out."

"Can't happen because I know at the end of the night I'll be going home with you instead of going home with you," Quinn said with a quick laugh, slamming the back door on his side.

I slammed the door and muttered too softly for him to hear. "Don't count on it buddy."

We made our way to the backyard where we could hear voices. Jason met us halfway there. He clapped us both on the shoulder with a reckless abandon that told me he had already tossed back a few and was feeling buzzed. "Glad you could make it. Sookie wasn't sure if you would."

His words were slightly slurred so I upgraded the buzzed to slightly drunk. Quinn tossed an arm around Jason's shoulders as if he had known the man forever. "Of course we came. Alcide just had to find his balls. He misplaced them."

Jason, the traitor, laughed and grinned at me. "Sookie always had that effect on him."

"Watch it Stackhouse, or I'll forget that I'm an upstanding country star and pound you to the ground."

"Go ahead," Jason offered. "No one here will tell on you."

"Be like old times," I said a little wistfully, thinking of the days where Jason and I pounded on each other just for fun. I had forgotten how much fun it was to be around Jason. Once we had gotten past the part where Jason hated my guts for dating his little sister, we had been good friends, even though he was two years older than me.

"Even better than old times because we have booze," Jason said with a drunk smile.

"Bring on the booze," I joked. I wasn't really kidding. I didn't drink much. I knew a lot of artists who drank, and it either ruined their career or made it. I wasn't willing to roll the dice on which way it would fall for me. But I did enjoy a drink every now and again and I think with all the crap I'd been through lately, a good night of getting drunk would do me good.

Jason led us to the backyard where they had the bonfire going. A picnic table was loaded down with snack foods, from chips to cookies and everything in between. Another table was set up and I swear that every alcoholic beverage known to man was there. I saw bottles of whiskey, of rum, of gin, and tequila. A cooler held beer. Jason took the six packs from Quinn and stashed them into the cooler.

I eyed the booze, and eyed Jason. "Just how much of that have you drank, man?"

"Not nearly enough," Jason said sourly. Quinn and I just stared at him and he shook his head. "Don't worry. Just drowning out some of my problems."

"Must be a woman," Quinn said with a suffering tone.

"Must be," Jason agreed. He snagged two beers and offered them to us.

I took mine and turned to see who was gathered around the fire. Lawn chairs were set up. Amelia was cozied up to her boyfriend Tray, some fruity looking drink in her hand. I saw Tara and waved a hand in recognition. She was holding hands with someone I didn't know. I saw Crystal, Jason's wife, sitting off by herself with a sulky look on her face as she tossed back shots of something. I was surprised to was see Sam Merlotte there. I didn't think he was that close to Sookie, but there she was, sharing a chair with him, a glass of something in her hand.

I felt a surge of jealously. Sookie and Sam? No way, not even possible. I would have known, would have heard. Besides, he was too old for her. Much too old. Never mind the fact that he was just a few years older than me and her.

I banked the jealously when Tara hopped up and came over to give me a big hug. Tara had been Sookie's best friend all through out school and I had been good friends with her as well. It was nice to see her again, and I have her a big hug in return.

"Alcide! It's so good to see you! I knew you were back but I haven't had the chance to come over and welcome you home. How you doing, big shot?" She pulled back to give me a big grin.

"Better since I got the beer." I grabbed her hand to hold it up to admire the small diamond ring. "Sookie mentioned you got married."

"Yeah, Franklin is my husband. I met him in Jackson, Mississippi when I went on a supply run for my boutique. It was love at first sight." She sighed over the ring and gave who I assumed was Franklin as doe eyed look, leading me to believe they hadn't been married long.

"Well congratulations!" I said, even though I wasn't looking at her.

No, my eyes were on Sookie who had gotten up from the seat she was sharing with Sam and headed over to us. Her eyes were bright and sparkled in the firelight. The glass in her hand was empty. Quinn walked over to meet her and she gave him a warm hug. He shot me a smug look over his shoulder, to which I responded with the finger. Not at all mature, but neither was he.

Sookie kept one arm around his waist as they walked over to us. "Glad to see you came."

"We brought some beer and our guitars. We can sing for our supper," I said with a grin.

She laughed and the sound sent tingles racing through my body. "We'd love that. We got some burgers and hot dogs and whatnot if you guys are hungry."

"I think I'll just go talk to Amelia and Tray," Quinn said.

Tara looked between Sookie and I and hummed to herself. "I'm going back to Franklin. Wouldn't want him to miss me."

Jason was already gone and it was just me and Sookie. I stared at her and she looked away. I hated that there was this barrier between us. Maybe I shouldn't have kissed her in the barn. Things had been going okay between us before then. A little tense, but that was to be expected. Now it was like a giant wall was up between us.

Someone had to make the first move and from the way Sookie was looking nervous, it was going to be her. It was up to me to start chipping away at the wall. I stepped over to the food station and made myself a burger. I looked over my shoulder to see Sookie watching me. "So how often do you guys do stuff like this?"

The innocent question seemed to relax her and she joined me, pulling a beer from the cooler between the food and drink tables. She twisted the top off and took a sip before answering me. "Oh, not that often. We will probably have more this summer now that Justin is older. I was never confident enough to have them when he was younger. I was always afraid that he'd step to close to the fire and trip and fall into it or something. Now he understands more to stay away from fire, so we may do it a couple times a month."

"Sounds like a good idea to me. Fire, food, alcohol, good friends. It's a combination you can't go wrong with."

She laughed. "It really isn't. Sounds like a song."

I wiggled my eyebrows at her. "You never know, I might write one."

"You'd really do that?"

"It is my belief that every country star needs to have a summer song. I haven't gotten one so maybe it's time I did," I said before raising my burger up to my lips for a bite.

It was delicious, so delicious in fact that it managed to take my mind off Sookie and how things stood between us. For the moment. It also made me realize that I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast. The episode with Sookie in the barn had robbed me of my appetite and even though I had fed Justin before Sookie picked him up, I hadn't eaten a thing. Now I was starving, and I focused on eating. I planned on getting drunk, and drinking on an empty stomach was never a good idea. I knew from personal experience.

Sookie stood there watching me eat, with a touch of amusement on her face. When I arched a brow in question, she shook her head. "I thought Justin inherited his big appetite from the Stackhouses, but I had forgotten how much you could eat."

Since I was on my third burger by then, there wasn't much I could say to that. So I shrugged. "There's a lot you've forgotten about me."

Maybe that wasn't the right thing to say because she got real quiet for a minute. Then she just shook her head. "Yeah I guess I did. It's a wonder what the years will do to a person."

"They haven't seemed to touch you. You're still beautiful." The words just slipped out without meaning to. It was like I had no control over what came out of my mouth.

"Alcide, don't," Sookie pleaded softly, shooting looks at bonfire to see if anyone else had heard. Or was she checking to see if Sam had heard?

It burned my guts to think that she was involved with someone else. Never mind the fact that I knew she wouldn't kiss me if she was involved with someone. It was just the thought of someone else touching her, kissing her, making love to her that sent my jealously into overdrive. I finished off my burger and tossed my plate.

"Don't worry, no one heard. I'll just get a beer and go sit with Quinn. I won't bother you," I said between gritted teeth. And I suited action to words, got the beer and headed over to join Quinn, Amelia, and Tray. I could feel her eyes following me and it took all the control I had not to turn around and snatch Sookie up, toss her over my shoulder, and carry her off to have a long overdue conversation. Common sense prevailed and I took a seat next to Quinn and tipped back my beer and joined the conversation.

Three beers later and in the middle of Quinn telling Amelia and Tray how we had met, Jason joined us. He nudged me with an elbow. "You two bring those guitars to look pretty or are ya'll going to play?"

His words were more slurred and I glanced around to see that Crystal had disappeared. I didn't even notice her leaving. I wondered how much of Jason's drinking was because he wanted to drink or because his wife had left. I decided that was a question better left for another time. I'd eventually learn the story behind the two of them, this just wasn't the place.

So I elbowed him back. "Of course we'll play but you might be too drunk to appreciate the fine music."

He gave me one of those reckless Stackhouse grins and said, "Maybe I am, but then, you'd have to play fine music for me to appreciate it."

That elected some hoots and hollers from the peanut gallery. With my professional reputation in question, I got up and fetched my guitar. Quinn joined me as I sat on one of the lawn chairs and pulled it out. It took a few minutes to make sure they were tuned properly and then I turned to give Jason my own wicked grin as I strummed the opening chords to Friends In Low Places.

Everyone clapped and yelled as Quinn and I played and sang. We varied our songs, playing several Garth songs, some George Strait, some of my own. The sky darkened and the stars twinkled overhead as we sang, everyone joining in when they knew the words.

Sitting there around the bonfire, surrounded by old friends and new, I realized something. It was the single most fun night I'd had in five years. Sure, I spent most of my time traveling and playing concerts, singing nightly. But none of that compared to the small intimacy ofas backyard bonfire with those you cared about. The warmth and joy I felt was the reason I played music to begin with. I started out like this, playing for family and friends, and I realized that I had missed that. My fans are great and I loved them for their support, but most of the people here were the ones who encouraged me to chase down that dream of playing on the big stage. In a way, playing here tonight was a thank you. Because without them, I wouldn't be where I was today. Even Sookie had her part, as much as it hurt to think about.

Sookie. I rested my fingers for a moment and looked at her. She was curled up next to Jason, her head resting on his shoulder as she nursed a beer. Her eyes seemed bluer in the fire light and from the way the flames danced, I couldn't really tell if she was looking at me or Quinn. I had my answer when she shifted and met my gaze. Electricity shot between us. It felt so physical that I was surprised when I didn't see the spark.

Something shifted inside me then, seeing her like that. All the hate I carried around since Justin seemed to melt away. It suddenly didn't matter that she had kept him from me, I could even understand why. I didn't have to like it, I just had to live with it. Nothing could change the past and perhaps that was a good thing. We'd have both given up so much if she had told me when she found out she was pregnant. Not just me, but she'd have lost something to. I cold forgive her for it, at least I believed I could. I wanted to. I wanted all of that to be gone so that we could go forward.

I set my guitar aside, shaken by the epiphany I was having. I rose, a bit unsteady since I had had my fair share of tequila shots. It took a moment for me to focus, and then I made my way to the house, to use the bathroom. I could hear Jason complaining about the music stopping and had to grin when Quinn started playing a fast paced Garth song.

The house was quiet compared to the noise outside. I used the bathroom quickly but instead of going outside I just sat at the kitchen table and stared out the window over the sink. For the first time since I came back to Bon Temps, I felt a little at peace. I knew what I was going to do, and I knew it would be a challenge. I might be ready to start forgiving Sookie, but I wasn't sure if she was ready to forgive me. Which seemed silly, that she should forgive me, when she was the one who had been in the wrong, but I had left her...twice.

My mind was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't notice when the screen door opened and Sookie walked in. I jerked at the squeaky sound of the hinge and Sookie froze in the door way, eyes wide. We stared at each other for several long minutes and it was Sookie who broke the silence.

"I just came to make sure you were okay."

I blinked at the concern I heard. My lips tilted up in a smile. "I'm fine, just had to use the bathroom. Then I thought I'd take a moment before I go back out. Tequila makes it hard to walk."

She laughed and joined me at the table. "Makes it hard to think too." She shifted so that she was looking at me. "You know, you looked really happy out there."

"I was. I've missed playing for fun. So much of the time it's work. It's still fun, don't get me wrong, but it's work. Especially when you are on stage during a concert, you don't want to screw up. But tonight? Hell I could have fucked up half the words and not one person out there would have given a damn. It was...refreshing."

"I've missed hearing you play like that. It reminded me of the nights at Merlotte's when you'd play," Sookie said softly.

"No more smoky bars for me," I said with a chuckle.

"You've earned it, all of it. You are so talented that you deserve to have your name up in lights," Sookie said suddenly. "I didn't realize it when we were eighteen, but I did after Gran died. You didn't have to come back, but you did. That night...it helped so much, even though I was still so pissed you left after graduation. So I left and a small part of me wishes I hadn't. But it had to happen. You'd have never written that song and never gotten a record deal if I hadn't left." She paused and released a breath. "Just like I had to keep Justin from you so you could go be famous and live that dream. I was so selfish when we were kids, I just assumed that you'd follow me. I knew what I was going to do, I knew that I could make my dream come to life. But you? You weren't and you had to do it on your own. Then you had your dream, it was all coming to life for you. I couldn't take that away from you, it just wasn't right."

"It wasn't right for you to keep my son from me either but you did that," I said slowly, my brain struggling to catch up with the sudden shift in conversation. I guess we were going to have the big conversation now.

"No, it wasn't and if I could do it again, I'd tell you. But I can't. We can't go back and we have to deal with the here and the now."

It was funny how her words were echoing my own thoughts. "So what do we do?"

She looked away and shook her head. "I'm not real sure. I want Justin to know that you are his father, and I want you two to have the relationship you both need and deserve. I just don't want you to hate me anymore, Alcide. I can't stand it. It's awful, I didn't think it would be this hard."

"So, what?" I demanded. "You thought that I'd just forgive you because I loved you once?"

"Yes," she answered in a small voice. "That or you just wouldn't care about Justin."

I just stared at her and she flushed. Maybe I had been wrong at thinking I couldn't hate Sookie anymore. She was certainly doing her best to see that I did. "How could you ever think that?"

"Well, how was I to know how much you changed over the years? No one is the same after five years. I'm not the same person."

"No, I'm not the same person I was then. But, hell, Sookie, you should have known that I would never turn my back on my son. It's just so insulting that you'd even think that."

"I'm a mother, Alcide. I was scared that you'd not care, and Justin would get hurt."

"Oh I see, you were just protecting Justin?" I couldn't keep the anger and hurt out of my voice.

"In part. I was also protecting myself. And you can see how well that is working out."

I narrowed my eyes. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"What do you think it means? It's you Alcide. I have no shield against you. I can't even think straight when you are around. You just scramble everything up. I don't want Justin hurt and I don't want to hurt again. I can't handle that again."

Her voice shook and tears shimmered in her eyes. I didn't know what to think. On one hand I was still pissed that she'd think I wouldn't care about my son. On the other, I could almost see where she was coming from because it was the same for me. Sookie would always be the one person who could crash through whatever walls I put up. There was just no keeping her out.

"You, Sookie Stackhouse, are very stupid," I growled. She stared at me in shock and I got up. She squeaked when I jerked her up and against me. "I would never turn my back on whats mine. And that includes you."

She opened her mouth to say something and I pressed my lips to hers. I was done talking. If my words couldn't convince her... well, there were other ways. She fought at first, but it only lasted seconds. Then she was wrapping her arms around my neck, those nimble fingers tangling in my hair as she strained to deepen the kiss.

My hands slid down her back and over her ass, stroking and squeezing. She moaned when I moved my hands to grip the back of her thighs. With ease, I lifted her up and set her on the edge of the counter. Her legs wrapped around me and we were pressed together as we did our best to devour each other. I thrust against her, feeling her heat through the shorts she wore. I cursed the clothes that stood between us. I had forgotten about everyone else outside, I had forgotten that we were in the middle of the kitchen where anyone could walk in on us.

All I could think is that I finally had Sookie again. Her hands scrambled against the material of my shirt, jerking it up so that she could rake her nails down my back. I growled, tugging her shirt up so that I could get my hands on her breasts. Her head fell back when my hand closed around one breast, fingers finding and teasing the hardening nipple. I kissed my way down her throat, tongue stroking the soft vulnerable flesh I found.

Her breath came out hot and heavy as she moved against me. I nipped at her shoulder and slipped my other hand between us. She was wearing thin cotton shorts and it was easy to ease my hand beneath the waistband. My fingers slid against the soft satin of her panties and I pulled them down with agnonizing slowness, taunting us both with the way my fingertips brushed against her skin. She cried out when my fingers found her slick folds and parted them. She was so hot and wet that I went from highly aroused to painfully aroused. Sookie gasped my name as I flicked my finger over her clit.

She was trembling and clinging to me as I teased her, drawing out each moment. I was as hard as a rock, but ignored it. I could always take care of it later. Right now I wanted to make her scream my name. I wanted to make her remember what I could make her feel.

I pulled back to watch her, and her eyes went blank with pleasure as I slid two fingers inside her. Her nails dug into my back as her inner walls clamped around my fingers. I pumped them in and out, nibbling my way down her neck. I could feel the orgasm building in her, her mewling sounds grew more high pitched with each stroke.

"Oh god, don't stop. Don't. Don't," she chanted in pants, arching her hips, spreading her legs wider.

Sookie clung to me with one hand while the other moved between us. I made a strangled sound when her fingers stroked my cock through my jeans. I rocked my hips and she laughed. It trailed off into a deep throaty moan when I curled my fingers, finding her G-spot and flicking it once...twice. She came with a sob and shuddered against me. Her head came to rest on my shoulder, and I was sure I had done her in. I slid my hand out from under her shorts and panties and wrapped my arms around her, chest heaving.

She was just starting to get her breath back and her fingers were tracing circles over my chest, moving lower slowly, when the back door opened and sound flooded in. Sookie jerked and shoved against me. I simply held her tighter and turned my head to give Amelia a lazy, somewhat smug look.

Amelia froze and looked from me to Sookie, who was red in the face and trying to push me away. She covered her mouth, probably to hide a grin from Sookie and said, "Oops. I'll just leave you two alone."

The door closed behind her, but not before I heard her snicker. I was grinning when I looked down to see Sookie's furious face. A second later her fist plowed into my stomach. I grunted and stepped back. "What was that for?"

"What do you think?" she hissed under her breath as she hurriedly straightened her clothes and slid off the counter. "Why didn't you move?"

"I didn't think I had to," I said slowly, trying not to let the quick flare of anger I felt show. "It wasn't like she walked in on us."

"She might as well. Anyone could have walked in and we were..." Sookie shook her head as she trailed off. "So freaking stupid. What was I thinking?"

"I'd say you were and honestly, it felt pretty damn good. You think too much, Sookie."

Her eyes snapped to mine and unlike me, Sookie made no effort to conceal her anger. It should have been off putting, but instead it just aroused me more. I shifted in an attempt to ease the ache I was feeling.

"Apparently I'm not thinking enough tonight. Too much tequila."

Now I let my temper show. "Don't you fucking dare blame that on the tequila. We both know it wasn't."

"No, I don't know that. I do know that if I was sober I wouldn't have let you-"

"Let me what? Touch you? You say you don't want me to hate you, but dammit Sookie, you are making that very hard on me. Don't brush what happened aside because you are having regrets. You aren't that drunk. What happened, happened and if Amelia hadn't walked in, more would have. We both know that."

"It would have been a mistake," Sookie said softly.

I stared at her and shook my head. "Maybe to you, but not to me."

"Alcide."

"Don't. Just...don't. I'm going back out. You decide what you want and let me know. But I won't wait for long." I turned and walked out of the house, leaving Sookie staring after me. I ignored the curious looks I was getting from everyone else and went back to my seat by the fire. I picked up my guitar and strummed, struggling to bank the anger I was feeling. No one said anything, not even when Sookie came out and grabbed the bottle of tequila and went back inside.

I watched her and saw the light to her bedroom come on. So she had decided to ignore what happened and just get drunker. Funny, I never considered Sookie a coward but that was exactly what she was. Maybe I had been wrong about her all along.

"You going to go after and stop her from making a mistake?" Amelia asked as she crouched next to me.

I shifted my gaze to her. "According to her, she already made a mistake."

"She's confused."

"Doesn't seem to be."

"You'd be surprised at what she doesn't show. I don't know what happened between you and I don't want to know, but what I do know is that drowning her problems in tequila isn't her thing. So whatever happened must have affected her pretty bad."

"Her choice."

"And maybe if you went in there you could change her mind."

"If I went in there," I said with a sigh. "She'd throw something at me and kick me out. I'm not her favorite person right now."

"You never will be if you don't try to fix it," Amelia offered. "Think about it. I think we are all ready to pack it in. If you and Quinn don't feel like driving, you can stay here. Plenty of room. Sam is going to take Tara and Franklin home."

She rose and I set the guitar down to grab her hand. She looked at me and I gave her a weak smile. "Sorry about putting a damper on things."

She smiled back at me and patted my shoulder. "You didn't. We were already getting tired."

She walked off to talk to Sam, Tara, and Franklin. Tray joined her and I got up and headed over to where Quinn was standing and talking with Jason. I clapped both men on the shoulder. Jason wove on his feet and would have fallen if Quinn and I hadn't caught him.

"The Stackhouses know how to drink, I'll give them that much." Quinn grunted as he slung Jason's left arm over his shoulder to take his weight.

I mimicked the action and together the two of us carted Jason inside and dumped him on the couch. Jason just groaned and rolled over. I went into the kitchen and grabbed the wastebasket. Leaving it beside Jason, just in case, I jerked my head at Quinn to follow me into the hallway.

"You feel like driving?" I asked.

Quinn shook his head. "Not really. I got into a drinking contest with Jason while you were inside. I lost but I still feel the effects."

I glanced down the hallway towards Sookie's room. "Then I guess we are crashing here. Amelia and Tray can tell you where you can sleep. I have something to take care of."

Quinn's hand shot out and grabbed my arm as I started towards Sookie's room. I glanced at him and he gave me a hard look. "Don't do anything you'll regret, Alcide."

I shook his arm off and muttered as I walked down the hall. "Too late for that I think."

**Author's Notes: I realize that I am horrible for neglecting this story. But like my other story, I had a bit of a block. But I found my muse and have started writing again. I'm even working on the next chapter. I hope you all enjoyed this one. I have parts plotted out but most of this story is still a mystery to me. Leave a review, let me know what you think.**


	20. This

**Author's Notes: That's right, I've returned. No excuses. Just pure laziness and writer's block. Had to chip away at it and lookie at what we got! A new IYS chapter! Thanks to scribeninja for being an awesome cheerleader and beta. Seriously, my brainmate is the bomb.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SVM or the characters. I just play with them.**

**It's Your Song**

**Chapter Twenty**

_All the doors I had to close, all the things I knew but I didn't know. Thank God for all I missed cause it led here to this._

~This by Darius Rucker

Songbirds suck. There seemed to be a trio of them right outside my bedroom window, caroling the new day. At maximum volume. It was like they were right next to my ear. I groaned as my head throbbed, the results of a night of tequila. When was I going to learn? Tequila did bad things.

A loud piercing noise filled my bedroom and I bit back a shriek. My alarm, it was just my alarm. When I had I set that? Muffling a whimper with my hand, I rolled over to turn off the alarm. I rolled smack into a large, firm, and warm body. What the hell?

I squinted and pushed myself up and my eyes went wide. Alcide was in my bed. Alcide was in my bed, shirtless, and pantless. I blinked to make sure I wasn't seeing things. I wasn't. Oh no. I looked down and saw that I was just wearing my bra and panties. Oh shit.

What the hell had happened last night after I went back into the house with the bottle of tequila? I couldn't think. The alarm was too loud. Licking my dry lips, I leaned over Alcide, holding myself up so I didn't touch him. I smacked the off button on the alarm and scooted as far from the sleeping man in my bed as I could without actually leaving the bed.

Breathing hard, I looked around the room, hoping to see something that would trigger my memory. Alcide's clothes were tossed haphazardly around the room and I could see the shorts I had been wearing the night before dangling from my vanity mirror. Oh shit, that did not look good. The tequila bottle, half gone, sat on my dresser. The door was locked.

Did I sleep with him? No, I couldn't have. If I had slept with Alcide, I would remember. Not to mention, we'd be naked. What would be the point of a drunk fuck if we got dressed afterward? Didn't make sense to me.

Okay, so we didn't fuck, that I was pretty sure of. But how had we gotten half naked and in the same bed? I slid out of bed, trying to be as silent as I could, and padded over to my bathroom and pulled my robe from the hook it hung on. I slipped it on and tied the sash tight around my waist while I thought.

There was a groan from the bed, and I whirled to see Alcide blinking at me. His green eyes were blurry, and his hair was wild. The man had the best bed hair ever. He propped himself up and cradled his head in one hand. Glad to know I wasn't the only one with a hangover from hell.

It was as if seeing him suffering triggered my own. My head throbbed in time with my heartbeat. My stomach rolled like I was going to be sick. I turned from him and stumbled into the bathroom. I got myself a glass of water and fumbled with the aspirin bottle that sat on the sink. Popping four pills into my mouth, I drained the glass of water. It wasn't an instant cure, but it did help.

"Sookie," Alcide groaned in a gravely voice, "I will dedicate my next album to you if you'll have mercy and bring me aspirin."

I smiled despite of the situation. He sounded worse off than me. I had a flash of memory. We were screaming at each other and I had the bottle of tequila in my hand. For every swig from the bottle I took, Alcide matched it. He met me shot for shot and then some. So it was no wonder he felt worse than me.

So that explained how the tequila bottle got to be half empty. Now if I could only remember what we had been screaming about and how we went from screaming to being practically naked in bed together, I'd be good.

I shook out six pills and carried them and a glass of water to Alcide. He took them from me and tossed them back. Then he fell back against the pillow and stared at me with bloodshot eyes. I was unsure of what to do, after all it isn't every day that an ex you still love ends up in your bed, so I asked lightly, "Tell me, do I look as bad as you do?"

"Since I have no idea what I look like, I can't comment. But I doubt it. I drank way more than you," he said without looking away from me.

"Yeah...sorry about that," I whispered, shifting as I felt his eyes travel down the length of my body. My robe, violet silk, covered most of my body, but it still felt like he could see through it. "Um, listen, about last night..."

"We didn't have sex, Sookie," Alcide said, cutting me off.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, wincing as my fingers caught on tangles. "Yeah, I know that."

"Then there is nothing to worry about."

"Sure," I drawled sarcastically. "I just have vague memories of screaming at you and absolutely no memory of how we ended up in bed together."

"We ended up in bed because we drank ourselves stupid and passed out," Alcide explained slowly as he rubbed his yes.

"In our underwear?" I asked skeptically, raising a brow. "And how do you remember when I barely can?"

His lips quirked and despite the messy hair and bloodshot eyes, he looked hot. Maybe it was because he was in my bed and in his boxers, I could see every inch of his sculpted flesh. Damn, the man had put on some muscles. My fingers twitched with the urge to touch him.

"Well, Sookie, we stripped down because you got hot and insisted if you were going to be half naked, so should I. And when a beautiful woman insists on me stripping, I'm not going to say no." Alcide looked like he was trying hard not to laugh.

I crossed my arms and glared at him. I racked my brains trying to remember that particular moment. Oh yeah. I felt my cheeks burn as I remembered.

_The tequila, along with the warm temperature of a typical Louisiana night, warmed by body. Even with the window open it was stifling. I reached down and tugged my shirt up over my head. Alcide let out a sound that was between a yelp and a groan. _

_ "Sookie, what the hell?" he demanded. _

_ I tossed my shirt to the side and put my hands on my hips and pouted. "I'm hot."_

_ "So turn on a damn fan. You can't just strip," he snapped._

_ Even though he tried to sound stern, I noticed a catch in his voice, and the way his eyes lingered on my chest. I grinned and pointed to the door. "It's my room, I can strip if I want to. If you don't like it, then leave."_

_ "Don't like it?" he groaned, and raked a hand through his hair. "That isn't the problem."_

_ "Then what is?"_

_ "Oh you know what the damn problem is."_

_ My hands went to the waist band of my shorts. "Not really."_

_ "Sookie..." Alcide warned._

_ I pushed my shorts down and wiggled out of them. I met his eyes and licked my lips when I saw the heat in them. My shorts dangled from my hand. "Yes?"_

_ "I don't know if you are doing this because you're drunk or just to torture me."_

_ "I'm hot. The torture is just a side benefit." I tossed my shorts aside, not noticing where they landed. Heat curled in my stomach as Alcide gazed at me. His hands were fists at his side and I could sense his struggle. Raising my arms above my head, I stretched with a satisfied moan. When I heard the low growl from him, I lowered my arms and fluttered my eyes at him innocently. "If it makes you feel better, you can strip. After all, it would only be fair."_

_ Alcide's eyes flew back to my face. I arched a brow in challenge. Then before I could blink, he had his shirt off and was pushing his jeans down his legs. I watched him, swallowing hard as every hard inch of him was revealed. Kicking his clothes aside and standing there in his boxers, he asked, "Happy?"_

_ I could only nod. "Oh yeah, baby."_

"Right...I remember that," I muttered.

He laughed this time. "I didn't realize your face could turn that shade of red."

I pressed my hands to my cheeks. "Shut up. It's not a moment I'm proud of."

"Admit it," he teased, fully enjoying my discomfort. "You just wanted to see me naked."

"You aren't naked," I pointed out as I tried to control my blush. "And I did not."

I so did. I enjoyed the view last night and I was still enjoying it now. Alcide could not be aware of how much he was affecting me. Physical attraction had never been a problem between us. It was taking all my control not to throw myself at him. Especially when I remembered what happened between us in the kitchen. Oh god, I was wet just thinking about it.

As if he knew what I was thinking, Alcide held a hand out to me. "Come back to bed, Sookie. It's too early to be up."

I shook my head. "No way. I'm not getting back into bed with you."

Hurt flashed in his eyes before he could conceal it. I bit my lip. It had come out harsher than I had intended. He tossed the sheet aside and moved to get out of bed. "Sorry, I'll just get dressed and leave you alone. You should get some more sleep."

"No, wait. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to be so harsh," I said, holding up a hand to stop him. I moved to the bed and sat down on the edge next to him, being careful not to touch him. "I'm still trying to remember what happened last night." I turned my head to look at him. "I remember fighting, but not what about."

"Oh," Alcide said quietly, leaning back against the headboard. "You were pissed about what happened in the kitchen."

"Ah," I said. I closed my eyes and tried to will myself to remember the fight.

_I slammed into my room and almost tore the lid off the bottle of tequila I had grabbed. I tipped it back and took two big swallows. I knew that drinking wouldn't help, but I didn't care. I just wanted to stew in my own anger. I had said some pretty bad things to Alcide, things I hadn't meant. I was just so shaken up by what happened in the kitchen._

_ I knew eventually we'd get involved. I just wasn't expecting it to happen like that. It seemed like I craved him. My body remembered how it felt to have his hands on me. It was like riding a bike, you never really forget. I was every bit as responsible as he was for what happened, I was just so ashamed by my reaction. It was like he had flipped a switch. Even now I wanted more. All these feelings and desires were welling up, and I had no defense against them._

_ I was so screwed up. Nothing was going the way I had planned. I had told myself I wouldn't let anything happen between us until we sorted out exactly what we felt for each other and we talked to Justin. As much as I wanted to be involved with Alcide, I couldn't do it until Justin was told that Alcide was his father. And then I went and let him...ugh. I swallowed more tequila._

_ My door swung open and I turned slowly to see Alcide fill up the doorway. "What the fuck do you want?"_

_ "That's a nice greeting."_

_ "Wasn't supposed to be nice," I muttered, and lifted the tequila to my mouth._

_ I never got that drink. Alcide reached over and plucked the bottle from my hand and took a swig himself. I glared at him. "Excuse me?"_

_ "What? You took the tequila. I wanted some." He took another drink and passed it back to me._

_ I narrowed my eyes at him. "Get your own. Get out of my room. Go to hell."_

_ "No. No. No," he replied calmly. "You are not going to drink that by yourself."_

_ "Who made you the boss of me? The last time I checked I was a grown woman and capable of making decisions for myself."_

_ "I refuse to let you drink yourself into the hospital because you are pissed at me."_

_ "Oh please, like the world revolves around you," I said scathingly._

_ He yanked the bottle from me and drank from it before looking at me. "When you storm away because of what happened with me, then yeah, I think it's because of me. I thought you were a grown woman. Don't be stupid."_

_ "I'll be stupid if I want to, Alcide. You aren't a part of my life, remember?"_

_ "Yeah, and whose to blame for that?"_

_ "YOU!" I screamed. "You left me, remember?"_

_ "Once!" he roared back at me. "I left once! I was young and stupid and I regret that decision every day of my life. Stop throwing it back in my face, Sookie, especially considering what you did!"_

_ I glared at him. "I told you why I kept Justin from you. You are the bastard who had to put your hands on me! You are ruining everything, Alcide. You never should have come here! Why do you have to screw it all up? We were happy!"_

_ "The hell you were," he snarled. "Do you think that I don't know you? You want me as much as I want you. You need me too."_

_ I grabbed the tequila and tilted it back. When I lowered it, I gave him a cold stare. "What makes you think I need you, Alcide?"_

_ He moved closer to me, leaning down so he was staring me in the eyes. "Because if you didn't need me, you would have settled down with someone."_

_ "Maybe I just don't want a man in my life, ever think of that? Maybe I don't feel like getting my heart broken again. You did a good enough job the first time that I'm not interested in going through it again."_

_ "Bullshit and fuck you, Sookie," he growled, and turned from me. His hands raked through his hair in frustration. "You act like you are the only one who had a broken heart. I never fucking got over you."_

_ I opened my mouth, and closed it quickly at his admission. I wasn't expecting that. "I...what?"_

_ Alcide turned back around, looking completely defeated. "I have to say it again? Fine. I never got over you. Not since we broke up in high school. I was ready to stay here with you after Gran's funeral. I couldn't live without you. But you left. And I wasn't about to go chasing after you. So I left and I moved on, but I never got over you. Happy now?"_

_ "Alcide," I said softly..._

I blinked back tears, and looked away. Was there more? I had flashes of some kisses, then the whole getting undressed. Falling into bed, arms wrapped around him. His lips on mine. Long, lazy kisses and teasing touches. Feeling him against my back as we fell asleep. The sense of security I had felt when his arm wrapped around me.

Alcide had admitted that he never got over me. But did that mean he still loved me? He never came out and said it. I remembered admitting that I had missed him, but I didn't say I loved him. Thank god for that.

I jumped when I felt his hand on my shoulder. His voice was soft but I couldn't bring myself to look at him. "Sookie, what we said last night, it doesn't matter. We were drunk..."

"That's not an excuse. Besides, people are always more truthful when they are drunk," I said slowly. I swallowed hard and looked at him. There was warmth and compassion in his eyes, a call so strong that I turned and stretched out beside him, letting my head rest on his shoulder. His arm wrapped around me, holding me close. I sniffed. "What are we going to do?"

I felt him shrug. "I'm not sure."

"Where do we stand?" I asked.

"Again, I don't know. Sookie..."

"We have to tell Justin that you are his father," I said, cutting him off. I had no clue where Alcide and I would go as a couple. That was still in the air and I guess I'd have to wait and see. We might have confessed some dark secrets last night but neither one of us was willing to admit to more. And if we ever got to that point, I wanted to be sure we were ready for it. And before any of that could happen, Justin needed to know the truth.

I felt Alcide stiffen. It was obvious I had caught him by surprise. I'm sure he never expected me to be the one to say that. I tilted by head back to look at him and was surprised to find tears in his eyes. I could count on one hand the number of times I'd seen Alcide on the verge of tears. I didn't realize until then just how hard it had been for him not to say anything to Justin. I felt even more horrible about keeping son and father from each other.

I reached up and cupped his cheek. I had one chance to make this right and I wasn't going to screw it up. "I mean it. I'm not sure what we will be or even if that's a good thing. But I do know that Justin deserves to know just who you are. And, if we are going to be anything, well he needs to know first." I swallowed, and licked my lips when he lifted his hand to cover mine. "It would be so easy to just jump into bed with you. We both know it will happen eventually. And before it does, Justin needs to know the truth. He comes first."

"Sookie," Alcide said, his eyes softening as he searched for the words. His hand tightened over mine. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me for something I should have done from the start." I pulled my hand away and pushed myself up on one elbow to look down at him. "I'm picking him up this afternoon from Holly's. If you like, we can tell him then."

He raised his hand and brushed his thumb over my lips and I shivered., fighting the urge to lick my lips. He smiled as if he knew what I was thinking. "I like that plan."

I sucked in a breath when his fingers traveled down my neck and shoulders. My body felt like it had been set on fire. Every nerve jumped and twitched as his hand stroked my arm. It felt like everything was vibrating. The urge to throw myself on him was almost too much. I released the breath and pulled away from him. "We should, ah, get up or something."

"We should go back to sleep," Alcide said, grinning at my reaction.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "It would just be sleeping. I was serious about not getting physical until we tell Justin. I don't-"

"I know and I meant just sleeping," Alcide said, covering my mouth with his hand and cutting me off. "As much as I'd like to make love to you, it isn't the right time."

Heat curled in my stomach at his frank words. I sucked in a breath and nodded. "I agree."

"Just go to sleep, Sookie," Alcide murmured sleepily.

His arm curled around my waist and pulled me down against him. I tensed and thought about fighting, but being in his arms felt right. The way he shifted and curled his body around me gave me a sense of comfort and protection. I was safe in his arms. That was one thing I never had. Sex sure, but not being cuddled until I fell asleep.

Alcide and I had a sexual relationship back in high school. The first time had been the first for both of us, two fumbling teenagers in the bed of his old pick up. It had been slightly bittersweet but touching at the same time. Once we had gotten past that awkward stage, we'd gone at it like bunnies every time we had the chance. But we never managed to work it so we could spend the night together. The only time we had spent the night together was the night after I buried my Gran. Even then it had been spent in a haze of sex until we both passed out. Then I had run.

I'd never told Alcide, at least not yet, but for me there had only been him. I had dated a few men, but I never took that big step with them, much less spent a night with them. That had been before I got pregnant. Then after I discovered I was pregnant, it just wasn't an option. After I had Justin, I was so wrapped up in being a mother and studying that I never made time for men in my life. I haven't had sex in over five years, by choice.

I snuggled into his warmth, nuzzling his neck as I got situated. I felt him stiffen, and then relax against me. His arousal was hard to miss as it brushed up against my stomach. I tried to ignore it. I knew he couldn't help it. So I focused on how it felt to be held as I drifted off to sleep. That was my downfall. I knew even as I felt sleep claim me I wouldn't want to give up that connection with Alcide.

I woke up again several hours later by myself. Alcide was gone, and the spot where he had slept wasn't warm. So it had been awhile since he woken up and left. Disappointment was a sharp stab in the heart as I sat up and looked around. His clothes were gone but there was a note sitting on my vanity. Adjusting my robe, since I had fallen asleep in it, I rose and walked over to pick it up. Alcide's handwriting jumped out at me, small, angled letters that didn't seem to fit his huge form.

**Sookie, sorry I left without waking you, but you looked so peaceful. Quinn and I have gone home to get some work done before this afternoon. Call me when you are ready for me to come over this afternoon. Thanks for the good time last night and remember, no regrets. -Alcide**

I smiled and fingered the paper, tracing the letters of his name, before I put it down. Checking the clock, I realized I only had an hour before I was supposed to pick up Justin. I pushed all the daydreams aside and headed to the bathroom. After a hot shower, and a vigorous scrubbing of my teeth, and another dose of aspirin, I felt almost human.

I pulled on a pair of capris and a tank top and slid my feet into sandals. After clipping my hair back, I wandered into the kitchen, where Amelia was slouched at the table, nursing a cup of coffee. I shot her a bright smile as I fixed my own coffee.

She scowled at me and tossed back her hair. "What the hell has got you in a good mood? You drank more than me."

I shrugged and sat down across from her. "I dunno, guess I just had a good sleep."

Her eyes narrowed and she studied me. Her coffee cup clattered to the table as she bolted upright. Coffee splashed everywhere as she shrieked, "Oh god, you slept with Alcide didn't you?"

"Amelia!" I scolded, jumping up to get a paper towel to clean up the mess. I swiped the towel over the drops and tossed the wet paper towel in the trash before sitting back down. "Technically, yes, I slept with him. But only in the sense of sharing a bed. There was no sex."

"So what I walked in on last night in the kitchen was what? Comparing recipes for chicken casserole?" she asked with a smug smile.

I flushed. "Bitch."

"Hey, I'm just saying," she said with a shrug. "What I walked in on looked like he had gotten you off."

My cheeks burned hotter. "Amelia! Stop!"

"What, Sookie?" she asked with wide, innocent eyes. "I'm just saying what I saw."

"It's personal!"

"Not if it was in the middle of the kitchen where anyone could walk in on you." There was laughter in her voice though I gave her credit for not laughing outright. "You should thank me. At least it wasn't one of the guys."

"Oh god," I moaned, burying my head in my arms. "Can you just shut up, please?"

"No way, I want the details!"

"There are no details! The kitchen thing...it never should have happened. I blame the tequila and my raging hormones. I swear, I'm like a horny teenager around Alcide."

Amelia laughed now and reached over to pat my arm. "You say that like it was a bad thing. So, let's just put that aside. What about the screaming that came later? Fight or sex?"

I raised my head to give her a baleful stare. "Fight. But I think we are in a better space now."

"Well that's good. The sexual tension around you two is thick is enough to choke a damn horse. And since we don't have a horse, I'm in the hot seat and I have to say, it's been hard not to just lock the two of you up alone and not let you out until you work out the issues."

"Some friend you are" I drawled sarcastically as I sat back up. I checked the clock and saw I had to leave soon. "I don't know if we've worked out all our issues, but we've come to terms on a few things. And we are not going to be having sex any time soon. We both agree that it isn't the right time to delve into that aspect of our relationship, if you can call it that."

"So what next?" Amelia asked.

I finished off my coffee and rose to rinse my cup. "Now I go and get Justin from Holly's. Then I call Alcide and invite him over. I'm kicking you and Tray out for the afternoon."

"Some friend you are," Amelia parroted back at me. "Can I ask why?"

I nodded with a smirk. "Yes you can."

Amelia rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at me. "Why?"

I rubbed my hands over my thighs and gave her an almost sick smile. "Because, this afternoon Alcide and I are going to tell Justin that Alcide is his father."

Amelia's lips opened and closed, giving her the look of a beached fish. Her eyes were wide and she sputtered for a moment before she said, "Are you sure?"

I thought about it. Was I sure? I felt sure. I was sure I was doing this for the right reasons. Justin deserved the truth. Alcide deserved to have time with his son. The secret I had clung to for so long was not so much a secret anymore. And I tried hard not to lie to Justin, and the truth behind his father was the only really thing I kept from him. I wanted to believe that my little boy was old enough to understand. Maybe not completely, but enough to understand. Getting on Alcide's good side was just a benefit. I realized with a flash that even after we told Justin, if Alcide decided he didn't want to have anything to do with me, I'd be completely okay with that. All that mattered is my little boy knew who his father was.

I nodded with confidence. "Yeah, I'm sure. It's time."

"Well, praise baby Jesus," Amelia breathed, rolling her eyes towards the heavens. "You've finally come to your senses."

"Oh shut up. I always planned on telling him, both hims, the truth one day. It's just sooner than I thought it would be." I smacked Amelia on the shoulder as she made a face at me.

"Uh-huh, suuuure you were." Sarcasm laced her words. "I've just been trying to get you to since the start."

"Wasn't time," I said shortly. "Come on, get off my case. Things are finally falling into place. Be happy for me."

Amelia sighed and rose to hug me. "I am, believe me I am. This is the best thing you could do. Just, be careful, okay. I don't want you hurt."

I stared at her flabbergasted. "How could I be hurt?"

Amelia made a frustrated sound and shook her head. "I just don't want you to get your hopes up that Alcide will forgive and forget since you are telling Justin the truth."

I waved that off with a brush of my hand. "Trust me, that is the last thing from my mind. It would be nice, but I'm not counting on it. In fact, I could care less. I'm just tired of the secrets and lies."

Amelia tilted her head and studied me with curiosity. Then she smiled. "I am so happy to hear that. Um, should you be going?"

I glanced at the clock and swore. I had gotten caught up in talking to Amelia that I had lost track of time. "Shit. I'm late. Listen, I'll be back in thirty minutes and I plan on inviting Alcide over after that so..."

She laughed and thrust my purse in my arms. "Got it. Tray and I will go over to his place for the afternoon. See ya, Sookie, and good luck!"

I blew her a kiss over my shoulder and took off. I had thirty minutes to pick up Justin, stop by the clinic to check on the animals that I had overnight, and swing by the store for a few odds and ends. It was going to be tight, but I could manage. I also had to talk to Justin about Alcide coming over, just not what for. I wasn't going to tell him the truth until Alcide got there, but I did want to warn him that it was for something serious. I was going to do my damnedest to make this easy on both Alcide and Justin.

**Author's Notes: And so there ya go. I know the song lyric doesn't exactly fit, but the song it comes from is about the things you missed that led you to your present. So it could be considered that Alcide leaving after high school and Sookie not telling about Justin was a good thing cause it led them to this point, where they are more mature and able to handle a relationship. We hope. We'll see. It's a good song, I highly recommend it. Anyhoo, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I make no promises on when the next will come out. I've adopted a write as you go attitude and my brain is bouncing around between many many projects. Hope to see you review!**


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